Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is dealing with the usual things that any Fourteen year old girl has to deal with. That is... if they are a girl in a world where girls aren’t born, they are transformed. Leaving her male life behind is difficult, and new threats are on the horizon.

Chapter 50

I laid on the couch, snuggled up against DeShaun. Mom and Dad had gone to bed already, and Nana and Pop-pop were back at their hotel. Janie and Luna were staying over at Janie’s house tonight. The game had ended on a field goal by the other team, and we had lost 27-24. DeShaun had of course been brilliant, making several difficult catches. Afterwards, everyone had gone out together for Chinese. There were lots of questions from Nana and Po-pop towards DeShaun about me, and I felt like disappearing under the table.

After dinner mercifully ended, we came home and here we are, snuggling. I sighed and pressed closer to him, purring to myself. He was so strong and handsome. I was so lucky.

“Penny for your thoughts”, DeShaun said suddenly.

“I was just thinking what a lucky girl I am”, I said as I snuggled closer to him.

He stroked my hair and gently asked the question. “What’s it like?”

“Hm? Becoming a girl, you mean?”, I asked.

“Yeah.”

“It’s scary as hell. You think you know yourself. Who you are, what you want. But then all that changes so suddenly. Your body starts to change into something you don’t recognize. New feelings and emotions begin to flood your brain and body. You feel like you are becoming something alien. It scared me at first when I realized that I was becoming attracted to boys. Your whole world turns upside-down. I wasn’t the most masculine boy around. But now even the old me seems alien. I catch myself looking at Mom, and thinking someday I’ll be having a baby. And that scares the hell out of me.”, I reply softly.

DeShaun pulls me closer into a hug. “I’m sorry for doing this to you”, he says sadly.

I pull myself up and lean in, giving him a deep, passionate kiss. “Don’t be, I would do it all again. I love you and don’t want to not be in love with you.”, I say as I stroke his cheek.

We lay there snuggling for a while longer, before we eventually wander up to our separate rooms for the night.

I woke up early, the party was today and I was excited. I threw on a nice royal blue skirt that came down to just above the knees, some cute ankle socks and my black chucks. I opted for a beige shirt, and over it, I put on a wool sweater with a cute high loose turtleneck collar. It was starting to get nippy, as October was clearly upon us.
We had a light breakfast, as the food for the party would be more than enough to satisfy even the most healthy appetite. I sat down on the couch, and DeShaun joined me, but there was considerably less snuggling going on, as we weren’t alone this time.

After a little while, Dad got up and dragged DeShaun off to help with the backyard. Mom was left alone with me, as she wasn’t allowed to help, despite her protestations. I could see her point. Decorating the yard wasn’t risky for the baby. The baby… I’m going to be a big sister. The sheer thought of it still made me happy. I honestly never thought that I would be able to say that. I was their supposed “miracle baby”, and they never thought that Mom could conceive another.

This time next year, I’d have a little brother to fuss over. Then I thought about it. DeShaun would be gone. And he would have a son of his own to deal with. I would be forgotten. Abandoned. I didn’t notice I was crying until Mom came over and sat down beside me.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”, she asked me, as she gently wiped away the tears.

I snuffled and answered, as I fought back the tears. “This time next year, DeShaun will be gone, and he’ll be busy with his own baby. I love him so much mom. It hurts to think about. It hurts.” I started to sob, and Mom patted her lap, and I laid down, placing my head there while she stroked my hair and told me that everything would work out.

I tried to believe her, but it was hard. Our moment was interrupted by the doorbell. I wiped my eyes, and got up to answer. I opened the door, and was engulfed in a hug by Pop-pop. Nana side-stepped around us and came in. Before I could close the door, Hercules came through. Aunt Maggie wasn’t far behind, of course.

“Hey there birthday girl!”, she said as she put down a large package. I knew it was for me, but I looked at it curiously.

“You might want to open that right now”, she suggested, looking over at Mom. Mom nodded and I hurriedly opened the cardboard box. It had holes on it, but I couldn’t see in very clearly. When I managed to get the top opened up, I squealed.

It was a puppy! A cute little puppy was snoozing in the box. I lifted it up and looked at it. It clearly looked like Herc. I looked over at Aunt Maggie.

“Her name is Poppy, and yes, Herc is her dad”, She told me. “I talked to your mom and dad about this, and they felt you are mature enough to handle the responsibilities of a dog. Plus when She is old enough, I’ve arranged for her to go to a trainer nearby that specializes in guard dog training. You don’t need to worry about bullies anymore.”

I hugged Mom and Aunt Maggie and picked up the sleeping cutie. She opened her eyes, and licked my nose, her tail wagging excitedly.

