Images 53

Chapter 53

*Before…

(Sniffle.) “But you didn’t choose me…I just showed up.”

“Can I choose you now?”

They’re staring at each other and she goes from crying to shaking and crying and nodding and then…. “Y..yes…” and she buries her face into daddy’s chest and starts to sob.

I’m crying too…everything he said is the stuff I’ve been talking about and I’m hugging myself until I feel Taylor come up behind me and he wraps me up in his arms and squeezes me tight and I lean back into it with a happy sigh.

“Thanks honey.”

“Yeah, no problem…this is a hugging moment.”

(Sniffle.) “Yeah…”

“I made some pizza you want some?”

I smile just because it reminds me of the way he was when we first met.

“Yeah, I’d actually love some pizza.”

*And Now...................

Taylor still holds me and he kisses my neck some more and then he picks me up and carries me up to the office. Dad’s having time with Iggy and stuff and that’s cool because maybe he can get more in her head than I can and she really needs all the help that she can get.

Tay’s cleaned off the desk of the usual stuff and has it on the filing cabinets instead and he kisses me as he set’s me down on the couch we have there. It’s more of a love seat but still its better than the office chair and he takes the desk and he pulls it over and turns it around so that it’s at an angle that he can turn the monitor to us and he smiles.

“I got a DVD too.”

“Oh Dinner and a movie I think that’s pretty cool mister.”

“I try.”

“Yeah…you do.” I say warmly.

Seriously he does. And it…Honestly it feels so darned good to have someone that loves you and that he’s willing to try.

He sort of smile and blushes at that and that’s awesome too that he’s not one of those guys that lets a little bit of praise go to his head. Taylors real and he stays that way.

“What do you want to drink hon?’

“Surprise me?”

He nods and slips out and he’s not gone long but he comes back with one of our really big serving trays and he passes it to me. “Just a sec.”

“Okay…this smells so good.” It does and he’s got everything there covered with dish towels except for the milkshake still in the mixer cup.

Oh…I haven’t had a milkshake in like forever and it’s my favorite too strawberry.

It’s one of those funny things really my taste buds changed after I started hormones regularly. I wasn’t a huge strawberry fan before but since I like them a lot. I’m still not all oooh and aaaah over chocolate. I do like it but I like fruits and spices better and caramel over chocolate.

Tay comes back with the garbage can from the laundry room and puts it together with the one from the office and set’s the tray on it in a make do sort of coffee table.

“I love this.”

“What this?”

“Yes, I love this…us, the love seat…and this being really the first time that we’re using it hon and the whole making it work making do thing as a date.”

“Really?”

I kiss him. “Definitely, I want real…most girls want this, the real…the doing stuff like this more than the fancy stuff.”

He kisses me back and we go back and forth a few times before he breaks it with a smile. “I love that about you too.”

I smile and bite my lower lip a little. “Good.”

Taylor pulls off the towels and he made two pizzas both are kind of small and like ten inches and just hand made and rustic looking.

One is seafood…I know a lot of people are like eeew with the seafood pizza idea but this…this is good. Red shrimp sauce for the sauce instead of the straight tomato, lot’s of shrimp that he butterflied and are on there and there’s canned crab meat on there like cheese and chunks of the bigger crab meat on there like hamburger chunks or sausage on a regular pizza and little slices of smoked salmon on there cut into tiny little strips like anchovy sized bit but more like bacon…he has the pizza cut into four smallish pieces and he squeezes just a little lemon over all of it and the he drizzles some dill and caper mayo out from a squeezy bottle like a garnish.

The other is definitely his sort of thing and it’s the same size but there’s sausage and hamburger on it and bacon as well as mushrooms and peppers…red, green and chili plus some fresh oregano and some thin chiffonaded basil as well as lots of cheese.

Meat lover’s pizzas are good but it for me is the two fresh herbs and he put them on just before the cheese and the cheese was just on there and in the oven enough to melt.

I love them both and I eat one slice then switch…the seafood is so good and that thin drizzle of the mayo has a kiss of sour cream to it but it’s mayo enough to sort of….it just goes so well with the fish and the sweet and it’s so good.

Not something I think would sell and I wouldn’t want a big one of them too because it’d be overkill but just this on a really good and thin crust.

Yeah…some much this.

And we start to eat a little and he puts the DVD in the computer and then we sit back to snuggle and watch. *Armageddon.* The one with Bruce Willis and the whole thing is just daddy and daughter stuff and her and her guy and…just…teary stuff with a great sound track and good sci-fi action.

Yes I’m a girl and no that doesn’t mean that I don’t like science fiction or fantasy. Actually since I started transitioning I’m more into it all because I don’t react like Jaimes did.

It’s like I said there was so much of me that was disconnected that it’s literally saved my life and my heart.

Once you really start living you can’t…just can’t go back to just going through the motions.

And there is something so awesome…just awesome about snuggling up and eating killer good pizza with your husband and sipping away at dessert and just getting so comfy. And there’s even this whole thing of Taylor slipping his hands up and under my shirt and unhooking my bra and that little comfy rub and massage and no…not my breasts but the other bra spots.

Then…he holds me and my boobs.

No seriously just that guy, girl yay close and want to touch but not needing to go past that. I know it sounds weird but he massaged out all the ugh stuff of having a bra on all day plus he’s holding me close and my back is pressed to all that warmth and hard muscle and his arms around and he’s cradling my boobs and it’s just that…that close.

