It was two days after Christmas and the Destroyers were due to leave for the tournament. Like last year we were up early to see the basketball team off. We were due to take leave even earlier the next morning. The basketball team was still undefeated, yet the tournament had even a tougher group of teams than last year. All the other teams would all be from much larger teams.

Coach House was happy as I didn’t need a special chaperone this year; which was good news as neither my mom nor my other two sisters wanted to go. Coach House did warn me, “If I hear of anything out of the ordinary your parents will be called and you’ll be going home. And please do not go walking around alone, especially at night.”

Our bus trip the next day was very enjoyable. I am not yet focused enough to paint nails on a bus, but I’ve become extra good at brushing girls' hair and doing French brads. Being a Wednesday there was a good mixture of business and holiday travelers stopping us from making good time as we travel.

Audrene text me, 'She would be at the tournament with Marie and if I could not be a good girl.' She knew about Anne and me reinforcing the idea we needed to be on good behavior.

The coach had our supply of tournament shirts that she finally handed out as we neared our destination. Like a number of girls, I was warm enough that I didn’t want to put the new shirt over my cheer sweater. So off came our sweaters. Even with my bra still on it was visible that my boobs were filling out. Which brought some ous and aahs, until Sharon said, “Everyone behaves you know she’s a girl. Treat her just like another one of us, don’t get caught by the media giving them an excuse to make up something about our team.”

I slipped on my shirt and the bus soon returned to normal. Once we were at the hotel Gabriel a new cheerleader to our varsity team was named as my roommate. She had the enthusiasm I had last year as a new girl on the team. It was her first overnight trip.

We were to keep on our tournament tops while putting on our cheer skirts. Gabby is very athletic and quite capable of doing flips and more gymnastic routines like Sharon, Jenn, and me. Anne had improved immensely but as a co-captain, her task was usually to focus on the team’s synchronization and have the team ready for the next cheer.

Once the cheer team was ready Coach had us going to where the basketball team was. Everyone could tell they were nervous as they were scheduled to take on the Trenton team seeking revenge from last year's loss. It was a surprise that two extremely tough teams were paired in the first round. Kaylea’s left foot was doing well with the extra rest.

With a six o’clock tip-off they would be the first of two prime time games the first evening. So far there were no surprises in the games already played, but for either the Trenton Tigers or the Destroyers to lose, someone would be considered upset. Gone for the Destroyers was any illusion of being a Cinderella team. The first fifteen minutes were not like the previous year where the Destroyers jumped out to a sizeable lead. Trenton was barely ahead and the lead already changed five times. Soon the Destroyers had a 22-20 lead, but the Tigers had the ball. A long three-point basket changed the lead for the sixth time. It would be 35-36 at halftime, but being a point down meant little with another half to go. Jayne being Dort surprised the South Jersey crowd. It was only when I did a series of flips near the end of the first half, that most people began to recognize me from last year.

Jayne as Dort continued to receive the majority of this year’s communication from the USS Cook. But it was my phone that was ringing come half-time. It was Debra, “Rose, you need to tell Coach Daley, that Erin and Trish are both playing too soft on defense. We also think Trish passed up at two or three shots she should have taken. I thanked her for the information. Anne who overheard the conversation asked, “Are you going to tell Coach Daley what she said?”

“I learned last year that Coach Daley knows what to do and that she hears from too many people with good intentions. The simple answer is, ‘No’.”

There are always changes during half-time in a tough game and this was to be no different. The Destroyers took a seven-point lead early in the second half as Kaylea and Shelby a new player this year each hit two three-point shots. Shelby’s second basket came as a desperate shot with the shot clock winding down. I was cheering as she let loose her shot. I saw a smile come to her face, she knew she was on target. Her making the shot took the air of the opponent.

When their coach called a timeout, I went tumbling onto the court. Fortunately, Sharon and Anne brought the cheer team and told me what cheer we were to do. We had a nine-point lead when Kaylea went up shooting a basket. Fouled, she landed hard on her left foot and came up gingerly as she made her way to the foul line. A timeout was taken after she made her second basket. Unfortunately, Kaylea talked to the coach to leave her in. Within three minutes it became obvious that her ankle was more severely hurt.

