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NOTE: This is a painful account of the events of the trial I endured after the severe beating and rape. This is represents some of the thoughts and feelings I had during those times in my life. It is somewhat graphic as some of the evidence presented is disturbing and fairly gross. I caution the reader. This chapter or episode is a long one. I apologize in advance for its length.

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Day 46:
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I endured a lot of trauma during the last few days of the trial. Well I have to say that I was not overly impressed by the attitudes of either neither of the defense attorney nor of Jason’s testimony. I felt betrayed as well as extremely hurt. His utter denial that he knew me upset me the most. Before this hell had happened, Jason and I were friends, and I had actually planned on a special night with him. Angela and I met prior to the day’s proceedings and she was quite annoyed with Jason’s council. She warned me it could get nasty; well she was right on the money.

Mr. McVeigh entered into evidence letters I had wrote to Jason outlining my involvement with Jason. He also introduced very private conversations that the two of us had. I cringed as these were entered.

During Jason’s testimony, he was quoted as saying, “Melissa blatantly lied to me by saying she was a total female and not a male.” Jason then went to on to state about how in his conversations with me, that he had had and the intimacy we had and that what led up to that night in question was that I deserved it and that I was asking for it.

I was absolutely flabbergasted and getting pissed off royally. Jason told the court that he obtained the information from me while he taped the conversations and had a mini cassette recorder in his jacket when we went for coffee.

I got really pissed and I jumped up and stated quite loudly, “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME!”

The Judge admonished me and Angela quite severely. I cried privacy rights quietly to her and she just shrugged silently. And wrote, 'We will deal with that when you are on the stand.'

Mr. McVeigh introduced all the taped conversations we had had. And then he pointed to the night in question. Jason was quite arrogant and stated that yes he went out to drink with a few of his work buddies and he also stated that he was not really sure why we were going to dinner.

I jumped up a second time and shouted, “YOU CERTAINLY KNEW YOU PRICK!”

Again I was admonished. Fuck! I hated this inquisition. Jason so smug and cocky just smiled and looked at me as if to say ‘I have you now and I am going to get off.’

I thought to myself, ‘Not a hope in hell. You asshole!’

Angela literally had to try and keep me under control. It was hard. I so wanted to get up and trounce that asshole Jason and his attorney McVeigh that Angela had to take control of my motorized wheelchair. If she hadn't, I'd have run over BOTH of them.

After several grueling hours of listening to Jason’s cocky account of my life which were not pleasant, court was dismissed for the day. I have to mention here that all of my dirty little secrets were dredged up with my home life in gruesome detail. Those details also included my trips to the hospital and suicide attempts as well my time on the streets, and the hell that I went through on that farm.

Mr. McVeigh exploited them to no end while Jason was on the stand and in some quite detail as I had told them all to Jason. I went into that with a ‘no secrets’ attitude with him. And he bloody well knew what my life was and he exploited it to know end. I vowed to get my revenge. Jason was a slime ball and he proved it in the last few hours. I also wanted to get some sort of revenge on that asshole attorney, but I knew not how.

I was not present for a lot of his testimony due to my injuries and my pneumonia I had had. I can only imagine what went on during those times that I was not there. I can truly say that after it was over and done with, and many years after obtaining the documents under the information act, and my own journals of the trial, that I am still appalled. I think of this as a rehash of all the abuse and then some.

I was raked over the coals further by that asshole. I know that Jason’s account was bullshit. I knew the truth. I was also aware that he deceived, and lied to me as well. In fact, worse than I had originally thought possible. Jason was on the stand for 11 days. Yes Angela did cross examine him. Yes, McVeigh crossed again to verify things. I would get my chance the following afternoon.

I vowed to get my revenge on that prick and the way I chose to do that would not be nice. The photo’s of my rape and beating were introduced and shown to the judge and the jury. Angela said to me later that there were grimaces and shock at the damage that was to me.

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Day 47:
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That morning seemed to pass quickly. Melanie was called to the stand and asked questions by Angela. Melanie recounted the night in question, “After an afternoon of chat and coffee with Melissa, I watched her get dressed and talked about her night with Jason. I could tell that the two of them seemed to be infatuated with each other. I knew that they had spent a lot of time and were looking forward to this night on the town. She looked nice (Melissa), she wore a very nice black dress and heels and her hair was done up in a really pretty way, and

her long red hair that she has complimented the dress.”

Angela: "Tell us about the attack,"

Melanie: “I heard shouting close to 8:30, I think, and then I heard a crash. I went upstairs and I saw that Melissa had fallen against the table. Jason was on top of her and was punching her in the face and chest. Her dress had a huge tear near her breasts.”

Angela: "What did you do?"

