---

Image Credit: Picture purchased and licensed for use from

123rf.com. The model(s) in this image are in / and are in no way connected with this story nor supports nor conveys the issues and situations brought up within the story. The model(s) use is solely used for the representation of looks of the main character(s) of this particular story. ~Sephrena

---

 
 
Chapter 3
 
I slept well and woke up before 7:00 a.m. I didn’t know what kind of exercises girls do but decided today was a girl day and I would be learning. I knew Bridgette might be exercising so I pulled on some shorts, a top, and cross-trainers and went to check out her exercise room. Luckily as Mom was still there.

Mom was happy to see me there without making a big fuss as she knew I needed the exercise. She suggested some stretches and then asked what I wanted to do. I decided to use the treadmill as I did not yet know where in the neighborhood was safe to run. Mom reminded me she had gotten me a set of special breast forms as well as a sports bra.

“Mom, I’m not planning to work out a lot; wouldn’t it be okay if I did it just like this today?” Mom smiled and murmured about me learning, as she left the room. I felt I won that decision. Fifteen minutes into my 30-minute program on the treadmill, I learned a lesson. Though they were not real breasts and they're hurting my chest holding them. I was only able to withstand another five minutes of running.

I was cooling down when Mom popped her head in, “How goes your exercisesing?”

“You knew I should have listened to you, didn’t you?” She stopped in and congratulated me for working out and did not rub my nose in my mistake. I asked, “Would it be okay if I took off my breast forms until we go to the dentist?”

Mom responded, “I don’t think so, it would look gross for a girl to walk around without her breasts. I can’t do it. Sometimes, when you develop your breasts and they hurt, taking them off won’t be an option. Suck it up little boy and be a girl about it.” I knew she was proud of saying that. “Maybe that will make you change your mind about that surgery.”

“It teaches me something, but it just reinforces there's a lot to learn to become a girl.” I tried to hug Mom with my sweaty body. I thought it was a neat guy thing to do to get back at her.

She stepped back turned me around and gave me a smack on the butt, “Go take a shower, and quit trying to get even.” The shower felt good, even my sore chest felt a little better. I looked at my breasts with some wonder if I'd get used to them.

I picked out a nice pink bra and panty set and after I was dressed, I realized my bra showed through the blouse. I stepped back and took a second look. Instead of changing, I went down to the kitchen to ask Mom’s opinion.

Mom and Steffi were there when I asked about my bra showing through. Mom did something I disliked and answered my question with a question. “Ashley, what is your thought on how you are dressed?”

“I think it looks cute and it isn’t inappropriate. But the street rat in me doesn’t want to give the wrong impression.”

Mom smiled, “I agree with you that it is appropriate, but I am a little surprised you are willing to show your feminine side like that. I don’t want you to go out and be embarrassed.” Mom poured me some juice and tea and handed me a bowl of cereal. “You are looking more feminine every day. Your hips have already begun to fill out."

I enjoyed listening to Mom and Steffi’s conversation. It was like being in a girls’ locker room. I knew part of the conversation would not have been shared if I had been there as Jack. I was like a younger girl listening to learn from the bigger girls I admired. I felt good about my nipples budding and my breasts beginning to grow. My hair was long and had natural curls and waves to it. A texture and sheen came into my hair the longer I took better care of it. I liked brunettes before and I enjoy being a brunette even more.

I enjoyed getting ready for the day. I brushed my hair two different ways before deciding which look I wanted today. The same with my makeup not liking the first combination I tried. I redid it twice. I looked at my nails and decided it was time to take off the old and put on a new coat, but what color? I hoped I would get more girl sense so I did not take so much time.

With the clothes I was wearing and the makeup I had on, I found a nice rich plum color. I had both the nail polish and matching lipstick of the shade and color I wanted. ‘Thanks, Aunt Cathy.’

I went to Mom’s office where she was working. Here I was fourteen having a crush on my Mom as her little girl. I was proud of my Mommy. I had my reading book and I decided to sit and read where I could look up and see her.

Mom stopped, looked, and then asked what I was doing. I replied, “Since I am fourteen I thought I would just sit and read. If I had a piece of paper and colors I would draw and color you a picture to show how proud I am of my Mommy.

Mom opened up a drawer of her desk pulled out some crayons, took a sheet of paper from her copier, and handed them to me. With only the slightest pause, I plopped down on the floor like a little girl working on my first picture. I drew and colored one of her at her desk. The other was a picture of us outside playing on a bright sunny day.

