I’ve read that friends are ten a penny and come and go, but the hate a good enemy provides can last a lifetime and keep you warmer than a good fire on cold winter nights.

That’s as may be for some, but it’s not my experience. I learnt young that there were two methods of dealing with hate, and a third came to me with maturity.

It’s not easy to really hurt an abuser. Method one requires a huge amount of self restraint, though absolutely no physical effort at all. All you have to do is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing. You simply avoid them where ever possible and where not you don’t react, not to the person involved, nor to any one else.

When asked about the situation by a third party you just shrug your shoulders and make sure they realise not so much that the issue is irrelevant to you, but that to you there is no issue. If confronted walk away when possible. If you can’t, just keep calmly saying, “I have nothing to say.” Say it as often as required till you can walk away, and keep your cool. Do not allow yourself to be seen to be irate. Look bored.

Why does this work? The psyche of humans can be strange, but stripping a complicated matter down to what matters, in essence they wish to be noticed, to be acknowledged. They would far rather be hated, sworn and spat at, face confrontation and even violence than be ignored. It’s the worst thing you can do to them, for it eats away at their concept of self, and better still it continues to do so, for ever.

Of course if you feel compelled to take method two, the iron bar from behind in the dark approach, there are rules to this strategy too. You have to make sure it is from behind, it is dark and your iron bar is adequately heavy. You must not be recognised by your target, nor indeed any one else.

Method two whilst satisfying tends only to be effective for a short period of time. People get over being assaulted because they can tell themself their unknown assailant was just some piece of scum who probably mugs several people a day for cash to provide a fix. That there are others who suffered too means they have a commonality with them and they are not alone. Deep down they know they were at least being taken notice of. They exist, if only to a junkie.

Given the short term effectiveness of method two, you must never acknowledge your deed nor tell anyone, and I mean anyone, for you now have to revert to method one. You ignore the whole matter with a complete indifference that must be completely convincing. Your response to conversation on the matter must be along the lines of, “It could have been anyone. Everyone knows he’s upset a lot of people over the years. You going to the dance on Saturday, Elsie?”

For really intractable cases you may feel that method three is the route to take and give me a call. The number is readily available, though I warn you the response time to go through all those remote relays which ensure privacy can be several hours. I’m not cheap, but results are guaranteed. Excuse me just a moment, the phone’s ringing.

“Good afternoon, Madam. Janice speaking. How can Nemesis help you?”