I first ran away from home when I was 10 years old... The first time I ran away, I was caught two weeks later and returned home... The next time I changed my name as I ran away into New York City. I became what we called a street rat; living on and under the streets... Then I had two options: prison or become a girl. I'm now Ashley Phoenix Riley until I followed this woman Bridgette too closely. Ashley Phoenix Riley Chapter 8 On with Life by Jessica C. Copyright © 2013 Jessica C All Rights Reserved.

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I couldn’t remember what I was dreaming about but I do remember this beautiful sensation I was feeling, and as I woke it was still there. Ryta’s hand was lightly touching me, getting me excited. She whispers, “It is time to wake-up sleeping beauty,” as her lips give me a warm kiss. I was enjoying Ryta very much but I decided it wasn’t me.

“Ryta, we need to talk, what you’re doing feels great and I guess I asked for it, but I’ve decided it’s not me.” I continue, “You are one of my best friends and you’ve been here for me, but I am not ready to commit to you; for me, this type of intimacy needs that. I don’t exactly know where I want to stop: being best friends I like along with kissing, hugs, dates and even some petting. I love you but I’m not ready or wanting to commit.”

Ryta’s expression changes, but she isn’t angry like I expect. I had never seen this expression on her as she looks a little scared. She forces a smile and says, ‘That is good if you are serious about being best friends. I'm just trying to please you so we stay together. I don’t want to lose you or your Mom. Romance at our age usually doesn’t last long from what I’ve seen. Best friends can last a lifetime."

She pushes me back down on the bed, got a clean panty and bra and ran for the shower. “I’m the one who really needs the shower thanks to you!” Mom opens the door and asks, “What do you need? I just wanted to check and make sure you were both awake.” As Mom gave me a hug, she didn’t need me to answer her question saying, “So I take it you had a good night.”

“We're having an even better morning, but it is not what you are thinking,” I told Mom. I'm selecting my clothes as Mom sits down to see if I will say anything. “We decided to be best friends instead of girlfriends in love for now.”

Mom hugs and there's a giggle, “I can’t wait until you come home and explain; if this is best friends and not girlfriends; how serious would it be if you were girlfriends?”

I pick up a blouse to go with the skirt I had out, “What do you think?”

Mom says, “It’s not terrible but that print blouse you got this past week would look better." I ask Ryta what she thinks? "I washed it and it should be hanging in your closet.” I look and agree so I get it out and fold the other one and put it back.

Mom gets up to goes out, “Thanks, Mom.” It isn’t for the selection of the blouse, but for not pursuing what had happened.

Ryta cracks the door, “I’m out of the shower.” While I am a little shy at school and don't like to take a shower there. With Ryta, I'm very comfortable, even with her taking a good look. She has a much better body than me so I'm impressed that she likes me. She says, “Do you mind my saying your breasts appear to be fuller?”

I was closing the shower door as I heard her comment. It was interesting getting my body clean as my body is more responsive as I clean my sensitive areas. I wait for Ryta to walk out of the bathroom before I relaxed and make a sound. The door opens back up, “I heard that Ashley.” I start to throw the washcloth at the door and her, but I start to slip. All I achieved is to make Ryta much happier.

I'm out, dried off and getting my clothes on and it is still before 7:00 a.m. Mom has a good breakfast for us. A Belgian waffle thinly covered with whipped cream and berries. Mom offers to give us a ride, but we want the time to talk as we walk to school. While classes start at 8:30, Ryta and I both need to be early for chorus practice. Jana one of our premier singers is missing and we were rehearsing a song she has as a duet in our fall concert.

You could hear a pin drop when Mr. Heard calls me to step forward and to fill her spot. I'm a chorus singer, not a soloist so I am as surprised as much as anyone. There was no questioning Mr. Heard, so I went up next to Leann with my folder. The music begins the chorus came in and then Leann starts and I join her on the second stanza.

