A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 62 Hello Dad

Dave laughed and said, “Simmering on the Hobb‽ That’s over the border in Northumberland isn’t it? Small spot no more that six hundred folk live there.”

Tommy Dowerson said, “Nah. You got that one mixed up, Dave. That’s Gravy on the Hobb you’re going on about over in Northumberland. The Hobb river over there is nay mere than a beck. Simmering on the Hobb is on the outskirts of Ross on Wye away down country, Herefordshire way. Ross has about eleven thousand folk and t’other spot has maybe four. Just on the other side of Ross from Simmering is Custard on the Hobb where the custard boreholes are which strictly puts it into Wales. The Hobb is a big tributary, mostly in Wales, of the Wye which eventually runs into the Severn Estuary. There’re some odd town names down that way like Builth Wells and Symonds Yat. I only know because I did a postmasters’ course in Hereford a few years back.” There was just enough truth in Dave’s and Tommy’s ridiculous remarks to cause some confusion in the newer outsiders, but considerable hilarity amongst the locals and regular attenders from outside. Inventing silly, often profanely coarse, place names and equally ridiculous personal names vaguely connected to the satirical comedies of Monty Python, The Goons and Much Binding on the Marsh was an ongoing game they played often at each others’ expense. Their recently invented favourites were the villages of Shaver on the Motte, Hard on the Rod and Whacking on the Edge, the last of which came about as a result of a discussion concerning killing flies with a fly swatter. For some reason he wouldn’t explain Fluff in the Hinge was considered to be particularly amusing by Alf.

Max never truly believed that his dream of becoming a magical girl could become a reality - but he never even imagined that becoming the villainess of the magical girls was a possibility! 

***

Ever since the first Magical Girls appeared, to fight against the Violet Ooze threat, Max has dreamed of joining their ranks. Not that he’s particularly interested in the girl part - no way! - but the magical bit? The being a hero bit? That’s everything he’s ever wanted in life! So when a Magical Crystal offers him an out from the mundanity of college life, he agrees without a second thought! 

Unfortunately, the Magical Crystal gets attacked by Violet Ooze during the formation of their contract! Instead of a purehearted magical girl, ready to face the forces of evil, Max ends up as the Violet Queen - the new leader of those very same monsters!

Of course, the problems don’t end there! She's got magical girls aiming for her head, powers that are fueled by people lusting after her, and - worst of all - a ‘corrupted’ crystal that insists the true threat to the world is actually the (unwitting) magical girls themselves!

Cover by my lovely friend Lulla.

Is Late Better than Never? Chapter 7
by Lily Rasputin

I got home about ten minutes before Devon’s bus arrived. I waved to him as it pulled to a stop and the doors opened. Bouncing off the steps, he ran over and gave me a hug. As I hugged him back, it dawned on me that his attitude since my return had been overtly friendly. Not that he was a shy kid to begin with. It just seemed like he was extraordinarily excited that I was here.

Margaritas, Beaches, and Bikinis

Chapter Two
Belk's Department Store

A few days passed. And the writer's block still held its firm iron grip on me. I still felt like I'd abandon all of my writing projects and I felt like I owed my readership a reason why there had been no new Emily stories. Or any updates on her many misadventures. But every time I opened up a blank word document  and told myself that now I was going to work on her stories I found my mind going blank. Blank like the word document I was peering at.

After flubbing a powerful incantation, meant to give newly coronated Demon Queens the wisdom of their ancestors, Devilla Satanne awakens to memories of her past life as Jacob Divington, a human from Earth. Having gained a new perspective on life, she quickly comes to a rather horrifying conclusion: she's been a complete and utter brat! No wonder everyone hates her!

And then there's the fact that she's apparently been reincarnated as the villainess of Tower Conquest, a lesbian porn game with a surprisingly intricate plot. One in which the Heroine conquers Dimona Tower, turning Devilla's people against her in the process. In victory, the Heroine brings about a glorious age of peace between demons and humans for the first time in millennia. ...Which actually sounds pretty good for her people, come to think of it. Devilla knows her terrible behavior is beyond forgiveness, but maybe she can still make up for her past mistakes? She just needs to make sure the events of the game unfold correctly. Though there is one little detail she'd like to change - the part where Devilla herself is killed or enslaved!

