Funny Business - Chapter 3, Charles puts his foot into it

by

Samantha Michelle Davies(SamanthaMD)

Charles arrived for work the next day carrying a peace offering. He was carrying a huge bunch of flowers and a vase to put them in.

“Why Charles, I didn’t know you cared”, said Liz in a faux southern accent.

She acted the part as well.

Charlie smiled.

“And the Oscar for best actress goes to Liz”

They both fell around laughing.

“Thanks for the flowers Charlie. They will brighten the place up a lot”

“That’s what I thought”

Charles had also purchased some Coffee, Milk and a few other groceries.

“When you get a car, you can do the shopping yourself. In the meantime, I’ll take you.”

“Thanks. The cupboard is pretty bare at Mother Bears house”

Liz brewed the coffee and they got down to work.

“Where do you want to start?” asked Charlie.

“Not at the obvious place, the beginning. That is for sure”

“Where then?”

“I want to look at every collection that a certain Silvio Mandratti has produced in the last 10 years or however long she has been showing during the fashion weeks. That will give us all the reference material we need for the next bit of the investigation”

“That is a lot of work”

“Luckily most of it will be on-line somewhere. Jake has also kindly provided the magazines complete photo archive. That goes back to the first collection”

Liz paused.

“That reminds me, did you get the phone line connected and the DSL sorted?”

“Yes. That was why I was a little late this morning. The phone will be reconnected this afternoon. The DSL should be available in the morning”

“Great news. Thanks”

“What can I do?”

“How about drawing up a list of questions for the people who have had their designs ripped off. That seems to be lawyering stuff”

Charlie laughed and made a note on his pad.

“Do you think this will become what you call a class action?”

“Very probably.”

“Then there is the financial aspect. How much money has the fashion house made from this scam”

Charlie made some more notes.

“Finally, there is the international aspect. Who sues who and where?”

Charlie made another note and then said.

“What about the methods used. There might be some criminal activity in the theft of the designs”

“Good point”

Liz looked at Charlie.

“Am I trying to teach a duck to swim?”

Charlie laughed.

“Not quite. I’ve already thought of these things. What you are doing is putting them into some form of order. More logical and definitely more practical”

Liz looked at him suspiciously.

“Are you serious about that?”

Charlie smiled.

“Yes. Absolutely. Didn’t you get the message yesterday that I’m not the greatest lawyer in the world?”

He put down his pad and looked at Liz.

“The truth is that I’m not very good at all. The theory is fine, fantastic even but when it comes to the practice, and I’m pretty shit.”

Liz smiled.

“I sort of got that message. So why did our esteemed editor in Chief select you from all the lawyers in the world for this gig? I want the truth now?”

Charlie hesitated.

Then he smiled.

“My family owns a whole heap of stock in the company. He also has a seat on the board”

“Well Charlie, that explains a lot”

“He expected that this would be the making of me. The breaking of me more like”

“That bad eh?”

“This is a really complex case and probably involves people in at least 4 countries, 3 of which are in Europe. Each own had their own very unique judicial system. If you think that justice is slow here, you should see how long it takes in Italy”

“So your first decision would be to sue here in the US?”

He smiled.

“I guess you just made it for me. Perhaps you should be the lawyer on this case”

Liz reached over and took his hand.

“All the legal stuff is yours and you know it. It seems to me that you are just lacking the confidence. Make whatever decisions you want. I won’t interfere unless you ask me to. Ok?”

He smiled back.

“You are right though about the location though. US Courts will also typically award higher damages than other countries”

Liz smiled.

“There you go, you have justified it perfectly”

Over the next few days, they really developed a pattern of working together. Things began to move forward quite rapidly but both knew it couldn’t carry on forever.

On the fifth day, Liz got a call from Jake.

“Hi Jake. What’s up?”

“Opps yes we did. Sorry. I should have let you know”

“Where are we now? Currently, we are in Southampton. I’ll email you the details”

“Yeah. Ok. See you later”

Liz closed up her phone.

“That was Jake.”

“Guess who forgot to tell him our new location?”

“Moi!”

“Yep. He wants a meeting. I’ll send him the address and how to get here”

“How will he get here?” asked Charlie.

Liz thought for a few seconds.

“Good Question. Let me call him back. He can take the train”

“Are you sure? A Senior Editor of a leading fashion Magazine taking the train?”