It is no surprise that I'm no Jana, but as the song ended Mr. Heard taps his music stand and others applaud as well. I suspect it's mostly for Leann but I'm happy because I knew I had sung better than expected. Mr. Heard comments, “That is the way I want all of you to perform. If you get called on for whatever reason step forward and do your best. Congratulations to Leann as well as Ashley, she also rose to the occasion. ”

Mr. Heard calls me to visit with him after rehearsal. “Ashley, here are two songs I want you to practice for the “Coffeehouse.” Beacon Hill has a refreshment area that is turned to a coffeehouse most Wednesdays and Thursdays evenings after school. They are usually light days for special events and sports. It would be my choice to use pre-recorded music or to ask someone to accompany me. The songs are oldies by Melanie, and I am only glad neither song was “The Brand New Key; Mr. Heard is asking me to sing “Psychotherapy” which was a fun but longer song, and “Ring the Living Bell”. It's new to me; it appears to be the easier of the two songs. Joani checks the songs I'm given and she says they will both be good for the BH Coffeehouse.

Luckily we are always given two to three weeks before we would play the coffeehouse.

I text Mom during lunch about what happened in rehearsal. She is happy for both and uses icons to show how pleased she is about my part in the duet as well as being invited to sing at the Coffee House. I am more concerned about my history test coming up in the second class after lunch.

Mo, Valerie and I were the only three in our study group this morning. Joani tells me during lunch, “I heard that only you three were there, sorry but someone told someone Mo is being watched for cheating and they did not want to get in trouble being with him.”

“Mo’s pretty smart he doesn’t need to cheat,” I tell Joani. What I didn’t tell her was I smelled a rat. I pulled Mo aside, before the next period and told him what I heard. We didn’t have time to talk further. I wouldn’t get to talk to Mo until the last period before Mrs. Briggs class. Mo was the third student to finish and hand in his test.

The teacher asks Mo to empty all his pockets. Mo was doing so when he also looks at another student; he is not very happy. However, a cheat sheet was neither there nor at his desk or in his other books or his backpack.

Come the last period I ask straight out, “Mo what happened?”

“I was set up; seemingly someone wants me kicked off the basketball team. Jared gave a note and told me not to read it until after school.” Mo goes on, “Thanks to your warning and Jared not being at the study group I was suspicious. Jared is not on the team but his Brother Joe and two of Joe’s friends are. I suspect if I made the varsity or even junior varsity team, they’re afraid, one or two of them would not be.”

“That would be a rotten trick but I suspect it's also hard to prove.”

Mo says, “I gave the paper to Principal Hadley as I was told to do if anything suspicious happened. All she said, ‘I can see it is not your handwriting.’ I would rather take care of my own trouble but basketball might be my ticket to a college education. My Mom would be awfully upset if I blew it.”

Class starts and I'm glad that Miss Briggs made it an extra interesting class or I wouldn’t have kept my mind on what she was teaching. Among other things she had us on computers, finding out how many new species of life have been discovered in the past month of this year alone.

There were two soccer games this afternoon the first starting about an hour after school let out. There were several groups of us catching buses or subway trains to the soccer field I would get only to watch the girls’ game as Mom would be picking me up. We were invited to dinner over to one of the homes of a CEO of a corporation Mom worked with. Mom wouldn’t tell me what she did with their corporation.

I need to go home shower and get dressed up. It had been a while since I was nicely dressed so I was looking forward to tonight. I had sneaked into Steffi’s closet and found a nice cocktail dress. It is hot and short enough I knew my Mom would say no if I asked. I decided to take my time, not ask and wait until we were to be leaving. Mom has called me for the past three minutes.

Julio finally calls to me and I knew our ride is here and it's time to leave. Steffi's the first to see me as I ask, “Is it okay to borrow your dress?” Steffi responds, “I suspect until your mother sees you. The next time you don’t ask first the answer is no.” She hands me a wrap for my shoulders, “Thanks, Steffi.”

I turn the corner of the room for the door and Mom finally sees me and then looks at her watch. I came even with her, “Guess who is not going shopping tomorrow or the next day.”

“I’m sorry Mom.”

“Sorry for looking like this, I doubt it,” Mom said. “You are lucky the Richards asked me to bring you or you would be staying home.”

I'm surprised to see Julio in a black coat and tie. He's not only driving us, but he is also acting as Mom’s escort. It is just over twenty miles but the trip takes the better part of fifty minutes. The house alone is over a quarter mile from the gate to the house. Julio complimented my Mom on how well she looks, somehow, however, he knew not to compliment my appearance.

I'm introduced to a Mrs. Allison Richards, Sonya, and two teenage girls Brianna and Allie. Sonya appeared to be the same age as Mrs. Richards. We're fifteen minutes into the dinner before I realize Sonya must be Mr. Richards. There is a son but he's not present for dinner.

