I was rehearsing the words in my mind as I walked in. Supermarkets were so different now to what they had been when I was younger, so many more things to buy, so many more to dream of. I had been through the big Asda store with the lies, and now it was time for Tesco. Pretty…there were dresses and tops, skirts and shoes, boots and bags, and unless I could gather the courage I would walk out lacking them all.

CHAPTER 90
We had to wind down in the end, and separate, with fierce hugs and promises to be home more often, and that word suddenly rang true to me. Home had become a simple concept: wherever I was with Eric, that was my home. Our house in Surrey, a tent at Shrewsbury, they were all I had believed I needed.

CHAPTER 89
Arwel was steering the male conversation around to the relative merits of bass and tenor balance in male voice choirs, and I half expected him to give a demonstration, but that would have been frivolity. Man’s voice was made for giving praise to the Arglwydd.

CHAPTER 87
There was a pub round the corner, and I watched Merry as she walked with us. There were hints in there of the young girl I remembered fuming when her favourite bra and three pairs of knickers had disappeared from the washing line.

CHAPTER 85
It was odd how easily I drifted into my new role as a ‘housewife’ and woman. Kirsty had been right, it was me, far more than Adam had ever been. Eric and I had a few differences of opinion, as couples do, but I got my way, as women mostly do, especially in redecorating the house.

CHAPTER 83
In the end I walked back with Polly and the Woods to their place, for a quick check as the kids settled down.

CHAPTER 81
She stood there, framed by the two and clinging to Polly’s hand, flinching every so often as a couple came near. I brought the tune to an end as quickly as I could without it seeming rushed, and then had a quick word with Steph, who understood immediately. A quick decision:

CHAPTER 79
Yes we went shopping, yes we bought a ring (joint account…I think I was missing a trick there) and yes it had to be paraded around work. Kirsty was insistent that it be worn “Otherwise some scrote of a punter will try chatting you up”

CHAPTER 77
I left it for a couple of days as the trial wound down, but I made sure I was there when the last of the witnesses was finally dismissed and the summing up was given by Her Honour Justice Wetherby. It was neat, it was simple, and it was brutal.

CHAPTER 75
What I think of as February weather hit us mid-January, those days without end that are grey and miserable and unfailingly damp.

CHAPTER 73
It is as strange as I hinted, how Christmas passes like a train in the distance when you are working, but we had managed to distribute some oddities and soddities to our friends, and Ginny and Kate, Stewie and Sally, made it for an unChristmas Dinner on an off day, for which Ginny and I prepared a Thai banquet with some Vietnamese twists, including spicy omelette eaten wrapped in lettuce leaves with fresh lemon grass. Well, that was as unChristmassy as we could imagine.

CHAPTER 71
We found the house, in the end, after a couple of false starts, and it was in a quiet back street in Horley. Not the most wonderful of areas, or houses, not at all like the one Steph had inherited, but it had three bedrooms, a very large garage, a reasonably spacious conservatory and a garden shaded by some huge mature horse chestnut trees. Only five miles from work, as well, for both of us, the route identical as far as the nick.

CHAPTER 70
He grinned to take the edge of the old joke, and I realised as his eyes went over my shoulder that the old joke was more for the benefit of Steph than me. I felt her hand come down on my shoulder, and I put mine over it.

CHAPTER 68
There were a few places that could work, but we realised there was going to be a lot of legwork ahead. We made a long-list, then a short-list, both of places and of estate agents that seemed at least a little less reptilian than the norm.

CHAPTER 67
I stumbled out of the bathroom straight into Den, who almost picked me up as he moved me out of the door in obvious urgency.

CHAPTER 65
Monday came, and it turned out that Kate had managed to pull some strings of her own and get the night off, along with the following Tuesday. Eric and I were staying with the Woodruffs that night, as riding half-cut through Crawley at pub closing time is never sensible.

CHAPTER 63
I walked out into the middle of the floor and looked around.

CHAPTER 61
Some day I would have to ask how far Kate and Sal went back, but for now it was enough to gather my man from his interview and confirm where I stood.

CHAPTER 59
Den just said, with a flicker of his eyes, “I will tell you a story one day, yeah?” and was off. The night was absolutely dead, work wise, and I spent large chunks of it nattering with Jim. I had, of course, noticed the civilian support staff flicking glances at my girls, but nothing worrying. Jim was at least open about things.

CHAPTER 57
Eric was down at the weekend, just as I switched to night shifts. He arrived early Friday evening, as I lay in bed trying to get a few hours sleep before going in, and the first I knew was when a warm body slipped into bed with me. I grunted a bit, then made my complaint.

CHAPTER 56
I was beside the old Rover at three thirty, the drips sounding like hammer blows, and then awake, knowing I had shouted but not remembering what.

CHAPTER 54
I was crapping myself as I did the final touches to my eyes and lips.

CHAPTER 52
There was silence in Custody at that, and I turned the radio off. Jim came back a few minutes later, looking spent.

CHAPTER 50
Richard took Kirsty into the interview as a witness, along with Polly, and I had to explain to the boy why I couldn’t stay with him.