Trying to do something special for Mother sounded so simple.

Saturday, I visited with Marcy, as I was wondering about having other girl experiences. She was going to talk with her grandmother about teaching the two of us how to cross-stitch or do embroidery. I asked her if I’d look silly asking Ms. Ross to teach me how to sow. She was surprised that I noticed some girls’ blouses had what she called darts and embroidery work. The darts helped to shape a blouse or skirt to accent the fit of the clothing.

Marcy told me, that I should talk to my mother about if it would be okay for me to have a regular girl figure for our mother/daughter event. I did and my mother laughed, “It is okay with me, as it is not unusual for a girl your age to have breasts that have developed. I had thought you probably wouldn’t want to go that far in appearance as a girl.”

I said, “It is not that I want them Mommy, but it is fitting if I’m your 14-year-old daughter.”

She said, “We can go to Bonnie’s Lingerie shop and, I'm sure, she will be very discrete in fitting you as my daughter.”

It was 7:30 that evening when my mother took me to Bonnie’s and we entered the store from the back of the store. Bonnie was smiling and speaking softly as she took my hand. “There are many young girls your age wanting help in appearing as a young woman for special occasions. Please, let my daughter Barbie help you.”

I looked up to see Barb Turner was there. She had been a cheerleader before she graduated from high school. Seeing the change in my expression, she said, “I see that you remember me. I remember you often sat with young Marcy Robins. It seemed you were wanting to be like a cheerleader even then?”

Her mother had placed my hand in Barb’s and it was only natural to step toward her. “I know you have worn a bra already, but you should think of this as you getting your first bra. Remember April 27th, may it become a special day only to you.”

Surprised, I began to say, “But I’m not planning on being a girl, I just wanted to look like a real girl for a mother/daughter event.”

Barb smiled, “I understand, but don’t be surprised or ashamed. I don’t think either your mom or I will be surprised; if your volunteering came from a deeper desire than you admit now.” She took me back to where she showed me some breast forms for a young teenage girl. “Let’s look at and maybe try a few to find what is most pleasing to you. Would that be okay?”

I was ready to cry from embarrassment, but I gazed into Barb’s soft blue eyes. They were calming, as she said, “That won’t do, I want to see a smile like mine.” And I found myself trying to please her. My blouse and camisole were not yet off, and Barb had shown me three forms to consider. “Which of these would you like to try first?”

I couldn’t believe it when I pointed to one pair and asked what she thought of them. She asked me to lay on a table, “For now I will use a mild adhesive that will make it easy to try these and others if need be.” She then gave me a choice of three small bras. And when my hands moved toward them, she invited me to touch and lift them and look more closely. She said, “You have a way about you that speaks nicely of your girl side.” I had looked at all three but felt myself lingering as I held one in particular.

Barb said, “It looks like you have settled on this one for now.” I am laying back down as the forms are properly attached to my chest. I am holding my breath as she carefully puts them in place. Barb is lightly pressing and touching the edges of the forms. My boyhood was beginning to react when she placed a cold gel form in a towel down near my legs. It had the desired effect. The first forms and bra appeared great to me. But Barb quietly had me try the different forms and several different bras. I was afraid she was going to be upset that I loved the first pair of forms in the first bra. Barb said, “You know we didn’t waste our time. Your first is often the right one, but I wanted you to take your time to make sure you learn how to experience such times as a girl. Now lay back and I will clean you off and use the better sealant to hold them in place for the next few days. I'll use good makeup to blend where the form and your skin meet.”

I quickly said, “But I can’t, others will know.”

Barb had this knowing smile, “You’ll need to wear a bulky sweatshirt around those you don’t want to know. But this is needed so you will get used to them. You can show yourself off to friends like Marcy. I am sure there are others you will want to show.” Barb left a white satin blouse; she left me so I could finish getting dressed. Bonnie walked out of the room with Barb, and that is when my mother stepped out from where she had quietly been watching.

I said, “Mom, she left me this simple white satin blouse, what should I do?”

My mother said, “Barb knows from experience how to show one’s feminine side off and have you become comfortable with yourself.”

