Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 499.

Printer-friendly version

Wuthering Dormice (aka Bike) 499.
by Angharad

dormouse1.jpg

The drive to Portsmouth from Southampton can be a real pain, especially when the traffic is heavy. The traffic was heavy and then some stupid bugger went and drove his sports car under a container lorry. They closed the motorway and we had to crawl along the ordinary roads, the same as everyone else.

It took nearly two hours to get to the university, thankfully Mima had nodded off, although she was so desperate for a wee when she woke up, she had to do it in the car park and wipe herself on a tissue. I grabbed her and dashed down to the labs.

“We wondered where you were? I called the vet, he’s taken one of the casualties for a PM.”

“How many have we lost?” I asked praying that my little favourite wasn’t amongst them.

“Four, so far.”

“That’s a third of our breeding stock,” I handed Mima to Stella and went into the dormouse room. “They should be hibernating now, except possibly Spike, who prefers to stuff all year round.”

“She’s okay at the moment. The others were hibernating.”

“So why are they dead? When did you notice them?”

“This morning, they seemed to be stirring, which is unusual.”

“Yes, it is, they should be zonked for three or four more months yet, so what woke them?”

“I don’t know, the tanks are all at the usual setting, no warning lights or anything.”

“Is all this still computer controlled?” I asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“Do me a printout of the settings for the last week.”

“Erm, we’ve never done that before.”

“You mean you don’t know how?”

“Er, no we don’t.”

“Find someone who can, email it through to me tonight.”

“I can’t authorise that, Cathy.”

“Get Tom to do it, surely there’s someone in IT who can do it?”

“At this time of night?”

“Yes, if it kills Spike, heads will roll if I have to bring in my own bloody axe.”

“I hope you’re not threatening me.”

“Get me a carry cage, I’m taking Spike home with me.”

“I’m not your servant, Cathy, you know where they’re kept.” So saying he walked away from me. I was speechless with temper and about as close to hitting someone as I’d been for a very long time.

I got the carry cage, one with a nest box; took a box of food and nuts, shoved Spike in the cage and holding Mima’s hand walked up to Tom’s office. Neal was already in there, complaining about me.

I waited until he’d finished. “Tom, the computer system running the cage control needs checking–now, or you won’t have any dormice left tomorrow.”

“Where will we find someone to sort that at this time?”

“Surely the people who designed it for us.”

“They won’t come out tonight,” he shrugged.

“Get me the number, I’ll have them out to night or destroy their company by supper time.”

“Hey, young lady, I’m not sure I like all this aggression, save it for the court tomorrow.”

Pippa handed me the number. I dialled ignoring Tom’s comment. Amazingly someone picked up the other end. “Sorry there’s no one here tonight.”

“Too bad, give me your managing directors home number, I want to tell him personally why we’re cancelling our contract and why he will be mentioned by name when the university seeks compensation. Dormice are beyond value, but if we set a nominal value of ten thousand pounds per animal, you already owe us forty grand, and there are a dozen more, plus babies. I hope your insurance is paid up because we’re gonna sue your arse off.”

The second call was to the MD, who agreed to send someone that evening. Tom agreed to wait for them. Neal had completely lost my trust, when I came back, I’d make life so difficult, he’d leave. I couldn’t believe they all stood around like idiots instead of doing something while my babies were dying.

I went home with Stella, Mima and Spike and promised to make Tom a cold supper. It was such a fraught evening, only Mima and Spike wanted to eat, oh and Kiki. Then Spike discovered Mima and went into shock–presumably, remembering the banshee from before. This time, Mima was relatively quiet and gentle as she fed Spike an almond.

I knocked together a salad with tuna and jacket potatoes, saving some for Tom. Then Stella took Mima up to bed and read to her. While she was up there, I left her a note and shot off back to the lab, with Tom’s supper. I needed to know what was killing my dormice.

Two hours later, we had our answer. One of the thermostats had gone funny and it controlled the temperature for those cages, the ones in which the animals had died. It had warmed them up, then rapidly chilled them again, twice over a period of forty eight hours. They probably died from exposure. The other cages were okay, so as there were no occupants in the defunct ones, they could wait for repair, however, the engineer left us with a means to print out each day what was happening in every cage. Hopefully, we could pre-empt a repeat of the tragedy.

When we got home, I was still fuming about Neal. If he’d done his job properly it wouldn’t have happened. When I raised this with Tom, he asked me to sit down. “Normally, I’d agree with you, and so would Neal, he’s one of the best as you damn well know.”

“Not any more he isn’t.”

