I was too nervous to call Sue back. I messaged her that I had a good time shopping. Then I told her that my mother and I had a good mother/daughter talk. No, I didn’t tell her about our discussion. She did ask about my conversation with Marcy and we agreed our conversations with close friends were for ourselves.

She said she would wait until tomorrow to talk to me in person and asked if she could come over to my house and get a ride home later.

The next school day greeted me with the news that the school office wanted me right away, and I was worried about what I did to be requested. Principal Brown greeted me to come into her office. Once there she held a letter from the South Plainfield Middle School, she said, “They are inviting our participation in their Octoberfest on October 24. It includes an invitation for our girls to play in a tennis tournament. It named you as one of our possible conte3stants. What do you know about this?”

I smiled, but said, “I didn’t know anything about the invitation, but I suspect DeeDee Sylvan was the one who mentioned me to their staff.” I informed Principal Brown that I had taken tennis lessons this past summer and had been playing some.

I thought to myself, ‘I’ve forgotten DeeDee; we should have gone to Color My World for school clothes. I should have called DeeDee and been a good friend.”

Mrs. Brown said, “They must have known of your identity issues as they mentioned since it is a friendly tournament the Girls’ Athletic Association rules need not be applied.” The Principal looked up at me and asked, “Do you want to play and are you any good?”

“If I’m having a good day,” I said, “I can beat DeeDee and she had played before. I do better playing doubles. I am not particularly strong as one might expect a boy to be.”

The School Superintendent had entered the office from behind me and spoke up, “We’re not set on winning as much as we don’t want to be an embarrassment. We are happy to know you have some ability. Do you know Cyndi Powell and Abbey Ward?”

I said, “We are in the same grade and they have been more active in sports than I have been, but we haven’t been in the same circles of friends.”

Superintendent Briggs said, “Please keep this to yourself, as our attending the event has not been confirmed yet. There will be educational implications for all participating.”

Principal Brown said to me, “I’ve asked your history teacher to teach what it would have been like for our early settlers. And I would like you to find out about Constance Hopkins, a girl who was an original member of the Plymouth Rock community.”

Here it was the 20th, of September and I was being singled out for something in school, ‘I was hoping this would affirm my being accepted as Jamie. I didn’t know who Constance Hopkins was, but one can google about anything.’

The next thing I knew at lunch Cyndi Powell asked me to sit with her for lunch. Cyndi said, “I hear you play tennis; maybe we can ask to play tennis instead of what the rest of the class is doing. Would you be up to that?”

“How good are you; I’m not sure I play as well as you?”

Cyndi says, “It would just be a casual game to see how well we can play. We’d be using the school’s rackets and old tennis balls. You can’t play an ‘A’ game with that.”

I commented on Cyndi’s hair and then she mentioned Rick Wise and what she liked about him. I was comfortable that our time together ended with regular girl talk.

Sue and I met with Ms. Stafford about our independent study, and that we were not reading our Jane Austin books. Ms. Stafford mentioned that she thought we might become good friends. Ms. Stafford withdrew, allowing us time to meet together.

Sue said, “I didn’t want to scare you, by my saying I might whisk you away myself. I’m just wanting to be friends now and forever. You do have beautiful hazel eyes. I wouldn’t want to come between you and Marcy. I never knew if you were just best friends or girl and boyfriends.”

She said, “I know it is none of my business, but do you like girls or boys better?”

I said, “You’re right, it’s my business. Between you and me, I think it will be a while before I’m better settled into being me, and knowing how I’m wired that way.”

“My hormone mixture is still settling out. I like being a girl and discovering all that it takes in. I kind of think I’m a bit like Jane Austin it is easier to explore than it is in living it out.”

It was time for gym and Cyndi was waiting for me with a big smile. My gym shoes were not my tennis shoes, and I’d rather be wearing one of my tennis outfits. The tennis balls and rackets weren’t great either, but that was true for Cyndi as well.