Brianna is the first to compliment how I look. “Ashley I thought my parents said you are only fifteen. When I grow up I want to look like you.”

Mom spoke up, “You are right Brianna, she is only fifteen and she borrowed a dress she should not be wearing at this age.” I knew I was in trouble at that point. Mrs. Richards thanks my mother for speaking up.

After dinner, I'm to go off with Brianna and Allie. “You are looking hot Ashley; I don’t understand you look so nice and they got upset with you. I say if you have it flaunt it.”

I knew as soon as Brianna suggested ‘I flaunted it’, I knew I was dressed inappropriately. I remembered when I first saw Bridgette, I thought not only was she beautiful but she had class as she did not seek to show it off or show anyone else up.

Allie asks me, “So what did you think of our dad looking like a woman?” I pause and look at Allie and Brianna. Upon seeing they're eagerly smiling and excitedly waiting for my comment, I spoke, “She looks happy and all of you appeared to be comfortable with her.” I pause as Brianna tells me, "Mommy and I have helped her learn about make-up. I think Mommy usually picks out what she wears.”

Allie butted in, “Daddy used to be mean, but he and Sonya read to me now. Alan would rather have our new Daddy, but he gets sad when he sees Daddy as a woman. Daddy had to promise not to get an operation. But Daddy isn’t even sick, so I don’t understand.”

Brianna smiles at me indicating that she does.

“I think Sonya has helped your dad to be a better person from the sounds of it. I like the outfit she has on.”

“We picked it out and gave it to him for Father’s Day. Mom said it was like Sonya’s first birthday,” Allie commented. I stepped back and thought, ‘I guess that makes July 11th my first birthday.

“If all boys are like my brother or Daddy was, I’m really glad I am a girl, aren’t you,” Bri looks at me?

I'm surprised that the girls were permitted to talk about the feminine side of their Dad. Like she read my mind, Brianna spoke, “Daddy and Mommy don’t allow us to talk about Daddy dressing like Sonya, but they said tonight it would be okay. Mommy told me that you would understand. Does your Daddy dress like a girl?”

“No, my daddy had been abusive,” I confessed. “Since then, Bridgette adopted me as her daughter.”

Allie’s eyes turned sad, “Did he hit you? Daddy was mean to Alan but he only hit Brianna once, I think. He just usually yelled and hit things. We would still get really scared!”

“I learned in a support group some dads get sexual, but the therapist said it was about power and not love.” Brianna almost loses her voice trying to say that.

“My father was physically and verbally abusive…” Allie interrupted and asks Brianna, “What does ‘verb-be-lie’ mean?”

“It is like when Daddy called us stupid or said mean things that he was going to do to us,” Brianna gave Allie a hug and continued to hold and comfort her. Alan had it the worst because he wouldn’t allow us to hug him and he wouldn’t cry.”

“Are you afraid of your father or Sonya anymore,” I ask? I could see there was still some fear. “I use to be,” said Brianna. “Last year he was back home when he got really mad again. Mom told him he needed to get dressed as Sonya or leave. She also called your Mom to come and talk to him. I seldom worry that he will be like that again. But sometimes I cry at night if I think about that night and before.”

Allie picked up the skirt of my dress and looked under. “You are not a boy, are you? Can I see you?”

“No and no,” I said. Then I paused and bent down, “You can touch my breasts once if that would help you.” I'm surprised as both girls did. “Ouch!” Allie pinched one near one nipple.

“I am sorry but I had too.” We all giggled, though I was still sore. “You are pretty. Brianna would be prettier than you if she dressed like that.” Brianna hugs Allie again.

I say, “I agree that you right, she is prettier than I am even now. Brianna, you are smart to look as you do and not pretend. I guess I still feel like I have to prove something sometimes.”

Brianna turns on her computer and she shows me a program where she can dress and change makeup and hairstyles on a picture of herself. She even has a program for Allie and the wardrobe in her closet, where Allie could see how she would look.

It is close to 10:30 p.m. when we were called downstairs for me to leave. They served dessert first, Brianna and I both asked for a half piece of the pie.

Mom had ridden up front with Julio when we came, but she rides in the back with me as we go home. Mom asks about my night, but she did not talk much about their time together. Mom is particularly interested in the conversation about their Dad and Sonya.