It made the remainder of the game to be played with a high degree of uncertainty as Trenton made a feverish run to tie and regain the lead. The good news was Shelby, Jenn, and Trisha were up to the task of holding them off. The defense suffered but the offense was hot and kept us in the lead. The 79-75 victory was bittersweet. The team would move on to the next bracket but Kaylea was done for the tournament if not quite a few games.

The Destroyers wouldn’t play until four o’clock or eight, but the Cherry Hill Cougars, the Tournament favorite was to be our opponent. One team with a perfect record was would be handed a loss. Not having our star player did not bode well for us.

The basketball team and the cheer team shared a victor’s pizza supper. None of us were in the best mood, but it was the cheer team’s unwritten job behind the scenes to lift the spirits of the basketball players. We’d spent a lot of energy cheering the team for what they had done.

We had a longer night than we were used to in getting ready for the next game. We did decorations and spirit bags to greet the team come morning.

Once back to the room, Gabby asked me, “Is it always this hard after a tough game like this?”

I truthfully answered, “I don’t know. I haven’t experienced such a hard-fought win, complicated with the loss of a player of Kaylea’s caliber.” We have talent, but last year’s team had strong chemistry by now. Tomorrow, we’ll see if this team is there.” Gabby was visibly shaken and I stayed up until she fell asleep. I felt I did not have the sensitivity or ability to bounce back as a normal girl would. It was three-thirty closing in on four when I felt safe in communicating to Debra aboard the Cook.

The bad news was Debra was on duty; the good news was Tyree Robins one of the new Ensigns had been a cheerleader and took the call. I lost sleep-time but the talk was worth it. I don’t know if all of Tyree’s words were true, or purely for the purpose of lifting my spirits, but they worked.

Sierra and Sonja, who said weren’t coming to the tournament, were there at two o’clock on Thursday. It is like my sisters to be there for me when things get rougher.

It was three o’clock before I was able to see Kaylea. She was hobbled with crutches and a brace around her leg. While she had sprained her left foot again, the tibia in her left leg was discovered to have a hairline fracture.

Coach put it, “The break might be a blessing in disguise. While the leg mends itself, it will force Kaylea to take the needed time to heal. While she may miss much of the regular games she hopefully will be healthy come the district playoffs.”

Coach Daley was not accepting that a loss was inevitable against Cherry Hill, despite our playing them in their second home at the Cherry Hill Civic Arena. Approaching the second game, which had been moved to the prime time game at 8:00. Our Coaches had both the basketball and cheer teams were believing in ourselves once again.

The boys that I met last year, sought me out come Thursday. They were a welcome distraction. I smiled as I recognize eight of them. Five of the boys crossdressing and three plus one I didn’t yet know were presenting themselves saying they are transgender girls.

Tammy one of the moms came across gruffly to me, “And what are you smiling about?”

I stood my ground and said, “I’m happy to see that they’re distinctly a group of individuals. I would have been worried if they appeared as clones of one another or someone else’s expectations. I know since we saw each other last year, two of the boys have also gone their own directions.”

We visited about who had good support and who was being bullied or pressured to be something different. I could tell that Tammy and one other parent there found it hard to be supportive. It was hard to tell for sure but I expected at least Tammy was pressured by others to be less supportive.

It was hard to walk away, but I needed to let the group take care of itself. I complimented her that Jamie was becoming more comfortable being a girl. She did ask for my phone number which I took as a positive sign.

The game was now within two hours and we had prepared our second round of spirit bags for the team after the game. Two items would be changed if they lost, but no one was giving into that. The situation of Kaylea’s injury was not yet publicly known beyond this game. Jenn, Trisha, Erin, and Shelby needed to step forward to give the team a fighting chance to win.

The cheer team decided to give special cheers during the introduction of our starting five players at the beginning of a game. It was to be Sharon then, Gabby, Anne, myself, and Sharon a second time. The introductions started and Sharon did exceptionally well. But that and the big crowd spooked Gabby, so when she paused I went in her place, and I had done my three flips. There was Anne, Sharon again outdoing herself and I felt the need to step up when Jenn was announced. I did the three flips and went into a split that got everyone applauding.

