Stuck in a Rut.
By Rosalie Redd

Casey Church is a normal 13 year old girl, full of hopes and dreams and fears and anxieties. But in a world where there hasn’t been a girl born in over a century, what is normal?

Chapter 24.

Luna sat on top of her sleeping bag, looking at each of us. “I’m so happy! I’ve never had an actual sleep over before. What do people do at these things?”, she queried.

I looked over at Janie and shrugged. “We used to do this on occasion when we were both boys, but that was when we were younger. Mostly it consisted of us staying up waaay too late, watching sci-fi and action movies, and playing with action figures and transformers.”, I said.

Jannie laughed. “I don’t think we can exactly do the old things. There must be something we could do, like painting nails and braiding hair and stuff?”, she said somewhat confused.

I looked at Luna, who shrugged. Janie walked over to my radio, and turned it on, keeping the volume down. She heard the opening movement of Beethoven’s Fourth Symphony, and frowned. “Don’t you listen to anything from people that are, you know…. Not dead?”, she inquired.

I frowned and got a little defensive. “I like classical music, so what?”, I said a little louder than I perhaps should have. “And so does DeShaun, by the way… um, though I liked it before I knew him.” I perhaps shouldn’t have said that last part.

Janie turned the station to the local pop station. There was a song playing by someone named Christopher Aguilera. Too sugary and pop for me.

We compromised and found an oldies station playing Some Motown, and music from the 70’s and 80’s.

Luna sat a bit away, and observed. I noticed that was her standard mode, to blend into the background and disappear. That she could pull it off in her goth dresses and outfits was even more amazing.

“So, how about some games?”, I asked. I saw Janie roll her eyes.

“Not video games. That’s too boyish.”, she said, annoyed. I didn’t know what was up with her tonight, she seemed particularly snarky and irritable. I knew she wasn’t on her period, since she hadn’t had her last one all that long ago.

“N..no, I mean like party games.”, I said defensively.

Luna perked up and smiled. “Ooh, how about ‘never ever have I ever’, that one is fun… or so I hear.”, she said.

Janie looked at her. “How do you play it? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it.”, she asked.

Luna responded. “From what I’ve heard, it’s normally a drinking game. But we could change it up a little.”

With that, she stood up and went over to her pack, and pulled out a large bag of M&Ms. She quickly counted them, and then got out another. After she finished, we each had roughly 50 pieces of candy each in front of us.

“I’ll go first. I’ll ask a question, and if it’s something you’ve never done, you throw a candy into the center pile. Oh, we need a bowl or something.”, she said. I started to get up slowly. Having been on my feet all day, I was sore. My growing pains certainly didn’t help.

Janie must have seen that I was in discomfort, because she got up. “I’ll go get one, I know where they are.”

She quickly returned with a large bowl and placed it on the floor. We all three formed a triangle around it.

“Everyone ready?”, Luna asked. After Janie and I nodded our replies, we began.

“Okay, first one. Never ever have I ever… drank a beer.”, she said.

I watched, a little shocked, as Janie dropped a candy in the bowl.

“What?”, she said looking at me. “Uncle Luther gave me one once, when he and Dad took me up north to go fishing.

Luna looked at Janie. “Since you dropped a candy, you go next.”, she stated.

Janie grinned. “Never ever have I ever had lesbian sex.”, she said.

We both looked at Luna as she dropped a candy in the bowl.

She began to cry. “Once, when I interfered with her plans to hurt someone’s dog, Marcia took me down into her basement, and tied me up and began to… do things. I couldn’t stop her. She violated me, and I couldn’t do anything. And the worst part of all is that a part of me liked it. The not being in control, the domination. I… I….”

Luna broke into tears and Janie and I rushed over and both of us just held her, each of us giving her a kiss on the cheek. She sniffled a but, and then moaned silently.

“I… I need to use the bathroom really quick.”, she said, as we let her go. She got up and scampered to the restroom.

She came back a few minutes later, her tears finished. If anything, she was blushing a little.

I looked at her, and pondered that fact.

Janie spoke up. “How about we stop the game for now, at least and just talk some?”

Luna and I both heartily agreed.

Luna asked the first question. “How long have you two known each other?”

Janie jumped in right away to answer. “We have been friends since we were in what? Third Grade?”

I nodded. “Yeah, about that long. Though we weren’t as close as we are now. More like casual buddies that hung out and played sports and games and stuff. It wasn’t until school started this fall that we connected more.”

Janie picked it up from there. “When I came here, I was kind of depressed and sad. I had just finished my transition over the summer, and my old buds didn’t know how to relate to me. Plus my rut had been … problematic, so I kind of shied away from guys, but then I ran into Casey. We reconnected, and hit it off right away.”