I showed the pictures to her as she finished her work just after 10:00. The one of her at the desk she kept in her office under a clear mat on her desk and the other went to her bedroom. Mom changed and freshened up her makeup and looked sharp. She wore a flattering sundress that complimented our appearance together.

“You enjoy helping me to feel good about being a girl don’t you?” I asked.

“I’m not usually going out of my way to do it, but yes, I do enjoy it. Now let’s get going and have your teeth and smile checked.” It was a short walk to the subway and over to our, dentist. We passed one of my alternative routes to my old nest underground. I shared that with Mom when we got to the dentist. Mom asked if I would show it to her after our appointment.

I agreed to consider it, but the focus, for now, was our appointment. “Don’t the two of you look good together,” commented Sara the receptionist.

“I’ll reserve my judgment about being here,” I said. We waited a few minutes before the dental hygienist called me back. She was friendly as well as professional and helped me to relax. I shared, “I’ve been a runaway on the streets and it’s been at least five years since my last dental check.”

“Ashley, I’m Jenna and I am going to give you a quick check, then the dentist will check for cavities and other possibilities and I suspect I will be back to give you a thorough cleaning. I hope you are not overwhelmed, but I do want you to speak up. Please, let me know how you are as you go through all of this.”

I looked up and she knew I was nervous. I apologized and Jenna patted my hand. “Relax, for all you have been through I think you are doing well. We’re happy that you are here.” It wasn’t fun having her work her way through my mouth however it was more uncomfortable than painful.

D.D.S. Johnson, the dentist, came in and my mom was called back in as he inspected camera pictures before and after. He found four, no five cavities, the last one just beginning. One of the cavities also had chipped and cracked. He suspected an infection so he decided an x-ray was needed to know the full situation.

“Ashley and Bridgette, Ashley’s teeth have suffered from her being on the streets and her bad nutrition; there may be a need for some caps and other work down the road. I am prescribing a special rinsing mouthwash to be used at least for the next month. It should both attack any unusual bacteria and germs as well as give her teeth and gums a healthy environment to become well.”

Jenna will give Ashley a thorough cleaning, including the removal of the plaque build-up along with a whitening treatment. Then I will be back and we will go after two of the cavities and the one with the crack. I can numb your whole mouth now or wait and just do the teeth with the cavities,” he said.

I opted for shots for just the two teeth, but I asked for headphones to listen to music as she worked. Jokingly Jenna said, “If you try to sing I will need to take the music away.” It became a long appointment with the cleaning. It got fairly uncomfortable and as I was saying “Enough!” Jenna had me sitting up and rinsing my mouth.

She had me use a mouthwash that showed areas needing more attention. Ten minutes later I was done with the cleaning and ready for Dr. Johnson. He gave me two shots and time for them to take effect. He even took an added effort to match the filling enamel to my teeth. I complained, “Are you doing that just to gouge my mom’s bill?”

“Most girls,” he smirked, “get upset if I don’t match them well enough.” I cooled my jets. I already got a glimpse of my whiter teeth and was now realizing that I had been smiling without showing my teeth. I knew as nice as part of me looked attractive, my teeth weren’t pretty.

As Dr. Johnson finished up, I realized my lips were numb and felt swollen and fat. “Mom, I can’t leave like this. I can’t talk right and I probably look a fright.”

Dr. Johnson with Jenna’s help got me to look at my teeth to see how much better they looked. They had just taken another set of pictures of my teeth. They looked like before and after the advertisement. Yes, my lips were numb and unresponsive and I wasn’t looking or feeling my best. But that would be going away. However, my teeth were whiter and would be staying that way. When I felt better, I could now smile and show my teeth. Dr. Johnson even took care of the new little would-be cavity, so I only had two more cavities to have taken care of.

On my way out, after Jenna helped me clean up, she gave me a pep talk. I was passing by Dr. Johnson and I gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Dr. Johnson, you gave me something to smile about.”

“I thought you said I was gouging your Mom making extra money at your expense,” he said.

“You don’t have much of a sense of humor to know when a girl is only joking,” I responded.

Mom took me by the hand telling me, “Enough with the cute girly stuff, you are getting more dangerous every day. Maybe being a girl isn’t such a good idea.” She looked out to the side; I saw a smirk and knew she was having fun with me.

“Who’s teasing now?” I asked. Mom took me home, and on the way, I showed her one of the doorways to my hole-in-the-wall home.

