It was cold outside when the Destroyer women were welcomed back at school the next day at noon. There were over a hundred students, teachers, parents, and friends. That might not sound like a lot but usually, there are only a few parents. The girls weren’t expecting this. We the Cheer Team were at the front of the bus and got off quickly to lead the cheers for the team. Everyone enjoyed the smiles and surprise of the players because they welcome home the team.

I was cheering and kicking up my legs with the other cheerleaders. We excited the crowd while making sure the attention went to the players and coaches. Kristin Hadley’s mom complimented me, “Dort you are doing such a great job and you’ve become another one of the girls. I know Kristin is thrilled by attention all of you have brought to the girls’ games. …Did you see today’s sports section? The girls’ tournament championship was on the first page. It talked about the Destroyers’ basketball team. It was six paragraphs in before there was any mention of it being the girls’ team. Do you have any idea, how unusual that is?”

“Yes, Mrs. Hadley. It was like you and others just mentioning me as part of the Cheer Team, but it has taken a long time for the women Destroyers to get such recognition.”

We were interrupted, Mr. and Mrs. Papas, of the Destroyers’ Den, had called Coach Daley and said the basketball team was invited to a party held in their honor. Pizza and some drinks were being served free.

People at church the next day were surprised when three of us girls asked for prayers for the USS Cook and other ships and sailors. We knew that Therese and others would each do it at their church worship service. It is not like we go to church all the time, but like with Twitter or Google, it was another place we could share.

My mother asked me to invite some friends over later in the afternoon. She also invited her friend Dr. Grace to meet with us. It seemed childish at first when she asked us to draw and name some sailors we knew. Aronia’s older brother was also there; Trevor knew a friend Skylar and others on an aircraft carrier. We were about through with Dr. Grace; when he finally admitted he too was scared for his friends. He was surprised when others hugged him like they knew what he was feeling. Trevor said, “I hope you won’t tell others that I almost cried.”

Aronia said, “Trevor, you said Skylar was scared too, you shouldn’t be embarrassed.”

Kristin Hadley, who likes Trevor said, “We won’t tell. But you’re our best linebacker Trevor; I don’t think there’s any question about your courage.”

Trevor to change the subject said, “Courage is a guy wearing a short skirt and skimpy panties.”

Dr. Grace said, “Please stop joking like that. I don’t want anyone breaking the mood for those concerned about what’s going on. Anyone done here can go upstairs. I’ll be staying around at least thirty minutes, and as long as needed.”

Trevor asked, “Anyone willing to be in a smaller group with me?” Kaylea, Kristin and Trisha moved over with him. Ann, Sharon, Brady, Aronia and I circled over in a corner. Brady said, “Dort, I’m impressed on how well you’re holding together through all this.”

“I’m staying busy or rolling in a ball with Shannon listening to me,” I confessed. Brad leaned against me, wrapping me in his arms. I didn’t want to appear weak any more than Trevor, but it felt good. I’d rather snuggle with anyone and not say much.

Something pinged on my phone and a message showed. There was a message, “We hear Little Dog moved forward not back. All packages safe. Congratulations!”

Dr. Grace came over to us as did others. She said, “That’s nice, they were allowed to break their silence to celebrate with you.” Dr. Grace winked at me; I was sure she knew it meant more.”

‘All packages safe’ seemed to be a message about their situation, not ours. There was a valuable supply ship they were escorting and if a guess of my Dad’s was possible, a submarine underneath them would be considered a third package.

I took some consolation from the message. There was no indication who sent the message; I didn’t know who could do that, but the government was one good possibility.

Many of the girls began to cry in relief as did I. I was upset with myself that I was not strong like Bradley was. I got up pouting and walking around. Shannon came into the room and seeing what I was doing came over and hugged me.