“I know for a fact that he doesn’t drive. I can’t remember the last time he left New York on anything other than a Plane”

“Then this will be a first for him then”

“We’ll see” replied Liz trying not to laugh at the thought of Jake using public transport.

Liz called Jake back and arranged for him to come by train.

Two and a half hours later Liz picked up Jake at the local station and brought him back to the house.

“Who’s great idea was it to move out here?” said Jake when he arrived at the station somewhat travel worn. The LIRR is not a stretch limo by any means”.

“I think it was both of us. I needed somewhere to live. We needed somewhere a bit more secure to work. This location seemed ideal as it was pretty close to Charlie’s home as well”

Jake looked at Liz.

“Is there anything going on between you two”

Liz smiled.

She put her hand on her heart.

“No there isn’t anything going on between us. Promise”

Somewhat grudgingly, Jake replied.

“Ok”

“Hey. Jake. What is it?”

“I had sort of hoped that something might be going on”

Liz laughed.

“All I said was that there is nothing going on between us now. I didn’t say nowt about the future”

Jake laughed.

“I love it when you go all English on me”. That was why he hired her in the first place.

Charlie was waiting for them when they arrived.

“Hi Jake”

“Charlie”

He looked around and saw the waterfront at the back of the property.

“This is a really nice place. What’s over there?”

“That the Indian Reservation. Nice and quiet here”

“How much am I paying for this place?” asked Jake.

“At the moment nothing. Charlie paid the first two months rent. I need to settle up with him and then put in an expense claim for the same amount as you were paying for the old place”

Jake shook his head.

“Don’t bother. Charlie, just send the bills to me. I’ll make sure they are paid. This is a far better spot than that Office Suite. You made a good decision”

Once inside, Charlie said,

“I’ve made up lunch. We can talk business over lunch”

“Great idea”

Liz had told Charlie that Jake liked his food.

Charlie served up ‘Chorizo & Prawn Salad’ along with a nice chilled white wine.

“Is this how you dine every day?” asked Jake at the end of the meal.

“I wish,” joked Liz.

“Hey, are you criticizing my cooking?”

Liz looked coyly at Charlie.

“Charlie like cooking. So he has a willing consumer of his delicacies in me. Besides, it is a good break from the work,” said Liz.

“I didn’t mean to criticize. This was great.”

Jake spent most of the afternoon with the pair discussing their progress and their plans.

“So when are you off to Europe then?” asked Jake just before 4pm.

“We haven’t set a date yet”, said Charlie.

“From what I’ve seen here, that really should be your next move. I’d expect one or two board members will start asking questions about your progress in a month or so”

“We have hardly spent a lot of money so far”, complained Liz.

“I know but that will change soon. What with flights and hotels and everything. There isn’t a blank cheque to fund this project you know”

Liz looked at Charlie. He winked at her.

“Jake, Liz & I have been discussing this. Don’t worry about the funds. As we are supposed to be on a sabbatical then you aren’t paying us. I’ll cover everything apart from the rental of this place. I’ve already decided that I won’t be coming back to work on the 6^th Floor when this is all over. Working with Liz here has really opened my eyes as to how boring my job is. If we succeed then pay us a bonus. That should cover the costs.”

Jake sat there trying to understand what Charlie had said.

“You haven’t been poached by some other publication have you?”

They both laughed.

“Jake. Don’t worry. We are still under contract to you. You get the story if there is one. You can tell the board that this isn’t costing them a penny”

That seemed to satisfy Jake.

“What about you Liz? Are you giving up one me?” asked Jake.

“Not at the moment. As with any job, there comes a point when it is time to move on. I honestly don’t know if I’m at that point yet. Like Charlie, this project has given me an opportunity to examine what I’m doing with my life. And before you ask, no, I’m not bored with my job. Far from it. Ok?”

“Ok. I get it.”

He looked at his watch.

“It is probably time I was going. Don’t forget the regular reports. You have the email address to use for them. Once a week at least ok?”

“Yeah. Yeah. We get the message”

Charlie took Jake back to the Station and went home. Liz sat thinking about the revelations they’d exposed to Jake that afternoon. She felt suddenly relieved that she might not be going back to work on the mag when this was over. Like Charlie, it had taken this project to make her realize that she was stuck in a run. All be it, a quite enjoyable run but nevertheless, a rut all the same. Quite what she was going to do was still a blank canvas but at that point in time, she didn’t care.