Then she went to a local market for some fresh vegetables to make me some homemade soup. She gave me a recipe for bread and an apron. She guided me through the process of making my first loaf of homemade bread. It is funny as I am having to develop a taste for natural and homemade food. I knew I was raised with it, but I had become used to the abundance of salt and sugar vendors use. More often than not, I picked garbage cans for edible food.

Back then a special meal had become McD's, hot dogs from a corner vendor or something left behind.

Mom had me make a double recipe of bread with the second loaf having more time for the leaven to work its way through. Where the one was ready to eat come 4:00, the second loaf didn’t go into the oven until 6:00 p.m. And while I was baking the first loaf, Mom called Cathy and asked her to bring a bottle of wine. Mom and I sliced some cheese.

When Cathy arrived, we were preparing the table, and Cathy kept asking what was different. Consistently she would turn back and look at me. “Something is different damn it! What is it?” I was grinning with a wide smile as Mom teased Cathy about being a better aunt. Finally, we placed in front of her, the before and after teeth pictures. “Wow, young lady. I would have thought I would have noticed your teeth being like that. You weren’t smiling with showing your teeth before were you?”

I confessed, “I didn’t realize it either. I guess I do remember around twelve people noticing. After that, I kept my mouth shut when I smiled.” So many things I learned as a street rat. I remembered an exhibit in Central Park and someone trying to say how nice the rats were. I told people to look at the teeth of the street rats. The rat had been sprayed down and washed, but the teeth of a street rat were stained and ugly. They grossed out most children, especially girls and women.

We put aside the conversation and it was at least 15-20 minutes before we started into our soup supper. I got into our time with the candlelight, soup, cheese, and bread. They had wine which I am sure made it just a bit nicer, but Mom said no.

Mom told me Cathy was staying over and they were going out the following night. Mom wanted to know if I felt safe staying home alone. “Since I don’t have any personal friends yet going out is not an option and neither is running away or going back looking like this.” I teared up and Mom asked what was up and I said, “I’ll tell you when you tuck me in tonight.”

I took an even greater interest in caring for my skin and self with the sparkle of my whiter teeth. Dr. Johnson said I wasn’t out of the woods for my teeth to develop problems. He thought I would do well if I took good care of them.

I was up reading a new book “If I Should Stay” when Mom came in. First, she asked about the book. “It wasn’t on my must-read list a month ago, but it’s a good book if one gets into it and I have. I can relate to it some with my past.” I didn’t mention that deep down it was disturbing me.

Mom sat on the bed and took my hand, “So what were the tearful eyes about?”

“Mom, you know you’re good at that don’t you,” I told her.

“Good at what?” she asked. I seriously think she was asking.

“Being a Mom, you said you were scared or worried about the responsibility. But you’re good at looking after me; you get me to do things like baking bread and you’re sensitive to me as your daughter. The visit to the dentist kind of made me realize how close I had become to being like an animal. And I was worried about being a girl.”

“I have nightmares, but some are during the day; like when I see other street people, or when images pop in my head. Will, that pass?” Mom hugged me and as she held me, she comforted me.

“If we need to we will get help; Ashley you won’t be alone in this. I hope you know I am here for you,” Mom said with tears as she kissed my head.

“I not only know Mom, but I can also feel your love. I am lucky to have you. ...Don’t you need to get with Cathy?”

“What do you mean by that young lady?”

“Mom, you know what I mean. If you aren’t going to spend some time together, what’s the point? I’m not naive,” I said.

It was about 3:00 a.m. and Mom was again holding me and Cathy was trying to comfort me too. I guess I had a nightmare and they came into my room. I had a dream that I was Jack back in my hole and I saw my teeth in a broken piece of mirror, and they looked like rats' teeth. I looked at my fingers and my nails looked like rats' claws. I opened my eyes and I was crying, even though I knew I was safe and not Jack.

It took a while for me to relax and catch my breath, and even longer to become calm. Mom was going to lay with me and Cathy was going to sleep on the floor. I took my comforter and pillow and went to Mom’s room and I laid down on the floor. They were down with me on the floor helping me not to be afraid.

I was interested in Mom and Cathy but I relaxed and let myself fall to sleep. I woke at 8:00 a.m., Mom was dressed and Cathy was dressing. I felt a little uncomfortable until Cathy pushed me into Mom’s bathroom to take a shower. I dried off and used Mom’s robe to go back to my room.

It was a good day, so Mom suggested we pack and go upstate for the weekend. We went up to Newburgh and Storm King State Park. Mom guessed right that I hadn’t much experience with nature. We were upstate to Newburgh and checked in a resort hotel before noon. We changed into jeans and went down to the river. Mom rented a nice motorboat and with a cooler of food and drinks, we were on our way down the river to the Storm King State Park.

