The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1377 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

“Despite my dream and subsequent nocturnal emission–breastfeeding–what did you think I meant–I woke feeling as rested as I had for some time. I turned over to see what time it was and saw a face staring at me, I gasped and jumped.

It was only Trish who also jumped. I sat up in bed and laughed and she chuckled too. “Come and have a cuddle for two minutes, then we have to get up.”

She didn’t need much bidding and in half a second she was in the bed with me spooned around her little body. She isn’t very big for her age and I suspect she may stay small partly because she’s agonadal and her body was designed to react to male hormones not female ones. It might prove to her advantage in the end as small girls don’t attract as much attention as tall ones, but she’s going to be quite pretty anyway.

“What made you come into bed with me?”

“I remembered how we used to do it, so I thought I’d come again.”

“Is that the only reason?”

“Um--,” that she hesitated made me think it wasn’t.

“C’mon, you can’t fib to me–I’m your mother.”

“Um–I had a funny dream.”

“Tell me about it,” I encouraged.

“You were in it...”

“Was I? Is that what made it funny?”

“No, it was the other woman.”

“What woman was this?”

I don’t know, she seemed to change all the time–she’d be young and then old, she’d be beautiful and then old and ugly...it was really odd.”

“You said I was in it?”

“Yes you were arguing with the odd woman and she kept telling you off.”

“Was either of us surrounded in light?”

“Um–you were surrounded in white light and she was in blue. How did you know, Mummy?”

“I–uh–didn’t know, it was a guess.”

“It felt so real, an’ at one point I felt quite scared of her–as if she was going to try and take me away from you.”

“Not while I’m there, sweetheart.”

“I felt you were arguing for me–an’ I felt a bit better then, but I was scared to go back to sleep in case she got me.”

“Hey, don’t cry–no one’s going to hurt you while I’m around.”

“It was still scary, Mummy.”

“Scary Mummy,” mumbled Simon, “She scares the pants off me.”

“Silly Daddy,” said Trish–we were at least agreed on one thing.

“Who was she, Mummy?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart.”

“But you were calling her by some name.”

“But that was in a dream, darling–I wasn’t there, you just imagined I was.” I was telling lies like they were second nature, but anything else would be even more confusing.

“You called her, Shekah or something.”

“How do you know?”

“I just thought myself back into my dream.”

“Shekinah, perhaps?”

“Yes, that was it, Sheknah.”

“No, darling, Shekinah.”

“Who is she?”

“In Hebrew mythology, the female face of God–in other words the essence of the female spirit.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m not entirely sure, sweetheart, except part of me seems to think she’s the originator of the blue light–except I don’t believe in gods and goddesses–they disappeared when science began to stop believing in magic and became rationally based.” I realised I just talked over her head.

“Does that mean she gives you the blue light?”

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

“So she’s a nice lady really?”

I agreed even if I wasn’t at all sure about it all–she hadn’t been especially nice to me–well okay, I looked naturally female and I was able to breastfeed.

“That’s okay then, if she comes in my dreams again, I know she’s okay an’ I won’t be scared. I’ll be like you.”

I wasn’t sure if that was an entirely good idea, but I couldn’t say anything could I? Why had she chosen me–I’m not Jewish, as far as I know? And besides, I always seem to be in hot water and she spends half her time telling me off or threatening to terminate one or other of my children.

If remember originally she told me that the essence of female was strong in me–then she gave me a right earful. More or less the same last night–which makes me feel it’s just my unconscious trying to reassure me that I imagined it all–justifying what I’ve done to my body and so on and possibly even trying to boost my low self esteem as a female.

“Look, Mummy, she’s here again–only I don’t feel scared any more–hello, Mrs Sheknah.”

I looked at where she was pointing and to my horror I saw the woman again–what did she want now?

Simon turned over and muttered, “What woman? You’re both imagining things.”

“Fear not, your husband cannot see me–only female spirits can hear or see me.”

I felt like asking, ‘what d’ya want?’

Her response came into my mind as if she’d read mine and replied in similar fashion. Then I could hear Trish’s thought. Why did you want to take me away from my mummy?”

‘I thought you might want to come with me.’

‘You were going to hurt me–so I didn’t want come with you–I wanted to stay with my mummy, she’s a nice lady.’

‘Very well, Patricia, I promise I will not try to take you away again until it is your time.’

‘Does that mean I can have periods?’

‘No it means when you are old and ready to join me.’

‘You mean, like when I die?’

‘Yes–but it’s a long way away.’

‘Is it for my Mummy, too–a long way away?’

‘Long enough,’

She smiled at us and faded from view.

The alarm on the clock went off and Messrs Naughty and Humphrys were disturbing our peace.

Trish and I went to the bathroom together and got in the shower. “Did we really see that, Mummy–the strange woman–I mean?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart. There is such a thing as mass hallucination–where people think they’ve seen something.”

“Masaluciation?” she repeated wrongly.

“Never mind, just enjoy the warm water and know you’re alive.”

After drying myself and Trish, I roused the others and got them up for breakfast. Later on I took them to school and on to the hall for rehearsals–I wished now I hadn’t been suckered into this–mind you I suspect Matt feels the same–he was like a bear with a sore wotsit. He even reduced me to tears at one point shouting at me–the director bawled him out and he went off on a huge sulk.

The truth is, stage acting is different to appearing in films, there the editors can do something to alter your performance–on stage, you only have yourself and your fellow cast members–it’s kinda scary–especially when the cast is Matt or a bunch of school kids.