Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 21.

Chicago. I lay in bed thinking about it. The end of the semester and the day that DeShaun leaves would come at the end of November. There were too many things swirling about, making me uncertain. I was going through my changes, there was the football season, the potential of a trial, the problems with Janie. I love him, but I can’t bare to lose him now.

I tossed and turned and tried, but sleep eluded me. I got up at about 6:00, and after washing up, I went downstairs. Dad was on the phone, and looked concerned. He looked at me, and walked away, and into the kitchen. I looked over at Mom, she gave me the ‘I don’t know anything’ look, and then likewise headed for the kitchen. Dad was still on the phone when DeShaun came down 20 minutes later.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Dad got off the phone, and motioned for DeShaun and I to sit.

“I have some news about Marcia Hayes. It is shocking and you might not want to hear it. Apparently she signed a full confession to all charges, and after being returned to her cell, she bit her tongue off and bit through her wrists.”, dad said in a somber tone.

Deshaun gasped and I put my head on his shoulder, and wrapped him in a hug.

Dad looked at us, and spoke again. “The guards got to her in time, and she was rushed into surgery. She is expected to survive, and so is her baby.”

Baby? I got a sudden feeling of dread. “DeShaun, tell me the truth. Did you and Marcia ever have sex? Could it be yours?” I looked at him, but he avoided my gaze, looking at the floor.

“It’s possi-”, he began, before my slap stopped him. I ran to Mom, and buried my face against her.

“Casey! It was a mistake! I hadn’t met you yet. I was mad at my Dad, and I wanted to get back at him, so one night I ran into her, and we headed off to the woods, and we-”

I turned and spat out at him all my anger. “You were with her, then you were with me. And you took myself away from me, and all this time I thought we were each other’s first, and that you cared for me!”

He opened his mouth to speak, but Dad put his hand on his shoulder and shook his head. “Give her time, DeShaun, she won’t hear you right now.”, he said.

Mom held me, even as she called the school, and said I wouldn’t be in today. After a quiet breakfast of cheerios, Dad took DeShaun to school.
After the men left. Did I really just think that? Mom and I sat on the couch. She stroked my hair and tried her best to make me feel better.

“I don’t have any clients today”, she said. “How about we have another girl’s day?”

I nodded. Thanks to that bastard, and thanks to my own inaction, that’s what I was. My shriveled scrotum and tiny dick were signs of that. “Okay, but no limits this time. If this is who I am, I better get used to it.”, I exclaimed in anger.

Mom looked at me uncertainly, but she nodded. We arrived at the mall, as most of the shops were opening. I knew that I still had some growing.. (or is it shrinking?) yet to do, so a lot of clothing options were out, no panties or pants, but I could claim my girl-ness in other ways.

A trip to the nail salon was first. A matronly older woman waited on me. She looked at my nails and buffed them. They were short, since I had kept trimming them as a boy would, but she applied some dark red to them that made them pop. At the same time, another woman buffed my toenails and applied the same color to them.

Next was a consultation a consultation with a beautician, she advised me about make-up and complimentary colors for my hair and skin-tone. She showed me how to apply them, and then removed them and had me try. I did just as she had, and looking in the mirror, I was stunned. The smokey black eye shadow set off my chocolate-colored eyes , and the dark ruby red lipstick gave me gorgeous pouty lips. Accented by some light ruby blush completed the look. I… I was hot. Up until now people had told me that I was hot, and that easily I was one of the prettiest girls in the school. But I hadn’t believed it. Staring the fact straight in the face (pun intended!), I knew it was true. My curvy hips, narrow waist, that little booty of mine, combined with my shapely legs… I had it going on.

Hitting the Gap, American Eagle, and some of the specialty stores, we found some nice dresses that would still fit me when I was done changing. The shoe store was a challenge, because Mom insisted that if I were determined to be a real girl, I would need heels. I looked at several pairs of ankle-breakers, and picked a few pairs of strappy sandals with low heels, and then mom sprung some higher heels on me. My foot size wasn’t likely to change much more, having reduced down to a women’s size 6.

After trying on the heels, I wobbled around, with her arm to steady myself. They were black and had a pointed toe, and ankle strap, with a 3” heel. I got them, and resolved to practice in them daily, especially since I was on the fast train to shortness. Got a new pair of canvas sneakers, these were my new size, and didn’t need several pairs of socks to not be loose.

