CHAPTER 88
The next day was an attempt to get some space in my head, and as the two boys went off on some silly 200km ride, Steph and I kept it down to half that distance. No, Eric, I am not riding up to the top of THAT and down the other side, because it would mean having to get up THAT twice more than necessary.

I led my friend out around the Gower instead, stopping for tea and cake where the waves came in from the Atlantic. That was when my mobile went off.

“Annie, Miriam. Where are you?”

“Rhosili, out on my bike with Stephanie”

“Can you make it to the Tawe Teas place by five? I have a small group of people to say hello to you”

“It would be without Eric, the two of them are on a longer ride”

“Then they are not sane. Shall we say five o’clock then?”

“What should I wear?”

“Much as you did for me, Annie. It avoids unnecessary disputes. Five, then. I have things I need to do”

Shit, it was coming too quickly. I dialled another number.

“Elaine, Annie. It’s set for five tonight, and the boys are off being sweaty””

“Arsebollocks. I can’t do that one, love. Would a sub be OK?”

“Who did you have in mind?”

“Let me ring around. Dad, perhaps. He can be eminently sensible when you get his head straight. I will call you back”

Steph was smiling. “At least there won’t be any Saeson there, that should help!”

I sighed. “I don’t know if anything can help with that lot, but I have to try, aye?”

We made our way back to Carmarthen after ringing the boys, and I fretted and fussed with myself till Twm knocked at the door, Arwel hulking behind him. The latter was straight to the point.

“What are these buggers like, then?”

“Ah, serious Chapel, teetotal, no telly on a Sunday, all of that stuff.”

“Can they sing?”

“Absolutely”

“Then we have some common ground, aye? Something to take them to if they get silly”

That was something I was learning about Arwel. The appearance was not in any way a reflection of the mind within; you expected some sort of scrap dealer, or dodgy back-street trader, and what emerged were shrewdness and a fine judge of character, wrapped in a stunning bluntness of approach. Alice alone bore witness to his generosity of spirit, and Sarah clearly adored him. I was quickly learning to trust his instincts. Twm, on the other hand, was solidity made flesh. No wordplay, no hidden games, just straight down the middle. The fact that they were both very big men helped, and I was relieved Arwel had left his son behind. That would have been overkill.

We squeezed into Arwel’s people carrier and made our way down the A48 to Swansea, and the tea rooms chosen by Miriam. Arwel parked, and I drew a deep breath, checking my face in the vanity mirror. Now or never. Miriam sent a text: ‘in back room’

My three bodyguards behind me, I entered the café and found the archway to the little back room my family occupied, standing for an instant to absorb the sight of eight people who were all that was left of my bloodline. As I was getting used to, it was only when Merry came over and kissed my cheek that they realised that I wasn’t just some woman looking for the toilets, but their nephew and cousin.

Stop that. Niece now, now and evermore. Merry squeezed my shoulder. “Courage” she whispered.

Aunty Esther looked straight at me, and along with the other eyes there I could feel her strip me to the bone.

“Annie, it is always a delight when you come to see your family. And as usual, you do it too infrequently. One day I shall not be here to welcome you”

That was a start, and I realised how hard Miriam must have worked on her mother. My uncles looked away, and I clearly heard the word ‘abomination’ from Uncle Thomas. Esther continued.

“You have brought friends, I see. English, I assume?”
.
Arwel laughed. “Do I sound like a bloody Sais?”

John actually laughed at that. More hope flickered.

“You sound like a Cardy boy. I’m John, Adam’s cousin. This is James, my brother, Thomas, my dad, Arthur, my dad’s brother. Over there is my Aunty Esther, and Miriam I see you have met. Leah and Myfanwy, there, are Uncle Arthur’s girls. And you are?”

There was a challenge in his eyes. Arwel rumbled “Not a Cardy boy, for a start. Abergwaun, that’s me. Arwel Powell, my brother Twm. Friends we are of Annie here, aye, and this is Stephanie, another friend, of Treffgarne”

John was still pushing, just a bit. “And a family meeting this is, a time for kin alone”

“You would have one girl against eight of you, and you are already using words like abomination? How’s that work, then?”