“Mother, did you know that Bonnie was going to have Barb do this for me? I didn’t even know Barb was her daughter.”

My mother said, “Bonnie suggested it when I called. I couldn’t have imagined how wonderful it actually went and that you didn’t even complain about how much time it took.” I saw a clock and realized it was now after 9:00 p.m. and that I had taken over an hour and a half to choose one bra and my breast forms.

We were back home, and my father and Dan were surprised. My mother let Dan walk away, but she was straightforward with my father. “Doesn’t she look like a daughter we can be proud of?”

Mom encouraged me to go to my room and get ready for bed. I went to my room, but it was to my computer I went to and pulled up a new file, ‘my diary’, “April 27th, I was fitted for and bought my first breast forms and bra. Barb Turner, Bonnie’s daughter now in college helped me try and fitted me tonight. I feel all giggly and girlie inside.”

Marcy soon called me, using my video line. “Where have you been all night? I tried calling you numerous times.”

“I guess my mother took my phone when I wasn’t looking. She had taken me to Bonnie’s shop and you won’t guess who awaited me?”

“By your excitement, I’m going to guess her daughter Barbara.” She said, “I see you wearing a new blouse and bra; I would think it made you so wonderful that you went running out of there and all the way home.” I could hear a giggle in her voice. So do you feel like a girl who was with someone she admired?"

I said, “She even remembered me sitting with you in front of them cheering or when they played sports.”

Marcy said, “I’m surprised she remembered back that far, but I guess it was unusual for a boy to be sitting there.” I hadn’t remembered it as being unusual. “It was mostly cheerleader wannabes I guess.”

My mother knocked and came into my room behind me and saw I was visiting with Marcy. Mom asked, “What do you think of my budding daughter?”

“Ma Evans, your Jamie is blossoming into a beautiful daughter for you.” My mother gave me a warm hug from behind.

Looking at the computer screen I could see our reflection. I probably felt as warm inside as my proud mother did. My mother suggested that I unbutton my blouse enough that Marcy could see my new girls.

Marcy complimented us on using good taste in choosing the appropriate size for my being fourteen. My mother left us to talk but limited me to another thirty minutes and then to get myself properly to bed. Getting ready for bed now took 30-40 minutes longer than it had for me, Jamie.

Thursday morning Mom woke me at six, she asked, “Did you remember you have your annual dentist appointment today?” I hadn’t remembered and I questioned if I had one. I checked the family calendar on the board near the kitchen. “7:45, James dentist.”

Mom approached me from behind, “When Lori called with the reminder, she said, “It would be nice to see Jamie. So I suggest you go in femme today.”

I said, “But I still have school today?”

I knew I had already been to school as Jamie and it was okay. Mom said, “It is up to you, I’m not going to press you. It is time for you to know you’re making the decision. Just however you go, don’t wear a white top, when you go to the dentist.”

I ate breakfast went back to my room and picked out my outfit before going to take a shower. Dressing as Jamie meant I didn’t need to wear a bulky top. The colorful print top would go nicely with my light blue skirt with red swirls.

I relaxed and enjoyed my shower. I knew I had been singing but it wasn’t until my brother Dan mentioned hearing me; then I realized I was singing the girl’s part of a Fleetwood Mac song. Mom walked by and asked Dan, “What song was she singing?”

Dan said, “I don’t know their songs but he was singing something about being in over my head.”

Mother said, “Over my Head, that’s a nice song. Jamie, what made you sing that song?”

I said, “I don’t know but it seems fitting, trying to be a girl is all but impossible for a boy.”

Dan chuckled, “You seem to be doing a great job with no problems.”

I said, “Quit teasing.”

Mom said, “I think he meant it as a compliment.” I looked at Dan and he was shaking his head up and down. Thankfully he soon left the room.

I asked my mother, “I don’t think I have any cavities, but I was wondering if our dental insurance covers teeth whitening?”

Mom had a hint of a giggle; but then said, “No, it doesn’t. But Lori the dental technician said if you thought about it you might be open to it. She thinks she could get your teeth two or three shades whiter, and that would help your smile.”