Picking up the bags, we wandered to the food court. Mom gave me money to get our lunches, and she took our bags out to the car.

When she got back, I was sitting and munching on my sub sandwich. I went for the cold cut, and I knew Mom favored the tuna. I sipped my Dr. Pepper and demurely wiped some mayonnaise from my cheek. (Hey, I had practiced this girl thing some).

I gathered my hair up behind my left ear, and used a bobbie pin Mom gave me to hold it there.
After lunch we hit Target and picked up some more shades of make-up, the shaving supplies that I needed, and though I didn’t need them just yet, some ‘monthly supplies’.
Taking a break from the girl stuff, I ran over to the video games section and poked around. Nothing really appealed to me, and when I went back to Mom, she was looking at bras.

He help up a particularly lacy pink one. “Isn’t this cute?”, she said with a giggle.

I did have to admit it was. “But Mom! I don’t need it.”, I protested. To demonstrate, I bunched up the baggy tee I was wearing behind my back, to clearly show her that I was still, for all intents and purposes, flat as a board.

She bit her lip and came over and hugged me. “Maybe some day”, she said. I had to admit that genetics probably had some surprise for me. Mom was a D cup, and Aunt Lucy, Grandma, and all my cousins on her side of the family were fairly well endowed. For that matter, Dad’s mother wasn’t exactly small either.

After pulling her out of the bra department, Mom led me to the movies section. I gravitated towards some action flicks, but she shook her head and picked up what I would have dismissed in the past as “chick flicks”.

When we got home, Mom grabbed some fruit and lemonade, and we sat down and watched the first movie. I really got into it. The plot revolved around a young girl, just finished with her change, and her struggles with adapting to her new gender, insecurity about her sexuality, and struggles to find her place in society. Gee Mom, real subtle with this choice.

The next movie was somewhat better. It was set in the 1800’s and was about a family of sisters that were trying to keep the family farm afloat after the death of their parents. The effects and make-up were particularly well done, between the CGI and the make-up, you couldn’t tell that the youngest sisters were played by boys. After the movie, I kind of zoned out. I was thinking about what it must have been like back then, being born female and growing up that way.

After the movies, I plotted some revenge against DeShaun. I went upstairs and put on some cute ankle socks with lace around the ankle, a pair of casual sandal black with a slight heel. The main source of revenge though? A cute black dress with white lace around the neckline and straps. It hugged my upper body, before draping down my hips and butt, accentuating them. It ended at the knee, allowing juuust enough of a view of my legs. I replaced the bobbie pin with a cute barrette, and took out the studs in my ears and put in some small hoops.

I went downstairs to wait, since he wouldn’t be home for a while. The game was at 5, and he should be back around 8.

Sitting on the couch, I turned on the tv and killed some time. After a while, the doorbell rang. I got up and went over and opened it up, and looked into the face of my precious angel.

Janie stood there, and looked at me. It was a complete role reversal, I was dressed femininely and looked good. She was the one hiding in the hoodie and baggy sweats. I ushered her in, and sat down beside her on the couch.

“When did you get out of the hospital?” I asked, concerned. She looked up at me, or at least I think she did. The hoodie she had on was so large that it almost fit like a cowl, obscuring her face.

“They let me out this morning. Mom only let me come over if she drove me.”, she stated meekly. I looked at her and put my arm around her, only to have her flinch and move away.

Janie sighed and moved back closer. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little jumpy. I don’t remember the attack at all, I was ambushed from behind.”

I leaned closer and took her hand, stroking the back with my thumb as I held it. “You are safe now, that bitch is locked up, and will never hurt us again.”, I said through gritted teeth.

“Us?”, Janie said with some confusion. I looked at her sitting there. I still couldn’t see her face.

“That bitch Marcia, she slept with DeShaun, and she might be having his baby.”, I said with obvious venom in each and every word.

Janie turned her head, and reached up, pulling the hood off. She looked at me. There were stitches along her hairline, and a big, purple bruise. Her eye was black, and puffy still, even after all these days.

She looked down at the floor, and mumbled something. I turned and faced her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear what you said. Could you repeat it?”, I asked her.

She looked at me, looking me in the eye and swallowing hard. “I said that I know, I’ve known about that for a while.”, she said with her eyes still down cast.

I tried to get up, to move away, but my legs wouldn’t cooperate. I fell and landed on the floor. Everyone was betraying me.