I spent a very uneasy night, although Mima appeared to have forgiven me, the adults were not so easy going. After putting her to bed, I tolerated some criticism but eventually went as well. Naturally, she was in my bed but fast asleep, so I was able to return her to her own.

I lay in bed reflecting upon the day, when the door opened and Stella, climbed into bed with me. “Moral support,” she said and cuddled into the side of me. I began to wonder if I needed a bigger bed–I suppose we could sleep like sardines, head to foot, except Simon’s feet–yewch, don’t even go there.

To her credit Stella said nothing, and she did nothing except cuddle into me. Why, I was never quite sure–was there something she wasn’t telling me? I felt the baby move in her tummy and chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” she asked sleepily.

“Pudding just kicked me.”

“Is that all, he kicks me all the time.”

“Well, you are sort of carrying him.”

“Yeah, wanna swap–I’ll shout at Mima and you can lug this monster and his trampoline about.”

“Trampoline?”

“Yeah, when they next do a scan I’m going to ask them to look for one.”

“How do you know it’s not a girl?”

“I’d like one more than a boy, though Daddy would love a boy.”

“He won’t have to look after it, will he?”

“No, I was going to speak to you about that…”

“About what?”

“Buy the time Pud is born, you’ll be an old hand at babycare, so would you–I mean, um…”

“Would I help you? Of course I will.”

“No, would you look after it while I go back to work?”

“What?” I was aghast.

“You’re so much more into the domestic stuff than I am.”

“Only because I couldn’t afford a maid.”

“I just thought, if you keep Jemima…you know, another one wouldn’t be so much extra, would it?”

“Have you any idea how much work is involved in caring for a neo-natal?”

“No,” I felt her blush.

“Nor me–but I’ll bet it’s enormous.”

“You don’t either, Catherine Watts–you should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Hush, you’ll wake the Kraken.”

“Sorry,” she hissed.

“Why should I be ashamed of myself?”

“I just had this vision of you as a teenager reading Brides and baby care manuals.”

“I did, but it doesn’t mean I know anything, does it.”

“Mima is still alive.”

“Only because Tom came home at the critical moment.”

“It’s still two weeks longer than I’d have managed.”

“You’re a nurse, didn’t you do any paediatrics?”

“Certainly not, I can’t cope with sick adults, so what chance sick babies?”

“Yet you think I should be able to?”

“Well they can’t be all that different to dormice.”

“Stella, I can’t believe you just said that.”

“Said what?”

“Babies are like dormice.”

“Aren’t they, I mean you are a biologist, so should know about the birds and bees.”

“Can I tell them that when they attempt to repossess Mima?”

“Repossess? They haven’t ever had her before have they?”

“How do I know? Given how her so called mother, dumped her on me, I have no idea. If it wasn’t for Dr Rose, I reckon they’d have gone to court already.”

“Oh yeah, Daddy said something about a judicial review.”

“About what?”

“Mima. Apparently one of his barrister friends seems to think because you were asked to take her in a private arrangement, the council can go play with themselves.”

“Yeah, but as child minders have to be registered, I can’t see that happening soon.”

“Yeah, but they are being paid, you aren’t, although he suggests you should be entitled to child benefit allowance.”

“I’d happily forgo that if they left me alone in peace.”

“Why should you, it’s a help for the expense of raising a kid.”

“I have a feeling it’s all going to end in tears, and I wonder if I should give in now to avoid causing Mima extra stress. Besides, I’m not quite as good a mother as I thought I was. In fact, I’m pretty useless.”

“No you’re not. Toddlers are provocative and you are inexperienced. It takes practice. Why don’t you get some books on it?”

“When am I supposed to read them?”

“She’s asleep now.”

“Stella, I am knackered. As soon as I so much as pick up a paper or book, she becomes like Argus.”

“What? I thought that was a shop owned by Great Universal.”

“That’s Argos, you nit wit; Argus was some sort of mega night watchman who never slept and had ten thousand eyes.”

“Cor, I’ll bet he got through crates of mascara.”

“You idiot, ooh, Pudding had me again.”

“Seriously, if Daddy gets and wins the judicial review, will you look after Pudding, too?”

“Let’s see what and if it happens, it might come with conditions.”

“Next question, what would you like for your birthday?”

“My birthday, shit, when is it?”

“Exactly a year after you were born, obviously in this case it will be the anniversary of…”

“No you twit, what day is it?”

“Tuesday, it’s next Wednesday.”

“Oh hell, I shall be twenty four.”

“It’s quite painless, I’m two years older than that–actually, not quite two years, and as for the pain, it doesn’t hurt, except everything is getting ready to sag or become grey, or lined.”

“I think that may be an exaggeration, “ I yawned, “Pudding, go to bloody sleep and stop kicking me.”

“He knows when he’s not wanted,” she said and turned her back to me. I did finally sleep, becoming slightly aware that Jemima got into bed with me, but I drifted back off.