Previously: Marcy talked to me about the possibility of Jamie dating or going to dance after my weekend. It took a bit of convincing her that I was not wanting to talk about anything like that now….
I’m listening, confused in believing I could be doing this and have the help of my best friend to do so…
It was after 5:30 when I got home but neither my mom nor dad had gotten home. It wasn’t going to be until sometime after seven that my mother would get off of her nurse duties…
It was after 7:30 before she got home, and I was already in an apron and had started dinner. The fish fillets were already thawed out and breaded. I was to bake them with just a squirt of lemon over each fillet. Mom hugged me and I knew it was one of the first mother/daughter times we would have this weekend…
Now: When I got home from school early on Friday, my Aunt Beth was there to help me. I had ordered a gaff via a medical supply store and Aunt Beth agreed to help me put it on properly. It was embarrassing, and yet not. We reasoned this was the time that it would look better for me to be fully in girl mode. It was better that I be embarrassed with my Aunt and not later on my weekend.

I did not know that my mother had invited Aunt Beth and Cousin Monica to go with us into NYC and go out to dinner and the Broadway theatre. Monica had spritzed me with a perfume she was gifting me for the weekend. Neither did I expect Marcy to gift me with a nightie. Mom and I with Rose and Maria checked into our room for the weekend. Aunt Beth and Monica had a room across the hall as did Marcy and her mother. The four of us girls used two of the bathrooms and our mothers used the other two. It was enjoyable all the way around.

We had reservations at Da Andrea at six and our show started at eight that evening. Six is at the Atkinson Theatre; I did not know it was an over-the-top female performance. Da Andrea, an Italian restaurant, was ideal. I had chicken Parmesan and each of us daughters was given one ounce of wine to celebrate.

My understanding was the musical had something roundabout to do with the wives of Henry XIII. The moms got more of the humor, and Marcy, Maria, and Monica were more into the songs. I enjoyed the music and what I understood; usually, some joined in on the chorus of the songs. I would have enjoyed it as James, but being dressed to the nines and being one of the girls made it a fantastic evening.

I said, Goodnight and goodbye to Marcy and Monica before I went to bed late Friday at midnight. There were a dozen daughters of us who were rather close in age and enjoyed relating to one another as well as our moms and the larger group. Having New York City salon makeovers, hairstyles, and nail treatments was fantastic. Early Saturday morning other teenage daughters and I started the morning with facials and pampering. We wore terrycloth short-shorts and narrow terrycloth tubes to cover our breasts. I don’t know if all the moms were there, I only knew for sure my Mom and Rose were there to share in the experience.

Saturday afternoon we got to relax by listening to female singers; while watching a fashion show. Our moms got to buy one fashion item for themselves, and one for their daughter. We had three hours of shopping along Fifth Avenue which was to include a restaurant lunch. Having it geared for girls and women made things so different for me. I knew many of the famous male athletes, teams, and society names, but this was geared toward girls and women. Learning about women, girls, and our history as such was made to pique and hold our interest. Our moms heard and met some women that they grew up with and loved. We got to meet one of the Williams sisters. We also met women’s basketball players from Liberty’s BB, the Sharks FB, and the Gotham FC soccer team were there for the evening meal. They were beautifully dressed and talked about much more than sports. I’m fairly sure at least two of our special guests may have figured I was TG or a boy. Ali and Taryn both signed their team jerseys for me. Ali said she heard good things about me, which caused me to blush and gain the attention of others. Ali winked, “You’re safe with me.” She then commented on how nice each of us looked.

Sunday morning was a unique time of meditation using different proverbs where the Spirit of Wisdom, Sophia, was talked about. We had a time when mom listened to me about things I liked and my friends, especially my girlfriends.

And then I got to ask the questions of my mother and things she told me about the women in my ancestry. I rarely had ever thought of my mother or grandmothers as younger girls with their family names and identities. It was a great-great-grandmother who sailed across the ocean on a ship with sails. Her name was changed to Audrene Jones when the immigration person could pronounce her name. Her mom came to America as a single parent with her three children and a sponsor who hired her as a cook and housekeeper. I learned that my great-grandmother had a younger brother Jean. Because they didn’t have much he wore many of my great-grandmother and her sister’s hand-me-downs. He was often mistaken for another daughter. I learned I had distant cousins called Jones’.