Uncle Tom looked up at this point, his face red. “I see no girl there, but a boy who should be made to abjure his sin and perversion”

Twm grunted. “Made to? How does that equate to repentance? Does the Book not say ‘hate sin, not the sinner’? Which of you has the spotless soul to pick up that first stone, aye?”

Miriam whispered in my ear “Shall we leave the men to their fight?”

“No, I have to do this.”

I walked past the two headbutting stags and took a seat between Aunty Esther and Leah, who gave me a wink as Esther squeezed my knee in welcome. James was glaring at me, and I returned that look with a raised eyebrow. I got paid to stare people down, so fuck him.

“See anything you like, James?”

“Your father would turn, Adam, and as for your brother, words fail me”

I kept the stare on full power. “Words fail you? Tell me, you would prefer me dead?”

There was a flicker. Leah took my hand. James continued, as silence fell on my use of that word.

“No, I would never wish that on anyone, certainly not my own family. I had a cousin I loved, I wish him back, free from sin”

“You have her back, here in front of you. The choice is not what it was, for that choice was Annie alive or Adam in the ground. Now you have a better choice: Annie in your family, in our family, or her forever apart from you”

John chipped in again.

“Why can we not have our Adam back?”

“Because Adam never existed, aye, was never real! This is me, this is who Adam always was”

Arwel was ready for that. “My Sarah, Twm’s girl, she has a friend, a priest, bit of a papist, aye, but still a good man.”

As he spoke, I could feel the tension easing. A doctrinal discussion was more to their taste, as was any chance to belittle a Roman.

“His name’s Pat, and he left the idolatry behind for the love of a good woman. Because of him, I met my old trout, aye? He wrote a sermon for another incense-botherer, but it was true, and it was right, and it spoke to people’s hearts and souls, aye?”

He had them, hooked on theology, eager to condemn.

“He spoke about love, true Christian love, not your sweaty fumbling, aye? He spoke about God wanting Man, each man, to be the best he could, and then he announced the collection would be going to a charity that pays for surgery to cure deformities.”

He stared hard at James, and at that moment he scared me.

“Of course, James, is it? James, you would abjure and repent such actions as against God’s revealed will, manifest in His creation, aye? Have some kiddy in a backward country starve on the streets because Our Lord made him ugly, aye? Have your cousin kill herself because Our Saviour messed up in the crotch area, is it? Is that your family love, your Christian charity? Do you not see from her left hand that others see more clearly?”

Oh shit. All heads flicked round, and James surged up from his seat.

“Enough! I am not sitting here for more of this perversion. Adam, I will pray for you, pray that Our Lord will lead you back from sin and depravity. John–“

John shook his head, but Arthur rose too, and both men stalked out. Arwel grinned.

“Right, now we have the open minds left, anyone for cake?”

John was staring closely at my ring.

“This is from a man?”

Before I could reply, Merry chipped in. “Not just ‘a man’, he is called Eric, and I have met him. He is a very fine man, and I would be proud to call him friend. I will be prouder when I can call him cousin”

Steph finally broke her silence. “Eric is indeed a fine man. Since I met Annie, I have seen her blossom, and that is mostly down to him. This is not my family, I have none beyond that of my husband, but I can only reinforce what Arwel here has stressed. You have the choice of a living niece and cousin, or of none. You very nearly had a dead one. Annie cannot make your choices for you”

I held up a hand. “My turn, aye? It is very simple. I will be married, that is not anything I would change, for any reason, and it will be to Eric. All I dream of is that, like any bride, I have my family there to stand with me.”

Leah turned to her sister, who nodded.

“Annie, you have us, and I assume that Merry has already declared in your favour”

Esther was nodding her assent, and I looked at John, who swallowed.

“I can do no less…Annie. I will speak to James. I still do not accept this, but I will not spurn my family”

“Uncle Tom?”

He sighed. “As John says. I will speak to Arthur, but I make no promises”

Arwel grinned again. “Right, now that’s settled, I hear you sing, boys. I am a bass baritone, like Twm here, but my boy Hywel is a wonderful clear tenor, aye?”

And that was his mood breaker. I caught a clear wink from Sarah’s dad, and under the table sent my text to Eric.

“Safe and sound. No casualties. We have wedding guests. When I get back be naked”