The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1216 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

Home is where the heart is, or should that be hearth? Trish and I got back to discover Simon and Danny putting up a Christmas tree and Daddy trying to light a fire. I’ve probably mentioned before that the lounge fireplace is big enough to stand in. In the centre is a metal cage in which one burns logs plus the odd lump of coal. The ash falls through and can be cleared without having to dowse the fire. When it’s just wood ash, Daddy saves it for his vegetable garden, it’s rich in potash and other stuff.

When we walked in, Tom was busy with set of bellows trying to get the thing to burn up but only succeeded in causing lots of smoke to billow into the room. “Daddy, what’re you doing?” I asked taking the bellows off him.

“They said it wis gang tae be cauld, sae I thocht if I warumed tha lum , it would help keep the hoose warum. I haed some wood delivered an’ Leon helped me stack in tha woodshed, it’s a’ seasoned an’ dry.”

“Here let me do that.” I took the bellows off him and by chance got lucky and the wood crackled and burst into flame.

“We can all see where you’re going,” called Simon.

I responded by singing, “I’m a lumberjack and I’m all right...” from Monty Python, which immediately set him off with the rest of the song. The kids thought it was wonderful–the song, that is–but then lots of Python humour was aimed at the five-year-old in all of us.

Leon brought enough wood to stack it at the side of the hearth, about a yard from the actual fire. It does get warm but not enough to spontaneously combust, but it does dry and is great for starting fires–although we’d not had any since last winter and so it was all cold and damp wood that Daddy was using.

I got Leon to bring in the basket of logs and place them by the side of the fireplace, not in direct line with the fire but close enough for them to get nice and dry as well. In half an hour, I had a nice blaze going and I shoved some large potatoes wrapped in foil under the fire cage. They would cook in an hour or so in the ash as it dropped from the logs above and they would taste delicious.

Tom having recovered from his exertions with the fire, sat in an easy chair and read to the children. Danny and Simon still fought with the tree, and fused the lights at one point. Fortunately, because he’s done it so often, Simon knew where to go to fix it and reset the trip switch and as usual, he banged his head and came out from under the stairs rubbing his bonce and swearing. Oh well it keeps the boys happy, the girls were quite happy listening to Daddy reading Roald Dahl’s, The BFG.

I got on making a salad and mixing up some tuna and mayonnaise to go in the baked potatoes. By the time I’d got that all ready and boiled the kettle, Stella was down with Puddin’ and they were sitting listening to Gramps reading. When I asked who wanted tea, I realised Jenny was sitting in the corner with my baby asleep in her arms also listening to the story. Only Jules and I were missing.

Leon had finished stacking the wood–a ton of it–pretty backbreaking work. The lorry comes in tips the wood and goes. In the old days, I’ve done it on my own and with others if only to ensure that Tom didn’t have to do it. The woodshed is about the size of a small garage–remember this was once a farm–and can hold two or three tons of wood providing it’s stacked properly. Once it gets over six feet high, it gets potentially dangerous, so that’s as far as we go.

Because of the fire risk, Tom had smoke alarms and sprinklers fitted, it meant the insurance came down with a bump. That’s been extended to all the outbuildings now and was organised by Maureen–though she’s been so busy doing stuff for the bank, she’s rather neglected us.

The money she’s earned has meant she can pay off her mortgage and get a new car and also afford some electrolysis, which has meant quite an improvement in her appearance along with a greater sense of worth. She’ll never be a beauty, but now she doesn’t scream navvy in a dress when you look at her. Hopefully she’ll come for Christmas assuming she’s not out with her latest friend–okay, it’s another tranny, but so what? If they’re happy that’s all that counts. I’ve told her to bring her friend along but she went all coy when I mentioned it.

I keep forgetting that because puberty didn’t happen to me until I started oestrogens and my three GID kids will start hormones as soon as it’s appropriate and I mean about eleven or twelve as in a normal female puberty, even if I have to take them abroad to Holland or Germany–though I suspect Stephanie will prescribe them when it’s time. Hopefully, they’ll be even better shaped and looking than I am–not that I have much to complain about compared to many.

I decided that I would speak to Stephanie about Trish becoming a bit excessive in lording it over the others. In this house everyone has a voice, but the adults are those who make decisions–mainly, Daddy and I, although Si and Stella are involved when they need to be although they tend to defer decisions to me. Usually that means I get to choose the colour of carpets and curtains or wallpaper. I think I’m quite good at matching colours but I do show what I’m intending before it’s ordered and they have a chance to say if they have disagreements with me. Usually they don’t because that would mean I’d delegate it to them to do. Stella did it once with her bedroom–which I thought was as it should be, but she hated the process and ended up with the decorator choosing for her–crazy, but apparently that’s what they used to do when they lived at the cottage.

At one o’clock, I served lunch–the boys had just about managed to get the tree lights working–and this was a new set–again–I don’t know what Simon does to them, but they either fuse things or don’t work at all.

After lunch while they decorated the tree, Leon and I put some lights over some small trees out in the driveway–one either side of the front door. They were proper outside lights and were run from one of these cut out switch thingies, so if anyone gets electrocuted, it cuts out so we can move the body without fear of doing the same–great idea.

I ran Leon home after that, Livvie came with me and we had a little chat with his mum before we went to get Julie from the salon. “Where’s bighead?” she asked getting into the car.

“Please, Julie, I’ve had words with her, now I’m having some with you. You’re old enough to know better, she is only six.”

“Yeah, but she acts as if she knows everything–who does she think she is, bloody Einstein?”

“I don’t know but that’s the last I want to hear about it.”

“Just because she helped me in the beginning, she thinks she’s my teacher.”

“That’s enough–if either of you keep annoying each other I will intervene and neither of you will like the consequences. You can kiss the car goodbye and she won’t get her microscope. She knows it and now, so do you. End of discussion.”