I took Poppy out back and showed her off. Everyone thought she was adorable. I handed her off to mom, and went back inside. The doorbell was ringing again.

I opened the door and there was my uncle Ted. Uncle Ted is Dad’s younger brother. Dad and he get along okay, but he looks down on Dad… literally. Having gotten the height that Dad lacks, he kind of rubs Dad’s face in it.

“Hi, I’m here for my nephew’s party. You must be Casey’s girlfriend. He certainly did pick a cutie!”, He says. Apparently nobody told him.

I sigh and let him in. “Uncle Ted, everyone is out back.”, I say.

He looks at me, then squints. “Casey?”, he asks uncertainly.

I nod, and he practically trips over his tongue apologizing.

I wonder who else will be coming that is out of the loop. Watching Uncle Ted scurry out back, I sigh and get ready to close the door when two much more welcome guests appear. I smile and hug Janie and Luna and usher them in.

I lead my besties out back and they squee and fall all over themselves petting and hugging Poppy.
I watch as uncle Ted goes over to Dad and has a few words. Dad laughs and Ted drops his head. I giggle to myself quietly and go back inside.

Mom is in the kitchen getting food out and Luna has joined her in helping. I look around for Janie, and then see her coming in. Since I’m the birthday girl, I’m not allowed to help, even though I ask several times.

More guests arrive and I excitedly open the door for Grandma and Grandpa Church. It’s not that I don’t love them as much as Nana Church and Pop-pop, it’s just that well… Dad’s parents are a lot more… old school, I guess.

“Gran! Gramps!”, I excitedly squeal as I hug them. They hug me back, then gran does the whole ‘let me look at you’ thing, where she pulls away and looks me up and down.

“Poor dear”, she says. “I see the boob fairy is late in arriving.” I stand there gob-smacked and her stern face cracks and she starts to laugh. She pulls me back in and hugs me tightly.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m only teasing. I was late to that particular party myself”, she reassures me. I blush, as Gran certainly didn’t miss said party, and even hung around for extras, I think.

I show them in and accompany them to the back yard. As everyone mingles, I take the opportunity to sit and pet Poppy, as she jumps into my lap. Such a cutie. More people filter in. Uncle Mark- Mom’s baby brother- arrives with his brood. My cousins John, Paul, George, and Richard. Yes, they apparently get teased about that constantly, so I don’t start in. As I sit, John approaches me.

“I had heard, but I couldn’t believe it. How could you?”, He states with an angry look on his face. “You traitor. Why did you do it? Why did you allow someone to shove their dick up your ass?” I sit there floored, unable to speak. For his part, he storms off to the opposite side of the yard.

I sniffle and put Poppy down, quietly I make my way upstairs. Upon entering my room, I flop down on the bed and the waterworks begin. Damn hormones. I hate this.
After a few minutes, I hear a knocking on the door. “Can I come in?”, Mom asks through the door.

I mumble my permission, and she comes in and sits down next to me.

“What happened?”, she asks gently.

I relate what happened and she strokes my hair. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. I think that he’s afraid, is all. Soon it’ll be time for him, and he’s scared. Just remember you are not a traitor, you are a lovely girl that has friends and family that care deeply for you. Now, there’s a backyard full of people that feel that way, Let’s go down and join them, shall we?”

I nod my agreement and fix my face. After some cold water and wiping, the puffiness has gone away and I head down. I walk out to the backyard. I see DeShaun, and head over to him. Curiously, his sister is here for some reason, I didn’t even know she was in town.

Apparently he didn’t either. “Stephanie! I didn’t know you were in town. What brings you here?” I ask out of concern.

She smiles. “I came to bring DeShaun some good news, but seeing as it’s your birthday party… I guess it’s a present for you as well. My husband and I have been talking, and with everything going on with my brother, and my nephew-to-be, we’ve decided to relocate back here this summer. I’m here now to work on details with your parents for DeShaun to stay for the remainder of the school year.”

I look at DeShaun, and he looks back at me, and then we both wrap his sister up in a large hug.

“You mean it?”, he asks. “I get to stay here?”

His sister nods, and I hug him. We go over to the patio bench and sit, holding hands. Soon though I’m swept off for official birthday girl duties. I make the rounds, greeting everyone, and having small talk. I notice that Georgie is here, sitting with Luna and Janie. They are playing with Poppy. Thinking about everything, I am lucky after all. Remembering John, I look around, but he seems to be hiding. I’ll have to track him down at some point and have a talk with him. I’m still hurt, but I can forgive him. And maybe, just maybe I can reassure him that if he ends up a girl, it might not be the end of the world. It certainly is the beginning of a whole new one for me.