My mom giggled each time I showered or changed my clothes and all she saw was her daughter in her panties and bra. On the other hand, I was glad I had my mother’s help in selecting the proper dress or outfit for certain occasions. Come Sunday morning I was regretting the thought of returning to being James. It was indeed what I wanted, but I knew I would miss looking pretty and the way I felt being a girl and daughter. Sunday late afternoon my father came to pick us up and take us home. But there was to be a dance before the event ended.

Some boys came from nearby churches, synagogues, and temples to dance with us. I got to dance with two boys one named Erik and the other David. David asked if I minded dancing with a Jewish boy, he was happy when I did not. I giggled to myself that I couldn’t tell if he was Jewish or not. After my second dance with Erik; he kissed me. I guess you could say we kissed as I didn’t pull away. It was after my next dance with David that he asked me if he could kiss me. I wasn’t wanting to be kissed by another boy, but I said yes because Erik had kissed me. I liked David’s kiss more as it was a mutual decision.

Afterward, my mother asked me if I kissed David longer because he got aroused, or did he get aroused as we kissed longer. She knew she was embarrassing me but thankfully kept it between her and me.

We stopped at a restaurant in New Jersey on our way home where my mother brought in an outfit and asked if I wanted to change back and look like James again. My parents were just having coffee and a piece of pie and I ordered tea and a piece of cherry pie. The place had a family restroom where I could have safely changed, I decided that I didn’t want to as I’d have to take off my makeup and jewelry as well. Or at least that was the excuse I gave. I don’t think I surprised my mom or dad.

Monday was the third day of May, the school treated it as Mayday and seventh graders were to help the lower elementary students make and dance around a Maypole with different color streamers. Many of the little boys were upset about dancing saying it was girlish.

I was approached by Ms. Stafford, one of my teachers, and she asked James why don’t you help show the younger boys that bigger boys liked to dance as well? Pete and Teri would tease me for acting like a girl again, but I talked Pete and Roger into showing the children it was not only me. I thought it was funny when it was Pete who was chosen one time to be wrapped with the streamers. Ms. Stafford whispered to him, “Peter this was usually for a young girl who was selected to be a princess for the day.”

The others who were wrapped by the colored ribbons were given a little tiara and wand, but Peter was spared that embarrassment.

Marcy and I have been talking a lot since I was back at school. Finally, at the end of school on Wednesday, I asked her, “Would you please come with me; I want to talk to Ms. Stafford?”

Marcy asked, “What do you think she can say?” Marcy knew that Ms. Stafford had said I can talk to her. When we got to her classroom she seemed in a hurry to leave.

I became disheartened, but Marcy said, “Ms. Stafford, I hope it’s not too important that you need to leave.” Ms. Stafford paused and looked at the clock and there was a strain on her face. Marcy said, “James has been worrying about something awful, and you said he could confide in you.”

It was Jamie’s voice that came from James; it surprised even me. “I liked what I did, but I feel so messed up. I want to be both James and Jamie, but I know that’s sick.” James said, “I know it’s not your problem and I can see you need to get someplace. I shouldn’t have come, I’m sorry.” James had turned around to leave, but he was shaking.

Ms. Stafford scooted in front of the door, blocking James from leaving. One of her hands lightly touched his shoulder. “I think; it is important enough to take the time. Thanks for trusting me to come here.”

James reached out his arms and wanted a hug and to say thanks, but he knew they shouldn’t touch. Ms. Stafford turned, closed the door, and closed the blinds. She said, “If we’re going to talk with some privacy, Marcy will need to stay.”

James sighed a sigh of relief. Ms. Stafford said, “I heard that the Broadway show and dinner went well. Before you tell me of your concern; tell me a little about the weekend.”

‘I wondered if she realized I might have liked everything too much.’ She said, “So whatever it is wasn’t the weekend per se?”

