I forgot to tell you that on Saturday, that we had toured the USS Cook as we were invited to do. They did not fully know when they were to sail back to their Mediterranean port. They expect it to be by Christmas, or before the New Year at the latest. Since we had seen them on Wednesday, Jennifer Fields was promoted to full Lieutenant. She did not tell us what area of the ship that she would serve over.

We met Mid-shipman Robert Paul Anderson again as well as several midshipmen, who were close to our age. The youngest being eighteen having graduated from high school the previous school year. Several of our girls who came were especially happy to meet them. Needless to say, I was not one of them.

Robert Paul Anderson said, “Several of the guys and one of the ensigns, had to be told who you were as they found you attractive.” Well, I already knew about the ensign a woman who had identified herself during their visit to our school.

I had asked her, “Is it as Dort or Robert that you find me attractive?”

“I probably shouldn’t say. Just remember that I haven’t met Robert.”

We were limited in the pictures we could take. And while things such as their radar and solar screens were filled with blips of aircraft and watercraft enthralled us; such places were off-limits to cameras and any phone. The blips on the screens filled the skies over New York City and New Jersey and on the waterways for a good distance. It was like science fiction to be down in those darkened areas. We didn’t understand half of what the radar and sonar people could detect. But seeing the ship and faces of the crew; made it more personal to all of us.

Lieutenant Fields gave me a white scarf she had worn. We were alone when she asked, “Is it likely that we will see you, Dort, upon our return here or Philadelphia in late spring?”

I was not sure what to say in reply. “Are you really expecting that I might be Dort for your return?”

She said, “Ensign Triens and I have talked and there have been others. We’ve gotten the sense that you enjoy part of your life as a girl. One of your friends mentioned you are choosing to be Rose for Christmas. That sounds like you’re being comfortable with being a young woman.”

I hurried to say, “I am doing that because it is the only Christmas I get as a girl part of the time.”

Jennifer Fields had a smile that suggested otherwise. “While I do agree, it could be a fun treat for the right person. Doing it would seem to me, to suggest you have become very comfortable Rose.”

She showed me a small wrapped gift with an indication I should take it. But there were comments that I shouldn’t consider that it was from them. I stashed it in my larger bag that already was holding the scarf she gave me.

On our way back home I took a glimpse at the gift and Anne also got a glimpse of it. She asked, “Did Jennifer Fields give you that?”

“It’s nothing, please forget that you saw it.”

Anne said, “I saw the scarf Jennifer gave you. She gave me a pair of white dress gloves. I think you should be happy that they treat you as one of us girls.”

Back to life as normal, though normal now is anything but normal for a healthy boy. Monday afternoon we were home and I was practicing three songs that we might sing the following Sunday at Grandma’s church. I like the three songs we chose to practice and focus on: ‘O Holy Night’, ‘Mary Did You Know?’ and ‘O Come All Ye Faithful’. While the songs are familiar, it was strange to be singing them as Rose.

Sierra was the first to say, “Rose, you have a surprisingly good voice. You are a definite soprano.” My sisters were all agreeing as we took a break.

I asked, “Mother, did you hear that. They think I have a good voice as a girl?”

My mother looked up and said, “Yes, I heard and I agree, but I’m a little surprised that you seem happy with that. I thought you were upset at being coerced to be a girl. And now it sounds like you’re happy about it. I could tell over the past month that you were getting better at using your feminine voice. But I didn’t want to upset you by commenting about it.”

It was confusing to me that they were happy that I was singing with my sisters a Grandma’s church. But I was getting mixed messages because I was singing well as a girl. As usual, I went to Shannon. She agreed that I was doing well and that I should enjoy it, as long as I didn’t feel pressured to do it.

We practiced for over another half hour, and we were starting to sing a little more in parts.

We were back and forth later from Shannon’s to Sonja’s bedrooms. We were all meeting with other friends tonight. I put on a full skirt. Sierra complimented me on how my legs were looking very pretty. While I was kind of please, I’m getting ambivalent feelings about how much, I’m Rose.

The feeling of my stockings going up my legs reassures me that I like being Rose. Even my boyhood enjoys being neatly cradled away. I brought my makeup into Shannon’s room to use her vanity as I put it on. I’m liking the fact that when I do my face, Rose easily comes to the forefront.

Shannon compliments the choice of my makeup.

