It was Sunday evening, and I was thinking about tomorrow at school. My parents were in the living room on the main floor, and I went to talk to with them. Sierra was with me which helped. “Daddy and Mom, I want your support to go to school tomorrow as Rose. I would like it if I could go to school for the rest of this year as Rose most of the time. Right now I am only asking for tomorrow because of the assembly.”

Dad said, “I was suspecting that you would be trying to push the limits and stay as Rose. You’ve asked about the prom, someone mentioned Easter and now you’re pushing for the school year. Is it your intention to remain as Rose forever?”

I was glad when Sierra spoke up, “Father, she didn’t ask for any of this. He was punished by making him be a girl so much of the time. It doesn’t surprise me there was the possibility that he’d like being a girl. You must admit Rob as Rose has done a lot of good things. His school work and studying have improved. Just look at his grades. He’s made many more friends and can explain himself better. I can’t believe you haven’t received compliments about him at your office or in the hospital.”

Mom said, “You know that’s true Honey. And not once have I heard you share that with him.”

Dad said, “He’s heard more compliments than I have. I just didn’t want to encourage him in what he was doing.”

“Dad, you didn’t compliment me as Rob. I appreciated your help in talking to the sailors and understanding their ways. Why couldn’t you do the same for me?”

He said, “Look, even now you look more like another daughter, not my son. What am I to think?”

I spoke right back, “Am I a daughter that you would be proud of if I was Sonja?”

“Yes, but that’s not the point; you’ve always been my son.”

I became defensive, “Yes and as your son, I got in trouble because I was bullied and you wouldn’t speak up for me. You spoke up for Lambert more than once when he got picked on. Why not me?”

“I was proud of you and as a doctor I still am. I just wish you were like me.”

Mom said, “We’re both proud of you and your sisters.”

I asked, “Why didn’t he say that?” I could see Dad felt as defensive as me, but I’m the adolescent.

Dad asked, “Before you asked for our blessing to go to school as Rose. Did that mean you plan to go with or without our blessing?”

“I didn’t think that far Dad. I planned to dress as Dort for the assembly and I hoped to dress as Rose for School.”

Dad said, “I would expect the school will require some sort of reason if you were to continue dressing as Rose Anderson for school.”

I said, “They haven’t said anything either way. I don’t remember ever getting direct permission to be Rose. I think it started on that holiday basketball tournament trip when my sister went as my chaperone.”

Mom finally said, “Okay, you can dress as Rose until the school says otherwise. But we do want you to dress like Robert more than you have been. You will need to continue to see the Psychologist, Ms. Akers. She and your other doctor need to be okay with it.”

I was actually excited about seeing Mrs. Akers again. I had seen her at one of our tournament games and was glad she cared enough to stop after I got hurt. I have trouble getting a good sleep since then. I hope she can help me. But I’m afraid she’ll want me to tell all about it again.

I was up early getting ready for school. I had my best uniform for Dort. I chose my plain blue skirt, a white blouse with bright flowers and a red sweater. The last could be put on or taken off as different parts of the school can be too hot or too cold. I have classes in both areas today.

There was a backup of cars trying to get to the school so I got out and walked the last block and a half. I saw a student named Michael that I know. I said hello and asked if I might walk with him.

Michael did a double look before he said, “I thought you’d be back to being Robert today. I know about the assembly and being Dort, but I thought for sure you’d be back to yourself.” We walk along together, but he’d shake his head now and then. He asked, “So does this me you like being like a girl?”

I appreciated that he wasn’t put off by me, but asked an honest question. He said, “Back in January or February my sister Teg asked me if I want to dress as a girl again. And I told her I didn’t want to be a second class citizen. She chided me but knew our Mom and older sister both had jobs that paid women a lower wage.

“Then there’s you. People compliment you okay, but I’m sure not everyone respects you. You’re not a girl and not a much of a boy in many peoples’ book.”

I said, “You say that, but here you are talking to me. Are you going to say something derogatory when I’m not around?”

Mike said, “No, we might not be close friends, but I do respect you. You have a different kind of courage in my book.” We got near the school and he headed off for a different entrance.