It felt good in a way that she heard of my joy as Jamie and now would hear of my concern in how I go on as James. I said, “I would so much like to experience the real Mother’s Day as her daughter, but I plan to continue as James; and don’t want people to get the wrong idea. It’s just that my thought of being a 21st-century male has more breath to it than I first envisioned.”

Ms. Stafford asked, “Is it that you’d like to continue cross-dressing; or more than that?”

I was caught by surprise that she seemed to understand there was more. I said, “I’m not quite sure, but gender lines are more a blend of rainbow colors. And I like the feel of the feminine side as well.”

It was then that I spotted an engagement ring on a nice gold chain. I couldn’t help it but my mouth went to the obvious question. “Ms. Stafford, are you engaged?” Marcy and Ms. Stafford were both surprised by my observation and question.

Ms. Stafford had unbuttoned one button with the absence of the class, and her movement brought the ring and diamond to where they caught the light. While blushing she said, “Now I’m going to have to ask that our confidentiality goes two ways.”

Both Marcy and I needed to gaze at the ring for a good moment. Marcy knew she had a boyfriend and that his name was Scott. Ms. Stafford said, “His name is Mr. Petersen to you two and others.”

Marcy got a broad smile and said, “He introduced himself to me as Scott.”

Ms. Stafford said, “You were one of the people who came to mind when he told me about your encounter, but he wasn’t sure of your name, at least he wasn’t telling me. I’ll still ask that you call him Mr. Petersen.”

Ms. Stafford asked, “Let us get back to you and how you see yourself, James?”

“Well, I can’t honestly say I’m quite sure,” James said, “I don’t mean to avoid answering.”

“I think he’s telling the truth about that. He has changed his mind more times than I can count since Sunday.” Marcy said, “And he hasn’t worn anything feminine that one could see since Sunday. Except when he’s alone, I think.”

They both looked at me; hoping that I’d confess more. I said, “We came here because Marcy knows what I’m thinking about, and my mother suggested I do something Marcy would want in another week, being Jamie for her. You said I could talk to you openly. And I’m a nervous wreck.”

Ms. Stafford said she wouldn’t help in putting on my breast forms on Saturday as I wanted. “It would be improper, with my standing as a teacher, and not knowing your parents better. I’d suggest it not be a surprise to your parents and that your mother is the best one to help you; if she’s alright with it. I would suggest Marcy’s mother would be my best suggestion otherwise. She should do it on Saturday and you should be wearing a bulky top, until Sunday.”

We were about to leave when Ms. Stafford spoke up again, “Thank you for trusting me. I hope you aren’t too disappointed that I couldn’t help you more at this time. But you might tell your mother we did talk, and that I suggested that the three of us might talk privately sometime.”

Marcy said, “I think it was good that we went to Ms. Stafford. Especially as she saw it differently. I encourage you to do as she suggested and for you to talk to your mom. I think, my mother would be more likely to help if it is at your mother’s suggestion.”

It may be the best way to go, but I’m more than a little scared about approaching my mother. But it is still something I need to do. We went back to Marcy’s and I practiced what I might say in talking with my mother.

Wednesday night my Dad and my brother went shopping for some Mother’s Day gifts. I asked to stay home, I was hoping it would be a good time to talk with my mother.

Ten minutes after they left, my mother spoke to me, “Why don’t you sit down and tell me what you’re pacing about?”

I sat down across from her and said, “Mom, I enjoyed last weekend very much.”

She says, “I hear a ‘but’ coming.”

I said, “You’re correct, I said I would be stopping. But I want to be Jamie for Mother’s Day this Sunday.”

Mom looked like she was trying to be angry with me, but she could not hold back her smile. “I was kind of hoping you’d ask something like that. But you know we’re going to Philadelphia to see Aunt Beth, my mother, and your great Grandma and Great-Grandmother. Great-Grandmother suggested if Jamie came, that we should get a five-generation picture of the women in my family including you. There’s Aunt Beth, Monica, and her older sister Kari home from college. Uncle Bert’s wife Tonia and their daughters Kiley and Lori. Grandma White, and Great-grandma Elizabeth Turner.”

