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Synopsis: Melissa Dawne Northe was a girl, born in a boy's body. She was adopted by farmers, not knowing or caring about her unique needs. The first time that she is caught, she is beaten by her father until she passes out in the barn. Upon awakening, she finds that her parents despise her for what she had done, and force her to live out her dream as a nightmare, little knowing that she would lose hope.

As the beatings and rapes continue, she finally despairs of any hope as her Faith and Trust in God is destroyed by the constant rapes and humiliations she suffers from her family. She commits suicide by taking sleeping pills which give her some reprieve, but is short lived. In school, she finds a friend in her horse when she joins the 4-H club, but upon learning about her being given hormones, she slashes her wrists, leading to a hospital stay.

As Melissa grows older, she finds a perverse delight in taunting her abusers into further abuse, as she is home schooled now due to a suicide watch, Even as she is abused, her spirit refuses to die, and grows stronger as the abuse escalates as she becomes more feminine. At fifteen years of age, she finally decides to escape from her personal hell and run away into the night.

On the road, she meets a friendly truck driver who gives her a lift into the city where Jenn lives without forcing sex upon the waif. Jenn takes Melissa in and becomes her aide and confidant in the concrete jungle. Meeting one of Jenn's male friends, Melissa is once again raped and abused, ending her idyllic reprieve from her past. Melissa then decides to travel, getting away from the memory of the rape and becoming the streetwise savvy streetwalker that she needs to be in order to survive.

Later on, she returns to Jenn, a much wiser, yet needy lost little girl in need of sanctuary. While back home, she confides her deepest fears to Jenn who does what she can to help her broken friend. Melissa decides that she needs to travel again as that is her lot in life, seeking an answer to her question. Who Am I?

On the road, Melissa continues her travels and turning tricks until one fateful night that ended her days as a prostitute. While turning tricks, she was involved in a nearby shooting that left her shaken to her core, and with nightmares about that night, equal to those of being abused while growing up.

Returning to Jenn, Melissa finally decides to settle down and go to school. In school, she chooses to be a studious student, but finds that one student decides to take from her what she would prefer to give, or sell. Under Jenn's guidance, Melissa has him arrested, and he gets expelled. Then she finds that the girls start to accept her.

But Melissa is still carrying around a load of anger that prevents her from trusting men, Under Jenn's guidance, she finds a friend in Jason. Jason and Melissa began a friendship that ends because she can not trust men. Jason seems to understand, and is a friend as long as he is there. But in time both Jason and Jenn moved away where Jenn got a new job and Jason went for further schooling.

Melissa graduates from school and enters college where she earns her degree and enters the workforce, only to come down with MS, and epilepsy which brings her down until her counseling which alleviates much of her depression. Then, Melissa meets Melanie Dixon who befriends her. She becomes one of her closest friends, and when Jason returns, she helps Melissa to get ready for a date with him that ends in a brutal attack.

Melanie has the police to arrest Jason and calls 911 for her beaten friend. In the hospital, Melissa finally has the surgery that makes her a woman and through therapy, is able to go to Jason's trial which is almost too much for her. After the trial, Melanie moves away, so Melissa gets a girl to help her as by this time, she is stranded in a wheelchair.

Then, Melissa visits a Church where she finally finds Peace as she accepts the Love of God. It is during this time that she stars to organize her journals into a book, and finds her friends at Big Closet Top Shelf. While there, she discovers that there are those who would befriend her, which she can now accept.

Facing another surgery, she is ready to go home, her journey now over.

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I was chosen by Melanie Dixon to help with the last few pieces of Melissa's story to edit and post. Now she has agreed to this revision of the original. I do this to honor a lady who I call my sister. All that I ask is that when you read her story is that you follow her journey and find the Peace that she found.

STANMAN63