Coach House asked me, “Was that advisable?” She and I both knew it was not. It would take the first half for my pain to subside.

Jenn and Trisha both stepped up their game from the start, Steph and Erin took longer. That was enough for Cherry Hill to establish a five to seven-point lead early in the first half. The Cougars were poised to take a seven or eight-point lead as the half ended when Madi Thoms stepped to steal a throw and went to lay it in. That cut the lead to three at halftime.

The Cougars were extremely good and made the needed adjustments. During the second half of the game, they gradually moved to increase a bigger lead until we were twelve points behind them early in the last quarter of play. Jenn our best player of defense was the first to be in foul trouble. Erin and Jenn both fouled out.

The team never stopped playing their best and actually gained some respect from other fans. The last two minutes were the hardest as Coach Daley decided to play everybody. The final score was 67-82.

One sportswriter asked, “Coach Daley, it has been over twenty-one months since you been interviewed after a loss. Does that help temper the hurt that comes with this loss?”

I was watching her with tears in my eyes as she responded, “We knew sometime it would come. But to your question, my concern is with my girls. They have most of the season ahead. All the teams we play will seek to make the most of this defeat and most will be out for revenge. We will need to work harder to keep that from happening.

The girls did rebound and in the field of teams they eked out two more wins to earn the fourth-place plaque.

I had hurt myself cheering but worked to keep it a secret until our last game. That was when I aggravated the injury when our pyramid tumbled down. Someone’s knee kicked me where it wouldn't hurt a girl half as much.

Sierra had come to the game with a friend and was called in to watch as a medic and Coach House wanted to check me. Sierra got me back to Dr. Holly and she drained off a pool of fluid drowning one of my testes. She told me, “I am putting you on limitations, young lady. Five days from now you may be able to go back to cheering but no more splits or doing the pyramids for now. …Sierra tell your parents that Rose should go ahead and schedule her surgery over spring break.”

I said, “I can tell them that, Sierra doesn’t need to.”

Simultaneously, Sierra and Dr. Holly Campbell insinuated that if I had taken responsibility earlier, this might not have happened.

I was put on an antibiotic and the medicine made me tired. It took a few days before I was feeling okay. When Anne came to see me, if no one else was around, she’d snuggle and kiss me. We hugged, my breasts could feel hers. I liked the softness of how it felt.

When school started in the new year, I began studying harder. I had gotten A’s B’ and one C. It was not like the old me, but I wanted to be on the honor roll in the second semester. Sitting in a soft chair at home and reading for my classes I was now feeling good.

Anne’s grandparents helped Mom Evans to buy a 2010 yellow and black Camaro. It definitely was a cute car for a cheerleader. I knew what boys were thinking when they saw her driving the car. It caused me to giggle. It was me she wanted in the seat next to her, or in the small seats behind that. That caused me pain to think of that possibility.

Debra, on the USS Cook, had sent me a communication; the letter was marked PERSONAL! I knew she was done with her full-time service in February. We had kept in communication after I stopped being Dort. She had encouraged me to deepen my sense of being a girl. She loved the idea that I projected the image of a strong woman.

However, she sent the letter to the high school. What had generally been private, between her and me, was now to be very public. Anne and Sharon both knew the letter was coming and now were encouraging me to open the letter at lunchtime in the cafeteria.

I wanted to keep it sealed until I got home. Between the second and third periods, I sent a text to Deb. My phone went off as I sat down with my lunch. I pulled my phone out of my purse and tried to shield my phone screen from others. But Anne was looking over my shoulder. Anne said out loud, “Good! Open the letter, now is a good time.”

Anne said, “Great!” She even offered me her butter knife.

Dearest Rose,
My Tracy can’t thank you enough. You already know I am getting out of the service in February. Trace and I are engaged. Trace is thankful because you brought back my feminine side. I’m happy because I’m still me.

