CHAPTER 101
That was a surprise. Four words, there, that give only a hint of the feeling I had of the floor dropping away from me. There was a whole world of implications in that one word, and I was instructed specifically not to raise it with Den.

Arse.

The Palace, though…not that I am a screaming royalist, but for fuck’s sake, THE PALACE! What the hell would some bloody mishmash of body parts like me be doing in Buck House? I would need Kelly and Jan, and Naomi to teach me the moves, and, shit, this was all too much. I realised I was getting more stressed over a presentation to an old woman than I had from running over glass to a burning car. I rang Eric.

“What you up to in a month, love?”

“Why? We doing anything special?!

“Not really, just meeting Brenda”

There was silence. Then, “You do mean Brenda as in Private Eye, don’t you?”

“Er, yes”

“Fuck me…”

“Later, dear, you’re at work, aye? People would talk”

I filled him in on the edited version, and as usual it was Eric that made the sensible suggestion.

“Annie, you have an opportunity here, you know, to try and get two of your family onside. How do they feel about the Queen?”

“Oh god, passionate, aye? Souvenir tea-pots, whole bloody lot”

“Then give Merry a ring. They might not be able to go to the actual presentation, but they get to have their photos taken with you at the gates, yeah?”

He was absolutely right. It was the sort of opportunity that might just break the logjam over the two boys, and it was in plenty of time to bring them onside properly for our wedding. I sent him my love and immediately rang Merry, who was quietly satisfied.

“Hey, I thought you would at least be a little excitable, lass!”

“Annie, nothing in this has surprised me, because I am supremely confident in your ability and your courage. What would have surprised me is if you had not acted as you did. To have that recognised at the highest level, that gratifies me. Now, I can assume two things from this telephone call. The first, I hope, is that you would wish me to attend the ceremony. The second…you wish me to try and speak to your uncle and cousin, aye?”

“Yes please. Eric suggested it as a way of ending the stand-off, aye?”

“He is a man of uncommon good sense, Annie. And taste in women, of course. Let me know dates, times, and so on, as I do believe I am aware of the location. And will I assume you will be in dark blue and white?”

“If my new uniform arrives, yes. It would be nice to have as much of my family there as possible. I am starting to consider many of my good friends as family, but just this once, I would like it to be purely blood kin, aye? I will have two in with me, and they will be yourself and my darling man.”

“No, Annie, it should be your Aunt Esther. Your parents are not here to see your glory, so it is fitting that an elder be there. Your beloved is essential, young and male; she brings balance and harmony.”

She was right, of course. “How did you get to be so wise, Merry?”

She sighed, and there was sadness there. “Long hours of solitary contemplation, my sweet. Now, we need to get a lot of things arranged, not least the accommodation. I do not believe many of our family will be happy sleeping under canvas, aye?”

I had to laugh at that. “There are hotels aplenty with us being so near the airport, Merry, and fast trains to Victoria. There are also friends with rooms who, I am sure, will be willing to help us out. Love, I really want this to be good…I really want everyone to be happy to be at our wedding, not there because they see it as duty, aye?”

“I will speak, my love. Now, I have a dress to select. And shoes!”

“And a hat, Merry!”

That was the start of two weeks of preparation, dieting as hard as I could, practising Naomi’s “Deportment” and laying out plans for all the visitors. It seemed to be the pattern of my life, forever catering for large groups, and I looked back once more at Fat Adam’s solitary and slow death in life, and the emotions were there, and so mixed. Ecstasy, utter joy, at what I had achieved, what others had done for me, and the shame, the loss of what could have been and what was so narrowly avoided.

The weeks went by, steadily ticking down towards Gong Day, as Jim called it, I walked, I curtsied, I tried on the new kit the Super had somehow organised, and winced at how dumpy my legs looked in the shoes. Eric made all the usual jokes about strippers, but I was seeing more and more my inner woman looking at me, and that was the problem.

Looking like a woman born is what I had always needed. Now that I did, I hit the other side of the pinball table: my arse did indeed look big in the skirt. I rebounded back off all the other little bumpers, of hair and eyebrows, underwear and face.

The afternoon before the ceremony I was counting the arrivals. Esther and Miriam to the Woods, Leah and Myfanwy to their neighbours, the married pairs of John and Arabella, Tom and Ruth, to a nearby B and B. It was evening, and I had finally given up on them, and gathered the clans at a local curry house, when Miriam’s phone beeped.

“They are at the hotel, Annie. They want to know where we are”

“Tell them to walk left out of the gateway to the traffic lights, and cross over, turning right by the Foresters’ Arms, aye? How many, Merry?”

“Three”

That would be Arthur, James and his wife Nerys, I hoped. I asked the waiter to set us another table, and bring some jugs of Adam’s Ale, the thought of which set me giggling, and they asked, and I explained, and the laughter started, and that was when the trio walked in, to find us all in hilarity. Nerys’ eyes flicked round the table, obviously looking for the freak, and I saw James prod her and indicate me. There was a brief, whispered conversation, and then she came over to me.

“Annie, is it now, my husband has some apologies that he will be giving you, aye? I did not marry a small-minded man, and I will not be letting him become one. James, fy nghariad, you have words to say before our family, aye? And you, you foolish old man, you are to as well. Go to, aye?”

It was James who made the move, watched by his brother with more than a touch of pride.

“Annie…for I see that is who you are, aye? Annie, we have read about what you did, and we have seen on the television the destruction you braved, the prints of your feet from the blood. That was what has shown me that I must apologise. Our Lord cannot but love someone who can act with such spirit, such grace, for another. I have wronged…we, this man and I… we have wronged our cousin, and we merely offer ourselves in prayer for your forgiveness, and for the forgiveness of your man and of our family. Will you take the hand of a cousin, of an uncle, in shame and supplication?”

I could do that, and to their embarrassment I could kiss their cheeks, and as for Nerys, oh dear girl, thank you. We settled down again, and the other two gradually lightened as food was ordered, and English curry menus compared to Welsh ones, and I had to go to the ladies’ to fix my face.

Merry and Nerys were both there, Merry twinkling happily, and Nerys clearly waiting to say her piece.

“You will have heard this before, girl. I am not someone who can approve of this…adjustment of His work, but I will be fair and equitable, in saying that it is clearly and absolutely right for you, aye? And I will not have my brothers and sisters cutting off their noses to spite their faces. You have done a great thing, Anne Price, and we shall stand with you and wait for Her Majesty’s recognition. Now, what of this man that you saved?”

“Den? I believe he and his wife will be there. He is healing, aye, but he is still not well. We shall have a dinner tomorrow night, and there will be friends there, and music, so I hope you have brought your voices”

She just smiled, and hugged me, and we rejoined the family.

There was curry, and laughter. But no beer.