*

Charlie arrived bright an early the next morning.

“Hi Liz. Sleep well?” said Charlie as he poured himself a mug of Coffee.

“Not really. I was thinking about what we told Jake yesterday.”

“Me too. I wondered if we went too far?”

“Same here.”

“There’s no use dwelling on it. At least we used the words possibly & probably rather than certainly”

“Thank god for small mercies”

By lunchtime that day everything that could possibly be done in preparation had just about been done.

“I think we should plan our trip over the Pond” said Liz.

“When do you want to go?”

“Do you have any objections to going on Sunday Night”

“Not me. Why then?”

“I’ve got an appointment to get my hair done on Saturday. I go to a salon just off 8^th Avenue”

“That’s fair enough. I can go up and see my parents”

“Where are they?”

“At their place in Maine. ”

“Isn’t the season over?”

“Yeah. They actually like the fall there. The place settles down into a more sedate way of life.”

Liz sat for a moment.

“You know, I’ve never been up to New England for the fall colours.”

Charlie laughed.

“It can be a bit hit & miss. When it’s good it is really good. It’s probably a bit late now for Maine though”

Liz looked sad.

“Next year maybe?”

“Yeah.”

Charles made a few phone calls that afternoon to arrange his trip to Portland. Liz booked her flight to Milan.

Everything seemed set for their trip to Europe.

*

Liz arranged for a ‘Limo’ to take her to the airport. More of a minibus really but they would pick her up from the house. Charles would meet her there as he was flying down from Portland on the Sunday afternoon.

He called Liz on Sunday morning to see if everything was ok. She confirmed that it was.

Liz arrived in good time for the 5:45pm departure to Milan. She had done this trip several times before and hoped that the plane wouldn’t be full. She checked in and went through to departures while Charles was flying down from Portland.

She waited in the Departure lounge on the lookout for Charles. By the time it was her turn to board the aircraft, there was no sign of him. She delayed as much as possible. All the ground crew would do was confirm that he’d checked in.

Reluctantly, she boarded the plane. She was just about the last cattle class passenger to board. Her seat was right at the rear next to the toilets. She groaned when she sat down and the passenger sitting next to her introduced himself. His breath reeked of garlic and he had B.O.

When she heard the thus of the plane doors closing, her heart sank. There was no sign of Charles anywhere.

Liz resigned herself to flying to Milan on her own. What made matters worse was the man sitting next to her was trying to chat her up and wouldn’t take no for an answer. She was trapped until the plane was airborne and the seat belt sign was switched off.

Forty minutes into the flight and ironically flying over the Maine Coast, the seatbelt sign went off.

Liz was out of her seat and looking for a flight attendant.

They were polite in their refusal to help saying that they had ‘drinks & dinner service to get done’ before they would help her either move seat or check to see if Charles was on board.

Not wanting to cause a scene, she sat down again.

The rubber chicken meal was made passable by the half decent Chianti that Liz nabbed from the drinks trolley as it made its way to the front of Coach class. Here foresight proved to be a saviour as there was none left by the time the trolley reached her.

Once the meal was out of the way, the lights were dimmed and everyone was expected to get some sleep. The man sitting next to her made this impossible by lolling all over her shoulder. Despite the liberal use of her elbows and heels, she was unable to get him to stop lolling all over her.

In the end, she got up out of her seat and got a plastic cup of water from the Galley.

When she returned to her seat, he was virtually lying in it. She returned to the galley.

“Excuse me I need some assistance,” she asked a flight attendant who was busy scoffing her meal.

“What is it?”

“The man sitting next to me is now preventing me from sitting down. If you don’t move him immediately, I will pour this water all over him”

“Madam. If you do that I’ll call the Air Marshal”

“Fine. Do it now. I would like to sit in my allotted seat and get some sleep. This man is virtually assaulting me. If you force me to sit down, I’ll hit him in the balls. Do I make myself clear?”

“Do what you like. Can’t you see I’m easting my meal. If you cause a disturbance, I’ll call the Air Marshal and have you arrested”

“So you are not going to help me?”

“Yes” said the attendant in between mouthfuls.

“Fine. Have it your way”

Liz turned on her heels and walked up the aisle and into Business Class. She was about to go into First class when an attendant stopped her.

