There has been some comments about that someone should write a story featuring vibrating bras. Well, here is a short, not very serious, one.
You might think that no boy would be interested in buying a vibrating bra for himself.
You’d be wrong.
I suffer from gynecomastia. I had big floppy things on my chest. You saw that thing on Ellen? It appeared that the vibrating bra thing were supposed to both make breast smaller and firmer. In comparison to what I had that would be a huge improvement.
Just for once the ad corresponded to reality. At least for me. My big floppy things grew smaller and firmer. Besides, I liked the feeling. Don’t tell anyone!
My best friend Ryan was fascinated by my new boobs. Not in THAT way perverts!
What fascinated him was that my breasts when stimulated by the vibrations started to oscillate audibly. Actually, they resonated VERY audibly. By changing posture I could change pitch and stop/start the sound. Quite a nice beat could be heard even in a large space like our assembly hall.
Both Ryan and I were budding musicians. Ryan was a competent drummer. The best in school so he was in the school orchestra. I was an extremely good flutist. Unfortunately only the third best in school so I wasn’t in the orchestra.
To make a long story short I found myself having my breasts thoroughly examined by our (male) music teacher. At the time we thought nothing about it. In hindsight …
Well, I finally made the school orchestra. I was a bit disappointed though. I mean, my breast clearly sounded off by being beaten so I really should have been in the percussion section with my best friend Ryan but our music teacher put me in the bras section.
Comments
Well...
The same bras section, the one between percussion and brass?
Well,
it's a fine line to walk
I nominate
that for the worst pun of 2022. I'm just worried that now Bru will try to top it.
I was trying…
…to think of a pun from the string section, but I knew that wood wind Bru up…
☠️
At least you weren't clamoring to string me up
;)
Thanks also
…for the reminder of one of THE classic singles of the 1960s by one of the most underrated bands of the era. Good Vibrations is a gorgeous three minute symphony, with its urgent cellos, its then unique use of the theremin and those ethereal harmonies. I saw them perform it onstage live as a schoolboy in 1968. Note perfect. I still love the Beach Boys.
☠️
A classic
It was the best of puns, it was worst of puns...
(with NO apologies to Mr Dickens)
I'll try to abstain
I wouldn't like to become an Addict, would I?
Very Punny
Good zinger, short and clever.
>>> Kay
I just couldn't resist
I'm afraid that stories like this, ending in a pun, places me in category far beneath contempt in many eyes.
Awww
A pun no less.
Quite probably
The worst pun I've ever heard. And I must say, I belong to a pun appreciation group on Facebook.
Lol!
Hugs!
Rosemary
What can I say?
I strive to excel.
Good Gawd that was Funny
What a terrible pun. Is there such a thing as a "good" pun? Bras section, indeed.
As the third best flautist you should have made the orchestra. Two flutes & a piccolo are pretty standard.
Janice
Could I make a "good" pun, i.e. a pun centered on word "good"?
Possibly. I'll let you live in suspense for the time being.
When it comes to school orchestras my ignorance is due to the fact that I have never even been close to one. Neither of the primary or secondary schools I went to had an orchestra. Besides, if anyone ever has had the idea of including me in an orchestra that can only have been in one of the direst nightmares induced by extremely high fever.
surely
'I'll let you live in suspense for the time being.' that should be 'live in suspenders'? i won't harp on about it but i'm sure it would encourage lingerie around the bras section.
Madeline Anafrid Bell
Good one ;)
'I'll let you live in suspense for the time being.' that should be 'live in suspenders'?
Was that a suspended sentence?
However, when it comes to music performance I have no reason to blow my own horn, as I've mentioned earlier.
Concerto for vibrating bra and orchestra
It must have been quite exciting to see the orchestra tune up.
Thanks for making me laugh out loud in the library, Bru.
- iolanthe
Now that you mention it
The choice of upper body clothing, apart from the bra, probably has to be finetuned.
Otherwise - stand tall and proud, shoulders back and breast forward.
In hindsight I misses something in this story
I should have added something about vi-bra-to.