Ms. Stafford greets me with a warm smile and a high-five as I enter school on the first day. She’s both my homeroom teacher and my English teacher. Mr. Panatela is my math teacher, but he didn’t recognize me as the student he knew. He had seen me at the end of the last school year, but between my honey-blonde hair and the comfort with which I was being myself, it was a great difference. I would have environmental studies as my science class this semester.

I was required to use the unisex restroom and locker area. Being different had become legally more difficult for me and the school. Funding for the school was being threatened. The school did take a stand that the LGBT Club would continue; and that we were to be ourselves.

Ms. Stafford encouraged me to take an independent study with her about women in literature. There were three formal complaints, but the study itself could only be construed as breaking the rules by the thoughts of those complaining and not by its coursework. The Principal and the school Superintendent did not see it as such.

With the understanding that I would be wearing a gaff; I was even allowed to take advanced swimming for my physical fitness credits.

Come to the end of the first week of school, my Father took me out to dinner. “Jamie, I am proud of you. The actions of some in society have changed my way of thinking.” He said, “One problem that I have, is I am not willing to spoil you with things to show my support. And I might be considered sexist; if having more rules because I feel protective of you being a girl.”

I said, “Dad, I hear it is quite normal for a girl to develop a strong attitude when we disagree. Don’t take it wrong: I do love and respect you but I’m just being me.”

He said, “Ultimately if you don’t change my mind and your Mother stands with me, we ultimately will have our way.” Dad and I had a stare-down until I couldn’t hold a serious face.

As James, I wasn’t heavy into football, but now as Jamie, I am more likely to go to football games for social reasons. I like being around other girls, it’s a time to go over the past week and check if there’s anything we want to do this weekend. More pointedly, who’s interested in whom.

I overheard a girl name Marilee talking about the new Honey-blonde at school. When I asked Marcy about Marilee, she said, “She’s a junior who’s one of the gossip queens at school. It means, you’ve been noticed and must be on some upper-class student’s radar. I suspect you’ll find out soon who it is?”

Marcy asked me, “Have you heard from Josh Hall? He’s the brother of Sue Hall and he’s been asking her to invite you to their house.”

I said, “I had a message from a Josh but I didn’t read it yet since I didn’t know who he is. I know who Sue is; I guess you can say we’re friends. We have several classes together, and she also plays tennis and more. Somehow, we’re doing the same independent study on women in literature. Ms. Stafford said it could make it more interesting.”

I checked my message from Josh and he said Sue had told him she had an independent study with me. He wrote, “I hope you can have a study session here sometime. I would like to talk to you about our dating, but we need to talk first.”

Sue Hall and I met with Ms. Stafford; Sue and I chose to read a book, Finding the Mother Tree, by Suzanne Simard. And I asked, “Sue do you know what Josh wants to say to me and, and if it is important?”

She slightly giggled not knowing he had messaged me, but she did say, “You should hear him out if you would date him.”

Ms. Stafford had copies of the first book, and we agreed to read it as well as study it. It was something unusual for a woman to be in forestry, and even more so to be recognized for her contributions. It wasn’t all popular or simply from her studies in a classroom.

Sue and I agreed to read a significant part today, tomorrow, and Sunday until we met at her house at three in the afternoon.

The book was quickly interesting, so I had no trouble reading it, though I am not a fast reader. I liked being out in the woods, but I hadn’t met many girls who did. I was like the opposite of Simard, I liked the outdoors, but I knew I only knew the stereotypes of being a girl before. Sue was both a good reader and liked being part of things.

Sunday was interesting, as I didn’t understand why a woman would have trouble finding acceptance in forestry work. Sue was quick to clue me in that it was not only in that profession. She asked me why I liked Ms. Stafford so much. She said, “Do you know some of the other teachers don’t like how outspoken she is, or her being a role model for boys?”

What Sue said was shocking to me. “Do you mean they think boys like me are under her spell? That she isn’t good for me?”

She said, “What I’m saying is, if she does something that a male teacher does; she’s considered a pushy woman, or the idea is discounted.”

I said, “That may have been true in the past, but no one really thinks that way anymore.”

I was ready to go home when Josh came into the room and asked if he might talk with me. We went to a room just off where we were, and Josh closed the door. He asked how my session with his sister went, but I knew he was just making small conversation.

“Josh, did you have something to say?” I asked. He half smiled, and I knew he was working up the courage to say what he wanted.

He said, “I would like to date you sometime, but I think you need to know…”

I joked, “I am both a girl and a boy. So are you going to warn me that you’re different?”