We were a ways from West Point but as we got closer to the state park a few we passed were West Pointers. While the scenery was beautiful, I felt engulfed by nature, and seeing guys as a girl was new to me. The boy part made me feel strange in disturbing ways.

I hadn’t noticed before but there were some skis inside the boat. When Mom stopped the boat, Cathy had her hair tied back, she took the skis to the back of the boat and put them on. Mom opened a compartment, pulled out a long rope tied one end to the boat, and threw out the other.

Cathy was in the water and pulling the rope until she got the handle end. Then some guys pulled up close in another boat and one asked, “Do you pretty girls need some help?”

Mom said, “No, but you can stay here and watch if you want.” She gently powered the boat forward, taking up the slack. When Cathy waved, Mom powered the boat picking up speed as Cathy came up. Mom took Cathy skiing about five minutes across the lake as we moved down the river. I think the guys thought we were coming back.

Mom stopped the boat, stripped down to her swimsuit tied back her hair, and changed positions with Cathy. Mom was also a good skier and the last time we approached a shore, Mom let go of the rope and all but made it to land.

I pulled the rope back in as Cathy docked the boat. Mom tied up one end and Cathy tied off the other. I handed Mom the cooler before I got out. Cathy had a day bag of stuff and we made it over to a picnic table. Mom and Cathy put on some cut-offs and tops, and we all sprayed ourselves with repellent. Then we ate lunch and we rehydrated ourselves. We went for a hike sometimes staying on paved or wood chip paths and sometimes we took a shortcut over rocks and woods to catch the trail at another point.

My male ego was hitting a new low as I looked watching Bridgette. Not only was she pretty and intelligent but she was also in better physical shape than I was. I had thought as a street person I was tough and in good shape. I used to run for blocks when I was being chased. The most was ten blocks though it often included going up flights of steps or down three levels underground.

We had now been hiking for a good hour, taking time to look at deer tracks and see various animals and birds. The scenery itself was beautiful and as we rose over the river valley it got amazingly more beautiful. Bridgette would come over and give me a hug when I discovered something new. She knew I was delighted with what I saw. Cathy was collecting what she called Kodak moments.

It was when we saw a black bear cub down the trail that we all thought it was time to turn back. It was a cute thing to see, but they knew we did not want to see the mother bear in the wild. We went back down the trail until it would have turned back. We found it fun but challenging to make our way down a level or two. I usually followed down after Cathy or Mom as I was more apt to keep my balance and dignity that way.

Mom once had us off a trail to find another trail which she said would be shorter. Just when I was sure we were lost; it became evident we finally reached the other trail. It included a thirty-foot section where an underground spring surfaced and went down a smooth rock surface. She made me get on the rock with my socks and butt to glide down. It was cool and fun but left me with a wet pair of pants and panties that soon became uncomfortable.

“That was for not wearing your swimsuit under your clothes,” she laughed. We made it down to our table and were packing our stuff to leave. Another camper came over and we got into a discussion. The next thing I knew, Mom called me over as she reached into the day bag and pulled out my suit.

“Ashley, this is Mrs. Hampton and she has permitted you to change for our boat trip back to Newburgh. Please go to their trainer and be back quickly and make sure to be courteous please.” Mrs. Hampton, older than Bridgette, took me over to their large RV trailer with several wideouts.

“My girls probably would be willing, but just in case I will just have you change in my bedroom in the back. Please make sure you don’t leave the things you are changing out of and let me check before you go back.”

I didn’t have any comparison except it was the largest and newest trailer I had seen. The three children reminded me of those coming out of the best hotels, except these were friendlier. I got changed and one daughter and Mrs. Hampton walked with me down to the boat. Katherine, the daughter saw that I was going to be water skiing and asked if she could ski as well. She did not have a swimsuit on but shorts and a top that could make due. Though, they were a bit nice to be doing as such.

Mom and Cathy looked and consulted with me if it would be alright. We were going to take her out but Mrs. Hampton wanted Raleigh to do it. Seemingly he was their driver and helper in many things. Mom said, “It would be better for us if she and Ashley took turns and shared being together. If you want Raleigh, Ashley can ski as we head back.”

Mrs. Hampton gave in and while we used their boat, it was Mom who drove the boat and Raleigh who gave the instructions. Katherine went first and she had told me what to look for as she skied. She was up on her second try and did well.