Julio says I should go on a date with Alan. “I don’t think so; Mom would have to force me. It would be to close; I don’t think I could handle it.” I looked at Mom to see if she had the same idea as Julio.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t ask you and I don’t think it would be wise.”

“Mom, I did realize that I dressed inappropriately.”

“There will be a time and place for you to dress like this, but it is a long way into the future young lady. I will leave it at that for tonight.” I thought Mom would use that moment to make me feel bad and to get her point across. When she didn’t, I understood that was the difference between her and me.

I was tired and leaned against Mom. She stroked my hair and touched my cheek. “You know I am very proud to be your mother? You are a very attractive young woman in more ways than one.” My eyes teared and I guess one tear hit her fingers. “Oh did I find softness in that image of yours?”

“Do you think I am hard?" I sit up and look at her.

“I think sometimes you are hard on yourself and feel like you need to prove you are a woman, yes. …I think Jack’s need to close himself off from others is still there. Sometimes you even shut me out when it would be wiser to talk with me.”

I begin to cry, “Mommy, it is not easy to be your daughter. I will never be as pretty or as smart as you.”

“Ashley that's an excuse you hide behind. It is about the image you have of yourself.”

I thought and I somehow knew, “Mommy I am afraid to let Ashley be a little girl. I want to have dolls and play like a little girl. Remember when I drew a picture on the floor when you were working. That felt good, but I knew I was just being silly.”

“It makes sense Ashley that it would be hard to grow up without first being a young girl.” She nestles me to her bosom, “We could shop for some little girl stuff if you want. Feel free to come and play on the floor or to ask me to read to you.”

I'm pretty sleepy by the time we got back home and Julio asks, “Would you like me to carry her up to the house?”

“I think it might be inappropriate for you to carry her, but thank you. Ashley, you need to wake up and help get yourself into the house.” The next thing I faintly remembered was being in my room and my mother helping me to step out of the dress and change into my nightgown. “Well little girl, I see that your hips and curves indicate you’re quite the young woman.”

She had me take care of my hair and makeup. I'm still sitting on the edge of my bed when she came back to say goodnight. She giggled as she saw I was too tired to lie down. “Mom, I am so tired but you mentioned I am filling out. Do you think I am really becoming a woman?”

Mom sat down next to me and held me with her arms wrapped around me. “Honey, you are a real woman no matter what. But yes you are filling out and becoming a beautiful woman for everyone to see. …Did you enjoy your time with the Brianna and Allie?”

“Did Julio know about Mr. Richards?”

“No, but I trusted him to respond appropriately and I knew that would mean a lot to the Richards. Similarly, it probably meant a lot to Brianna and Allie that they could talk to you about their Dad being like he is.”

“Mom, is it true that Mr. Richards use to be a mean and ugly person? How can you work with people like that?”

“Ashley, you know I can’t talk about Mr. Richards. It is true however that the people I try to help and work with have real problems.”

“Was it true that when he got ugly again last year, they called you? Weren’t you afraid?”

“Ashley, will you trust me to tell you I use good judgment when I help someone. They are in more danger with me or their consequences than I am of them.”

Mom could feel me shaking, “Ashley, you are about to fall asleep but I don’t want you to fall asleep while you are afraid. Would it be okay if I lie down and sleep with you for a while?”

“Yes,” I said weeping, “I’m sorry to act like a little girl.”

“It is not acting like a baby to worry about your mother’s safety. I appreciate that you care and I love caring about you.”

I fell asleep and remembered little of what happened or what we talked about last night. Mom was still in bed with me. I turned my back to her and wiggled until I was snug in her arms. It felt real nice and it was almost an hour before she woke up.

I thought Mom had fallen asleep with me and ended up sleeping there. When Cathy knocks and pokes her head in the room, I knew that wasn’t the case. I finished getting dressed and join Cathy in the kitchen.

“Your Mom called me saying you were having a tough night and she was having trouble staying awake and being there for you.”

“So my Mom fell asleep after you showed up,” I understood.

Cathy smirked, “No, she wouldn’t go to sleep; she stayed up, having me talking to her when she wasn’t talking and holding you. She thought you were a bit worried about her and was having nightmares.”

“Aren’t you be afraid for my Mom in some of the situations she is in, with the men are often troubled?” I wanted Cathy to confirm my fears.