“Will ye just shut yer trap for a wee minute. The poor man’s mother is dying with breast cancer, he’s had lots of time off and is fair worried sick aboot her. You didn’ae know all this because ye’ve been off yersel.”

“Oh, I didn’t know, I’m sorry, but he’s still killed four of my dormice.”

“No he hasn’ae, the stupid machine killed them. I’ll check it myself in the morn.”

“I thought you were coming to court with us?”

“Och, so I am. Of course I’ll be there, what time?”

“Eleven.”

“Where?”

“The judges chambers at Portsmouth Crown Court.”

“I’ll be there, Cathy, I’m sure Simon will be, too.”

“He said he’d try to be there.”

“Of course he’ll be there, it’s important to him, too.”

“Yeah, course it is. Just think if we lose this, social services will pounce like a hyena and whip her away in an instant. Those bitches have been looking to take me down a peg, because they think I cheated. They think I tried to pull rank.”

“I know, love,” he hugged me, burping as he did–“My, but that was a splendid salad, except you know whit cucumber does tae me, fair murders me.”

I kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for always being there. His response was immediate, he kissed me back and hugged me. “Tonight, my darling girl, you showed your mettle. I wasn’t impressed to begin, I thought you were being aggressive and abrasive. Instead you calmly demanded action which may have saved the other dormice. You had an inkling about what happened, didn’t you?”

“Sort of, I’ve seen similar happen in the wild, caused by the dormice being uncovered in their nests, they warmed up and didn’t quite get active, then it suddenly went cold and they all died. They use up so much fat reserves coming up to waking temperature that they can’t cope. Something similar happens in bat colonies and the numbers are usually greater. Back in Sussex, when I was there, some kids disturbed a lesser horseshoe colony, they all died–the bats, not the kids, unfortunately.”

“You’d better go and see to your baby, hadn’t you.”

“We gave her some nuts earlier, she’ll be alright.”

“I meant, Jemima.”

“Oh, her, yeah, I suppose I had, hadn’t I?” I pecked him on the cheek again and wished him goodnight. He muttered something which sounded like, ‘bloody cucumber’.

Mima was fast asleep, so was Stella and they were both in my bed. I undressed quickly and joined them, tomorrow was going to be a long, long day.

05Dolce_Red_l_0.jpg

up
205 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

Cathy is too stressed

If she blows up in court, good bye Mima.

Caregivers...

Puddintane's picture

...are *always* stressed. It's in the job description.

-

Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

OK, I Was Wrong

Too bad about the dormice. but at least Cathy knew what to do. Wonder what happens in court for her?
May Your Light Forever Shine

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Xmas Prezzies

Nope, not going to do it!

I'm not going to anticipate the plot, or how episode 500 is going to play out, nor the fact that, as someone else has already pointed out days ago, that it, the court hearing and Christmas all seem to converge at once.

Still, a quincentennial! Now, what would be an appropriate present?...

But wait..

I'd think Chapter 504 would be more important a milestone, as it's forty-two dozen.

Not forgetting 568...

millilitres (metric) in a pint (imperial) :)


As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Glad to See That You're Letting Cathy Grow Up

As Tom said, "you calmly demanded action". Much better than some of the previous self destructive craziness. Looking forward to pt 500.

But we must remember Ang is in Great Britain ...

where they use the Metric system, so 500 is only half of a standard measure ...

the kilochapter.

Hum, can they rapidly warm and chill the social services idiots?

If the lab tech and Cathy are both making mistakes because of stress, why not a period of compassionate leave or at least reduced work hours? I wonder, will Cathy's lawyers prove Mima ending up in her hands was not a *trick* to circumvent the process that Social Services seems to claim.

Better yet they can not only prove Cathy is on the up and up but have proof the person or persons behind the hard line Social Services is taking is a rabid anti gay/lesbian/TG person, like one of the nutters in the church Cathy's parents used to attend?

As Burl Ives once sang,

Have a holly jolly Christmas …

John in excessively Christmas-y Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Only lately...

Puddintane's picture

They used dozens for ages longer than the metric system has been around, and Imperial units are still in common use by most people. There are still miles on road signs, and British automobiles have MPH indicators on the instrument panel. People still describe their weight in stone plus the odd pounds, and life is still more complicated then the "scientific measurement" enthusiasts imagined. The old measurements have the *huge* advantage of being easy to manipulate in one's head, making them very useful in daily life.

Let's see, two dozen apples make three pies, so how many apples do I need for one pie?

The ancient Babylonians were mathematicians of some note, but didn't have electronic calculators, so cleverly used a duodecimal system (base 12) so they could do moderately complex sums in their heads.

Personally, when I see dozens, I go all tingly...