Sooo comfortable…I feed him pizza and sips of shake instead of having him move.

This is so one of those moments that god gives you that has you think a second about all the bullshit you’ve been through and give him the mental nod and go…okay.

Dad comes down just near the end of the movie and he leans on the door to watch the last bits instead of interrupt us and he does look over at us and yes Taylor still has his hands there and he smiles and I smile back but I do hold up my hand with my rings on it.

Which just makes him grin all the more.

Thankfully Taylor doesn’t engage in guy stupid and like fondle me in front of my dad. He’s actually in that absorbed guy into the movie zone and he doesn’t really move until we hit the credits.

Dad does a little cough and says. “Giselle’s out like a light sleeping with Ingrid who’s also out like a light.”

I nod. “Thanks daddy, it really helped and stuff with her today and everything.”

Taylor adds. “And tomorrow.”

Dad smiles and pushes off the door frame. “I missed out, I missed out on way too much and being Grampy I get to get a little back plus doing for you guys.”

I motion him over and he comes to me and I hold my arms out and he leans down for a hug. “You’re a good dad, a real good dad Thank you.”

He blushes and he’s guy working the lump in his throat down. “Anything honey, I love you.”

“I know.”

I love that just that makes him smile even more.

“Well I have my own girls to get home to so I’ll see you tow tomorrow?”

“Getting home to?”

He smiles. “Angie ordered me to move in.”

I smile. “Good, you need a home too.”

He gives me a kiss on my cheek. “I found you and I found my way home then baby girl.”

Taylor hugs me really tight at that and plants his face into my neck in the sweet spot between the side of my neck and my collarbone. “That John makes too of us.”

“Hey…I’m the one that moved in here.”

Tay nuzzles me there making me want to squirm with the yayness of it. “I just lived here Jen; you made it a home for me.”

Awwww…

Dad grins a different grin one that says that I know where this is going and he slips out and when he does I turn around and I shave chair straddle him and sit on his lap and kiss my husband really deeply, long and soft and slowly and lean into him and he just knows when and how to reach up and touch my breasts and cup and squeeze…oh just right.

There are times I hate the whole being trans thing and then there’s just times, times like this that even in transition he makes me feel so much like a woman…and sooo loved.

I get up off of him. “Just a sec.” I close the office door and then I go back to straddling him and more kissing and he starts to pull my shirt off and I lift my arms.

I really like even that…that is such a lover’s thing…

And the reaction that he has, that he always has on seeing me like that just.

Like Shania says in her song. Man! I feel like a Woman.

I get really into it and Taylor really knows his way around my breasts and he was good with them even before that but between the things that he does and the way his strong hot wet mouth puts that sweet pleasure and suction there along with his touch and those just right squeezes I pop.

I girl pop but I pop…after my ori it’s gotten so different and it’s so much sweeter…and longer and gentler. Taylor makes love to me like I’m his amusement park and he makes me sooo feel the Tilt-a-whirl.

Oh especially when he does that sucking my whole nipple in and this amazing swirly thing with his tongue.

I have no problem at all slipping down and returning the favor to him when I feel his hardness straining in his jeans and throbbing …it’s just kind of that guy kagel stuff but still.

Uhmmm…yum.

Yes I said yum.

I like performing oral sex for Taylor…I love the power it gives me as a woman and the reactions from him and the sounds that he makes…not weird noises but he’s sexually more vocal during this that he is during regular sex.

Well regular sex right now for us.

And yes…I really, really, really want my final surgery…I want the rest of normal.

Though the differentness between how he sounds like this and during sex could be the fact we are very into kissing during sex.

I even like the way that he moves during and the way he tastes after.

Some people don’t and that’s fine but it’s Taylor’s and it’s mine…just mine and that somehow makes it better.

That and he is the only one that I will ever do this with ever.

I finish and wash him down with a last pull on the settled remains of the strawberry shake and he so just stares at me…I love that too.

When he stares at me like that…in my jammies or in just some random outfit or even the lingerie that I wore to bed on our wedding night.

We leave things as is and I tuck him away but hang onto his belt and walk up to our place topless and after a quick peek at a double snoring Ingrid and Giselle we slip into the bathroom for some shower time.

I know, I know three plus times in three days but we’re still newly weds and we’re really I think just hitting our stride sexually with each other and I have felt a difference since my snip and my hormones and stuff.

It could be in my head, it really could be my hormones and it could be the changes in me are doing both…my final op aside I’m still going through puberty…again…sort of. I mean I started this at fifteen…but I was already started into it.

Anyways…it was good…It was very good and until I get finally to be me. I’m good with this. Tay’s always gentle…well…unless I want…but careful too…but I will say a lot of me feels even better emotionally knowing he feels the way he does.

I’ll admit that I’m one of those people that gets pleasure emotionally from satisfying their partner.

It’s just perfect settling in with him and falling asleep with him in our bed right to where there’s this tiny little hand pinching my nose shut and I do the cough waking up bit.

Giselle blinks at me and does the sleepy eyed rub at her eyes with her hand. “Pot.”

I smile and take her hand and slip out of bed even though I was in that dead sleep thing.

I’m her mom…

It’s what we do.

And I love this feeling too…dry mouth and eye crusty gunk and all.