“I recommended to your Mom before that she should take you to some of her workouts, especially when she did some of her defense training. To answer your question, I pity most men who would try to battle her physically or mentally. My only concern is the unexpected use of weapons, but I know she keeps her phone on speed dial when she initially enters a situation. She has had police already with her if it was advisable, especially now that she has you as a daughter.”

“Ashley, can I tell you something and get your opinion?” I agreed. “I am tired of being called up and coming over late at night?”

“I’m sorry; I don’t mean to worry you or my Mom."

“No, that’s not it; I mean I want to already be here in sharing in her life and being part of your family.” I was confused and didn’t initially understand. She opens a box and shows me a diamond ring. I scream and jump lifting Cathy as I leap up and down holding her.

Soon Mom enters the room, “What is all the noise about?” I know I look like a girl caught with a secret, having done something.

“Cathy said she might take me to a Broadway play.” Mom looks at Cathy and Cathy looks surprised.

“I hope it isn’t real soon as you are grounded for taking a dress from Steff without approval. That is very inappropriate for a young teen.”

Cathy asks, “Brit sit down and tell me about it; Ashley didn’t mention anything about the dress.”

Mom moves pass Cathy and me and as she sat down Cathy knelt near her and holds out the ring as she asks, “Bridgette, I love you very much. My Love, would you marry me?” She places the ring on Mom’s left hand and kisses the ring and then kisses Mom.

Mom looks at the ring, and I could see the sparkle of the diamond in her teary eyes. I too was teary and all mush. Mom is still quiet when I spoke, “Mom! Say yes!”

She giggles, moves toward Cathy and hugs her as she says, “Yes, you are the love of my life as well.” I feel sad for Cathy as she didn’t receive a ring. Mom, “Excuse me, I need to fix my eyes.” I hadn’t even gotten a good look at the ring on her hand.

I'm pouring coffee for each of us and Mom is already returning to the kitchen. She knelt before Cathy, opened a small box and there is another beautiful engagement ring. It was Cathy’s turn to tear, but for her, the tears flowed.

I ask, “Can I be the flower girl?”

“Ashley, I thought you would want to give me away?”

“I want to be there for both of you, but I will do whatever you want. I am so happy for both of you. …Could I present both of you to the minister to be married?” I'm jumping up and down, giggling and then hurry to sit down. I don’t want them to see I wet myself. I was sure Mom realized what happened but she didn’t say anything.

Mom suggests showering, getting dressed and go out for breakfast. “Do I have to stay home,” remembering I'm grounded?

“No, the special occasion cleans your slate. Please go and knock on Steffi’s door and ask her if she would go to breakfast with us?” Steffi answered, but she was not alone and she said, “My girlfriend will need to come as well if that is okay with your mother.”

We went to the Italian restaurant a few blocks away and breakfast is very good. They have European style baked items to full American breakfasts built around eggs or pancakes. Gina and Tony of my generation came to the restaurant but since they're not working this morning they join us for breakfast.

I worried what Grandma Maria would say about Mom and Cathy. I was pleasantly surprised when she says, “Bridgette and Cathy what has taken you so long?” I could tell that Mom was pleasantly surprised and welled up with tears, which is a very unusual sight. A special bottle of vino is brought to the table and many glasses were poured as our host saluted Cathy and Mom.

I'm surprised they did not use champagne but Gina says this was in keeping with her family. Gina asks “Ashley would you date my brother Tony?”

“He would need the nerve to ask me. I will not be offended if he does or doesn’t, but I will answer only to him.” When Joseph played his violin for Mom and Cathy to dance, Tony came and asks me to dance with him. I'm worried as we danced and he asks me out. I did not want to offend him nor Ryta whom I was serious with. I'm determined that I need to be true to my thought of not getting too serious. I said, yes to Tony and we agreed to go to the next dance at St. Bartholomew’s. We exchange numbers and began texting as friends. Gina and I to become friends. I only hoped it would outlive my dating Tony.

Gina and I share interests in reading, music as well as just walking around. She would have liked to wear more jeans and slacks but her family is old world. She mostly wears skirts and dresses. So even there we were similar in what we wore. Her mother was the fifth child in her generation and third that stayed with the restaurant. She's a talented instrumentalist and singer which she does both for the restaurant and their church. Her specialty, however, is special events through the restaurant and getting the most of her staff on such occasions.

