Erin Halfelven

...walks into a bar...

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My apologies, but here come the jokes, inspired by a thread on Donna's story.

* * *

A girl walks into a bar with a dirty duck on her head. No one says anything to her while she takes a seat. She sips her drink quietly and shares a few peanuts with the duck who is frankly, quite filthy.

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Closed!

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Closed!

You probably wouldn't like it
if one of your favorite story sites were closed,
but it could happen.

Please, let's all be courteous, kind and considerate
in public comments attached to author stories.

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Fairy Tail

Fairy Tail

fairytale.gif
A prose poem.



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This story is 5 words long.

Want Your Own Home Page?

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I've got some software setup on the new server to help create a community of authors and readers. Each member would have their own homepage, free, with quite a bit of control of how it looks, who can add to it and what appears there. I'd like to test this out before opening it up to everyone so if you are interested in trying it, send me a PM at Erin and I'll send you back the web address for trying this out.

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New Chat Schedule - Sunday, 12 November, 11 am PST, (2 pm EST, 7 pm GMT) - Topic: TBA

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Bob Arnold and I (or at least one of us) will be in the chatroom this Sunday for at least two hours. What should we talk about?

I've got some suggested topics:

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Deadpan Detectives

I guess I'm to blame for this having started it all with the one about the zombies. :) Others have decided to share my guilt, so enjoy if you dare. This is just a post to link all the Deadpan Detective stories together, for those who haven't got their recommended daily allowance of puns. :)



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This story is 53 words long.

All at Once...

Synopsis:

Your life is about to change...

All at Once...



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This story is 10 words long.

In the Goblin Hour

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After midnight when
Our doubt and fear grow

In the Goblin Hour

by Erin Halfelven



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This story is 16 words long.

Moldy Oldie

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We had a leak inside a wall that we were unaware of until it started making a circle of carpet wet. They came to fix it today and ripped a nice hole in the wall so they could replace the pipe, stirring up a fair amount of dust. I don't know what set me off, mold in the carpet or wall, the dust the workmen made or smoke from the fires on the mountains--I didn't think much about it til about 20 minutes ago when I almost passed out before realizing I was having an asthma attack. Good old inhaler put me right but of course now I've got a headache and I probably won't sleep tonight from the side effects. Better than a trip to the emergency room, though. :)

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Dangerous Servers on Home Machines

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I don't know how else to put this warning out but someone, whose ISP appears to be in Virginia, is running a webserver on their machine. When I look at my logs, I can see the ip address of the router and that there is a small local network. Evil types could use the available info to break into such a server and hijack it for nefarious purposes.

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Still Sig

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I'm better but still sick as two dogs, each of which is sicker than the other one. The antibiotics are clearing up the sinus infection but I still have a cold and sore throat, plus the meds leave me tired and feeling goofy.

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Girlery -21- Biggerer

Girlery -21- Biggerer
Maybe she should name them Flopsy and Mopsy because they just grew?



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This story is 12 words long.

Girlery -20- Idaho Johnson

Girlery -20- Idaho Johnson
"Ancient temples? Ancient pimples!" he said.



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This story is 6 words long.

Girlery -19- Back to the Beach

Girlery -19- Back to the Beach
There's always a backside, er, downside to everything.



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This story is 8 words long.

Girlery -18- Caution: Falling Blondes

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 Falling Blondes
New! Clear Blonde!



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This story is 3 words long.

Girlery -17- Mysterrific

Girlery -17- Mysterrific
Okay, so spelling isn't one of her powers.



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This story is 8 words long.

Girlery -16- The Misspelled Ass

Justice usually makes an ass of someone.



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This story is 7 words long.

Girlery -15- Got Shoes?

Girlery -15- Got Shoes?
Shoes make the girl?



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This story is 4 words long.

Girlery -14- Chickiboo?

Girlery -14- Chickiboo?
Pet names are scary!



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This story is 4 words long.

Site Down

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For anyone who was wondering, the site was down for eight hours today due to network problems at my ISP. Then, after they fixed the network problems it took them two hours to figure out they hadn't turned my server back on! SHEESH! It's all back and fluffy now, though.

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Girlery -13- Girl Next Door

Girlery -13- Girl Next Door
If you live next to a strip club...