“It’s probably a little vain for a boy, but I noticed Marcy has a brighter smile and that her teeth seem whiter,” I said.

Mom asked if I had anything important during my second class hour. She was happy when I told her no. Mom said, “Then you’re a lucky girl; Lori can do the whitening this morning.”

I asked, “Do you think the outfit I have out will be all right for the dentist and school?” She said it would be very good. I asked, “Between going to school as Jamie and having my teeth whitened, do you think anyone might tease me.”

Mom said, “Why don’t you let Marcy and Teri know what you’re doing? They’ll probably have noticed anyway, but this would prepare them to be supportive of you. That would probably set the mood for how others respond.”

I text a message to Marcy, Molly, and Teri; and Marcy was soon on face to face with me. “Wow, James! Did you already have an appointment or do you think your mom is out to pamper her daughter?”

I asked, “What do you mean out to pamper me?”

“Well,” Marcy said, “I think your mother is enjoying this time and doing what she can to make this a wonderful time for you as her daughter. It’s the only time she’ll ever have. Whether she sees it as such, she wants to enjoy this time you have given her. Have you ever noticed she has such a bright smile and has always taken care of her teeth, and has such sweet breath? I think she wants that as part of your experience as well.”

The time came for Marcy to go to school and me to the dentist with my mother. It’s a beautiful spring day and there is enough breeze to ruffle my hair. There is a clean spring scent in the air. I heard a bluebird chirp to me from a branch. It stood out in the flowering redbud tree.

My mother asked what I was so happy about, and I said, “I feel like a girl realizing that it is a beautiful spring day.” And mom responded that she saw me that way too.

I never liked riding to the dentist, but today it was a cheerful trip. The receptionist said hello, and mumbled something about Lori being correct. Another young assistant was soon out to take me back. She said, “Lori was happy to hear that you came to Jamie, is it? …I hope you don’t mind but Lori let me know this was a special visit for you. I would not have recognized you unless she had.”

Lori the dental hygienist was in such a cheerful mood as she came into our room. She said, “Dr. Brad said, I can check for cavities, but he doesn’t expect me to find any. And that if you are open to me giving you a teeth whitening treatment, I can start as soon after that as possible. While it can take seven to ten days to see the full effect; it will be two to three shades brighter by the time you leave. We have the Philips Zoom process and it might get even whiter. I’m sure the girls at school will notice. You have taken good care of your teeth so the contrast won’t be as obvious as it would be for others. You will probably feel like smiling more that is not unusual for some girls.”

I said, “My Mom said, it’s not covered by dental insurance; how expensive is it?”

Lori smiled as she patted my hand, “I am not sure what the actual cost is; you will need to ask the woman at the desk that. All I know is that your mother talked with them, and she said they can manage that.”

They put thicker-than-usual wraps over my clothes and around my neck. She assessed that I didn’t have any cavities and that the process would take care of any plaque problems. They turned on the overhead TV and gave me earbuds to follow a Disney movie. It was Frozen II which I had only seen snippets of. I had to have my mouth rinsed out now and then and let them move around me. It wasn’t always comfortable, but it never hurt.

By the time Lori was finishing, Frozen II was almost over. When I saw the difference, I was very pleased and didn’t mind missing the last of the movie. Lori told me she used a sealant polish over my teeth, but asked that I not use lipstick for another two hours. I wondered if she knew that I wanted to apply some lipstick and see how my smile looked.

My mother was called back to see if she was happy and satisfied with the result. I could see the joy in my mother’s smile, so I quickly knew the answer. Even Dr. Brad was invited in to check on me. Lori said she did that so he wouldn’t be caught by surprise the next time he saw me.

He whispered to my mother, thinking I wouldn’t hear him. He said, “I might not have realized who she was if you hadn’t been in here with her.”

My mother drove me home so I could refresh my appearance before she took me to school. The school was finishing the third period of classes by the time I arrived there. The school secretary suggested I wait until the change of classes and go to my next class. I only had to wait a short time. Those like Marcy and Teri who saw me; quickly hugged me and pulled me into a girls’ room.

