CHAPTER 85
It was odd how easily I drifted into my new role as a ‘housewife’ and woman. Kirsty had been right, it was me, far more than Adam had ever been. Eric and I had a few differences of opinion, as couples do, but I got my way, as women mostly do, especially in redecorating the house.

I brought one unusual piece of furniture into our bedroom, which was a high bar stool, on which Tabitha could perch so as to be able to see the world around her, and Eric brought another piece, a superb workstand for fettling our bikes. Shortly after that I became an audax widow, as he and Geoff started putting in the miles for their SR. I knew that Geoff was a PBP ‘ancien’, as Steph had given me all the gory details, and I had a suspicion that he was taking Eric along, quite literally for the ride.

That word kept coming up, ‘ordinary’, and that was finally how I felt. The weekends I was working nights, Geoff would drag my man out on some 300 or 600 kilometre ride, and I would be joined in my daytime slumbers by a wreck of a man who had left some smelly laundry in the basket but had the good grace to shower first. He would slide into bed, I would half-wake, snuggle into him, and drift off again till I woke for tea and preparation for work. It was actually becoming quite a good life.

We had our other moments, as two singletons always do when attempting to compromise in one space. We always have our own odd little habits, and fitting together is a process done gingerly. My ex-wife, for example, always insisted that sandwiches be cut diagonally or she would not eat them, but then we didn’t exactly negotiate successfully. She wanted a man, and I wanted…well, I didn’t know what I wanted. Whatever it was, Maria didn’t and couldn’t provide it. Eric, it seemed, could and usually did, and all I needed to do was treat him like a musical instrument and tune him a little. I am not going into any of the obvious jokes.

Life did indeed settle down to near-banality, but what surprised me was Steph. We were, by now, used to having Ginny or Sally descend on us, and once the Woods succumbed and bought Darren a bike he was soon a regular visitor. No, it was Steph. She asked, very nicely, one day as we four shared a meal and a bottle of a nice white.

“Do you miss him when he is off doing silly distances? Course you do, stupid question.”

I smiled back at her, as the other two made an excuse to bugger off to the garage to check chain tension or count spokes, or something else to allow us to chat about girl stuff.

“Steph, I never expected this sort of thing to happen, but, yeah, when he’s not there, it’s not right. I find myself reaching out, further and further, aye? And I find nothing but the edge of the bed, and I miss him”

“Yes, and the shifts, they don’t help, do they? You come home, and he’s out at work, or off with Geoff on some ride, and either way round his clock is askew, and you don’t connect. It gets a little lonely. I never thought I’d say that, I mean, I couldn’t love him any more than I do, even when he farts in bed and giggles about it”

“What are you suggesting, Steph?”

“Well, I have about a quarter of my shifts as nights, you must have about the same, so hows about, when we coincide, and those two are off playing Mark Beaumont, we put our spare rooms to use? That way we would have company for those little bits between bed and work. You know, we finish, we meet up, have a sort of girly breakfast and then get our heads down?”

She paused. “It’s just, I have got too used to having him in the house and I get a little out of sorts on my own.”

It made sense. Two women, two friends, sharing their smiles when their men were away playing. I chuckled, and Steph had to ask what was funny.

“It’s simple, really. All I have ever wanted is to be ordinary, absolutely unremarkable, and here we are, grass widows. How ordinary is that, aye? It sounds like a lovely idea. We can compare rosters and see where we coincide. Now, I have another proposal, one that Elaine suggested. I need to go home. I don’t have much of a family left down there, but when I wed my spawn of Satan it would be nice to have someone on my side of the church that is actually related.”

Steph was now nodding in her turn. “And you are worried as to what they will say. Tell me, how were your parents?”

“Trying to do a Sally? Very, very straight.”

I gave her a potted history of soldiers and machismo, of duty and honour, of beatings and burnings, and I could see her wince at each blow.

“I never had that, you know? Never had the disapproval, they were gone too soon, and I was left to fester on my own. I don’t know if I could have coped with that on top of everything else, I nearly fell apart as it was”

“So did I. I just want to see if I can make some connections, aye? And I suppose I am asking for a bit of moral support”

She was nodding again. “If I can get him off the bike for a day or two we could get some climbing in. Do you climb?”

“Do I look stupid? Scrambling up loose rock with a lot of air underneath? No ta!”

“OK, then, but you might find that Sar’s uncle or cousin might want to say hello”

“I suspect her sister wants to put us up, so we’d be sorted there. Just be nice to have a couple of friends along and, to be honest, someone to get Eric out of the way now and again. I think I might have a few…moments that would be made more difficult by having a male lover next to me. A bit Chapel round there, aye?”

“I will put it to Geoff. We have some memories from there, be nice to see some of the good ones again. So you are already planning the wedding?”

I blushed. Really blushed. “Sort of makes sense, yeah? I can’t see me ever going back in the box, so as long as I get signed off, and, you know…”

She winced. “Yes, I do know”

“You regret having it done?”

“God, no, I just wish it didn’t hurt so bloody much! Sorry, I don’t mean to put you off, just don’t expect a seamless glide into the physical side. It is an invasive, unpleasant business”

Lighten the mood. “So you regret getting it done?”

“Like hell! I was going for it before I met Geoff, I just didn’t have the–er, the guts for it. He gave me a focus, cleared my mind”

I laughed. “Did Sally ask you–“

“How big his cock is? Of course, it seems to be traditional with her.”

“Did you tell her?”

“Annie, love, don’t ever tell her anything, because she simply wants more and more info, and then she asks for pictures, the trollop”

The boys rejoined us as we laughed, but we refused to explain. I ran my proposal past them, and Geoff just nodded.

“St Govan’s or Stackpole? Or maybe Huntsman’s?”

Steph was a lot more precise. “We will have a lot of people to see, because all of that lot will expect us to see them first, and the main thing is to get Annie’s family on side”

Geoff was nodding. “Pub, everybody there, grand unveiling?”

I shook my head. “Part of what’s left of my family is SERIOUS Chapel, and a pub is not an option. I will need to contact them individually. It is going to be hard work, aye, and unfortunately it will be something I will mostly need to do alone”

I saw the flicker of resentment cross my man’s face, as he felt himself squeezed out.

“Look, love, I want you there. I want my family at the wedding, supporting me, loving you as kin, aye? I just need to get them used to the fact that Adam isn’t going to be there. I want you nearby, because if it goes well, I will call you round to meet them, and if it goes really badly I might need rescue, aye?”

“You think they might get silly?”

“I just don’t know. My Dad did, so there is precedent. I just can’t take you in straight away, no matter how much I want to show you off. But can you be there for me? Outside, round the corner, on the end of a phone, whatever?”

“Annie, love, just try and keep me away. Whatever you need, you know the answer”

And yes, indeed, I knew the answer well.