Girlfriend,
Debra

Anne grabbed the swaths of cloth and the picture of the dress and went to Sharon first. “Cute.” I was embarrassed as all the girls were happy for me. Even Jayne said, “You did a great job getting us to be a mascot with the USS Cook. This is the icing on the cake; you need to say yes! I’m just glad they didn’t ask for Dort.”

I liked both the fabrics and the picture of the dresses the bridesmaids would be wearing. Sharon said, “It shouldn’t be hard to alter it to use on other occasions.”

Coach House laughed when she found us visiting about my invitation and the dress material. “Rose, you are amazing. This started last year as a discipline for your misbehaving. It has had a Midas touch with one girly opportunity after another. …Even now having not recuperated from your injury, you are still holding up cheer practice.”

“Ms. House, I don’t cause the practice to be delayed.”

“Sharon, would you like to tell Rose how long it took to get practice going since she’s been on the Cheer team?”

“Well,” Sharon said, “Sandy and I had to bite our tongues. Because the first day it was five minutes, but then with Dort, it became ten to fifteen minutes. And practice went from an hour to an hour and a half.”

I said, “That’s not true. It has always been an hour and a half since I’ve been on the squad.”

Anne says, “Think back, you weren’t originally on the squad, but more of a behind-the-scenes spirit team member. Some hoped by making you ‘Dort the sailor’ mascot you’d actually quit. But you thought it was your way to stop getting expelled from school. Between your slim built and gymnastics ability you made the change better than anyone could have imagined. Not even you knew that Rose was there.”

“You wanted me to quit, and what, go to another school?” I quickly felt sad and it showed.

Alexis House, “With day one, you started to win us over, being likable. Then it was the first time you put on the sailor costume. We thought you were cute. But even then, no one expected you to try so hard and to make the adjustment. …Anne was the first who first told me that a bit of girl rubbed off on you from your sisters.”

Our discussion was broken up by the School Nurse Theresa Gibbs requesting to see me. We went to her office and the door was closed. “Rose, this isn’t anything official, more of a friendly suggestion. It appears, that you are still hurting from your groin injury when you walk? I talked to your doctor and your progress is slower than expected.”

I interrupted her, “Yes, and if I move around it hurts. You don’t need to point that out to me.”

“What I was going to suggest is you might want to be wearing some tight panties or very snug jeans for a while. By holding your boy bits snuggly they wouldn’t be jiggling around reinjuring themselves.”

I said, “Wouldn’t that cause more injury instead of less. Plus, the school has a policy against tight jeans and leggings.”

She said, “It is something boys sometimes do when they get kneed or injured there.”

I asked, “Are you tell me that Marty on the wrestling team is wearing tight panties?”

Nurse Gibbs chokes on her words, trying to recover. “I didn’t say that. Please don’t construe anything of the sort. I couldn’t tell you what another student was doing, ethics prohibit it, and you'd be wrong surmising that. …And regarding the school dress code against tight clothes, there have been exceptions granted for medical reasons. I would suggest the tight leggings with maybe a skater dress over it. That would avoid any questions of impropriety.”

I said, “Thanks, if you don’t mind, I will use the restroom to make an adjustment.” The nurse offered me a packet of aspirin that I took and used. I had an extra panty scrunched in a corner of my purse. With that and my other panty things were much tighter, I was feeling more comfortable.

I guess the smile on my face made it evident to the nurse and later others that I felt better. Anne was the one who noticed and asked. “The nurse must have said something that has helped you?”

She was amused, “I hope keeping that boy bit comfortable doesn’t give you second thoughts.”

We both giggled and hugged as we went to our last class of the day. I went to the practice but didn’t stay there. It emotionally hurt that I couldn’t do what I came to love.

Instead of going directly home, I went to a boutique to window shop. I always liked their window displays. Today was the first time to go in the St. Ives Boutique. Ms. Hanna Cooper a teacher I had in elementary school greeted me. “Rose, it is so nice to see you come into our shop. I hope I can talk you into something. I’ll even give you an added incentive.”

”I only came to window shop, and I don’t have enough to buy much.” I hadn’t known that Hanna had left teaching to do this. I knew she was still in the community. I was six when I had her in first grade. Her smile and being well dressed even then had attracted me. She gave me a cup of tea. Looking around, there was a peach skater dress with a lace bodice and ruffled skirt. I had not seen anything like it, and it was something I could wear to school.