I got mean and tried to break free, but Shannon said. “You calm down and have a good cry if you need too.” I tried to resist her and break free. Mom came into the room as I was yelling.
She said, “You calm down young woman. It is nothing to be ashamed of whether it’s Robert or Rose.” Mom moved to hug me as Shannon was now hurting. I knew better than hurt my mother. I let go of her and grabbed Shannon again.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Now I began to cry in earnest. The Evening news confirmed the supply ship and escort had safely gotten through.

I did surprisingly well on my final exams; and found out my sisters usually got to shop for a new outfit as a reward. Once Anne found that out from Sonja. She got permission to take me as Rose to shop. I still liked watching the bowl games but was willing to miss a game to look for a warmer outfit.

I had wanted to get a pair of leggings and top for workouts. The various designs and how they looked on me filled a few hours of trying and eliminating different selections. I was able to get two workout outfits with the money my parents allotted.

Mom thought I did really well; while Dad saw it to mean Rose was more entrenched in my life.

We went back to school on January 3, I intended to go back to classes as Robert. That didn’t happen when I realized it was a game day and I was to wear Dort’s uniform.
I guess it was meant to be as there were several banners up by the School office.

Principal Evans had received a thank you from the Commander of the US Navy. Principal Evans called the two coaches and two members of the basketball team and another two from the cheer team as well as me. She said, “This is not officially about what has happened. The Navy and spouses are all thankful for the added support you have given. Aubrey, one of the spouses plans to come and thank you. Not only for what you mean to those aboard the USS Cook. I guess their talking to you has helped some of the men to become more caring toward their families.”

That day and those following began to move along faster. I wasn’t always Rose or Dort. It was mid-January when Sonja said I should wear a pad in my panties in sympathy with the other girls. Instead that day and the next I was back to being Robert with the exception of practice. The second day didn’t go so well when another boy decided he’d cut my hair.

I was upset that morning with something else that Sonja had said. But when Turk came at me with a pair of scissors, it was Sonja who happened to be there to first try and stop him.

It angered me enough when he threw her aside that I found the strength to grab his hand and twist it until he yelled. His fingers were caught in the scissors. I even heard one finger crack when I hit it against the wall.

I too was going to be disciplined because Turk had to go to the hospital. The Vice-Principal said I first should have reasoned with him. I wasn’t disciplined, because my parents were finally enraged that he was still trying to punish me in some way.

Principal Evans, however, was pleased as it would be another strike against the Vice-Principal. He was being allowed to finish his contract for this year, but he had not given the school board enough to fire him.

The following day was a game day so I wore my Spirit paraphernalia and was to school early to decorate the girls’ lockers. The women Destroyers were still undefeated and tonight on the Panthers’ court, it could be in jeopardy. We were over fourteen wins and the players were feeling the pressure of being really good, game after game.

I had lost another five pounds since the first of January. Dr. Kristyn Arnold agreed with me. I was merely losing weight because I was eating better and more like the others on the cheer team. “Robert has shown he can go back to being a boy and when he identifies more like one of the boys’ he will go back to eating like one.”

I was excused with the rest of the cheer team at 2:30 t0 go get a manicure and our fingernails all painted the same.

Audrey, my decorum coach came with little Marie. “Rose, I want you to know my support for you and to make sure you’re alright?” I was holding Marie in my arms when she said, “Robbie, I need to go to the toilet?” Anne was going to take her as Audrey was having her own nails done. But Marie was ready to cry, “No, I need Robbie to do it.” I had helped her at her house or at mine when they came to visit.

Needless to say, I got some ribbing for being selected over Anne. It also became known I had become a babysitter for Audrey and Marie.

Audrey was now another month and a half further along in her pregnancy and it was showing. Sharon said, “Rose that is another thing you don’t have to deal with along with the monthly visitor.”

Audrey heard the comment and responded, “That’s too bad because Rose would be an excellent mother. I have told her she could adopt.” Sharon looked at me and somehow she and the others knew enough not to tease further.

