The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1349 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

We lay in bed having just put the light out, “Why were you asking about Toby Rushland?” Simon asked gently stroking my leg.

“Erin said she was bringing him to see me in Macbeth.”

“What for?”

“How would I know?”

“She’s not expecting you to end up in the West End or on Broadway, is she?”

“With Macbeth–I doubt it very much.

“And given that there are thousands of professionals to do it, why would they want amateurs?”

“Thanks, Si, that’s really helped my self-esteem.”

“You know what I meant.”

“Yeah, I’m rubbish and should leave it to the professionals.”

“Your leg is so smooth–how d’you manage it?”

“I sandpaper them twice a day and then iron out the wrinkles, why?”

“It works, whatever you do.”

“I get them waxed every four or five weeks and rub in loads of cream.”

“Oh, I just had a quick fantasy of you ironing your legs before I got home.”

“Pervert.”

“Now who has issues of self-worth?”

“It wasn’t me having depraved thoughts.”

“Depraved? Would you care to define that for me?”

“Why should I? I’m not getting involved in a contest of semantics–not at this time of night.”

“Would I still be depraved if I tell you what I imagined you were wearing while you were ironing your legs?”

“Probably, but I suspect you’re going to tell me anyway.”

“Good guess–you know those still high red shoes you have?”

“The four inch stilettos?”

“I didn’t measure them, but they’re very thin heeled.”

“Yeah, they’re four or four and half inches–I can hardly walk in them–what about them?”

“You were wearing them with black stocking and suspenders and bra and panties–a thong.”

“Have you ever worn one of those?”

“No, women wear them not blokes.”

“They do actually–I’ve got a good mind to buy you one so you can feel what it’s like walking round with a thin bit of material pulled up your bum.”

“Very sexy,” he smirked.

“Very bloody uncomfortable–you feel if you coughed violently you’d end up with one slit on your body which would start at the top of your buttocks and end at your belly button.”

“So why do girls wear them?”

“They look good under trousers, no VPL.”

“No V-what?”

“Visible panty line–girls have always worn uncomfortable things because it turns men on–the shoes you mentioned, stockings and suspender belts–nowhere near as comfortable as tights or as warm.”

“So why do you wear them then?”

Can he really be that thick–I just told him, didn’t I? “Why d’you think I wear them?”

“Because it makes you feel sexy.”

“Maybe, but it also makes you think I’m sexy.”

“I do even when you’re not wearing anything more than a smile.”

“That would probably be a grimace because I was freezing my aspidistra off.”

“You knew what I meant.”

He paused for a few moments obviously thinking about something. “D’you think I’d look sexy in a thong?”

I couldn’t think of much less of a turn on–“Not especially, why?”

“So why would you want me to wear one?”

“So you can see what it’s like wearing the clothing equivalent of a cheese wire.”

“No thanks.”

He paused and I let up on my sarcasm.

“I see some kid wore a skirt to school.”

“I should think thousands of kids wore skirts to school.”

“Yeah but this was boy.”

“So–it’s a free country.”

“Wouldn’t you have liked to wear a skirt to school at twelve?”

“Depends–why was he wearing it?”

“As a protest.”

“I wore one as a protest but I was older than twelve–it pissed off Murray.”

“You seem to be consistently able to do that simply by continuing to breathe.”

“That’s true–but one needs to have aspirations, or should that be inspirations?”

“Oh very good–you should have been a stand-up comic.”

“Yeah people at uni say that, especially after I’ve been teaching them.”

“Because you’re so sharp and witty?”

“No because I’m so bad at it.”

“Tom seems to think you’re quite good at it.”

“Daddy doesn’t do much of it now–he’s a bit out of touch.”

“He’d be mortified to hear you say that.”

“I’d be even more so to say it to him, but it’s true.”

“You think he should retire?”

“Not entirely, he’s a good administrator–leads a team well, but his teaching methods are not entirely up to date.”

“Does he do any teaching these days, I thought professors were mainly administrators and business managers.”

“Some actively lead research projects.”

“Isn’t he leading the survey?”

“Nominally–much like the queen is head of the army but you wouldn’t expect her to lead troops into battle, would you?”

“She used to be quite a good equestrian.”

“Okay, but I doubt she’d be much use on horseback against a cruise missile or attack helicopter.”

“Cathy, you are so literal at times.”

“Only at times?”

“Okay, most of the time.”

“You had me worried there for a minute.”

“I have to get up in five hours.”

“Well shut up and go to sleep–you’re the one who keeps talking all the time–you won’t find me doing it–Si? Si are you still awake–bloody men.”

I fell asleep dreaming I was a twelve year old boy wearing a skirt to school and being ridiculed for it–but being determined to make my point, kept on doing it. Sadly, all that happened was I betrayed my reasons for doing it, so when someone asked why I was wearing a skirt, they were just told I was queer or wanted to be a girl. The point I was trying to make never came up–just my excuse for doing what I wanted–to wear skirts–to be a girl.

I woke up needing a wee, that last cup of tea always gets me. I mused over the dream which seemed to have lasted a long time and wondered about the kid wearing a skirt–did he think of it or did his parents? Was he doing it just to make his point about wearing shorts–he could have done that instead and broken the school rules and got a dozen other boys to do the same–would the school have suspended them all? I doubt it.

Or if he could have got other boys to wear skirts–that would make more impact than just one. Or the school could have come back at him saying that they weren’t going to allow shorts, but boys can wear the regulation skirts in hot weather if so wish–make it official–that would stop him, he’d soon get fed up–not that I care either way.

Or do I? If Danny started wearing skirts as a protest, I’d be worried that there was something in the water round here, because that would make four gender challenged children in one family. Talk about cluster effects–that would tend to suggest I was to blame as an environmental factor–yet I don’t actively encourage them to be anything other than themselves. I’m quite happy for Danny to experiment in who he is–if he did turn feminine, I’d support him, similarly if he was gay or anything else. However, I think he’s a perfectly normal boy who enjoys doing boy things–whereas the others don’t seem to be that way and neither was I.

I snuggled back down next to Si and hoped that Danny found him a useful role model, because I certainly wasn’t.