We played, loosening up for ten minutes, and then started to play more intentionally. Cyndi had started playing seriously when she was ten. It was fun playing with someone who had more skills and abilities. It was giving me a chance to learn by playing.

Cyndi complimented me on how graceful I was already becoming. She said, “It’s funny that you are switching your hormones just when many guys' growth hormones kick in. But then again being 5’6” even 5’9” would be nicer fashion-wise for a girl.”

‘Is she correct, that I might miss out on a growing spurt? As James, I wanted to grow to be six foot tall.’

I got home and had two calls and a conversation I wanted with my mother. First, I called DeeDee. She laughed as I said, “Hello, this is Jamie.”

She asked, “Is this because I mentioned you play tennis, or did you finally remember me?” She mentioned that she had been playing more tennis. “I was disappointed that you didn’t come to Color My World for back-to-school clothes.”

I asked, “Do you have some left that I’d look good in?” We talked and it was good to be back as friends. She was enjoying her new year at school and told me more of their plans for their Octoberfest. We ended the call with me saying I and Marcy would go to their store shopping on Saturday.

Marcy was the one to dominate the first part of our conversation. She said, “There’s this guy, Marty, and we’re likely to go to the next school dance together. I was wondering if you had your eye on anyone that you might go to a dance with?”

I said, “It is more likely Sue and I would come. She’s even shier than I am when it comes to meeting people. We were hoping Cortney and Toni might attend things like that with us. Toni says her big sister goes to high school activities as a group.”

I’ve begun to be with Marcy to learn how girls do things. Marty is the second boyfriend and Marcy’s cool about it. She even asks about what I experience around boys. She said even when you date a boy like Josh, I should be learning things about myself. She said, “You are going to like boys and eventually when your guard is down, you’re going to like him a lot! That’s when I want to know what you experience. Remember we’ve been best friends and we tell everything.”

Mom came to my room tonight, asking what was going on. She said I was acting differently. When I mentioned Marcy talking about a school dance; Mom asked if I was planning to go to high school dances. She said I needed their permission, and she’d need to know who I was going with. I was surprised when Mom asked if there were boys in Marcy’s grade that I was interested in. We talked about me being open and not hiding from boys that I’m transgender.

“Mom, I sometimes feel like I’m wearing a Scarlet Letter like there’s something bad about me. People say ‘No’, but that’s how I feel sometimes. Mom hugged me.

When I mentioned going shopping and having talked to DeeDee, Mom smiled. “I hadn’t heard you talking about her, I wonder if that friendship soured or what happened?”

Mother agreed that I had more school shopping and fall clothes needed for my wardrobe. I was given a budget of $200 to stay within, but I needed to call before I spent more than $120.

I called Sue to confirm I could go shopping on Saturday. And Sue informed me that there was a school dance at the high school the following Saturday. I mentioned the possibility of Cortney or Toni going with us, and Sue mentioned Layla Jones. We agreed two more would be ideal. Each of us would ask one person at a time. Sue said that she had another idea for a boy to dance with me, but wouldn’t tell me who.

She did suggest that if we went to Color My World; I should ask DeeDee to help me buy some good makeup.

I had talked to DeeDee again the next day, and Dee said that her mother had given her permission for time away from the store. She loved the idea of helping me to buy makeup and a kit. I had what a boy thought was more than enough, but it had limited what I could do.

Sue had talked me into running before school three times a week. Her incentive was that I get in shape for the junior high tennis competition. Running at 6:00 would never have happened with James, but my vanity was part of my inspiration.

My legs weren’t terrible, but more needs to be said for a girl’s legs. How my world has changed? I’m spending an hour more a night studying, and now getting up earlier to run. That doesn’t include that I now have a social life and talk to several girls every night

Sue and I went to the home football game on Friday night. I watched Josh play some, but it was Marcy’s boyfriend Marty and his friend Ryan that got the extra time after visiting on the sidelines. Marty and Ryan are both juniors in high school. Dating a junior would not go well with my parents, but I wouldn’t need to get permission if we met at the dance and I was invited to dance with Ryan.

