Funny Business — Chapter 1, A New Assignment
By
Samantha Michelle Davies

[Authors Note]
This is the first part of a multi-part story. The TG part won't become clear until much later so please bear with me on this. It does become a key part to the story.
This was also the first large piece I've ever written where the ending was totally clear in my mind before I started writing a word. I have to say that it was a little unnerving at times. Twisting the plot lines through many loops was not easy.
[End Note]

“How was Paris last week? One party after another?” asked the Editor with a wry smile on his face.
“Tough. No parties for us hacks. Just one show after another and then straight back here. I’m still a bit jet lagged. Otherwise, the shows were pretty good. Sam got a lot of good piccies. I reviewed most of them on the plane”, said the plainly dressed ‘thirty something’ sitting opposite him in his office.
“Great. From your copy, I think we have enough for next months issue”
“Thanks Boss”

He paused for a few moments.
“Did you get that apartment on the East Side you were after?”
“Nah. Apparently I failed the residents test. Something about my background didn’t fit their utterly snobbish requirements”
“What are you going to do then?”
“I think I have managed to find a small loft in the East Village for 6 months. It was a lot easier to get decent digs in London. Here, with all these conditions, tenants approvals and the like, it is almost worth buying something and commuting in from the burbs”
“I know what you mean. That house on Long Island I told you about is still up for sale you know?”
She laughed.
“Thanks Boss but I don’t think living next to my boss is going to please Gloria”
He laughed.
“Frankly Liz, it would probably stop my beloved Gloria from thinking that I’m dating every bit of skirt, if you would pardon my English, in the place”
They both laughed. He knew why nothing would ever come between them.
“Thanks for the confidence Jake. It is much appreciated”
She paused.
“Anyway, you didn’t get me in here straight off a trans-Atlantic flight just to pass the time of day? Or did you?”
“You never have much time for idle gossip do you Liz?”
They both smiled at each other. Liz was just about the only journalist on his staff he could trust to do any job he dished out without complaint.

“I have a nice little project for you. Probably another trip over the pond I’m afraid”
Liz smiled.
“The downside is that you are going to have to work with someone else on this.”
“Who?”
“Charles Everett”
“Who? Is he new?”
“No, he not new. He’s one of our lawyers. You’ll find him on the 6th floor”
“Why? If you don’t mind my asking?”

Jake passed her a thick folder.
“Take this home and read it. It could be absolute dynamite. Pulitzer stuff. Put it in your safe or sleep with it under your pillow just don’t let it out of your sight. Take a few days to fully read it. Then call Charles. He has already been fully briefed. In there are details of where you will be working”
“Working? Why not here?”
“Because Liz, this place has ears not only in the walls, in the floor and everywhere. I want to dedicate a complete issue to this story. The plan is to put out a complete issue with hardly any advertising. And those that we carry will be the ones who can’t have any side effects from the fall out from this story”
Liz was suddenly all ears.
“Jake, why me? There are plenty of other hack’s who could do this”
“Yes there are. But they are too well known and besides, we both know that none of them would have the integrity to keep this a secret until it hits the streets”
This worried Liz. A sense of impending doom fell over her for a brief second.

“Jake, you know the last thing I want is publicity. If it is Pulitzer material then the ‘paps’ will be camped outside my home day & night.”
“Yeah. I know all that. That is why this is going out under my by-line. The board were unhappy with that but you will find a contract at the back of that folder. The board has already approved the whole project. Only a few, and I mean a few will know it is yours. The board have authorised a substantial bonus if you pull this off. If this really is Pulitzer material and it gets shortlisted, then the committee will be told who the real authors are but need to protect their identity. It has been done before so there is precedent”

Liz chuckled.
“Gloria would love the limelight. All those flash guns going off would reminder her of her former career”
Jake laughed.
“Yes she would love being in the limelight again.”

Liz looked at her boss for quite a long time.
“Ok Jake. I’ll take this home and read it. I’ll come in tomorrow ant let me know what I think”
Jake looked serious.
“Sorry Liz. From now on, and until the edition hits the streets, you are not to come in here. You are officially on a Sabbatical. Charles will fill you in on all the legal bits”

Jake opened a desk drawer.
He pulled out a mobile phone and handed it to Liz.
“Use this to call me to arrange a meeting. Somewhere a long way from here especially where no other co-workers might see us meeting”
“This is like a James Bond story. Is this really needed?”
“Fraid so. Look read the file, read the contract and then call me”

Liz yawned.
“Sorry, my body thinks it is Midnight. Ok. I’ll read this and see what it says”
Jake smiled.
“Good girl. I knew I could rely on you”
“Thanks Boss”
“Oh, I forgot. You can tell Louise that Karen will be taking over your column on a temporary basis until you return”
Suddenly, Liz’s tiredness evaporated.
“Oh goody. She’ll just love that”
“I thought you would be pleased,” replied Jake as she stood up.
Liz was grinning like a Cheshire cat as she picked up the file and the mobile phone and left his office.

She went to her ‘cubicle’ and started packing her things.
“Hey Liz. What’s up?” said a face appearing over the partition.
“Hi Louise”
“I saw you in Jake’s office”
“Yeah.”
Liz was trying to think on her feet.
“I gave him my report from Paris. Now I’m out of here”
“What he fired you? Are you leaving?” asked Louise hoping that she would get a promotion.
Liz smiled sweetly.
Louise was the source of many rumours in the office. She was also suspected of leaking certain stories to other publications.
“No. I’m taking a Sabbatical. I need to tidy up some stuff in England. My Mother is getting a bit forgetful these days.”
“How long will you be gone?
“I’m not sure. Several months I’d expect. I’ve got to find her a residential home, sell her house and all that guff. I don’t want to leave it to others to go through her things”
Liz looked at Louise hoping that the blatant lies she had just spurted were believed.
“I’m sorry to hear it. I hope everything goes well”
Liz smiled.
“Karen Sabatini will be taking over from me”
Louise’s face dropped.
“Oh shit.”
“Yeah bummer eh? I know that the two of you don’t get on”
“That is rather an understatement”

Louise had been trying to take over her part of the magazine for some time.
“Just don’t let her get her feet too firmly planted in my chair. Comprenez-vous?”
Reluctantly, Louise replied.
“Ok. I get it”
“Just do your best and perhaps Jake will give you the outdoor pages”
“Gee whizz thanks Liz. Thanks for nothing”
“That’s where I started remember”
“So you keep reminding me”
Liz smiled.
“Just think of all those babes in Swimsuits in the Florida Sun. Doesn’t that interest you?”
Louise was by all accounts a closet lesbian.
Louise glared at Liz.

By now Liz had packed her meagre belongings into a cardboard box and was ready to leave.
“Right that’s it. I’m off home to get some sleep”
With her head held high, Liz turned on her heels and left Louise to start the office rumour mill running.

[Continued in Part 2]
This story was originally published on my own blog last year. I've made a few edits to the story to correct my own silliness.