“Jamie, this is fantastic, but you should have some lipstick on,” Teri said. Marcy quickly got us to go to our next class in history. Mr. Bower soon noticed me; I knew he wasn’t excited about me dressing as a girl, but today he just gave a small smile and didn’t say anything. When I raised my hand to answer a question, he called on someone else.

When I was leaving at the end of the class, he was by the door and said, “I’m guessing this is your special weekend. I think you’ve handled things well. I hope you have a good time.”

I gave him a questioning look, as he was the last teacher I expected to acknowledge me and what I was doing. I didn’t know what to say back, I’m sure I mumbled a thank you.

We were leaving the cafeteria; when we bumped into my friend Pete and talked a short bit. The expression on his face changed as we were talking and he quickly excused himself. Molly and Marcy both gave me a tap and said I should be ashamed of myself. Marcy passed me a note and told me, “You caused Pete to get a ‘woody’.

When I tried denying it she passed another note, “It was not your fault nor his, that’s the effect a good-looking girl might have on a boy with hormones.” She had fun watching my facial expression change as I read her note. The idea was gross, but I knew it was not going to get better by talking about it.

My last class of the day was language arts and Ms. Stafford took notice of me as I entered the room. “I heard you came to school today Jamie. I agree with others that you look very nice today.” Ms. Stafford, hands down, is the prettiest of the teachers in junior high school. I knew other girls felt good when they got a compliment from her and I was no different.

Marcy was next to me as we sat down, and she handed me a new lipstick. But I knew we were not to apply makeup in class. Ms. Stafford spoke up, “Jamie Evans, if you need to use the restroom, please hurry and do so.” It did not take me long to get up, go to the girls' room and apply my makeup and lipstick and run a comb through my hair.

It was a class in which we were diagramming sentences and as we used our computers, the teacher could observe if we were getting it correct. She made one comment to Jeff and Pete about not talking and concentrating on their work.

Ms. Stafford had me wait after class, and she asked, “You’ve usually been one of the boys having trouble concentrating. I hope you enjoyed the fact that you were probably the distraction today.”

I wrinkled my face, “Gross, I hope not.”

Ms. Stafford said, “I doubt you have worked very hard to become a daughter your mother can be proud of. Getting boys to notice you, just goes with the territory. Now you’ll have an understanding from the girl’s point of view. It is neither good nor gross, it just is,”

I paused and sat down, smoothing my skirt under me as a girl, I did so. I asked, “You don’t think it is weird that a boy is dressed as a girl and that I have other boys looking at me?”

She smiled, “It might be different, but you wouldn’t be the first girly boy to flirt in my class.” She corrected herself, “I don’t think you were flirting, I think it was normal for boys who see a new girl in class to get ideas as they do.”

Ms. Stafford said, “You don’t need to, but if you would like; you could talk to me about your weekend afterward and it would be just between you and me. I’ve done it with other girls.”

I knew it was a strange thought of me confiding in her, but I also liked she gave me the possibility. “I don’t know what to say, but thanks, Ms. Stafford.”

She paused, before saying, “I like your mom very much, and I know if I were her, I would want someone to be there for my son if needed.” I quickly gave her a short hug and left the room.

I went to my locker to get rid of most of my books and put my computer in my bag to go home. Marcy was there and she smiled as she was happy for me. We stopped at her house and talked about how good my teeth and smile looked…

She talked to me about the possibility of Jamie dating or going to dance after my weekend. It took a bit of convincing her that I was not wanting to talk about anything like that now. She had a suitcase for me to borrow for my trip. She had some small satchels with zippers that I could use for makeup and toiletries.

I’m listening, confused in believing I could be doing this and have the help of my best friend to do so.

It was after 5:30 when I got home but neither my mom nor dad had gotten home from work yet. I checked my messages and it wasn’t going to be until sometime after seven that my mother would get off of her nurse duties.

It was after 7:30 before she got home, and I was already in an apron and had started what we were having for dinner. The fish fillets were already thawed out and breaded. I knew the temperature to bake them at with just a squirt of lemon over each fillet. Mom hugged me and I knew it was one of the first mother/daughter times we would have this weekend.

To be continued…