There is something special about sharing a meal with somebody. When you share a common meal with somebody a bond is formed. And existing bonds become stronger. It's that reason that when me and my friends gather out in the woods, I always have us share a simple meal. Most of the time it's a snack, like somebody would bake cookies or something. Other times we'll go the whole hog and have a little cook-out in the woods. If we have a cookout, you know then there's going to at least three or four good stories told that night. Hot dogs, hamburgers, ice cold sodas and ghost stories, does it get any better than that? I don't think so. Not here in the rural south..

And so as Kayla and I sat down to share a simple meal or was it more of a snack, I think hot dogs, chips and soda count more as a snack or maybe casual dining if you will than a full blown meal. I started to ponder, how many meals had this old wooden table seen. How many Thanksgivings, Easters, and Christmases? How many funerals? And how many birthdays? Four generations of my family had gathered around this old wooden table to break bread together, to share their hopes, their dreams, to pour out their grief and sorrow. Four generations of celebrations. It was a lot to take in.

“Hey kiddo.” Kayla said at last. “You're doing it again.”

“Doing what?” I asked again.

“You're thinking again. I can just look at your face and tell you you're really deep in thought. So how about a penny for your thoughts?” She said, peering at me from across the table.

“Its just going too fast.” I said with a sign. “I mean I've been in Benton for like three years, and everything really changing.” I paused. “Let me explain. When I got here, downtown was not dead, but you could tell it had seen better days. I counted like six empty storefronts when I first biked downtown a week after you picked up from the bus stop.”

Kayla nodded her head.

“Now, those six empty storefronts are home to thriving businesses. And, like when I first started going to school, I was a nobody, I was that new kid. Now, it seems I'm popular and of all things a cheerleader!” I said again. Noting another change, my social life had totally changed for the better since I came to this tiny little village.

Kayla again nodded her head.

“I've published a collection of ghost stories. People seemed to enjoy them. I have a part-time job, and a car now..” I paused again trying to think. “I can't even remember being a boy! I had to fight for it, fight for the right to be Madeline and I won!”

“So?” Kayla asked. “You're one of those rare teens that seem to have everything together. Beside some rough patches here and there you've been a joy to have around. Honesty I had no idea what to expect when they told me you might be Transgender. I'm not going to say its been a walk in the park, more like a hike. You took the bull by the horns and wrestled him down to the ground.”

I blinked and blinked again. These heart to heart conversations were pretty rare.

“Go on.”

“I mean. Yes I might have been hard on you. I made you open a checking account, I made you take a lot of the work to get your name changed on your own. I made you go down to the courthouse to do a lot of the school work by yourself.” She paused. “I did that, because I wanted you to stand on your own two feet, you know. I knew mom had sheltered you. I knew that in four years, you would graduate from High School and head off into the world.” She paused again and took a swig of her soda.

I opened my mouth to speak.

“Hold on honey.” She said holding up her hand. “I'm not finished talking yet. And after your first summer with me, I kind of expected that Madeleine was here to say. But I was not sure. When you told me you wanted to be Madeline.. I knew then what I had to do.” She took another swig of her soda.

“I knew my job had changed from being a big sister to being a mom. And that I had four years to mold you into something. I was not going to send you into the world without some basic skills. I knew the odds were stacked against you, and I also knew that most women have eighteen years to figure themselves out and get their stuff together and that you only had four. I was scared, but since you were going to make a run of things, I was going to help you.”

I was beyond words at this point. I even sniffed the soda and took a small swallow of it. It was just that, soda. Sugary sweet soda.

“And here you are, a Junior in High School, on the honor roll. You're holding down a part time job, you're a cheerleader, a published author. And most of all, you're just an amazing kid, but you've stayed so humble through it all. Sure your freshman year was rough. And we had that flood your sophomore year. You're just a good kid all around and I'm proud to call you my little sister.” She paused again. “I just wish Mom.. could see how you've turned out. You've gone from an ugly caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly.”

“Sis?” I asked.

“I'm just so proud of you and all you've done.” She took another swig of her soda. “Anyway, you were about to say something?”

I blinked and looked down on the floor. A small smile crossed my face. Kayla at times could be something of a slave driver, and sometimes it felt like she was riding me way too hard. But she was right, she was just pushing me, pushing me to be a better me.

“Just, I want to say thank you. Thank you for all you've done for me.” At this point I started to nibble on my hot dog, I was kind of taken back.

Kayla blinked and before I could catch myself she was reaching across the table and wrapping her arms around me, I felt a sudden blush color my cheek as I felt those strong arms fold around me and I felt myself being pulled toward her chest. Soon my face was being smothered between the mounds of her breast. Kayla is a good half inch taller than me, having grown up a diet of garden vegetables, venison, yard bird, that chicken for you city folks and hog meat, molasses and lets not forget cornmeal.

“Lord knows you have sugar on them lips girl.” She said as she hugged me tight. “Sweetest thing on God's good green earth, that what you are!”

I blinked and blinked again. And for a moment I just stood there, you know all resting in Kayla's warm embrace. Then I felt her arms starting to tighten and breathing soon became a chore. In my mind the following scene was playing out, Kayla over come with affection for me was hugging me so tight she was kind of crushing me, and my head was turning blue, blue like a blueberry, you know like what happens when somebody hugged so tight all the air leaves their lungs and they go blue in the face. It happens all the time in those old Saturday morning cartoons.

“Kayla...Kayla!” I said, starting to twitch a little. It was an anime like jester. “I can't breath!”

Kayla looked down at me, blinked and quickly released me. She then backed away a little and a small smile graced her face as she looked away. The way she was looking now, reminded me of a child who's gotten caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

“Sorry about that sis.” She said blushing a little.

I paused then. There had been something I wanted to ask her, See my father had been killed when I was four years old, my sister was fourteen at the time. A month after the funeral my sister had come out of the closet and mom had well kicked her out. But, I wanted to know a little more about my dad. My father had always remained this mystery figure that loomed largely in the background. Now, dad grew up in Benton. The town then had a population of twenty five hundred souls, it has since grown to four thousand or maybe five. I could have asked anybody around town about my dad. I mean I guess I could have asked around town. But where to start? That was the problem, I only knew a few people that had known dad. Uncle William and Aunt Isabella seemed to have spoken highly of him. Mr. Potter seemed to have respected, though he went to Benton Academy while my dad had gone to Benton High.

And so, that left only one remaining person. My older sister Kayla. I know I'll be taking a chance. But I had to know. I had to know about him. I mean we had visited mom's grave a few years ago, why had we not visited dad's grave?

“Hey sis?”

“Yes?” Kayla said moving back a bit. I believe she read the tone of my voice.
“What kind of man was daddy?” I asked before my courage could drain away.

Kayla blinked and blinked again. She took a deep breath and then slowly walked over to me, she then once more folded her arms across me and pulled me into a tight hug. “Finish eating hon. Then I'll tell everything I know.”