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I began to wonder if I could escape this hell, without suicide. I wanted to live, even with my nightmares and scars. I pondered this question for some time now. I was now away from any kind of normal existence for almost two years. NOW, I began to question the standards that I set for life. I started to ask, by what by standards life is considered normal I certainly did not describe myself as such. How could I?

I was confused, and completely lost at 15, and very much insecure about life. In my many journeys across the country in the last two years I began to correlate my thoughts and feelings. Was there a resolution for me? I often thought 'NO WAY!' I guess I never gave it consideration after I left Jenn. I traveled west and set up "camp" and did my thing.

My thoughts and my dreams were I suppose just
a dream. I knew this in the back of my mind. In a way, they helped me to maintain my hold on my sanity. I also realized that I hadn't lost my childhood, my freedom, and my hopes when I left home at 15. Rather I escaped hell on earth then. Was I better for doing that? Was I good person for doing it? Would there be retribution for what I was doing?

There was a lot of internal confusion. I still struggle with those questions and many others today. But now, I do have Peace in my Heart. I know now that I am no longer alone. My resolve never ended as I walked and performed my nightly duties. I still resolved that sooner or later I would either escape this or I would be killed from it. But I did escape, in the end. It was an escape that I never thought possible, then.

My hair was now quite long, almost to my waist at this time. I kept it well groomed. My complexion was clear, with no zits, thank God. I weighed 135 at last weigh in at the walk in clinic. Still I resolved to find some answers for myself here, one way or the other! In June I would encounter a life altering event that would give me some perspective and a possible resolution to this affair...

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the first part of June was a normal routine for me. I started my "shift" if you would call it that at approximately 5:P.M. I always perched myself out on the main drag and/or in the business area. I was always so successful, that I would get my tricks and my fun for the night with as many guys as possible. Yes, I craved sex! Not the brutal rapes and beatings, rather I craved the tender, loving, and gentle acts where I felt the love that I so desperately wanted.

I was not always alone on the corner though, a lot of girls and boys were also there and we had staked out certain parts of that street as our own. We all strolled and we always looked out for each other. Consequences for our nightly strolls were common occurrences. There were rape gangs, who sought us out for their fun, and there were the police who would either help, or hinder us, depending upon the cop,

Girls and guys would come home bloodied and bruised. I was not immune either. It was a painful reminder of my consistent abuse I had endured for so many years. Would it end? I certainly had no idea.

The nineteenth of June provided me with a resolution, and I was shocked and definitely scared to death as to how close I actually came to death that night. This I will remember to the day I die. Let me first start by going back to the start of the night.

The afternoon was hot and humid for a June day, mid 80's and I was dressed in my tight black mini with a red halter top (cross over, one shoulder bare). The make up was perfect. I had all the essentials in my purse. I guess that I had serviced about 14 guys by the time midnight arose.

I had also made some substantial earnings which I would check later, by my estimation, about $500.

You see, we Tran’s girls were and still are paid quite generously. My clients always made me feel special. I know I did them. I was dropped off by my last "JOHN" at about 12:20 and started talking with some of the gals and guys at the corners. The streets were quit busy with cars, trucks vans, limos, etc. Even the bar crowds were venturing about in the hot humid night.

The next thing I knew I heard screams and shouts to get down. Everything went into slow motion as I heard shots from across the street where I was standing against the wall. What happened next, I will always remember.... My resolution came clear..........