Melanie: “I had my portable phone with me, so I called 911 and told the operator that a domestic disturbance was in place above my place. I was told that an ambulance was on its way, I was told to stay on the line. I then saw Jason literally kick Melissa in the rib cage and then the groin area at least a dozen times. The brutality of those kicks was unreal; I knew that there must be a fuelled rage there. I was scared for her and I also knew that I could make it worse for her and even myself if I got involved. Those kicks and punches were brutal and absolutely violent."

Angela: Did Melissa try to do anything?"

Melanie: "She tried to cover herself up with her hands, which were doing no good to protect her.”

I was cringing as the account was being told and I was also crying. This was the first time I had heard of the account of my beating.

Melanie continued on with her testimony: “She was literally a bloody mess at this point, her dress was a shambles and her hair was a mess and bloody. She was literally covered in her own blood and next thing I knew Jason picked her up and slammed her through her kitchen wall. I heard bones crunch and snap. That happened all too quick, maybe 4 minutes had passed. There was still no sign of the EMS people or the cops. She lay in a crumpled heap on the floor and then all of a sudden Jason tore her panties and dress right off her and penetrated her violently and left a lot of blood while doing that. He then smirked and punched her more and gave a few extra kicks and then stood up and well he grinned at her and spit at her and walked past me in a stumble and a stagger and then said “HOPE THE BITCH IS DEAD, SHE DESERVES TO DIE”. I was shocked and then I heard the sirens approach and then they were here, I told them where she was and I told them I was
going to follow and see where he was going. I followed him back to the bar where he was at and called the cops on the payphone near the parking lot. I was so worried about Melissa, I was shaking when the cops arrived and told me to calm down. I was so angry and crying. I wanted to know where Melissa was and if they knew what was going on. I think I gave the cops that were trying to calm me down a severe case of the jitters. All I wanted to know was how she was doing, and what I saw and what that idiot did to her and I hoped and prayed that she was not dead. I also wanted to know what hospital she was at. The cop was frustrated I think and I kept talking a mile a minute. After I found out what hospital she went too, I was going to leave, but I was detained until I gave my statement. The cops brought Jason out of the Bar, and apparently he had slugged a patron and the bar tender and then the fight moved to the parking lot. He got into it with the cops and
well that lasted about 5 seconds as they took him down and cuffed him. I so wanted to punch him and kick the crap out of him”

The judge warned Melanie to keep her opinions to herself. Melanie then continued; “I was so desperate to find out how she was doing, I wanted to go and see her, I had to call people, my boyfriend included and to get back to my apartment to lock up and let him know where I was. I was frantic, I was also angry. I had so many things to do, I needed to get there and get things done.”

I was grateful to what Melanie did for me. I did not know her that well and I still consider her a friend to this day, she saved me from dyeing. Just like Jenn, Melanie was my savior. I cried and wept in court as this was being stated. I was also shaking. I glanced to Jason and he smirked and smiled. What a fuck up, what an asshole. He needed to have what happened to me happen to him and in a big way. Bubba would have a field day with his ass. I was so pissed off at what that son of a bitch Jason did to me, I was seething. I still have nightmares to this day of what he did.

Melanie continued on with her description of what Jason did to me and then McVeigh cross examined her and she repeated everything verbatim and added a few additional details of what she could to what Jason did to my body. As for injuries, Melanie knew that I definitely had broken ribs and legs as well as a broken up face and my eyes had swelled shut. She also stated that she wished she had stayed with me; however, she needed to follow Jason and call the cops to make sure that he was going to pay for what he did to me.

Like Jenn, Melanie was a godsend. I cannot thank her enough for what she did that day to save my life and those whom may have been out for the evening driving or walking. As I mentioned, he still haunts my nights as do my nightmares of what my “father” and “brother” did to me so long ago. I still shudder with those feelings and I know that they will never go away. Well maybe they will when I am buried.

In a lot of ways I wish I had died that night. I cannot help the way I feel though; up till now my life has been shit. I wonder to this point if it will get better or if it will get worse. I guess only time will tell.

The cross of Melanie and those other witnesses at the bar and the cops would occupy the remainder of the next two days, I so much wanted to be on the stand that afternoon, however, lawyer stalling and a recess delayed that opportunity for me. I would however get my chance on the stand. I was both scared and excited for this and hopefully put that asshole to rest at least as far as the court was to be. Jason’s judgment in my eyes was only a few weeks away. And I hoped a life sentence for his crimes against me.

I can only hope. I fully did not believe in the power of prayer. Looking back on it, there was a bit of prayer that day and the following days. I wished I did not have to relive it over again, I knew I would have to and the subsequent cross examination of McVeigh. I would need al the strength I would need to get through this. As battered and bruised as I was, I hoped I was going to make it.