I went to my locker and put my uniform in there and got the needed books. I turned around and there was Jaylene Fox, little Heather, their sailor Kent. I met him the other day, but I guess he wanted to thank me for the support Jaylene and Heather got. They had already looked at a house in our town and would buy it.

They said some of the town fathers and mothers would up with the down payment if the built on the garage. Kent said, he was surprised to see me dressed as Rose but Jaylene was not. “I think Heather will not be sure about him when he dresses as Robert. She and I have only seen pictures of Robert. We always have seen Dort and Rose. She is one of the girls that Heather is comfortable with.”

Jaylene smiled, “Have you ever heard again from that woman and her baby that you met in the New Brunswick hospital?”

I said, “Yesterday, she wants me to come over on Thursday night, saying her husband would pick me up and bring me home. She said it would probably be a month or two before she’d want me as a babysitter.”

Jaylene and I giggle and Kent just scratched his head. They went to see if others from the ship had gotten there yet and I went to my homeroom. I saw Therese and others but my phone buzzed that I had a message.

From Mom, “Do you want to go look at prom dresses? I can go after school today or Wednesday or we would need to wait for the weekend? …If you’re going to go with Therese; you might want to ask her along.”

I test back, “Maybe Wednesday as I don’t want to act like I’m forcing Dad to decide.”

Mom’s text, “I wouldn’t have asked if it weren’t okay. Wednesday’s fine.”

Therese is the first to get the way I dressed. “I guess you’re dressing like an ordinary female student. It is a nice outfit. Ms. House said, ‘You’re to change into Dort’s uniform in her changing area at 9:30.’”

Our Homeroom teacher hands me a note. ‘You’re to see Ms. Akers right after school. If that is not good, you need to tell the office before noon.’

The day is filled with notices about quizzes and tests that had been postponed. Besides class work, I had a lot of studying to do. Cheerleaders are expected to carry a good ‘B’ average. I guess while I don’t need to do it anymore, I want to.

Come 9:15 I go to change into my uniform. I hadn’t worn much makeup, but I do use some mascara, blush and lip gloss for Dort. I hear Ms. House and someone outside the changing room. The other person was speaking, “While I think it might be good to share who does Dort the Destroyer; if I were you I wouldn’t mind Rose as a cheerleader.”

Ms. House said, “If she spent time practicing with others yet this spring and summer. She’d hopefully refine her skills. Lord knows she has so much potential. …The funny thing, come college, he’d be too small for most as a male cheerleader, but Rose might qualify for a college scholarship as a cheerleader or female mascot.”

I was about done as I did my hair to go with my hat. Stepping out, into House’s area Ms. House was surprised as she remembered I was to be there. She looks at me as to check my uniform, makeup and hair. “Rose you have gotten quite good at that. I hope the others are as prepared as you are.”

Mrs. Johnson looks at me, and then says, “Are you sure you are a boy. A cheerleader this pretty would have the boys… Well never mind.”

I know I blushed as I quickly was leaving. I had gone over to where the others were getting ready. Lieutenant Jennifer Fields had also come to see them. She went in and then showed her head and said, “You can come in now.” It wasn’t completely true. Though we had long before quit being embarrassed by one another.

We gathered around the Lieutenant and she said, “I wanted to come and compliment you women personally. You are the ones’ who set up our relationship with this basketball team. We had no idea that they would be this good. I think this season has solidified our connection with you. I know five other ships have been communicated with numerous schools and will each be adopting one beginning the next school year.”

“Others around your state have stopped by the ship to convey their appreciation for us as well. Many didn’t know there were Marines also on the ships in harm’s way. ”

The next part I wasn’t happy that she shared. “If Rose is to become a real girl; I hope you like me will support her to have a time as Robert again. If things are not done properly, things could really turn ugly.”

She excused herself and Coach House was in to check on us and to get us to where we needed to be for the beginning of the program.

It was nice to hear from Kristin during the assembly, “After our reception back in town and seeing the Cheerleaders perform. We now understand why you have been cheering us so well during this season. We are always proud of our cheerleaders, but this year’s Cheer Team really had a great capability to get our gym here and others away rocking on behalf of our team.”