“You can’t go in there. Please return to your seat”

“I would if I had a seat to sit upon. The flight attendant at the back of this goddam flying tube refuses to help me. I want to see the person in charge”

“Madam. Please sit down this instant”

Just then another Attendant appeared from behind the curtains that separated Business from First Class.

“What appears to be the problem?”

“Are you in charge here?”

“Yes why?”

“Follow me. Then you can perhaps explain to me why two of your crew have refused to stop me being assaulted by the man sitting next to me”

“Is this true?” asked the newcomer.

“I was asking this passenger to sit down”

“And I was telling her that I couldn’t because the man in the seat next to mine was sprawled over into mine”

The newcomer said.

“Please madam. Show me where you are sitting”

“I’m right at the back. Next to the Galley where your colleague is scoffing her face with steak”

Liz stormed towards the back of the plane followed by the Attendant from First class.

The passenger was still sprawled over her seat.

“How can I sit there? He refuses to lean the other way”

Just then the attendant from the Galley appeared.

“Did this passenger ask you for help?”

“Yes”

“She threatened to have me arrested if I didn’t sit down,” said Liz butting in.

“Is this true?”

“Yes” replied the Galley Attendant reluctantly.

The man in charge turned to Liz and said.

“I’m sorry for this. My crew shouldn’t react like that. Lets see if we can get you your seat back. Normally, I’d offer you a seat elsewhere on the place. But tonight, we are completely full. Not even a spare seat in 1^st Class.”

That was little comfort to Liz.

The Head Attendant woke the male passenger.

“Sir”. He shook him. Still he didn’t move.

“Sir”. Again he was shaken. This time he woke.

“What’s up?”

“This lady would like to sit down. May I suggest you lean against the window and not against her”?

Liz added.

“If you lean over me again I’ll not be responsible for where my right fist goes ok?”

“Ok lady. Don’t get you panties in a twist.”

He looked Liz over and said in a harsh New York accent.

“Besides, you ain’t my sort of broad”

He turned over and leaned against the window.

Liz said to the head Attendant.

“Thanks”

She sat down and tried to get some sleep.

Sleep was difficult to come by. She kept thinking why was Charles not on board.

Eventually, she dropped off only to be woken less than an hour later bye the Drinks trolley bashing into her shoulder.

Breakfast Service had begun.

The plane landed on time at Milan. She put her watch forward by 6 hours and went about going through Immigration & Customs.

Luckily, her British Passport meant that she was able to go through the ‘EU’ Channel without and interrogation by the officials.

As she went into the Baggage Claim hall, who was almost the first person she saw by Charles.

“Hi Liz. How was your flight? I looked for you but I didn’t see you”

“Where the fuck were you. I looked everywhere for you. I was right at the frigging back of the plane next to someone who reeked of Garlic and kept leaning on me. I’ve had next to no sleep and I’m not going to be a nice person to be close to until I’ve had a shower”

Charles went red in the face.

“Oh dear. I think I owe you an apology. I was in 1^st Class”

“Fucking first class. How the fuck did you get there?”

“I should have booked your flight with mine. My travel agent automatically books me into 1^st Class whenever I fly long distance”

And just how do you think I am going to afford 1^st Class. We only get expensed for frigging cattle class.”

Charles took Liz’s hand and led her to some seats.

“I’m so sorry Liz. I just didn’t think. I’ve never travelled with anyone like you before”

“Just what the hell does that mean”?

“I’m sorry. I said that all wrong. Let me start again”

She said nothing.

“I was trying to say that when I’ve travelled in the past, it has either been alone or with someone like my Wife or other family members and that the travel arrangements were all made by the same travel agent at the same time. If I’d have known that you were travelling coach then I would have done so as well”

Liz thought for a moment before replying.

“Yeah and there is a squadron of pigs flying around the Leaning Tower of Pisa as we speak”

This was lost on Charles.

“Lets face it Charles. You have money and you spend it according to your norm with is 1^st Class. I don’t have money and I spend what little I have according to my norm which is most definitely ‘Coach Class’. And that Charles is why we really don’t have much going for us do we”

Charles was about to say something.

“Put a sock in it Charles. I’m tired, irritable and have probably said far too much. I need some sleep a decent meal and then I might be in a position to discuss it further.”

Liz stormed off and picked her back off the luggage carousel.

Charles followed several steps behind not quite sure what to make of what just happened between them.

They took a Taxi to their hotel in Silence. Again neither of them spoke to each other as they checked in.