Luna looked at us both. “Problematic?”, she asked.

Janie was rubbing her arms nervously, and looking down, and towards me. I tilted my head, and she nodded slightly.

Picking up on her signal, I explained. “Janie’s rut was actually a rape. She had been chased down by a bully we both knew, and he forced himself on her.”

Luna bit her lip, and this time she was the one hugging Janie. Janie smiled and kissed her on the cheek.

“Anyhow”, I continued. “I treated her like my friend, I didn’t shy away or act awkward. I was just there for her.”

Janie smiled, and looked at me, blushing. “And I appreciate it.”, she said.

Luna nodded. “And how long after that did you two have sex?”

We both looked at her stunned. She explained. “I’m a watcher. I pick up on things. I’ve seen the looks between you. The blushes, the hand-holding, the affection. It’s not hard to notice, if you are looking for it.”, she said in explanation.

We both sighed and nodded. I let Janie pick it up from here. “Well, whereas I was r… raped, Casey had it just as tough. DeShaun didn’t force himself on her, but at the same time, her shock and confusion and horniness left her unable to tell DeShaun that she didn’t want to be rutted. So because of that, We have this beautiful girl here in front of us. I was grateful to her, and I knew I loved her. So One day when I knew my parents were going to be gone, I called and asked her over. She was still more or less male, and we spent the entire afternoon exploring each other.”

She finished and leaned over and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips. Luna fanned herself, having turned bright red. It showed against her pale complexion.

I smiled and maneuvered around behind Janie, wrapping her in a hug, from behind, my arms just underneath her breasts.

Janie leaned back against me. “So, what about you?”, she said as she nuzzled backwards against me.

Luna cleared her throat, and dipped her hand into the now-full bowl of M&Ms, taking out a handful.

“I met Anthony while I was dealing with Marc. He was a neighbor of his, and his dad worked for Marc’s mother. He stopped me one day as I was walking to her place and tried to warn me about him. I thanked him, and headed off to Marc’s house. Every time I went over to Marc’s, I ran into Anthony on the way. Eventually, I explained the situation to Anthony, about how Marc was protecting me. He was dubious about it, I guess, and he kept an eye on me. One day we ran into each other as I was once again on my way there. Marc hadn’t been expecting me, and wasn’t at home.”

Luna stopped and downed a couple candies before continuing. “Anthony waved me over, and invited me in. I was about to say no, and head back home, when I must have caught scent of him, and he of me. Because that was when he pulled me into the house and we began to make out passionately.”

Luna blushed and stopped for a second to compose herself. “I’ve told you before that I was resigned to the fact that I would eventually become a girl, so I let Anthony have his way with me. I figured that I would just be a conquest, and he’d forget about me, and I him. But after that, I made excuses to stop in to see him. We went out a few times, and I confessed some… embarrassing secrets to him. He didn’t judge me. He told me he loved me. I planned on giving my virginity to him when I finished up my transition, but Marc had seen us together, and had asked his mother to Send Anthony’s dad away. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time.”

Janie saw that Luna was getting rather down, so she did what I would have done, she distracted her.

“Secrets?”, she asked. “Ooh! tell us! Please?” She made these puppy dog eyes, and I would have confessed to just about anything, if they had been pointed at me.

Luna, it seems, was not immune. She mumbled. “Okay… but… it’s kind of embarrassing. I… I like to be submissive. I don’t mean how I was with Marcia. I like … I like… to be pampered and I...I want to.. . be told what to do.”

She cringed, afraid of how it might have seemed. Janie, however, smiled and spoke next. “Well Casey, it appears as though we have a new pet.”

Luna blinked, and stared at her, uncomprehending.

I looked over at her, and motioned for her to come over. In as sexy a voice as I could manage (which wasn’t very, since my voice was cracking due to my vocal chords changing), I whispered. “Come here, little Luna Kitty, so that we may pet you and play with you.”

She sheepishly blushed and then said “Meow”, and crawled over. We both sat behind her. Janie in my lap, and Luna resting her head in Janie’s lap. We both petted her and rubbed her back and ran her fingers through her hair. Luna sighed contentedly and drifted off to sleep.

Janie gently extricated herself from her entanglement, and we both put Luna in her sleeping bag. It wasn’t hard, not with how light it was. Then Janie got into her bag. I seized the opportunity and did the unexpected. I climbed into it with her, pressing against her back. I gently rubbed her breasts and kissed the back of her neck, waiting till she too was asleep. I lay there for a while, softly kissing that sexy neck, before I too ultimately drifted off. I thought about how lucky I was to have her. Then my thoughts drifted down the hall to DeShaun, and my uncertainty returned.

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