I am surprised as it is Therese Jeters who drove to pick me up. Yes, Anne was with her, the party is with the cheer team. I was confused. Mom greets them at the door and welcomes them into the house. Mom hands them an overnight bag. She says, “I hope this is what you wanted. If Rose isn’t comfortable doing it, do not force her. You just call after the party and one of us will pick her up. That way the rest of you can continue to enjoy your night.

Therese smiles saying, “If anyone should be nervous about a sleepover with the cheer team it should be me. I’m the only girl who is not a member of the cheer team.”

I speak up and interrupt them, “What is this about a sleepover? I wasn’t told about the sleepover. I was told it would be our cheer team’s Christmas party.”

Anne shyly says, “Oh, I was sure, we said, to plan for more like usual.”

“You indicated there might be more, but no one said anything more to me.” ‘Definitely, there was no mention about a sleepover… Oh, I get it. It wasn’t mentioned to me because I can’t do it.’ I’m trying not to let any hurt show. I know they shouldn’t have to cancel something like that because of me.

Anne said, “How can you be so naïve Rose? You just saw your mother hand us an overnight bag.”

Shannon's now standing next to our mother. “Gee, little sis. You weren’t told because no one wanted you to be nervous. They had to get permission from so many parents and the coach.”

Shannon turned her attention to Anne and Therese, “I probably shouldn’t mention this, but besides Robert having classes in dance and tumbling when he was smaller. He first started mimicking me when I was a cheerleader and actually practice with Sierra at home when she needed to practice a new routine.”

I knew I was turning red from embarrassment. I grabbed my coat, an older coat of Sonja’s, and started for the door. “Let’s get going or I’m going to lose my nerve and stay home.” I was out the door with Anne and Therese following me. Shannon ran up to me and I was about to yell at her. Then I saw she was holding my purse.

Shannon gives me a hug and holds me for a moment. “Relax, you are not above being teased. Please don’t tell me, Rose, you’ve lost your sense of humor.” She takes a half-step back, wanted to say something more, but some emotions got to her. “Go, before, you see your big sister, lose it.”

I turned and sought to get into the back of the car without Anne or Therese seeing my emotions well up inside me.

Anne handed me a tissue, she said, “Make sure, you don’t ruin your makeup.” I mumbled, my thanks.

We were soon moving along, on our way to meet the others. They had three large tables end to end for our group. There were the cheerleaders, Connie, and Jayne who I worked with me doing the little extras, and Meg who was like the trainer and support student. And then over half the girls had boyfriends along. Coach Alexis House and her infant daughter Katie. Sandra and Sharon as the cheer captains were giving directions and choreographed the party.

With the number of boyfriends, who were there I was feeling like an extra. Brady Thomas came over near me and I was kind of surprised. I asked, “What are you doing here? Are you in with one of the team and I didn’t know it?”

Brady said, “I’m with someone and it’s probably to your surprise, but I’m here to be with you. Anne asked me to come thinking you’d feel strange, not having a friend with you.”

“I thought you had just been around when Anne thought I needed protection?”

He said, “That was over three weeks ago. I’ve begun liking to be with you. I thought we were becoming good friends. We even danced some at the last school dance.”

It kind of felt strange, thinking of him as a boy and a close friend. When I moved closer to him and he put his hand around my waist. It actually felt kind of nice. We found two chairs next to each other and enjoyed ourselves. Despite all of us being from the same school and knowing each other. Sharon and Sandra had team members stand and introduce themselves and their significant friends.

It wasn’t until they were getting to Anne, did I worry. When Anne introduced Pete and he kissed her like some of the other guys had done, that I began to worry even more. Therese even had Brian who was with her. And next, it was my turn.

I introduced myself and kind of stumbled in thought. Anne hummed and then said, “Aren’t you forgetting your manners?”

I motioned for Brad to stand, “Brady is my protecting knight.” Someone said, “Can he kiss you if he wants?”

I began to say, “He could but I don’t think he would want to.” But Brady stepped forward and gave me a warm kiss on the lips. I hugged him and started to say, ‘Thanks.’ But this time I felt the compulsion to kiss him. “Sorry, there are some reactions creeping into my life that I can’t explain.”