“We asked some of our supporters to give them gift baskets in appreciation for all they did. They weren’t sure about what to give our mascot. We said, ‘Whatever is appropriate for the other girls will be appropriate for her as well.’ The basketball players lined up on the edge of the platform with baskets and we each lined opposite a player to receive a basket. I should have been upset or embarrassed as two things that looked like roses were actually panties. There was also a certificate for a time at a spa.

Our team’s name was already on the state trophy.

Come, one o’clock I was called to the Principal’s office. Dr. Evans informed me, “Your time of being disciplined is now officially over. The school would like you to return to come to school as Robert Anderson. Your mother has communicated to me and will put it in writing that you have permission to come to school as Rose.”

She said, “We will need Dr. Akers or another psychologist or a psychiatrist to approve you doing that. You will be given ten days to comply with that. …I need to ask and make sure that is your wish and this is not being forced on you by others.”

I smiled and said, “Yes, I actually have better clothes than I do as Robert for right now.”

She complimented me, “Yes, I and my daughter, when she had been home, have noted that you have picked up a nice wardrobe along the way. It was nice today to see you have some good everyday clothes.”

I finally said, “I feel like you’re teaming up against me to stop being Rose. But as you said, my mother has given me permission to do so. I plan to talk with Dr. Akers, but it is not supposed to be your business what I talk about.”

“I don’t feel much like Robert, and I’m not sure if dressing as a boy will change that. I thought you would understand why I like better to dress and act as Rose. I didn’t like being hurt, but I was willing to pay that price.”

“What will you do if some Doctor says, I’m transgender?”

I waited for her to speak. Her face went expressionless, “I guess we’ll cross that bridge if we come to it.”

I asked, “Do you think I make a bad girl? Would you throw me out of the prom if I’m invited and come as Rose?”

Ms. Evans moves from behind her desk to be with me. “Rose, I think you have made a good girl and cooperated with us very well. I appreciate all you have done and not caused trouble. About the prom and coming as Rose let me think about that.”

“My Mom plans to take me looking for a prom dress, Wednesday after school.”

Ms. Evans said, “They have already given you permission to go as Rose?”

I said, “My father said he won’t decide until Wednesday, but Mom said we could have gone today. But I told her I have an appointment with Dr. Akers. After school today.”

It was the end of the second period of the afternoon by the time I got back to class. Anne sent me a note, ‘I was invited to the prom by Torey. Have you decided who you’re going to the prom with Bradley or Therese? I know a gay boy who would like into your panties!” I have already figured that Brad is at least bi-sexual if not gay. The idea of a boy even kissing me in December was repulsive. Now the idea of a boy and I making out is worthy of consideration. That part of me wanted to see myself being a girlfriend; it was now attractive to me. I knew that would not be a good thing to share with anyone.

The assembly was good as it allowed all the students in on the celebration. I don’t ever remember so much attention being shown to girls. It was nice as students began several of our cheers without being prompted.

Come the beginning of the last class, Therese was already waiting for me in the classroom. Brad cut me off in the hallway, asking, “Can we talk after school. I really want you to go to the prom with me.”

This time I cut him off, “Sorry but I have a doctor’s appointment after school. It will need to wait until tomorrow or you can call me this evening.” Brad gave me a quick hug and kiss before rushing off to his class.

The kiss and my hugging him was not lost on Therese. She said, “If you really want to go out with him, you don’t need to embarrass me.” Miss Hughes announced the beginning of the class before I could respond.

I am proficient at writing and sending notes now. I quickly communicated I have not told him anything. I haven’t decided who to say yes to, but my mother indicated I will be able to go to the prom as Rose.” Second note, “She even told me to ask you to shop with me for a prom dress; if I decide to go to the prom with you.”

A note with a sad face came back, “Trevor likes me enough that I don’t have wait for him to decide. I think you should plan on going to the Prom with Brad. You and I can go back to just being friends.”

I guess as others told me later, that I shouldn’t have accepted that as being final. Instead, I sent a text to Brad on my way to the doctor’s appointment. Brad said he was very glad and would call me after his baseball training.

Dr. Kristyn Akers said she was happy to see me and asked if I was happy the basketball season was over. I said, “I have mixed feelings.”

