Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is dealing with the usual things that any Fourteen year old girl has to deal with. That is... if they are a girl in a world where girls aren’t born, they are transformed. Leaving her male life behind is difficult, and new threats are on the horizon.

Chapter 51

I sat on the couch, DeShaun snuggled against me, nibbling on my ear. Mom and Dad were busy cleaning up after the party. It had gone well, though I was still a little sad that my cousin had been so angry. I know it wasn’t his fault. He was scared, but still, it hurt. I reached my hand down and Poppy licked it and gave a little ‘woof’.

I could understand how scary it was to think about it, the uncertainty. Even now, I sometimes feel the regret that I hadn’t been able to stay a boy. But then I think of all I gained. Nuzzling against DeShaun’s chest, I felt … safe. A safety that I would not know as a scrawny, undersized boy. I had a protector, and more than that, I had courage. Tomorrow Would be my first day at the dojo. I was nervous about that, but I also had a strange confidence, one my male self never had. I don’t know when I drifted off to sleep, but I vaguely remember being carried up to my bedroom.

***

I woke up refreshed. I was in my pajamas, and I was sure Mom had done that. I know DeShaun had carried me up though. When Mom announced the big news about the baby, there were so many people that hugged her and gathered around her, it almost felt like her party. I didn’t mind though. I would have a baby brother, and with the news that DeShaun would be staying, I had so much to look forward to.

I stretched and dug through my closet, selecting a pair of black lycra workout pants. I slipped them on, then realized that I had very visible panty lines. Pulling them off, I sighed and dug out a thong. I had only worn a pair of ‘butt-floss” once before, but I would have to do it today. With that, I paired a black sports bra, and a green tank top. A matching green scrunchie held back my hair in a small ponytail. It was getting longer, and I was debating letting it grow to mid back or shoulder length. The Pixie was cute, but I wanted to try new things.

Putting on my sneakers, I headed downstairs. Mom was sitting at the table, having a grapefruit and some bacon. I shook my head at the unusual pairing.

“Don’t laugh kiddo. Some day you might be where I am, and the urge for something weird might hit you.”, she said as she shook her spoon at me.

My breathing hitched for a second as the impact of that statement hit. I might be pregnant some day. Sure I had thought about it many times before, but the immediacy of the moment put that forefront in my mind. I got a picture of myself, perhaps a little older, but with a big ol’ belly. Still no boobs though. Darned Self-image.

I shook off the thought and grabbed a grapefruit of my own and cut it in half, sprinkling some sugar on it.

After breakfast, we hopped in the car, Mom and I. I was a little nervous, but Mom smiled at me and reassured me that it would be alright. In about 5 minutes we arrived at the dojo, a nondescript storefront in a modest-looking strip mall.

“Is this really the place?”, I asked as I looked at it. Mom Nodded and we got out of the car. I walked tentatively up to the door and entered. There was a small desk up front, and a man was sitting there. He was wiry looking and slender. I looked around as Mom talked to him. There were gym mats on the floor, and mirrors on all the walls. A punching bag was suspended in one corner, and a speed bag in the other. There was a distinct hum from the fluorescent lights.

The man slid his chair out and stood up, and my jaw dropped. He was tall. And when I say tall, I mean TALL. He was easily close to seven foot tall, and his long frame was spidery and lithe. Watching him approach, I got the sense of fluidity and precision in his motion. Grace and strength personified.

I watched the tall, black man with his shaved head as he came over. He stooped down to look me in the eye.

“I am Marcus Wright. You may call me Sensei, Mr. Wright, Sir. You’ll find that we are pretty relaxed here about the martial arts doctrine here. My strategy is to teach you how to survive when you are given no option but to fight. Your discipline is up to you. You will get out of this only as much as you put into it.”, He said with a smile.

I nodded and spoke. “Yes Sensei!”

Sensei Wright grinned and motioned me to the mats. “Today is just an informal meeting to get a sense of your strengths and weaknesses, warm up and I’ll see what we can come up with in that regard.”

I nodded again and started with some simple stretches. Gradually getting more limbered up. After a couple minutes I stood and faced him. He nodded and led me over to the heavy bag.

“I’m going to have you show me what you know. Treat this bag as your attacker. Show me what you can do.”, he stated. Looking at me, and then over to Mom, he paused and spoke slowly and clearly. “Usually, when working with female students, I have one of my senior female students here to assist me. I might need to occasionally touch you to get you into a better posture or position. Rest assured that I have no motives, as far as touching you. A teacher and student should have a bond of trust. If at any point you feel uncomfortable during any lesson, please let me know and I will have someone else work with you for that session.”