Hanna caught me looking at it a second and third time. Finally, she handed me the dress in my size and a pair of white leggings I had looked at. “Go try these on. If they look as pretty as I think they will; we’ll make a deal.”

With fifteen dollars there was no deal to make, fifteen dollars didn't pay for either one. I was under strict orders not to use my cash card, but I have gotten into the girl thing of trying on clothes. I like the feel and look of wearing leggings with a dress. I did feign to have trouble pulling the zipper up. I knew I’d enjoy having Hanna help me.

Once I was back out on the floor, eyes turned my way and smiles came to everyone’s faces. Hanna said, “Rose that outfit is you.”

Tanya Hamilton’s mom was there and she quickly went to the rack with the dresses. Tanya is a junior high cheerleader. I swiftly said, “I hope you’re considering one of the other colors.”

Hanna takes me to the side and whispers. “If you will wear this to school and bring the cheer team here soon I will give it to you as a promotion. I have plenty of moms and young women come here, but girls from high school have not been shopping here.”

I said, “I don’t think I will make a difference. The clothes are nice, your shop is nicely laid out and the prices are good.”

Hanna saw that the zipper was not fully up nor the hook done. She did both, giving that area a tap she said, “Stay right there.” She went and grabbed a simple necklace and put it around my neck. “There, go look at yourself in the full-length mirror.”

She asked by the time I did and turned around, “Can you do a cheer pose with one knee raised and a fist in the air.”

Hearing her request I did as she asked and with a cheery smile. Snap and several pictures were taken. I gave her permission if she wanted to blow up the picture and hang it. I got the dress, leggings and even the necklace. I left my fifteen dollars despite her saying not to.

Needing a ride and with cheer practice over I called Anne, “Can you come and pick me up at St. Ives Boutique?”

Anne asked if the boutique was nice. She would soon be here and I’d let her see for herself.

Once Anne was there and saw my dress and some of the clothes; I knew we would be a while. Anne also remembered Hanna and was glad to see her. Anne told me, “I know you didn’t have enough money for that outfit. Your mother is going to have a fit you bought all that!”

I grinned, “Just let me worry about that.” But I did ask her about coming back with the rest of the cheer squad soon.

She said, “That’s a good idea, and we should even invite Jaylene Fox. The cheer team had money we were going to spend on her and I’m sure we never did.”

Anne bought a cute panty bra set on clearance and we left. Hanna gave me a wink on the way out.

Once I was home, my mother was slow to believe me. “There’s no way Hanna would give you this much as a promotion. …But I do think the nurse’s idea of wearing something to snuggle your parts was a good idea.”

Mom asked me to sit down which meant something serious. “Your father talked to Dr. Holly Campbell, about your damaged testicle to be removed now. …She couldn’t talk directly about you with your Dad, but she seemed to indicate that might help things during spring break. You should call her some time tomorrow, so you two could talk. I suggest you do it quickly. She told me she would be holding you out of cheering through a week from Friday. It would be only another week if you had the surgery on Monday.”

I was back in my room, lying on my bed thinking when Shannon called. “Sprout, I was thinking of you. How are things going? I bet it is hard not to be cheering.”

“Did Mom suggest you call me?”

“No, why would she?” I explained the possible surgery and Shannon wanted me to get on my computer so she could see me and my dress.

Shannon asked me, “Did she say if that’s what the wrestler did; the one that got kneed to the groin did?”

“She wouldn’t comment citing confidentiality.”

Shannon asked, “Are you worried about having the surgery?”

I said, “It goes two ways: I’m anxious to have it but not wanting to wait. I really don’t see myself as a boy anymore.”

Shannon said she’d be home on Sunday until after the surgery on Monday if I had it then.

Then I remembered Debra’s invite to be a bridesmaid. Shannon surprised me by saying, “I’m a little surprised she didn’t ask you to marry her. I think she gave you the hormones that you denied having because she had the hots for Rose.”

I said, “No way! Plus I never told you that she was the one to give them to me.”

To be continued…