Cheers,

Puddin'

-

Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

answer to apple question

the answer is 8 apples for 1 pie

:))

Samantha

John what is a kilochapter??

yes im british and dont know what that means, kilo to me means kilo=1000 so to me it would be half a kilo chapter

or i could be totally thick/dense lol

You are closer than you think ...

Kilo + gram = kilogram or one-thousand grams.

Kilo + meter = kilometer or one-thousand meters.

Kilo + chapter = kilochapter or one-thousnd chapters.

Easy.

John in Wauwatosa

P.S, Ang, take a good streach, lay on a good supply of food stuffs including lots of cat treats. Get writing, you are just shy of halfway done.

P.P.S. How many apples in a pi? 3.14, duh!

John in Wauwatosa

>> Easy...

Puddintane's picture

The point is not that it's simple to write, but that it's simple to work with.

Ten has two useful factors, "2" and "5."

"Fifths" of distilled spirits are pretty much the only reason one would have to divide anything into fifths in daily life. Mind you, the US military is housed in a Pentagon, but few would have need to chop it up.

Five is so mysterious to our brains that it's commonly seen as "spiritual," so the magical star has five points, where the "ordinary" star has six or (when radiants are shown) four.

The Babylonian system, base 12, Has "2," "3," "4," and "6" as useful and extremely easy divisions. It makes manipulating angles trivial as well, since we retain the Babylonian assumptions for measuring circles, which is why there are twelve Zodiacal signs, not ten, why a "Speed Square" measures both right angles and 45 degree angles to boot, and why traffic signs are triangular, square, octagonal, or circles.

Cheers,

Puddin'

-

Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

Pentagrams & hexagrams

Angharad's picture

Some of the magic with the 5 pointed star is the 5 elements it represents and also the 5 points of man. The hexagram, or six pointed star is also used in some magical rituals - both are used in The Lesser Banishing.

Five is also a hand or foot full, as well as the number of personality types in the old physiognomies.

7 also becomes a magical number because of the seven planets of the ancients, amongst other things.

Numbers are wonderful things, pity I'm so useless at them. I seem slightly better with words - except in the eyes of one or two (bugger, back to numbers again.)

Angharad

Angharad

While metric is here to stay

Angharad's picture

the British govt recently stated that it was legal to continue using Imperial measures. As usual a nice fudge masquerading as compromise. Maybe we should have asked for it in feet and ounces?

Angharad

Angharad

Five Hectochapters

...which is my response to your hectoring on the subject.

*giggle*

If you want to go all metric, you need to remember that it was meant to be convenient, so that there are prefixes for 10's and 100's, too. You shouldn't, as a matter of form, shift into a fractional description of a larger unit.

As for England, they also have measures like Stones and Imperial Pints (about 18 - 19 U.S. ounces, 20 of their own), and although they gave us the US standard of liquid measure, more or less, they now retain that only for measuring wine, it being cleverly renamed "the wine gallon". (For what it's worth, the standards are: The U.S. Gallon (a.k.a. the Winchester Gallon, the Wine Gallon) is 231 cubic inches, and is divided into 128 ounces. Fractional measures include a cup of 8 ounces, the pint of 16 ounces and the quart of 32 ounces. The Imperial Gallon is the volume occupied by 10 pounds of water at 4 degrees Fahrenheit and consists of 160 ounces. Fractional measures include a gill of 5 ounces, pints of 20 ounces, and quarts of 40 ounces.)

Oh, yes... Stones (14 pounds, and used for measuring bodyweight.) Seven stone is your standard "98-pound weakling". Twenty stone is potential NFL material. Or, an obese slob, depending on physical condition and age. (Note the standard usage here of "stone" as a sort of aggregate adjective. They don't seem to say "stones" when describing someone's weight.) I could stand to lose a stone or so myself... Too bad New Years Resolutions never quite work out. Maybe I should resolve to GAIN a stone, as some form of reverse psychology?

Stone

Wendy Jean's picture

You have Americans on board with most of that, except with Stone. Never understood the measurement. I do know that a gallon of water is approximately 14 pounds. I wonder if that is an coincidence?

Of course, to me 1K = 1024.

A gallon of water

Angharad's picture

a proper gallon that is, (imperial gallon) weighs exactly 10lbs at room temp and at sea level.

Angharad

Imperial v American units

Rhona McCloud's picture

And an American gallon of water weighs 8lb.

Rhona McCloud

There's the take charge, Come

There's the take charge, Come up with the correct answer Cathy of old. Neal, stick it, you're not the first person to have a mother gravely ill, pass the authority on to some one who will do it !
So, maybe she won't fire him, but she'll never trust him again.

Cefin