She was the second one to suggest, maybe I shouldn’t have accepted Therese’s response as final. But said, my communication with Brad effectively did end it. We talked more about how I was doing since I was jumped at the tournament. She mentioned my response of fright and terror when I saw the picture across from the elevator and that nightmares were a common result. She reminded me that I was safe when she asked me to remember the incident and the terror I still felt.

I said, “One of the boys hasn’t shown any remorse for what he had done and even said he was innocent. That means I will probably have to go to court and testify against him. I’m afraid of doing that.”

“I’m also afraid of turning back to a boy and my body maturing in ways I don’t want. I don’t want to lose being Rose.” Dr. Kristyn Akers gave me a personality test and I stayed to do it. I would have to come back to get the results.

The good news was she said, “You have my permission to continue as Rose until we get together to share the results of the test. I do hope at least one parent would be with you.”

Sonja was there to take me home, but we went to a mall to walk around as we talked. Sonja giggled and when I asked what about. She said, “You’re bringing out my feminine side. Some of the dresses at Express International caught my eye for you as well as one for me.”

I asked, “Were you thinking like me more in the way of something pretty for Easter or spring?” We both turned around and went into the store. A saleswoman came over to us, “What brings Dorothy in as well as one of the other Anderson girls?”

Sonja was surprised and asked, “How do you know us?”

She said, “For one thing, I live in the same town and I graduated from your school. Enough about me how can I help you two?”

I said, “We’re only looking; wanting to see what might be appropriate for Easter or spring.”

Aria said, “That is fine, I can leave you alone or help pull out some things that I think you might like. …It’s Rose, isn’t it? I am glad you’re continuing as a girl. I think it fits you.”

I thanked her and said, I wanted to look but I would also be interested in what she thought might be good for Sonja or me. We were near each other as I was looking and I raised one dress that I liked but was ready to put back. Aria and the Sonja said I should try it. There was a cute dress mostly white with delicate blue roses and butterflies. Arai had found it and Sonja had found a cheery white with red print and chiffon over the top and arms. We took them into the changing room.

I had to try the pink blush skirt I found without my pantyhose. Both my sister and the saleswoman found that insightful for a ‘should be’ boy. For the white dress with the print of blue roses and butterflies, I also kept the pantyhose off. But we agreed on the white dress with red print would be better with the look of stockings.

I knew Sonja had taken pictures of each but I didn’t know she sent them to my mom, sisters, and friends. Mom, Sierra and two friends favored the whited with red print. Mom and Sierra both liked the pink-blush dress that Shannon thought was better for me along with Anne and three other friends. I asked Sonja and she agreed that the pink blush was calling me. Sonja fell in love with a different dress that had a print skirt and a whited top. The top was nicely cut and showed off her slender frame and nice bosom. It was now 7:00 and Sonja said it was time to get home. I couldn’t believe that we spent all that time and even tried things on and just leave. Sonja said, “You need to learn to do this. We get enough clothes but there’s more we can enjoy trying on.”

We were hungry when we got home, but all mom had were the fixings for a good salad. Mom said, “And gone are the days you can heap on the salad dressing. If you’re dressing as a girl; you’ll be eating like one as well.” From after supper until 10:30 I was studying. I had two quizzes and one exam tomorrow.

Sonja brought a yellow skirt and pulled out one of my blouses that would look good with it. “I suggest you wear this outfit tomorrow. You should think of getting your ends cut soon, or get an appointment for a salon.”

I showered, took care of cleansing my skin and using a moisturizer. Sonja was back in and I was getting tired of her checking on me. I began to tell her so, when she said, “I’ve been working up the courage to do this, so don’t hassle me.” She produced a pill disk with most of the pills. “I don’t want you to endanger the progress you’ve made as Rose. I got my new disk in the mail today. You can have this one. …Until the Prom you’ll want to keep up your appearance.”

She was right, I had already been worrying about my appearance and the puffiness of my little breasts if they would diminish. I looked at the disks and quickly counted the pills and worry still. “Sonja, there’s not enough to have one each day?”

She said, “By the time you finish those we’ll take care of that problem.”

I said, “But I’m supposed to have more time back as Rob.”

Sonja said, “I bet you’ll have more than enough time as Rob to suit you and us sisters. By now, we all like what we see as Rose our sister.” We couldn’t help but hug at that point.

