Tom, Dick and I, Harry had been best friends since primary school. How we had been teased for our names over the years. We stuck together through middle and high school. We hung out together. Got into trouble together. Somehow Tom always managed to extricate himself and I managed to shield Dick from the worst consequences. In high school we usually triple dated. We also stood together against the bullies. We were unfortunate in that we were considered to be “cute” in a girly way. Unfortunately that also invited some unwanted attention from the gay community. We weren’t. Gay that is.

We went to the same college even if we didn’t study the same programs. We shared a flat. We did the usual stupid things college students do. Somehow Tom always managed to extricate himself and I managed to shield Dick from the worst consequences. We fell in love with the same girl. We did NOT share the girl. That caused some friction.

Fortunately our friendship was strong enough to see us through that rough period until Anne finally made it clear that she loved Tom and nobody else. “Sorry Dick and Harry but I want to be your friend as well”. That could have broken up our little group but even if that meant that Tom was less present, he was always welcome also when Anne tagged along which she often did. She became the fourth mousquetaire. However, things weren’t really as before but Dick and I grew even closer.

Our friendship was even strong enough for me to accept that Tom chose Dick as his best man. As a “compensation” Anne roped me in to be responsible for most of the wedding arrangements. I was with Anne a lot of the time. I came to the conclusion that I was sort of maid of honor even if I wasn’t. I was there when she got the wedding dress. I was there for the choice of church. I arranged the dinner. The result was that I regretted even more her choice. She got so used to having me around that I probably saw many things that she never intended me to see such as her naked several times. She had some strange quirks. She intended to give a speech and worked and worked on it and her presentation. She rehearsed how to “glide” in her wedding dress. She even kept practicing how to throw her weeding bouquet.

All her practice paid off. Well, combined with my not inconsiderable effort. I wanted everything to be perfect for two people I cared immensely for. Everything went perfectly. That is until Anne threw her wedding bouquet. Despite all her practicing she got it completely wrong. Instead of flying towards the shoal of maidens it flew straight into the arms of Dick.

Dick looked completely shocked and all the people laughed. Seeing Dick with the bouquet was like a punch in my belly. I went up to Dick and got down on one knee. No need to spell out why. What an irony that she’d been named Dick! Dick had never told us his/her secret. How much pain that must have caused her. Still, it’s damned hard to keep such a secret from your best friend. I had respected her secret. I had probably been wrong and seeing her there with the bouquet made me realize that I couldn’t live without her.

Well, that was one upstaged wedding. The crowd was split between those looking shocked and appalled and those clapping wildly.

It was only at OUR wedding that I realized that my wife was not the only who couldn’t keep a secret from a very good friend. It was only when looking past my lovely bride and I seeing the maid of honor’s Cheshire cat smile that it struck me that Anne had NOT missed.