“From your asking, I gather you, have found it rough trying to go back to being James. The simple answer is that you can be Jamie for Mother’s Day. I would be honored and neither your father nor brother will be very surprised or upset about it.”

We were in my room as we were talking and my mom had been walking about as we talked. But it was a little into our visit before I realized my mom was picking out some clothes that I might change into.

Finally, I confessed to having talked to Ms. Stafford about helping me for the weekend. “Mom, I’m sorry to say she suggested that I talk to you about my plan to be Jamie and not to surprise you… She said she would be open to you, her, and me talking some, time, but that, that should be up to you.”

Mom kind of giggled, but not, and then she said, “Ms. Stafford gave you some good advice. Would you like for the three of us women to talk sometime?”

I didn’t realize how much time had passed, but we heard Dan as he reached the back door. He called out, “Mom, wherever you are stay there and let us know where you are. Dad and I need some time and space to bring in your gifts and get them secured out of your sight. I don’t know what you’ve been doing, but it won’t hold a candle to how we’re going to treat you on Mother’s Day. We have it all planned out.”

Mom let him know where we were, and she told me to be quiet about what we’d just talked about. “Let me explain some things to your father. He will be comfortable with what we do on Sunday.”

“If it would help you to relax and unwind, you can change into your Jamie clothes.” I took the clothes and stepped into my closet to change even though it wasn’t a large closet. I hadn’t taken much time to change. Mom was uncomfortable with the fact that I hadn’t needed more time or help with my hair and a little makeup.

When Mom and I appeared at the top of the stairs; Dad did not seem to be surprised, but the same couldn’t be said for my brother. He spouted off, “That’s not fair Jamie had her time. It is our turn to treat Mom special.”

I said, “I’m not taking away from what you’re doing. I’m happy for you as well as Mom.”

He said, “But you’re being her precious daughter, I can’t win against that.”

Mom spoke up, “Dan, I’m looking forward to the special things you and your father are planning for me! But we’re going up to Aunt Beth and Grandma White’s. And there’s going to be a five-generation picture of Moms and daughters. I hope you will be all right with that.”

He said, “And you’re going to allow Jamie to step in as one of the daughters,”

Dan commented. “He’s not a real daughter, that’s not fair.”

Mom said, “I’d be open to you dressing and acting as my daughter.”

Dan said, “I’m not going through all she does to be a daughter for the day, I’d rather you brought home a broasted chicken, with mashed potatoes, broccoli salad, and squash.” I am sure Dan asked for the squash knowing that I didn’t like it. But I ate some just to spite him and please Mom. Dan complained about Jamie being neater than James in eating.

There wasn’t much in dishes, utensils, and glasses, but I cleaned up all there was; since it was Dan’s turn to clean up after dinner he did not complain.

Mom spoke to me later saying, “Dan doesn’t look up to Jamie as he had his brother.” It wasn’t the first time Mom or I noticed the difference. I had always wanted an older sister.

With Mom’s blessing, I went to school Thursday and Friday as Jamie. Marcy and a fair number of other girls greeted me. A few of them were a little agitated, “You better not be stealing any of our boyfriends.”

Come Friday, the Mc Cafferty boy asked me out but did not stay around for my response as others came close to where we were.

Marcy gave me a ride home from school. She stopped next to the park and asked me a question. “Lee Mc Cafferty said he asked you out for a date, but that you didn’t answer him.”

I better informed her about what was said, and Lee’s quick departure. Marcy said, “Do you understand how embarrassing that would have been if you said ‘no’, with others present? She asked, “Are you willing to go out with him if my boyfriend and I would go along with you?”

Surprised, I said, “You don’t think I should go out with him?”

Marcy said, “Did I look like I was joking? I’m serious and I’m waiting for your answer.”

“I would have to ask my mother.”

“Your mother indicated it would possibly be all right if we went early to dinner and then to Bowcraft for some games. Since tomorrow’s Mother’s Day and you’re going to be busy. She wants you home early.”

To be continued…