Wednesday, I went to school as Rose with my mom’s blessing as she was to take me shopping for a prom dress afterward. Anne was excited for me and even Therese was back as a friend and happy for me. Therese had shown me a picture of her gown and it was truly a gown so wonderful.

Anne and I were talking once when I spotted Brad. Anne knew something happened and asked, “What did you just do?”

I said, “I saw Brad, I think he’s coming over after he stops talking to a friend.”

She said, “But you did something else, what was it?”

I tried not to say, but Brad took longer and she persisted. I finally said, “It’s nothing.”

“I’ve seen that look three or four times.”

I said, “Its nothing, my butt just tightens.”

She said, “That’s cute, does that mean you want him?”

I said, “That’s terrible to say.”

“Maybe, do you feel warm and moist?”

Luck was on my side, Brad came over by then and the conversation changed. He asked if I was going to be able to go out Friday or Saturday. When the lunch break was over he escorted me to my locker and then my next class. We wanted to kiss but a teacher was close by, so we didn’t.

Come 3:30 my mom, Sonja, Anne and I were on our way shopping. Sierra would meet us at Glamour Bridal Gowns and More. Tiffany would be our salesperson with both Sonja and Sierra recognizing her. Tiffany giggled as she said, “Sonja, I thought you were the last of the Anderson girls? So who is this young lady?”

I spoke up for myself, “I’m Rose; they had to try one more time to get it perfect.”
Mom giggled as did Tiffany, “That was a very nice comeback. I cannot argue as you do look perfect. So is it a wedding gown or a prom dress that you’re looking for.” She caught me by surprise as I had been, in fact, staring at a bridal gown.

“I would like to look at prom dresses, please? Is there a color that would look better for me?”

Tiffany smiled, “That is a very good question and I am a good person for the task.” She showed me two swatches of blue and likewise of yellow. “You’re complexion has a nice glow to it. The blue and yellow with a white base won’t wash out your skin and with just a little makeup it helps to set off you and the dresses. …If you’re open to wearing spaghetti straps I have several dresses you might want to see and try on. …Remember, not to be in a rush to choose. We can set aside the ones you strongly take a liking too.”

I really did like one of the yellows with my dark hair. The other yellow gold and the blue dress were nice, but they didn’t excite me. I saw a red dress on display, and though I’d wanted to consider a pretty red dress that one turned me off to the idea. I was thankful that Sierra spoke up, “Rose likes red but I can tell she does not like that one. Do you have anything in red or pink that might look especially good on her?”

Tiffany pulled out one, Mom found another and Sonja who had walked off came back with one in each hand. I could tell the moment I saw one that I liked it a lot. Regrettably, while it was the correct size, it did not hang well on me. In fact, the description that it hung on me was fitting. The slender red gown was something I thought I didn’t want. It looked very nice and when Sierra had me step into a four-inch heel, it became hot. Hot in a very nice way that was acceptable even unto my mother.

She did say, “I do think you are too young and new with this for me to readily say, ‘Yes!’” It became the second dress we would hold onto. I tried another five dresses there.

We left there and then we went to Express International at the mall. Our Mom said, “There were at least two of you who liked dresses here for Easter. Please find them and show them to me.” I found the one I liked, white with blue roses. “Yes, I know it was the second choice of the others. Mother pointed out that many of the roses were hand-stitched lace. The butterflies also looked very nice once the dress was on me. We were surprised again as Sonja found a white dress with beautiful red roses setting it off. The surprise was Sonja had stayed away from such a feminine dress. She hadn’t liked people focusing on her and this dress did just that? Neither dress was extravagant in appearance or cost, but they were what we wanted.

Finished shopping for the evening, mother said, “We are going to Maestros for supper. When we’re done I want you to make sure you are completely clean. No red sauces hiding away for when you carry your dresses into the house to be properly cared for.”

“Mother, I’d rather not go out, especially to such a fancy place as Rose.”

Mother announced, “Maybe if you’re embarrassed to be seen as Rose, you shouldn’t consider becoming her.”

I looked to my sisters and Anne and we all knew mother was saying something new. She acknowledged the possibility of me being Rose…