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(aka Bike) Part 1362 by Angharad Copyright © 2011 Angharad
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They allowed me to take her to the local hospital where she was checked out while I found a cup of NHS tea–actually as vending machines go, it wasn’t that bad–then I heard the old woman’s voice coming from one of the cubicles.
“I’m alright–or I was till those stupid ambulance people let my Joss out–I told ‘em not to–but they wouldn’t bloody listen.”
There was a doctor or nurse remonstrating with her and I mosied up to reception. “Did you have an emergency admission of a police officer with a broken ankle a little earlier?”
“I can’t possibly tell you that.”
“If you did–I think you’ll find it’s her son–he might be able to calm her down a little.”
“I see, thank you.”
I went and sat down until Julie appeared a little later. She was smirking and the doctor who came out with her was blushing. “He wanted to do a swab–see if I’d been sexually assaulted–he got a little surprise,” she hissed at me.
“So would anyone who tried it on.”
“Is that before or after you got ‘em?”
“Does it matter?”
“Nah–s’pose not.”
“You’re Julie’s foster mother?” asked the flustered physician.
“Adoptive mother, yes.”
“So you’re aware of her unusual–um–arrangement–um down below.”
“I think so, but is it so unusual–I mean half the earth’s population has something similar, I believe. I suspect you probably have something similar.”
“Yes, but I’m not purporting to be female.”
“Neither is my daughter, she is female–she just has a plumbing problem.” Julie smiled as I said this. “I’d have thought that most doctors would cope with this sort of thing these days–I mean it’s hardly unusual is it? The Daily Mail carries stories about it most days.”
“I thought you read the Guardian, Mummy,” teased Julie.
“No, I just look at the pictures.” Even the doctor smiled at this.
“Don’t believe her, she lectures dormice,” said Julie.
“I wasn’t aware they were included in the education system,” replied the doctor.
“I think she means I sometimes teach about dormice.”
“Dormice–cute little critters.”
“You’ve seen one?”
“No, but there was film on telly last year about them.”
“On the BBC?” asked Julie.
“Probably–I don’t remember any adverts.”
“That was my mum,” beamed Jules.
“What was?”
“The film–she made it, wrote it, presented it–the works.”
“You don’t say–good lord. It was really good.”
“I’m not gonna sit ‘ere a moment longer.”
“She still here?” the doctor rolled his eyes and went to help.
Julie gave me a huge hug and a smacker on the cheek. “I love you, Mummy.”
“I love you too, darling.”
“Can we go now?”
“Yes, but only as far as the police station–we have to make statements.”
“Oh poo,” she pouted.
I phoned Simon and he met us at the police station with Jason. “I don’t need a tax lawyer, Si.”
“He used to do criminal law before that–he’s very clever.”
We both made statements and submitted and signed them. In walked Superintendent Carlyle. “Lady Cameron, give me one good reason why I shouldn’t charge you with criminal damage, interfering in police business, failing to stop at the scene of an accident, assaulting a police officer–shall I continue?”
“If you do we’ll go for a charge of police brutality, attempted murder, intimidation attempting to pervert the course of justice, making mendacious statements. Shall I continue?” asked Jason.
“Touche,” agreed the Super.
“We won’t press charges, if you don’t,” offered Jason–“Providing that officer resigns from the armed response unit.”
“I think we can work towards that sort of accommodation,” the Super held his hand out and Jason shook it.
“Can somebody actually tell me what’s going on?” I asked feeling rather tired.
“Basically, the two men–both now in custody–or will be when they discharge the one you disabled, Lady Cameron–conspired with a third one to kidnap and ransom the child of Bradley and Shirley Kemp once they found out the Kemps had won a large amount on the lottery.
“They found out she lived with you, and kidnapped her getting into her car at your house.”
“What? You’re joking.”
“Abduction and false imprisonment is no joking matter, Lady Cameron.
“It was only later they found out who her adoptive mother was and then the plan changed to kidnap you in the hope that the bank would pay a large ransom to get you back.”
“So I became a target?”
“Oh, Mummy, I so wanted you to come and rescue me, I didn’t think for one moment that they wanted you to do that–I’m sorry.”
“So you became the sprat to my mackerel.”
“I’m no prat.”
“I said, sprat, Julie.”
“I’m not one of those neither.”
“So you keep telling me.”
“Bah,” she walked towards the door.
“Can we go?”
“Of course you can–you were never under arrest.”
“Oh good.”