When I tried I failed three times straight and was ready to give up. Katherine encouraged me to keep trying until I was skiing. I made it 30 seconds the fourth time and stayed up the fifth time. Katherine was as giddy as I was, I appreciated that. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a friend. Katherine seemed to know something as we exchanged addresses, phone numbers, Facebook, and email. Raleigh said he made an exception to the rules for me, whatever that meant.

We were on there another good hour before we went back and almost another hour before we headed upriver to Newburgh. I was impatient until Katherine took me aside to visit. She asked me if I was interested in going to a prep school or coming overnight. We agreed to the latter sometimes.

Katherine told me that they knew Bridgette and she was known to come over. "Bridgette is a business friend of our dad. 'My Dad credits her with making him a better father. Somehow she helped him in the family business. The Dad was like the black sheep. It wasn't that he didn’t want to be part of ‘The Hamptons’ but he did want more respect. I think he got that with Bridgette's help and he’s more happy and loving to us.”

Back on the river, I asked, “What river is this anyway?” When Mom told me it was the Hudson River I cringed because the City was so badly polluted. “No way, you would have us skiing and swimming in the Hudson River? Yuck!”

Cathy explained, “Being up the river the City the pollution isn’t anywhere near the same. Remember coming down the river you did not experience polluted water. We were out on the river and Bridgette asked me to get out and enjoy skiing some more. It was nice as I was up on the first try and while I didn’t do big turns I enjoyed skiing. Going against the current wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.

Some West Pointers were on the river and they came with one skiing over to me. He said something and I fell into the water. I guess I played into his ego. I guess he asked me to let go so we could meet.

He too let go and did a better job in getting out of his skis. He had me in his arms and I can’t say I felt bad in his arms. The nice part about having breast forms I could only feel his touches on nice areas. Our boat was soon around and Mom told him he should mind how he treats a fourteen-year-old teenager.

He helped me out of my skis and helped me to the boat. He apologized but shared he was the younger brother of one of the cadets and was only seventeen himself. I was still next to him and asked, "What would you say if I jumped you? He did not respond so I latched on to him and gave him a big kiss.

I was soon into our boat and on our way back to Newburgh. “Mom, when we were around those guys, their eyes kept going to you two. What is a girl supposed to do when she isn’t as pretty or gifted as those around her?”

“Ashley, I thought you weren’t a real girl; so why questions like these,” she giggled. “One thing every woman needs to learn if she is going to be at peace with herself is… There will always be someone better looking or who does not measure up according to someone else’s standards. You need to find peace with yourself.” Cathy took over driving the boat as Mom continued to visit with me.

“Ashley, do you know what The Bem Inventory is? I encouraged one of your counselors to give it to you as well as Officer Rog and your counselor to fill it out in regards to how they saw you. All three results saw you as a very mature person who has the characteristics of being male and female. The short time we already have had together indicates you are indeed quite capable and are a feeling person.”

“I share this because while becoming a young woman may not be the easiest journey; I think it suits you well. Your mixture of thoughts, feelings, and experiences in growing into who you are is comforting to me.” I interrupted Bridgette.

“Did you already know about me following you or me being a street person?” I asked. She acknowledged yes, she did. “Which did you know?”

“Both and more, when we literally ran into each other at Fordham and briefly talked. ...Officer Roger and I know each other. Besides knowing you were following me as a lovable street rat, I also knew you were lost in the system. You were destined to get hurt, die on the streets, or like a rat carcass be found in your hole…”

That was pretty crass for Bridgette, but I knew she felt it needed to be said. “Over time I came to care about you and it hurt to think about what might happen. If you didn’t take my offer I would have found someone to advocate for you.”

“What made you think you could help me to be a healthy girl? Pardon me but you don’t look like a young Dr. Frankenstein.” She and Cathy both laughed as I said it.

“It is a bit of what I do and what I am studying for. I can’t see you as a patient or client, but I can accept you as my foster daughter. If I helped you I wanted you to walk away to nothing, nor did I want to let go. Ethically I can’t be your parent and your counselor.”

“But as a parent, you can guide my growth.”

Bridgette emotionally broke, “I was just to be your guardian, I didn’t intend to come to love you as a Mom. I was pretty sure before that might ever become an issue; I would have found a good home for you.” Cathy brought the boat to a halt and dropped the anchor. She wanted to be there for us.

I scooted next to Cathy and put my head on her shoulder and she wrapped an arm around me. “Aunt Cathy” … my voice was choking with emotion. “Am I lucky or stupid to trust her?”