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This story is 8 words long.

Girlery -12- Beholder

Beholder
Listen. Do you smell something?



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This story is 5 words long.

Girlery -11- Wet Work

Girlery -11- Wet Work
A policeman's lot is not a soapy one.



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This story is 8 words long.

Girlery -10- Tough Job

Lawyers and voodoo, a dangerous mix.
Girlery -10- Rational Choice



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This story is 6 words long.

Girlery -9- Method Actor

What's my motivation, Stanley?

Method Actor



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This story is 4 words long.

Girlery -8- Jungle Tail

Who Jane?
Zantar
Me Jane?



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This story is 4 words long.

Girlery -7- Party Favor

Ever wake up after a really good party with no idea how you got where you are?

Girlery -7- Party Favor



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This story is 17 words long.

Girlery -6- Firestarter

Some people like to fight fires, some like to start them.

Girlery -6- Firestarter



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This story is 11 words long.

Girlery -5- Wonder, Boy?

Wonder Woman's new protege?
Girlery -5- Wonder, Boy?
Wonder...Boy?

Girlery -5- Wonder, Boy?
Unstable molecules? Just a guess...

Readers, Please Remember to Leave a Comment


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This story is 18 words long.

Girlery -4- The Dairy of Marcy Doats

No thumbnail. Look at the title again. :) Kinky but funny, I think.



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This story is 12 words long.

Girlery

girlery (ger'|luh|ree) noun - 1. place where people, presumably boys or men, are girled. 2. the practice of girling. 3. a sequential display of images of the victims of girling. From girl+gallery.


A Girlery of Gals

Where Image is Substance and Virtue is Illusion



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This story is 40 words long.

Girlery -2- Dangerous Practices


Dangerous Practices

We must...we must...



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This story is 4 words long.

Unification

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Currently working on coding a massive unification of BigCloset Classic and BigCloset TopShelf with new software. Besides lots of personal stuff, this is why there have been no cartoons or stories from me lately. Hope to have good news this month. :)

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Off to Mom's

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I'm off to spend the night with Mom and fix her breakfast in the morning. :)

I'm feeling hugely better after sleeping a great large amount, thanks to everyone who inquired.

I've got some catchup tasks to do on the site and there may be a couple of MAJOR changes in the planning ahead.

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BotC: -2- Nukyoolar Physics

Danny didn't even recognize some of the things in the back of Penny's closet. He knew what they were, he'd just never seen them before. "She never wears this stuff," he said to himself. He held up what must be a skintight sheath dress in a glowing pink, covered in little bronze plastic disks that would move and shimmer when the wearer walked. "Mom would have a freaking elephant if Penny ever wore this!"



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This story is 74 words long.

BotC: -1- Home Alone

Back of the Closet

An Interactive Fiction
by Erin Halfelven and Various Hands

What happens when Danny Sweet is left alone for a weekend, perhaps longer, with the contents of his sister's closet? Are there any secrets at the Back of the Closet? Follow Danny's adventures in this StoryTree -- or write your own adventure!



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This story is 54 words long.

Back of the Closet

Back of the Closet

An Interactive Fiction
by Erin Halfelven and Various Hands

What happens when Danny Sweet is left alone for a weekend, perhaps longer, with the contents of his sister's closet? Are there any secrets at the Back of the Closet? Follow Danny's adventures in this StoryTree -- or write your own adventure!



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This story is 54 words long.

Deadpan Again

They're back, just in time....

Deadpan Again

by Erin Halfelven



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This story is 10 words long.

Thirty Million Reasons -11-

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...Anna Maria began laying out the clothes she'd picked for me to wear.



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This story is 14 words long.

Thirty Million Reasons -10-

Synopsis:

"I can show you what you'd look like as a girl," Anna promised.



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This story is 14 words long.

Thirty Million Reasons -9-

Synopsis:

Kit has agreed to the plan but can he go through with it?



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This story is 14 words long.

Thirty Million Reasons -8-

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Been awhile since I got back to this but the story seems to want to move now. :)

Ed talks about foxhole confessions and the answer to a question. But does anyone ever know their own mind? Kit isn't too sure.



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This story is 41 words long.

Deadpan

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They're back, the laconic detectives from "Pattern."



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This story is 8 words long.

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