During the coming week, Mom and Cathy receive a call from Pastor Stephens of the large Riverside Church. He's one of the associate pastors and a friend that Mom knows and calls on from time to time. He wants to invite them to consider the Riverside Church for the wedding. The church is old and grand in many ways. It was good to be asked, and Mom and Cathy would like the wedding there but not in the huge sanctuary. They did have one chapel that was a big as many sanctuaries and it would be there that Pastor Stephens and Cathy’s pastor Dr. Karen Thomas from Jersey would officiate the wedding together. Pastor Thomas would conduct a private ceremony in New Jersey with the formal wedding later next Spring at Riverside.

Mom and Cathy want the formal wedding to show public acceptance but also want to make sure it will be fully approved and known in public. Those invited would be LGBT, straight, black, or of Spanish origins. Only one of her former clients is invited to be part of the wedding as a woman but without the fanfare of her participation.

Steffi moved within a month and is also separating from Mom in their practice. Each would call on the other and keep working together at times but it was time for them to be under separate roofs. Cathy desires to carry their first child but they would wait to within the month of the formal wedding to seek to get her pregnant, just in case she became pregnant the first attempt. I enjoy the time to be the first of the children to bond with them.

Their marriage and desire to have children leads to interesting discussions only a percentage that I get to hear or take part in. Mom in many ways is the most feminine yet the strongest in personality as well. Since Bridgette already is a mom to me, Cathy desires to share the joy of being a mother as well.

Back to school and singing, it is now the first day I would sing at the coffeehouse and I'm nervous. I went to school early to rehearse with Mr. Heard. I took my guitar but was apprehensive about playing it as I tried to sing. It was helpful to rehearse. Jana has come and brought her guitar as well. I'm afraid she might replace me as the singer, but she says, “Ashley, I will not do that but I did practice playing your songs. I am willing to accompany you. I can play them with the guitar or on a piano if you would like my help.”

Jana explains, “I think live music is better than recordings but it is unfair to make you do both unless you have done it before.”

Mom had told me a little about Melanie, that she was born in the City but grew up in New Jersey. She was popularly known in the city for more than the song Brand New Key.

Most of her songs weren’t all that popular as she sang at places like Woodstock and the Isle of Wright Festival. Because she sang for peace and the end of the War in Vietnam she was not popular with the establishment. She sang down at places in Greenwich Village at coffee houses like this but for adults and those free in spirit. Psychotherapy was kind of a comical song triggered by society’s bent on being rigid and too much attention to the importance of sexuality and fitting other people’s molds.

Psychotherapy should be focused on healing and understanding, but according to the song, it is based on paying the check for the next session. Today it would often be determined by insurance or a government program. I'm nervous as I begin to sing but as I get into the rhythm of the song, the small crowd gets into the song.

With little introduction, I sang “Ring the Living Bell”…
I'm not a magic lady
But I want to sing to help the light
Descend on the earth today
Because it’s gonna get dark tonight
Sing the light, ah
Sing the living light
Still feel weak, but God,
I want to give and shine the living light

Been walking down the street all night
'n' I been feeling kinda cold
Still feel naked
God I wanna be warm before I get old and I'm cold
Ah, an' I'm feeling cold
Still feel hungry
God I want to give and ring the living bell
Still feel hungry
God I want to live and ring the living bell

One in the audience asks, “Did you hear this song when you were a Street Rat?”

“No, but the song got me thinking as it did you. Yes as a street person I could have related to the song if I had heard. I think the Living Bell is an expression for thinking freely. Sometimes when people light lighters or cell phones at a concert, it may be as simple as identifying with the singer; but for others, it might be expressing something about the song.”

Invited back, I ask the audience to invite others and be ready to sing the Living Bell with me if they come back. I'm also to prepare another song or two. Along with feeling good myself, I am impressed how Jana gave so much of herself. She and I visit quite a bit as others sang. “I don’t want you to misinterpret Ash, I am not interested in you and me becoming an item.”

I giggled but quickly, “Jana, I can be friends with you as you were with me tonight. Friendship is plenty enough.”

Mom picks me up after the Coffeehouse shuts down for the evening; “Cathy and I will try to come tomorrow night if you are comfortable with us being present.”