The lift to the 4^th floor had a definite icy feel.

Liz went into her room, slammed the door and flung herself down on the bed and cried herself to sleep.

She slept until it was quite dark outside. A gentle knocking on her door woke her.

“Hello who is it?” she said.

“Servizio della domestica. Desidero cambiare i tovaglioli e girare giá¹ la base” came the reply which was quickly followed by.

“It is the Maid. I want to check your towels and turn down the bed”

“Go away. Come back tomorrow”

“Sᬠsignora”

Peace reigned again.

Liz lay there for a while listening to the sounds of the City.

Eventually, the call of nature prevailed and Liz had to get up. She showered and put on a change of clothes. Once she’d put on a reasonable face she decided to go in search of some food.

She stepped into the Restaurant and stopped dead. There was Charles sitting at a table by the window and scanning the menu.

She turned on her heels and almost ran out of the place.

Before she knew it, she was in the street.

Suddenly, she felt cold. It was early November in northern Italy. She needed a coat.

Reluctantly, Liz went back into the hotel and returned to the refuge of her room. She ordered some “Pappardelle with Meat Sauce” and a bottle of Barolo from room service. She drank the whole bottle and fell asleep once again.

When Liz woke up it was still dark outside. For a moment, she didn’t know where she was. Then her throbbing head told her that she was in Milan.

After a shower and a decent breakfast, she was ready to face the world.

She opened her laptop and ignoring the 10 emails in her “inbox”, she emailed Jake.

Jake,

Coming back to NY today. Charles is a prick. All he thinks about is himself. He flew 1^ST class. I was in Coach with someone from the Bronx slobbering all over me all night. I quit

Liz

She sent it without any regret.

Her next step was going to be to call the airline and book herself on the next flight to JFK.

Before she could find the number to call, her Cell phone rang. She looked at the caller-id. It said nothing.

“Hello”

“Liz. Are you all right?” came the voice of Jake.

“Jake. Read your email. I can’t work with that stuck-up prick any more”

“Liz. Calm down. Calm down”

“Jake. Listen. I’m getting on the next flight out of here. Your project is toast I’m afraid.”

“Liz! Stop right there young lady. This is your Uncle Jake talking”

Liz calmed down a little. She sat on the bed.

“Sorry to go off on you. I’m a little upset”

“You love him don’t you?”

“Nothing like being direct and straight to the point eh Jake”

“Don’t try to change the subject. Answer my question”

Liz took a deep breath.

“Yes. There is that a good enough answer for you”

“You are scared aren’t you?”

Before she could answer.

“You are scared of being rejected again”

“Yes Jake I’m scared. I’m scared that I won’t fit in with his ‘set’. I’m scared because of me and my past. I’m scared because he does not love me”

There was a silence on the line.

“Jake? Are you still there?”

“Yes Liz I’m here. Do you know for certain that he does not love you? How? How do you know that?”

Then where the frigging hell is he? Where are the flowers being delivered to my room? Where are the boxes of Chocolates? Why hasn’t he knocked on my door? Where are the notes pushed under the door?”

“Wow Liz. That is some list. You mean you haven’t seen hide nor tail of him?”

“Not since we travelled up un the lift”

Liz didn’t want to mention her near miss in the Restaurant.

“I’ll tell you why you haven’t heard from him. He’s in Rome following up on a lead. He already had two confirmed cases already signed up. Liz. Charles cares deeply about you. Haven’t you even considered that he is as scared as you?”

“But he’s not like me is he”

“No Liz but you need to give him a chance. Please don’t leave until you have talked things over with him. At least give him a chance”

“Ok Jake. I’ll do this one thing for you”

“Hang on in there Liz. Hang on in there”

She hung-up before he could say anything else.

Liz sat for several hours just staring out of the Window at the red roofed Milan Skyline.

The ringing of the phone broke her trance.

“Hello”

“Liz”

“Go away Charles”

“Please don’t hang up. I’m coming back from Rome on the train that leaves here at 4pm. I will have someone with me you need to speak to”

“I don’t care Charles. I’m going home on the next flight”

“Please Liz. This is nothing to do with us. Do this for Jake”

“How dare you bring him into this”

“He told me all about you”

“What! How dare he. Goodbye Charles”

She slammed her phone shut.

The tears streamed down her cheeks.

[Continued in Part 4]