Her two arms hugged me “You are very special and not at all stupid; I don’t even like that word… I have known Bridgette for over 5 years. I never expected to see someone find their way into her heart as she has taken you.”

I sank to the floor of the boat on my knees and placed my head in Bridgette’s lap. “And she did something harder. She found her way into my heart. I like people but I never thought I would trust or love one. I so much want to be your daughter, but I am still afraid that I am hoping for too much.”

Several boaters called over asking if things were alright, but now it was out of sincere interest for us. We started back for shore and got to our hotel. It was on the side of a hill with a nice overlook of the river.

I took a shower to get dressed for dinner, I still wondered how hard I needed to clean myself having been in the Hudson River. As the sun was still up I noticed how much bluer the sky was. I checked on Bridgette and Cathy to see how they were dressing for the evening. I determined the red miniskirt and the embroidered cotton top would serve me well.

It was a very nice restaurant we went to. A very nice family night spot even with teenagers with two adults of the same sex was part of the primary clientele. I could see that off from the main eating area there was a dance area with a band setting up. Cathy was hooked onto Bridgette’s arm as we were escorted to our table. The hostess knew both Bridgette and Cathy by name and did her best to learn mine by the time we were seated.

She agreed to order Mom and Cathy’s drinks and told me they had a non-alcoholic drink that was ordered for me. Salads were soon brought with the drinks. I ordered the cordon blue on a bed of wild rice with asparagus. Mom was impressed, while I saw it as a simple chicken dish with a vegetable that was priced high.
.
The white grape juice fizzed in my face and was sweet, I wanted more but knew it was expensive. When the waitress asked if I wanted another glass, I asked if it cost extra. The waitress had a hard time keeping a straight face at my question. I remembered one of the guys underground, Cody, who said: “The rich enjoyed others showing how ignorant we are.” Suddenly I felt nervous and got up and left the table and went outside the restaurant.

Bridgette was there shortly, I was near the car hoping she would let me sit and stay inside. “Ashley, what happened?” I apologized to Mom about ordering the asparagus because it was an expensive vegetable and then worrying about ordering the second drink if it cost extra. Mom didn’t laugh at me. “You know I have enough money and wouldn’t mind, didn’t you? This must be very unreal for you.”

“Mom I feel stupid, knowing I don’t belong here.”

“Honey, Cathy shared that she didn’t like the word ‘stupid’ and neither do I. I think it holds the power of an image wrongly placed on someone by others. Words like ‘stupid and dummy’ often do more harm than curse words; they tend to rob a person of dignity. Please respect yourself and value my love as being more important and stop it from robbing you.”

“Mom, am I going to grow out of being scared and crying like a little girl who needs a hug?”

“Yes, but hopefully there will be a time when you don’t worry if you are moved to tears. Did Jack, ever want to cry?”

“Yes, but even when I felt safe in my hole I usually was too scared to cry. It’s not safe for a guy to show he's weak: he’s going to be beaten, robbed, and left in the gutter.” I was shaking as Mom took hold of me until the fear subsided.

“Come, young lady, let’s go to the lady’s room and repair some stuff.” I didn’t have my purse so Mom called Cathy to bring it to the restroom. Guys would mind doing that if they were asked. I went to the toilet and when I came out I repaired my face.

A girl next to me commented, “You’re pretty, but even better you have someone who cares about you.” I smiled and thanked her. We both smiled as we closed our makeup kits and took our purses.

My glass was there full but my plate was gone. I ordered a piece of apple pie ala-mode. Cathy asked, “Is it okay if we stay for a while so Bridgette and I can dance.”

I jokingly asked, “Are you dancing with each other, or are you going to dance with others?”

“Possibly both, but I want to dance with Bridgette.” A smirk went off my face as I thought I had them, all figured out.

Once during the night, two guys came over asking Mom and Cathy for a dance, but Mom asked them to go over to the dance floor ahead of them. Cathy asked two other guys to go over and dance with them. The second two must have been persuasive as the other men danced with them before leaving for the night.

I saw the girl from the lady’s room and worked up the nerve to ask her to dance while her two adults were dancing. She said, “I don’t usually dance with other girls.” I underscored the word ‘usually” and held out my hand hoping tonight was unusual and it was. Most of our dances were faster, but two were slow, and most of all, allowed us to visit.