The series cover was commissioned from https://twitter.com/HaizeUqei

“Sometimes, when you’re surrounded by problems, all you can do is concentrate on the most immediate one, in this case, nausea. Lying in the trunk of a moving car, completely unable to move my arms and with precious little ability to move anything else, covered in something like a bag, all I could do was think of not being sick. Being sick into a gag could choke me. The journey seemed as long as the rest of my life to date, but just pure misery.

Lucas’s makeup skills are challenged, but something very unexpected happens when he puts those skills to work.

Max never truly believed that his dream of becoming a magical girl could become a reality - but he never even imagined that becoming the villainess of the magical girls was a possibility! 

***

Ever since the first Magical Girls appeared, to fight against the Violet Ooze threat, Max has dreamed of joining their ranks. Not that he’s particularly interested in the girl part - no way! - but the magical bit? The being a hero bit? That’s everything he’s ever wanted in life! So when a Magical Crystal offers him an out from the mundanity of college life, he agrees without a second thought! 

Unfortunately, the Magical Crystal gets attacked by Violet Ooze during the formation of their contract! Instead of a purehearted magical girl, ready to face the forces of evil, Max ends up as the Violet Queen - the new leader of those very same monsters!

Of course, the problems don’t end there! She's got magical girls aiming for her head, powers that are fueled by people lusting after her, and - worst of all - a ‘corrupted’ crystal that insists the true threat to the world is actually the (unwitting) magical girls themselves!

Cover by my lovely friend Lulla.

The Other Side of Me – Part 33
by Lily Rasputin

After my initial shock of finding myself unceremoniously falling on my butt during cheer practice, I realized that everyone, including Coach, was staring at me with bewilderment. Everybody that didn’t know I was currently leaping back and forth between universes; that is.

“Miller,” Coach said, giving me a look that was part annoyed, part concerned. “You okay?”

The Hitchhiker
A Short Story
By Maryanne Peters

I know that you take your chances when you stand on the highway shoulder with your thumb in the air. It was just that I had no money, and no real place to go. It seemed like the best way out of a home that didn’t care for me was to just walk to the edge of town and stand on the side of the road and make the sign. If somebody woud stop for me I was ready to go as far as they were, and then keep going.

This is the complete story of Adam’s first day at Sasha Sucklove’s. We’ll be regularly checking in with him (soon to be her) and his classmates here. Now that the school, classes and characters have been established, I’m going to be posting the story in longer chunks, similar in size to this omnibus rather than the bite sized installments I’ve been posting so far. I’ll also be doing some spin-offs and new stories.

The yacht’s motion started to ease as we proceeded south, coming into the shelter of the Crete coast. We got up and dressed, donned our lifejackets and made our way up to the bridge. All was quiet. George was asleep on the guest bench at the rear of the bridge, his head on Maria’s lap. Her head was tilted to the side, somewhat asleep as well. Jorge was helming, Dimitri and Greg were nowhere to be seen. We crept to Jorge so as not to wake Maria or George; he whispered that the others were in their bunks. Dimitri was due on the helm in an hour or so.

Inside MY panties ...

Inside my panties…
Is a Gaff just a mistake?
Fake but necessary?
Looks right but feels wrong?
Does it make ME feel more womanly?
I love panties - so do I need the look-alike feel-wrong plastic-nasty 'thing'?
Does a gaff IMPROVE what I feel?
Now there's some questions.....

Changes to what drives Cameron seemingly happen without much thought or effort as she navigates everything before her. Her time in the Exhibit House rolls by quickly, but there are many considerations - Garrett, the chance she could get pregnant, what she'll do with her life if they escaped, and a change in their environment no one saw coming.

Authors Note: Dropping this chapter early because I'll be traveling for the holiday. Happy Turkey Day!

I started to pull on my shorts next morning. We were a little late getting up; not surprising. I had planned to have breakfast before my shower.

“No way, I want to spend the day with the girl I slept with last night”, Lisa was just dragging herself out of bed.

I shaved, carefully, despite being late as I could not risk a cut! My beard was very light in colour and density and I could have delayed shaving in male mode, but definitely not as a girl!

Life quickly settled into a routine. We generally picked up guests in the afternoon from a morning flight, or occasionally from a private aircraft. We all mustered to greet them and take their luggage, all delivered from the airport by limousine. Onboarding was a key point for Maria, Lisa and me. George did the initial greeting, then Maria took over, whilst Lisa and I kept the champagne and canapes going. The cabins had been prepared by the “shore crew”, down to the champagne minis in the bar, chocolates on the table and towels in the “heads”. All guest cabins were en-suite.