Simon had booked us into a hotel near Cowes–there are some in the field down the road. We now had three vehicles on the island and would need to get them home. The police released Julie’s Smart car and she followed me to the hotel–I simply followed Simon.
Then after a light meal, we had a drink–mine was a glass of wine–and a chat before retiring. I was bushed, but it made me smile that they didn’t realise Julie’s original gender.
“Would you have paid a ransom for me?” I asked Si.
“Nope.”
“Am I not worth it?”
“We don’t pay ransoms–simple as that–no British bank will.”
“Not even for your wife?” I was horrified.
“Especially not for wives or mothers in law.”
“You just made that last bit up–didn’t you?”
“Okay–but it’s true that we stopped doing insurance on their broomsticks because they had too many flying accidents.”
“You daft bugger,” I gave him a kiss and suddenly my fatigue lifted enough for us to make mad passionate love. We won’t be able to stay at that hotel again, especially go into that lounge again... We did wait until we got up to our room, Julie had already gone to bed–Jason had driven back to the ferry–he had a big case in London the next day.
“I can’t believe that old woman was the copper’s mother,” Simon chuckled–and I loved your description of broken leg, broken china and gravy on the knee.”
“Well, that’s what I saw.”
“And that stupid dog.”
“Who’s looking after that, I wonder?” Not that I cared very much.
“RSPCA–I suppose,” he said yawning. “It actually sat on top of her and growled at you?”
“Yes.”
“Then how you rescued Julie from the caravan.”
“It was more of a mobile home thing–look, I had to suggest we might pay for repairs.”
“What? You stupid fool–you never admit liability–what were you doing?”
“Rescuing my daughter.”
“No, stupid, admitting liability.”
“I think they might have had video footage of me doing it–taking a vehicle without consent and so on..."
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Comments
And that video footage
would probably beat the dormouse down the blouse video for viewers on youtube. Imagine .... "Ingenious mother uses backhoe to save daughter from kidnappers while frustrated police twiddle their thumbs" ... and ther is Cathy a determined look on her face demolishing a mobile home with construction machinery.
Easy As Falling off A Bike pt 1362
I am glad that Julie is innocent in this. She is only guilty of trusting the daft buggers long enough for them to get her.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Goodness me!
The last few Bikesodes have been a real roller coaster ride, and it looks as if things have ended well for the Cameron clan.
I can't help but wonder whether their newly found riches will influence the relationship between Julie and her parents...somehow I suspect not: miserable, selfish individuals that they've been so far.
Thanks A+B: I really don't know how you manage to come up with such imaginative and coherent tales so regularly, but I'm pleased that you do. I guess we now have a certain Shakespearean experience to look forward to.
Plentiful Stories
Bike Resources
Bike Resources
It occurred to me too
Well they might want to buy her love but not likely.
In the mean time, time's a wasting for Cathy to get herself sorted with regard to her lines for the Scottish play.
That should be fun :)
Kim
In the Colonies we call them Trackhoes
Yes, and I think that every little girl should be given one for her quinceanera. :) They are actually quite fun and very easy to use if you are not doing tasks like grading ditches and that sort of thing.
I'd never had any training on one, just fixed them, when a man took me to the woods and told me to make roads and dig ditches with one. By the end of a month I could give you change for a twenty. LOL
Quite fun Cathy, brought back memories.
Gwendolyn
What's this?
What's this, is Cathy beginning to be responsible for her actions? (Destruction of door, etc...) Perhaps having all these kids, she's beginning to "grow up". :-)
Just kidding there. LOL. Nice you let Julie pass so well. I've heard stories about other girls that have surprised docs the same way. Sounds fun/funny. Can't say I've had the same pleasure. (I've gotten "are those real" though...)
I wonder how Julie's biological mom feels about Cathy, now...
Thanks for keeping this up.
Anne
I remember
once being in a hospital very late at night and being really thirsty, I had just enough change, So like Cathy i decided to risk NHS vending machine tea, However unlike Cathy i couldn't tell you how good it was, Because to my frustration the tea came out looking perfect.... Unfortunately there was no cup there to recieve it !!... What made it even worse was there was no cafe open and with no more change.... No drink !
Loved the way Jason handled the pompous Superintendent Carlyle, It does make you wonder how people like that manage to get so high up in the police force.... Although given the standard of some of the police Cathy has met so far, Maybe it is not so difficult to work it out, I also guess the Superintendant can consider himself lucky.... At least he still has a job...
Kirri
That cop deserves worse
than he is getting. Still, not a bad ending (as far as endings can go on this series).