The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1387 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

I don’t know why I had a foreboding about Gareth’s car being in the driveway, it wasn’t like it is when I have intuitions from the blue light and I can see illnesses like they were big labels on people, this was just a sense of dread based on absolutely nothing. Perhaps I was simply thinking that I can’t cope with a dependent Stella and neonate at the moment–I’m just too busy–and I have a life as well as everyone else.

We went in and Julie immediately started flirting with Gareth. No wonder she gets into hot water so regularly–if it’s wearing trousers make a play for it. Mind you, Gareth looked too tired to be taking much notice of her.

“Cathy,” he said and we hugged.

“Nice to see you, Gareth,” I said then asked, “everything’s okay, isn’t it?”

“The baby and Stella are both fine and they want to discharge her in the next day or so.”

Ah, so that’s what he’s here for. “So what’s the plan?” I asked deliberately not taking control as I usually do.

“Well that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Make some tea, will you, sweetheart?” I asked the still buzzing Julie. I sat down at the kitchen table and bade him do the same, “What did you have in mind?”

“Ideally, I like her to come with me to the new house, but that isn’t going to happen anytime soon.”

“So what does she want to do?” I knew exactly what he was going to say, but I waited to hear him say it.

“She wants to come back here, she said you said she could.”

“It’s not my house, Gareth, it’s actually Daddy’s.” Tom looked over at me and rolled his eyes. “But okay, I tend to be the general manager.” Gareth blushed as if he felt I was playing with him–maybe I was–but not because of who he was and my previous feelings for him and my fear of them reappearing in the future–simply because I was becoming tired of being everybody’s mother and making everything better for everyone. In fact I was becoming tired full stop.

“Well could she?”

“Of course she can and we’ll all help her as we can, but things are pretty busy at the moment–I’m tied up with this play, so Jenny is busy with the kids and Julie’s working and helping with the play.”

“I appreciate that, and I’ll help her myself as much as I can.” He was desperate, the poor man.

I took the tea Julie proffered and Gareth accepted a cup as well. “Drink your tea and I’ll show you what’s available, see if you think it’ll be okay.” I felt like someone letting a flat or house. I knew it would be okay, I designed it for her–bedroom with en suite and a small sitting room, plus another bedroom if it was necessary, which I hoped it wasn’t. I must also remind Stella to take the pill or use some other form of contraception because I’m not looking after a third baby–I’ll kick her out first. I mean it’s not as if she doesn’t know what causes them–she was nurse specialist in GUM, and I don’t mean the pink stuff kids use for blowing bubbles.

We did the grand tour, there was even a double bed in there with a couple of wardrobes and chests of drawers. In the sitting room, there was a small three piece suite and a television. I deliberately didn’t include any sort of kitchen–it’s not a separate flat, it’s just a small suite of rooms, which could all go back to bedrooms or bedroom and small study or storeroom.

“I think that’d be perfect–at least to get her used to the idea of looking after the baby herself–I don’t know why she’s so nervous of being on her own.”

“She’s had a few problems in the past and I can see that she’d like help to be near if she needed it–but she has to learn to look after this baby.”

“She told me she looked after the first one, Desiree, isn’t it?”

“That’s all she did, when it suited her and we’ve been looking after Pud for the last umpteen months–the poor lamb’s going to be very confused about who is her mum–Stella, Jenny or me.”

“I’ll encourage her to look after both of them–why did you call her Pud?”

“Puddin’, it was our nickname for the bulge and it stuck–I suppose it’s mildly better than sprog.”

“Sounds like a military term?” he mused.

“Probably is, though none of us has had anything much to do with the army or the other services. I think Si might have been in the cadet force at school.”

“I was in that, myself–waste of time if you ask me–we only joined to play with guns and get a ride in a tank–as far as I remember no one joined up afterwards–unless they failed their A-levels.”

“You went to a public school, then?”

“Yeah, only a minor one–Sherborne.”

“I don’t know, didn’t Jeremy Irons go there?”

“Yeah, name me another famous pupil.”

“Um–Gareth Sage.”

“Hush,” he said, “I don’t want fans knocking on the door when I’m in work.”

No, they’re already inside waiting for you. “Julie isn’t going to be a problem, is she–she’s at that age and not having had many boyfriends she does tend to practice her flirting skills.”

“No–she’s a very pretty kid–but the last word is applicable I think, besides, I’ve given a commitment to Stella and I tend to stick by my word.”

“Absolutely!” That’s telling me, I thought–not that it worried me, but I’d have to stop wandering about the place starkers on a Sunday morning–only joking, it would frighten the children and probably cause Tom to have another MI–sorry, myocardial infarct–heart attack to you.

“How’s the play going?” he asked changing the subject while I fiddled with a curtain that wouldn’t hang properly.

“Yeah, it’s okay–bit different from teaching.”

“Is it?–I’ve seen you teach–it was performance art par excellence.”

“When have you seen me teach?” I was astonished.

“I’ve seen you present a film on dormice–that was teaching.”

“That was performing,” I countered, “it was more entertainment than education.”

“Sure it was, that’s why the numbers of young women wanting to do ecology courses increased overnight.”

“So you haven’t seen me teach?”

“I saw you do your talk at Sussex.”

“That was performance too.”

“How many did you speak to?” he asked.

“Enough to know that they were well entertained.”

“I beg to differ–you taught quite a lot of ecological principles just setting the scene.”

“Sure, they’re all going to walk to work and switch lights off, are they?”

“Why can’t you accept a compliment when it’s offered?”

I felt my face reddening and the room getting warmer. “Okay, so I’m a brilliant teacher–hardly qualifies me to play Shakespeare does it?”

“You didn’t listen to one word I said, I told you that you have amazing communication skills–one way ones at least,” I felt my sense of shame rise. “Actors and teachers, good ones anyway, are able to communicate on all levels, some so subtle you don’t even realise they’re doing it.”

“Yeah, okay, they’re pushing your buttons without you realising it–politicians do the same–now I hope you’re not going to suggest I do politics.”

He laughed, “Not at all, you are so defensive, Cathy, you need to lighten up and accept yourself as an exceptional, even special person.”

“Not you as well,” I groaned.

“I know Stella thinks so, who else has said it?”

“Anyone who’s had contact with my healing–so quite a few; but Tom is always telling me I’m special–I think he’s going gaga.”

“See, defensiveness again. Now listen–you are special, even without the healing–you have this ability to win people’s confidence and trust because of your communication skills–you naturally talk to their inner being–so don’t flip me off, okay?”

I shook my head and decided I wanted to go to bed, on my own and stay there for a couple of weeks if not longer–perhaps I could persuade Henry to buy a remote island somewhere–not too cold–where I could spend the next hundred years studying the ecology of woodlice or something really meaningful. Yeah, take my favourite eight records, the Bible, Complete works of Shakespeare plus the complete Gaby stories and my luxury item–a bicycle wouldn’t be allowed, so it would have to be um–I felt myself blushing–a solar powered–um, rabbit–and I don’t mean the furry kind.