The next thing I knew, Coach Alexis House was speaking to us. “I am going to say only a few words and I appreciate being with you. But Katie and I will soon leave you alone. I do want to thank you. Each year’s cheer team becomes special in its own way. This year’s team, because of circumstances has been more so. Sandra and Sharon, you’re doing an excellent job of leading and keeping this group working as a team. We’ve begun a new tradition with Dort the Destroyer, and I’m very sure there will never be another quite like our first Dorothy.”

She continued, “I want to thank Anne, Therese, and even Brady for helping to make it work. I am thankful for the effort Dort has put into helping it to continue as a team of girls. When Robert had his little meltdown in the gymnasium and Anne had gotten hurt. I was afraid the season was irreparably harmed and we wouldn’t recover. Everyone has risen to the occasion and it may end up being one of the best years’ ever.”

"I thank all of you who have helped me with Katie and juggling the attention I’ve sometimes needed to give to her when I’m also the coach. This has been an excellent year to bring attention to girls’ athletics. It would have been a shame with the caliber of girls competing in so many activities.

“The last thing is to thank you for going out of your way and helping to advertise for the girls’ ensembles for their holiday program. Connie told me you had listened to both the musicians and singers practicing. Knowing that very few know how good this program would be; you took it upon yourselves to take time to develop a little bit of advertisement and public relations for them.”

With the Coach gone, the girls decided to take extra time there to dance and visit with their friends. Mary Err and Jayne James, alias JJ, enjoyed being out together in the public and having the Cheer Team support them. JJ said, “Brady, it is an extra joy for us to have you and Dort together. How long have you two been an item?”

Brady said, “I’ve liked Robert for well over a year, but he didn’t know it was like this for me.” He was right, I hadn’t realized it until he acknowledged it now. I had thought he got caught up in things like I did.

There he was happily smiling and I didn’t know what to say. ‘Honestly, it woke me up to how others looked at us. The fact that I wasn’t repulsed that another boy liked me was a surprise. But now being friends, affectionate friends, now seemed natural.

We shared two slow dances and I confessed my surprise at liking another boy as Dort. He asked, “So what happens if others catch on that Rose likes this knight?”

“I’m guessing it is not a matter of if. I think that’s just a matter of time. I don’t see myself like other guys. It’s my coming to like being a girl and accepting my feelings for you.” It was then I felt that Brad was aroused, and knew I too felt my affections for him become warmer.

It was then that Sharon sprinkled some crushed ice down my back. I know she enjoyed my reaction. Sharon said, “I am happy to get back at you. I know you have done it to the likes of my sister, Charlene.” Now that you’re being a girl, can you tell me why a boy needs to do those things? It’s like you’re afraid to tell her you like her.”

“It’s not like, I’m attracted to every girl I’ve done it to. I would rather be friends and just talk naturally like we are friends. A boy talks to a girl and people assume you really like her, like a boy-girl thing.”

Sharon said, “Well now you can talk to me as a friend. We can talk about makeup, panties, and if you should wear something so your bra shows. …If you’d like it, I and Mark would double date with you and Brady or any other boy you would fancy.”

Sharon asks if I would dance with her. It was a slow dance and would give us a chance to talk some more. I know you still like girls. I just want to ask you to wait until the cheer team is done in the spring before you ask Anne or someone on the team for a date. That’s even if you decide to be Rose Anderson until the end of the school year.”

I shake my head and stop dancing a little before the dance is through. I ask, “Why would you say anything like that. Why would I want to be Dort or a girl any longer than I have to?”

She says, “Because after you don’t have to, you might find it hard to stop. I think you like to be a girl more than you had. It might be even harder when the bright colors and spring clothes are out.”

I run for the door because I’m about ready to cry. Thankfully, Sharon and Therese catch me. Sharon’s saying, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Don’t leave or get angry with me.”

I turn and bury my eyes in her shoulder, “I’m not angry with you. Who told you?”

Sharon said, “Who told me what?”

I said, “I thought I didn’t tell anyone. So who told you? That I think I want to be a girl. I was afraid to say it out loud.” Sharon draws back like she’s surprised and her mouth rounds out as to say ‘Oh’, but she catches herself.

Then she takes hold of me with two hands “OMG, I have to take this in.” I look to Therese, and she’s nodding her head in agreement.

Therese asks, “You’ve been talking and acting like a girl so much that I’ve been taken with you. I wouldn’t wish this on a boy, but Rose causes my panties to dampen…”

To be continued...