Her mom was already a couple with her lover. Cassie said, “It was a big adjustment when I was six.” She told me “My dad has another wife, but once other children came, I didn’t fit into their family except for holidays. My mom, Carol, and I live between here and the City, but they come up here at least once a month. It is LBGT-friendly. I come with them some of the time and I usually enjoy being here.”

“What’s your story?” Cassie asked me. When I said she wouldn’t believe it, she dared me.

I was uncomfortable but finally shared, “I’m a street kid and I am trying to become a real girl.” She led me through our discussion, pulling out more than I thought I would ever share. “There are so many things that come naturally to a girl that I never thought of before I began to live like me.” Cassie smiled as I confessed, “I like my girl parts, but it’s frustrating that they aren’t real or having the feeling. And because of my nutrition on the street, my guy stuff has never started to, ...well you know.”

Cassie played naíve, “I don’t know, what didn’t they do? Do you think I could tease them into starting? …I was just kidding I know I like Ashley, but I’m not sure I would be friends with Jack-of…”

I’m glad I am Ashley but I don’t take too well to people even joking about Jack. Our conversation cooled for a bit but it came back around before I went back with Cathy and Bridgette. The four adults agreed it would be nice to get together for a late breakfast around 9:30 or 10:00.

I hoped to be away from the city I would relax and not have trouble sleeping. My ears are sensitive, and during the night hearing, people in the hall reminded me of hearing noises in the abandoned subway. The good news was I was restless but didn’t have any nightmares or panic attacks.

The next few days passed fast and Wednesday morning we saw Dr. Johnson, not at her office, but at an outpatient surgical center. The reconstruction surgery was scheduled for two weeks. Today my extra tissue would be surgically removed.

I was surprised how much my male parts had changed in just nine days of being on the testosterone blockers and having the gaff. The gaff had to come off Monday night, now my penis did look like flabby tissue.

It didn’t immediately look pretty or girl-like as Dr. Hanson had to leave some tissue and tuck it inside to be used for the reconstructive surgery. The gaff was gone and when I dried my front I could feel it. Nothing sensual though Dr. Hanson and another doctor said the reconstructive surgery would improve that.

They gave me a set of dildos that I needed to use to enhance the elasticity of the opening. I asked, “Why do I need to do this?”

Dr. Hanson asked, “Don’t you want to have natural sex with a man? I know right after surgery or having a baby is not when a woman wants to talk about sex or the thought of a man penetrating her. It is in this case when we need to make sure something is done.” Before I left a nurse helped me use the first two in the set.

I was both impressed and sore. Looking at the larger ones in the set brought both mental anguish now and anticipation for the future. Dr. Hannson walked by and saw my smile, and teasingly said, “That seems to bring you some pleasure.” I was a bit embarrassed, but Hannah the nurse said: “If you haven’t learned already, we women have our sense of sick humor.”

Before I could dress Hannah had Bridgette there to see and explain my therapy. It was not easy having my privacy invaded. I suspect it is humbling for most women to see a gynecologist, especially a male doctor. But that was not in my thought or worry. Bridgette held my hand and gave me words of assurance knowing I was experiencing more than she could see. I was also experiencing things she did know and I did not.

I was given a feminine pad pinned with the aid of an elastic belt around my waist. My panty also held it in place. “Welcome another step deeper into a woman’s world.” Luckily it took only another three days to be back to regular activities.

Mom took my boredom and the coming of a school year to get me to practice arithmetic and understanding science. I continued my reading and usually read through one or two books a week depending on how long or difficult they were.

I had learned about the neighborhood and was getting to know quite a few people. Some were naturally warm and open to visiting. Some, who visited with me, did so because they had seen me with Bridgette. They were interested in knowing about her. The nice thing for me was being trusted to walk around and not run away.

My biggest temptation was to find a way back to my hole and find my bank card and other stuff I wanted. Most were probably taken. I knew it was not safe for Ashley to go down there. One of my more nervous times was walking down the block where I had gotten in the fight. Luckily I had met two girls Maria and Joani before I saw any of the guys.

They were both a year younger than me, though Maria would be going to Beacon Hill High School. Collin, one of the guys who had beaten up Jack, was Joani’s older brother. The first time I met him; I felt a mixture of hate and fear. I soon had another conflict as this 6’ guy with blonde hair and green eyes found me attractive.

He was amused by my tongue which had taken most opportunities to put him down. He saw it as me flirting with him and joking to put our conversation into his comfort zone. He had asked me to go with him to a program at Central Park. Bridgette insisted before she agreed to anything, he needed to meet her at the house.