“Mom, do you have a Hippie style dress?”

“Yes, I do, but I'm not sure I have one that might fit you, why?”

“I just wanted to see one and see if it could help set my mood for the coffeehouse or an improv peace demonstration that I could picture her singing in.” When we got home Cathy took an interest in our conversation. “Ash, I have an Aunt who grew up during the early 70s; she’s just the type to have her stuff from back then.”

She calls her, “Hi Sandy, Bridgette’s girl is getting into Melanie and singing a couple of her songs for a coffeehouse event. We're trying to find someone who might have a hippie style dress she might lend… Three, you still have three? …We are not worried about gettin’ it for tomorrow but would still like to get one of them… Yeah. I could stop over tomorrow, but I didn’t want to put you out… Then come back with me and stay here tomorrow night. She’s a cool young lady. I know you would enjoy her and I’d love to see you… I’ll be there after lunch and if you want to come just have something packed for the night or better the weekend. Jack’s invited but I agree, I think our estrogen level is a might high for his comfort.”

“You’ll like her Ash and I suspect she will have all three dresses for you to choose from.” “Bridgette, you know if Ashley goes according to that style it’s either no bra or one of those thin dresses.” I look at Cath and then to Mom.

Mom says, “You could try that style here, but neither I nor the school will agree a coffeehouse is a place you want to try that. It could be neat if you used Melanie and that time for a presentation and had the approval to wear something like that. But you better have approval from the teacher.”

“Mom that reminds me after Thanksgiving we’re having our first crossover day at school; they call it Gender Bender. I was thinking of dressing like ‘Cap’ a street personality that used to be in lower Manhattan. …People weren’t sure if Pauly was a guy or girl.”

“Did you know and meet Cap or travel with that gang?”

“I saw Cap at least twice, but no, I never tried getting close to the group Cap was in. They didn’t like to be called a gang but it was a close and usually a pretty closed group most of the time.”

“So how would you try to pull it off for Gender Bender Day,” asked Cathy?

“I’d have my breasts wrapped, but leave it kind of open for people to think if I’m trying to be a girl or guy. Have a dirty ponytail and hanging out of a dirty cap. They’ve been asking me to do something about street life. I thought it shows a number of sides.”

After dinner Cathy and Mom unwound in their new relaxed style: large shirt and panties barely showing or barely hidden, pending on how one looks at it. To me, it’s interesting to see women filled out being that way. I noticed their hips and checked mine to see if mine are filing out.

I had lost some weight but didn’t notice where, but as I’m looking my hips have grown but my waist is smaller. But I couldn’t tell because my clothes don’t usually reflect my waist. I still look a bit heavy because of my hips. I put out an outfit for tomorrow and nice skirt that hugs my hips and a top that slims down over my stomach and waist.

‘Too many things in a girl’s life,’ I thought. I guess they’re there for a guy but guys don’t think or notice them. Plus my thoughts now have more feelings. ‘I guess they are not really too many as I am glad to be Ashley. Part of my problem is my head is still too much boy. “Mom, do real girls have vagina talks with their Mom’s?” Mom and Cathy quickly become more modest as I mentioned ‘vagina talks’. They both laugh and relax, as Mom says, “I don’t suspect most but I shouldn’t be surprised that we will.”

“Do we need to get down to our panties or less, or do you just want to talk,” she asked?

My eyes got wide, “Could we?” Mom and then Cathy both stood up and took off their panties. Mom also took off her large shirt as they both sat back down. It is now me who's being modest and slow…”
 
 
Character List:
Ashley/ Jack
Bridgette — Mom
Cathy — Best Friend; Steffi — Business partner, housemate friend
Joyce — Bad social worker; Officer Roger — Friend to Jack
Dr. Ann Akers — Psychiatrist; Officer Tracy
Deanna Briggs — New Teacher; Kelli Geortelli — Teacher at Beacon Hill School
Patti and Aidan - Mrs. Kelli Geortelli’s children
Jess, Norm and Cody - Street friends
Dr. Johnson; Dr. Reid - Surgeon
Joani and Collin Richards —Friends; Mr. Richards
Johnny (nasty), Val — Friends of Collin
Marie, Cassie, Ryta - Friends
Constance (Connie) McGregor — Assistant City Attorney
Dr. Mercer at Columbia Presbyterian; Paramedic — Maria Lopez