I nodded again, that seemed quite reasonable. I demonstrated what Aunt Maggie had taught me, and Sensei Marcus adjusted, my stance. He moved my feet apart and showed me how to generate power from the hips and to put that power into punches.
We worked out for close to an hour, and I learned quite a lot. I was given a list of videos to find and watch and a couple books that might help me with the fundamentals.

I left the dojo, with the promise to work on what I learned for the next class.
Arriving home, I took a nice long shower. My increased flexibility as a girl surprised me when I had been asked to see how High I could kick. When I managed to kick my foot up over my head, I was stunned. I thought about this as I lathered up the body wash. Sure, I had done front and side splits before while experimenting, but I never really thought about it t this degree. DeShaun has commented on my wide hips on several occasions, but I ran my hands down my body, feeling them. Mmmm… If I could manage to get anything up top, I’d be a knockout.

After I finished my shower, I put on some tight jeans and a sexy tee with a v-neck. Of course I don’t have any cleavage to display, but I still wanted to show off a little. Walking past DeShaun as he reclined on the couch, I stretched and feigned a yawn. I could see his reflection in the window, and knew he was watching intently. I bent over and pretended to pull up my sock, all for his benefit.

I was sensing that he was starting to have a… predicament. I decided to spare him the embarrassment by coming over to the couch and snuggling up with him. Not a moment too soon, as Dad came in.
I sat snuggled against DeShaun, between his spread legs as we reclined sideways on the couch.

“Mmmmm”, I purred as I lay there, relaxing. I was kind of spent from my workout. “I love you” I whispered as he nibbled on my ear. Dad turned on the TV and watched the pre-game for the Vikings game. I feigned interest as DeShaun rubbed my tummy gently.

“Love you too, babygirl.”, DeShaun whispered. Dad glanced over. I know he heard, but he was kind enough to pretend he hadn’t. I closed my eyes and breathed softly, a couple times his breath on my neck made my breathing hitch for a second. I could hardly wait to be girl enough to love him in that way. The Doctor had said that likely by the end of the week or so I might be. And during my shower, I had experimented a little. I could barely get a couple fingers into myself.

Mom wandered into the room while I was daydreaming. She was looking over at me when I opened my eyes.

“You two know that since he’s staying, there will be some firm ground rules.”, she exclaimed. “Sweetie, I know you will be physically capable soon. Just talk to us you two, if things start heading that way. Remember, even because you are on the pill, that’s no guarantee…. and DeShaun, you are already going to be a father, don’t compound your problems. Teen pregnancy is perhaps the most difficult thing you could face. I know you want to go to college, and I hope that you can. But a baby takes a lot of time and money. Your sister loves you, and I’m sure they will help you as much as they can. We are here too, if you need… but if you knock her up, there will be Hell to pay.”

We both swallowed hard, and the gentle tummy rubs ceased... but I still felt his love and affection, just by being wrapped up in his strong arms.

Poppy wandered in from wherever she had been napping and hopped up on the couch with us. Dad looked at me, then sighed. “I suppose we can let her have couch privileges, so long as she doesn’t make a mess. Speaking of messes, I think she probably needs a walk.”

I sighed and got up, grabbing Poppy’s lead from the hanger in the entryway. I paused for a moment, then remembered that Mom said there would be plastic bags in the entryway closet from now on.
Grabbing a couple, I hooked the lead on my excited pupper’s collar. I looked back at DeShaun, who was enthralled in the football pregame. I sighed again and grabbed my jacket before heading out the door.

The leaves were just starting to come into their peak of colors, and I stopped while Poppy sniffed around a large oak. It had only been a little more than a month, but my life was changing in so many ways. It scared me to think that this was my new normal. Scared me but also exhilarated me. Had you asked me back in August about being a girl, and having a boyfriend, I would have gotten angry and stormed off, or I might have broken into tears. I don’t know. But strange is it seemed, a thought occurred to me. I liked who I was now, I liked being a girl. I maybe even loved it. No, I do love it, and I love it more than I ever thought possible.

After Poppy did what we were out here to do, I carefully disposed of the baggy in a trash can and continued to enjoy what nature had given me... both the beautiful day, and the beautiful new me.