“Collin, you know I heard about that street kid you and others beat up; how is it that I should think my daughter would be safe with you? If she is upset or excited would she be safe? I don’t know how you treat your dates.”

Collin was caught off guard by Mom’s forward approach. He was about ready to speak when she asked him to bring his eyes up and look her in the eyes. “I’m sorry Miss. Riley. Regarding that street punk, he was out of his area and I was concerned for the girls in our neighborhood. You should be impressed with my friends and me being able to take care of ourselves.”

“What if he was part of a gang and they came back to get even with you and your neighborhood? I think your friends and neighbors would have been upset if that happened.” Bridgette was surprised when I spoke up.

“You were one of them who beat up a street person, was he a kid or an old man? I thought I would like to go out with you but now I’m not sure. I’m sorry, while I might not date one, I don’t want them beat up.”

“I’m sorry, but we saw him following your Mom and we thought that was kind of creepy. So we confronted him and a fight broke out. We didn’t mean for it to go so far, I expected he would either go around or break through us and then stay out of the neighborhood.”

“There would be a lot of fights if everyone, including you, got beat up for going out of their way to look at my Mom. It may sound creepy but what if he was just a healthy male? He may have tried to get through you but didn’t make it.”

“No, he didn’t, I tripped him up, Johnny grabbed him and we hit him, but instead of running, he fought back. The police arrested and charged him not us for the fight and the damage done.”

“Mom, I don’t like what they did but I would like to go to Central Park with Collin. I would like to be friends with him, his sister, and Maria.”

Central Park is huge as city parks go and this event included rock groups to the interest of many ages. While I went with Collin, Joani, and others, Mom was a long Frisbee throwaway. We were close to the speakers but Mom’s group was still in a loud area. A group I surprisingly liked was even older than Mom’s bands. Fleetwood Mac was a neat mixture of male and female members many of their top songs had female leads. Christie McVie and Stevie Nicks were both performing with the band which I hear isn’t always the case.

I had fun downloading words to the songs and singing along. Joani and I played off of each other imitating the female leads. Collin was into playing a make-believe guitar and singing background. I was glad that Mom wasn’t too far away. I enjoyed a kiss and even his hand near my blouse once. But my efforts and Mom being a healthy distance away helped to stop it going further.

The first deep kiss and the number of them blew my mind a bit, quite a bit. Yes, I am becoming a girl, but while my mouth and body liked it, my mind said I shouldn’t. My breasts were just starting to mature and grow but they were already very responsive. Collin’s hands finding my nipples and circling told me there was another level to heaven.

We had gotten to Central Park at noon and were there into the evening by mutual agreement of both groups. Mom had her arms around a few guys as well as displays of affection caught me by surprise. She was however usually what she called the top alpha in the group. She took one guy and brushed his long hair and feminized his look, but he was not humiliated; rather he seemed to glow just a bit more.

Collin’s friends Johnny and Val showed up around three and it created a very anxious time for me/Jack. They were my adversaries in the fight; I took the lead from my Mom and spritzed Collin and Val with my perfume. They didn’t understand but that was okay; it served my purpose. They weren’t terrible guys though Johnny was neither my favorite nor one I warmed up to.

Come evening while we were still there, I laid back against Collin’s chest and in his arms. He nibbled on my neck and I maneuvered my ear into his way. It was very enjoyable. I liked going home, feeling I was not Collin’s girl but I did enjoy him. Mom had influenced me; I was not a guy’s property.

Now the time was for my surgery in the morning, Mom asked, “What do you understand about the surgery.”

“The doctors will create the appearance of my vulva, the hymen, and vagina back to where the cervix and uterus would be. That is if I were a girl and they were there.”

“Good young lady, there will be more pain and discomfort for a while after this surgery. Why do you want the surgery?” she asked.

“I don’t think I will ever be fully ready, but I would like to be considered a girl before I begin school. And I want to be your daughter.”

It was early when Dr. Hanson and Dr. Canfield said goodnight to me as I went under the medication. It would be four hours before I woke. I woke to Mom's smiling face and her saying, “Honey it went very well congratulations.”

I felt the sheet being lifted, the doctor saying, “She is going to look very good; O’ hi young lady, I think you will enjoy being a girl. Everything went well even better than one would imagine.”

Dr. Reid had left before I was fully awake, nor did she explain everything to my Mom. Mom scooted a stuffed animal kitten into my arms. I snuggled her calling her Mittens. I could feel my breast forms were off and my nipples were responsive, “Mommy, I am all girl nat-ur-ale.”

 
 
To Be Continued...