I met Ryan in passing after the game and before I went home. I was sure nothing would come of it, but he did invade my dreams. ‘Could a real boy find me attractive as a girl?’ I heard Sue saying. ‘Yes, but I shouldn’t set my sights so high.’ She reminded me that he was a junior, a football player, and must have girlfriends.’

Saturday’s shopping was great; Mom took us to the mall at 9:30. She’d give us a ride home after we called in the afternoon. I gave DeeDee a big hug as soon as I saw her. She smiled, “Did you feel guilty for having forgotten me?”

I did and I apologized, I’m sorry but the closer I got to going back to school, I got caught up in all the activity. I also want to introduce you to Sue. She’s my partner in an independent study of women writers. We’ve become quick friends.”

DeeDee and Sue said hello and quickly share information about themselves. Sue asked, “Do you really own this store or do you just work here?”

Dee called over to her Mom, “Mom, Sue here wants to know if I own the store or just work here?”

Mrs. Sylvan, “Tell her that you don’t work here, but come to talk to others like her… You should ask them what they’d be interested in looking at.”

Sue said, “If I’m going to be Jamie’s friend, my mother said I needed to find another skirt or two.” DeeDee walked us to the skirts and dresses as she asked Sue about colors, sizes, and styles.

I was quickly interested in a jeans mini skirt. Dee quickly handed me two tops to try on with the skirt I was taking to the changing room. Dee asked how much weight I lost since early August.

Sue mentioned that I was also up early running three mornings a week.

Dee complimented me that my legs and tush both looked nice. Then she asked if a boy was in the picture.

I was soon in a changing room but also trying to hear Dee and Sue talking. I couldn’t hear enough to understand anything. I thought Sue mentioned Ryan’s name. Sue went into a changing room as I was reading to go out and find what they thought of the outfit I had on.

Dee commented as the day went on that I was becoming a regular girl.

Come noon, Renee Sylvan told her daughter, “Marge is here for the rest of the day; you have my permission to go have some lunch and then shop with your friends. Talk to Jamie and make sure she’s doing her research on Constance Hopkins.”

We didn’t eat much, but we talked and went around the mall. Dee took me to Ulta Beauty and asked a saleswoman to help me to choose the right makeup for me. She said, “We often do that as part of a salon appointment.”

When I told her I had permission to spend one hundred and fifty dollars on makeup, but that my friends are to make sure it is good for me. She introduced herself, “I’m Jenn. We’ll have some complimentary gifts as well as set you up with the makeup and skincare products that you might be missing. I could tell Dee was impressed as Jenn took thirty minutes before trying to sell me anything. I was getting Philosophy’s Amazing Grace set of perfumes.

When she kept trying to sell me the small inexpensive makeup kits, I protested that I didn’t want to be treated as a little girl. Jenn was more than happy to oblige me. From Clinique to Petite and Pretty she took to show me how to put together mix-and-match sets that she said and DeeDee agreed were good for me. I was under the money I could have spent but I was more than happy with what I got. I bought a nice makeup kit for home and Ulta was giving me two free makeup bags, and a good amount of other samples, urging me to come back and buy more of the samples that I liked.

We were about ready to go into Senora’s when Sue spotted Marcy and her boyfriend. After we said hello, I realized that Ryan was with them. Sue asked who had come with Ryan expecting some girl to be with them.

Marcy said, “I knew you were coming shopping and Ryan was wanting to meet the girl I introduced him to after the fame… Ryan this is Jamie, she’s in eighth grade as I told you. These two are DeeDee Sylvan who you met her mother earlier. She goes to South Plainfield. And Sue Hall is in Jamie’s grade and is Josh’s little sister.”

Ryan said, “Hi! I don’t want to disturb you and your friends, but I was hoping you might be going to the dance this coming week…”

Story to be Continued…