Black Cat Investigations – that’s what it says on the door to my downtown office.,

I’m Black by the way. No, I don’t mean that I’m black. Do I confuse you? What I mean is that my name is Black but I don’t have any African roots (that I know about). Actually, I’m white, almost albino white, blonde (nice wavy hair), 6’4”, 200 lbs almost purely muscles apart from the skeleton, firm chin, chiseled features, snappy dresser and so on.

The name on the door really is a red herring since my greatest asset is that I’m extremely lucky, mostly. I’m lucky in that somehow people automatically get the impression that I’m competent and trustworthy. The last part is true but I have to admit that I’m not really that smart. Dogged, certainly but not smart. However, I am lucky. For example, one of my first cases involved the Native Indian run casino just outside the city. By pure luck I solved a case that could have had serious political effects. As a result I’m always very welcome at the casino, as long as I don’t gamble.

It was also by pure luck that during the same case I saved the life of the most despicable gutter rat possible that was also devoid of all morals. What used to be that boy is now my b b b … assistant. I had intended to say beautiful assistant. Too bad I’m a lousy liar. The 19 year old girl that she is now can’t even by stretching the truth be called beautiful. Pretty is another inapplicable adjective. Cute? Only if you consider a shrimpish 19 year old ugly bimbo with vacuous eyes desperately dressing to try to look like a cute 13 year old to be cute. Oh, Allie has her uses. By the way she is the Cat in the name. People often think that is short for Catherine. Not so. Cat is Allie’s family name.

Some people think that I keep her around for romantic reasons, or more likely for sex. NO WAY. I’d never consider doing anything like that with her. To begin with I’m 100% gay. Secondly, I prefer big well-muscled guys like myself. One example was the prime male specimen that entered my office a week ago. Very much my mirror image except that his hair was pitch black. Oh, I liked what I saw but the company had a reputation of professionalism to keep up. We were the most highly regarded (and most expensive) private investigators in the city. Partly due to the persona I had built up, partly due to the confidence people automatically had in me and to no small degree dependent on the company track record: 99% of cases solved. Beat that if you can!

As it turned out the case turned out be rather straight-forward. Industrial espionage. The only thing that made it exceptional was the amounts of money involved. I almost, but only almost, betrayed my chock when Alfred told me about the potential sums at stake. I accepted to take the case. So what if I was attracted to Alfred, the young, handsome and wealthy entrepreneur hiring me. That had nothing to do with it.

Some PIs skulk around in trench coats trying to ferret out secrets. I prefer to make a grand entrance in my exquisitely tailored suit. Always accompanied by Allie of course. My experience is that the bold approach combined with my reputation often unsettles the culprits in such a way that they make stupid mistakes that reveal them. Sometimes henchmen panic and sell out their accomplices as soon as they hear that I’m on the case. Sometimes there are other developments. Why bring Allie? Well, she has her uses.

After throwing my weight around for a couple of days, including quite a lot of nice interaction with Alfred, I was a bit incautious and let slip that I had broken the case and was about to reveal everything to Alfred that night. Walking up the path to his house I felt a shock in my shoulder. I had just time enough to think: “Oh no, not again!” before blacking out (yeah, I know, ironic given my name).

I woke up several hours later in hospital. By that time the culprit had already been booked. Another solved case! Allie was by my bedside. Not the “public” Allie. The real one. The one with the intelligent eyes that moved with feline grace. Only it was more like a panther than a cat (don’t, I repeat, DON’T get into a fight with her). The Allie that still objectively was dead ugly but somehow just oozed sexiness.

I looked reprovingly at her and said

- Boss, you promised that you’d get the guy before him shooting me already last time you used me as a stalking horse. This is the third time I get shot!

It’s not often that I see Allie embarrassed. This was one of those rare moments. She certainly should be. She really is much better at her job than that!

- Tell you what Mike. I’ll let you buy 5% of the shares in Black Cat Investigations. That way you’ll have 35%. And just to show how sorry I am I’ll let you have them at par.

Having said that she smiled and waved at me. She left the room and I could see Alfred waiting there with some flowers. Too bad they weren’t for me. They hugged each other and walked away.

Yep, Allie is the senior partner in Black Cat Investigations. She is the really smart one of us Her public persona is invaluable when snooping around while everyone focuses on me. In my defense I have to say that sometimes I’m the one that cracks our cases. Possibly 1 in 5. All right, 1 in 7 to be honest. At least!

I don’t really mind. I earn much more thanks to Allie than I would by my own. I’m respected within the profession as well as among the general public. I have a very nice social standing. I like the attention I get as well as the invitations to all the big social events. Even when getting shot I have been lucky and never got seriously injured. I can live with that. Probably!

Despite all that I think the time has come for Allie and me to part ways. I like and respect her. Professionally, financially and reputation-wise I’d be a complete fool to break with her.

However, I just can’t live with the fact that EVERY guy I fall in love with ends up in HER bed.