His eyes go wide in shock, “Did my sister tell you?”

“No,” I said, “just spit out what you were going to tell me.”

Josh gulped and then said, “You need to agree this is confidential and won’t tell anyone.”

Now I knew he was serious and I assured him. “Since you seem to be respectful of me, yes, I promise.”

He sat down and asked me to sit next to him. He said, “I like boys who are like girls. I don’t mind the guys wondering about us, but I’m not ready to say I’m gay.”

Now it was I who was shocked; Josh is a good-looking guy, even athletic. I saw no inkling that he was gay. I giggled to myself, I just fell into stereotype thinking. “I said, “Wow, I didn’t see that coming. But I guess without the clothes, makeup, and hair; I wouldn’t look like a girl.” I paused, “But you want to date me. I’d have to ask my parents, but I think it would be okay. I’m not looking for a boyfriend, and wouldn’t it kind of out you?”

Josh had a big smile, “Yes, but I won’t admit to it yet.” We talked about where we might date or be together. We talked about what we like and might do together. He didn’t talk long, I could tell he wanted to go back to his room and be his happy self.

Once I was home I called Marcy to hear how she was doing and to share about my day. I didn’t hear my mother knock on my door and come into my room. She listened a short time and then backed out. Marcy was happy that I had made a new friend in Sue and questioned about Josh seeing me as a possible boy-girlfriend.

After talking to Marcy, I called and spoke to Cousin Monica. She was quick to ask about my first days back to school. “Monica, I have something else though it is kind of related to school. It’s a guy named Josh who is asking me for a date. I told you about my independent study of women in literature. His sister, Sue Hall, and I are doing the study together. There’s a unique twist in that he told me he likes me as a boy being a girl. He’s cute, a good athlete and student, but my life already has enough twists.”

Monica said, “I hear a but, that you’re not wanting to say no, at least to one date?” The gist of our conversation is she cares and is supportive, however, I have to make my own decisions. Taking one day at a time and not rushing deeply into something would be good.

After supper, it was Mom who wanted to talk, so I rehashed the whole story. I never would have gone through the story so many times as James. Now, I was beginning to like sharing with family and friends the way I was doing as Jamie.

Mom said, “Your date will depend on when and where, and I suggest it be a double date. Right now, I want you to get back to getting ready for school tomorrow. Sometimes relaxing and watching a show with me would be nice.”

I took my baseball glove as we’d be playing softball to begin my time in physical education as a girl. It wasn’t as easy as I thought as the other girls were used to playing the game with each other. Nor did I do a good job in quickly showering and getting ready for my next class. I did see these opportunities as something I had missed before and enjoyed doing now.

Mr. Panatela was happy to get used to me being in his math classes again as I was good in math. He’d make our class act at times as though our computers were down and we had to do the math ourselves. It took more thinking, but most of us were used to him having done similar things in our prior math class with him.

Having Teresa and Molly and now Sue as close friends; school days were going faster. I was learning better and better at passing notes or whispering back and forth. Wednesday evening, I received a call from Josh and it was agreed I’d meet Sue at the football game and I’d be with Josh after the game. It was supposed to be with another couple but that was unknown for now.

Marcy and I shopped for fragrances on Thursday. Marcy reminds me, what I’m tired of hearing time and again, ‘a little goes a long way’. I have enough to learn, but I’m tired of different people repeating similar information like I became a girl yesterday.

Marcy drove me to the football game and shows me where she’’ be. Where I will be and where she’ll be is subject to changes. Fortunately, I’m more used to her voice and what she looks like than vice versa. Josh as a sophomore suits up, and rarely plays. It was the third quarter when Josh was sent in as a decoy receiver. He’s the one they pass to and he catches it and goes in for a touchdown. I’ll soon be with a football hero. I wonder if he’ll still want to be seen with me.

When the game is over and we did win. Sue waits with me to see if Josh wants me. She said, “Jamie you did yourself good as a girl cheering tonight. I enjoy being with you.” The feeling was mutual.

Josh finally comes out of the fieldhouse with several people harassing him for fun. It was a quarter ’til ten when he came out. We are to go to the school dance. I am overly happy he wants to be with me. Yes, we got a few looks, but it is hard for me to know what’s good or bad. My past dance lessons from Marcy and others, pay off.

I have my little guy hidden away; I can’t say the same for Josh. I’ve turned him on, but we are here for the dance and a little kissing and some petting, no more.

To be continued…