The Panthers had made this game 'fill the gym special'. It was so full, many of our fans were standing through most of the game. And well into the third quarter, it was truly a tough contest with the lead changing from one team to the other. We had just tied the game at 50-50 when our Coach had them change to a full-court press and each player covering her player tightly.

It resulted in two quick scores and several fouls being called on the Panthers. Trisha was fouled and it sent her rolling on the floor and hurt. She would have come out of the game, but a referee insisted she and not another player take her foul shots. Trisha was not a bad foul shooter but her percentage was 70% when she wasn’t hurt. Erin Se who was to take her place shot better than 90% in shoot fouls.

And though Trisha made her free throws, the other team took the ball out before she could be replaced. The result was Trisha played the remaining minutes of the third period and much of the fourth. The Destroyers had hung on for a 73-66 victory.

I was caught in the crowd trying to leave from the game and found myself being felt up by others in the crowd. Once I turned and was ready to hit a person, but there were a grandmother and her grandchildren. I turned back and saw three people walking away laughing as they would look back at us and smile.

The fact that it happened to other girls, wasn’t much or a consolation. Ann said, “If it’s any consolation it probably means those guys see you as a good looking girl.”

I said, “No, it just makes it creepier to have guys like that touch me.”

Ann asked, “Are you saying, you never did anything like that?”

It made me think, ‘I had allowed a wave push me into a good looking girl that I wanted to speak to.’ “I did it once when I was eleven and I was caught by my sisters. They punished me severely.” Ann saw my facial expression change as I said it. She grasped there was more to the story, but she didn’t ask me as others were close by.

On the way back to school when Anne mentioned the incident, several girls took to showing me pinch or slap marks they had. I was then pressed to show my marks if I had any. Lucky or not, one was turning black and blue and bruising I lifted just a small portion of my panty.

Come Ground Hog’s Day the girls had three more wins and were still undefeated. I had almost lost my cool at the last game. I went to visit Audrey Trullo, my personal coach. I went as Robert, or Robbie as Marie would call me. Audrey asked me to sit and saw that I was looking around. Are you looking for Marie, her father Nick took her out for a while so we could talk?

She says, “Rob, look at how you’re sitting. Even as Rob now our hands are in your lap and you’re sitting straight up. What has you so tense nowadays?”

“Mrs. Trullo, I’m getting wrapped up in the girls' basketball team and communicating with those on board of our ship. ...I guess Deb Triens had to stay on the radar when someone became sick. They’re not saying anything bad about her, but I think it was hard for her. And now she’s communicating with us and I feel pressure to come up with nice things to say. I’m worried about upsetting her, and I wouldn’t even know it.”

“One, call me coach or Audrey. I hear you are carrying a lot of responsibility with the team, and the ship and now Debra Triens. And that doesn’t include trying to be Dort or Rose a lot of the time.”

“What happened at the last game that made Coach House tell you to go cool off?”

I said, “The referees called some terrible fouls, we could have lost the game if someone didn’t speak up.”

She said, “So you think the refs heard you and changed how they were calling fouls?”

I said, “Yes, even Turk and his friend Jerry said so.” Audrey smiled when I gave my proof.

“Since when do you listen to Turk and not the girls on your team?” I bowed my head because I had already talked to Coach House and even Coach Daley of the basketball team had a talk with me.

Audrey smiled and said, “It gets to you being a nice girl now and then. Do your teammates ever get angry?”

“Now you’re being silly, you know girls get angry and upset. But I’m not like them yet?”

Audrey asked, “When or how long do you think it will take to become a girl like them.”

“You know, I’m never going to be a girl like them.”

Audrey said, “Compare and tell me what makes you angrier: that sometime the girls will lose a game, that you won’t ever become a girl or that you don’t know for sure how Deb Triens is doing?”

I said, “That’s not fair; you’re trying to get me to say it’s about trying to be a girl. Yes, having more emotions and feeling attached to people is new for me. It frustrates me.”

There’s a knock at the front door, and I get up to answer it…

To be continued…