by Angharad
“I can’t believe you did that.”
“Did what?” asked Stella.
“Acted like a lunatic in front of the woman.”
“She asked for it, asking if you’d ever seen a dormouse. How did she think you were going to draw one, if you’d never seen one? Silly cow.”
“I suppose she was doing what she thought was her job.”
“What pissing off the customers?”
“See, you are vulgar,” I said with a degree of disdain.
“Wot me luv, nah, I’s perfick, I is.”
“The next thing you’ll be telling me is that you can fart louder than I can.”
“Oh no I won’t. Ask Simon about that.”
“About farting competitions.”
“About what?” I was disgusted but fascinated.
“They had them in the dorms in school, especially after they’d had beans on the menu. Didn’t you do such things?”
“No, I did not,” I said this as indignantly as I could manage, “Did you?”
“Course not I was a girl, wasn’t I?”
“Meaning?”
“Girls don’t do such things, do they?”
“Your point being?”
“Hey don’t get ratty with me, missy.”
“Why not? Why should you suggest that I did boy things but you didn’t?”
“Because I’m a gi…oops! I’m sorry, Cathy, I didn’t mean it, I really didn’t.” It was too late, I felt a trickle down my face. I could cope with tormenting from students, even from strange religious bigots, but not from Stella. She was inside my defences and…
I sobbed for a few minutes. These days, my tear ducts were in danger of wearing out, they got so much use. “I am sorry, Sis, I didn’t mean it, I really wouldn’t have said anything like that if I’d thought about it.”
“I’m sorry but that is no consolation. You tell me you see me as your sister, then you remind me that I’m not.”
“You are my sister, you are a woman and I forgot. It was insensitive of me and I apologise unreservedly. How can I make things better?”
“You can’t Stella, you can’t undo or unsay what you said.”
“I didn’t mean it though, you have to believe me. I wouldn’t hurt you for the world.”
“I do believe you, but it still hurt, or am I not allowed to say that? You hurt me.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Now she was crying too. This was all going horribly wrong.
“I want to go home, is that all right?” I asked Stella.
“Of course…I am sorry,” she sniffed.
I drove home in silence. Stella did try to make conversation but I was too involved in my own thoughts. I was still smarting from the insult I’d received. How could she? I was angry and I was hurt. Stella of all people, how could she?
We arrived at Tom’s and I helped her in with her bag. I still hadn’t said anything for nearly half an hour. There was nothing I wanted to say, I felt so betrayed.
Tom came in a little later, I was in the kitchen getting the dinner ready and Stella was in the dining room, feeling very awkward. We still hadn’t spoken since.
Tom somehow spotted Stella, I suppose, I didn’t see it so I’m not sure. I was busy and she was a big girl now–unlike me, apparently–so she could make her own introduction. I heard them talking, but ignored it and finished the potatoes.
“Catherine, can you come here please?” I heard Tom call. I wanted to ignore it, I knew it was trouble, no one ever called me Catherine unless I was in hot water. I hesitated, Daddy was going to be cross with me. I didn’t want it to happen, but it was going to anyway.
“Catherine, please come here, now, please.” I walked slowly towards the dining room and my fate. I could feel tears running down my face before I got there, didn’t like Daddy to be cross with me, he used to beat me when he was cross. He’d pull off his belt and…
“Please don’t beat me, Daddy,” I cried as I ran into the dining room, and I threw myself on the floor in front of him, “Please don’t hurt me.”
“Cathy, what are you on about? Who’s going to beat you?” I heard Tom’s voice say.
“Daddy beats me when he’s cross.”
“How old are you, Catherine?”
“I’m nearly six,” I said feeling proud but also scared.
“Okay, Catherine, tell me why I should be cross with you?”
“ ‘Cos, I called Stella names.”
“I see, did you apologise?”
“No, Daddy.”
“Are you going to?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Go on then.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Tell her not me.”
“Yes, Daddy. I’m sorry, Stella, I was a bad girl.”
“That’s okay, Catherine, I was naughty too. I accept your apology.”
“Thank you, Stella, I’ll be good in future.”
“Okay, I’ll try to be good, too.”
“Right, you two girls give each other a hug and a kiss.” Tom instructed us, so we did.
“Now, Catherine,” he continued, “I want you to close your eyes.”
“You’re not going to beat me, Daddy?”
“No I promise I won’t hurt you. I just want you to close your eyes and tell me how old you are again.”
“I’m nearly six, Daddy.”
“Okay, now I want you to tell me how it feels to be twelve.”
I felt myself floating upwards. “It feels strange, my tummy hurts, like I’m having my period.”
“Okay, you’re doing fine, now you’re eighteen, how does that feel?”
I felt myself growing taller. “Gosh, Daddy, I’m in university and there are so many nice looking boys here–wow, this is going to be fun.”
“Okay, Catherine, now I’d like you to come back to the present, you’re here with me and Stella in our house. I want to remember all you told me about growing up, but I also want you to come back to your normal self. When I count to five, you’ll do this, do you understand?”
“Yes, Daddy, I understand.”
“Okay, I’m going to count, one, two, three, four, five. Come back now.” I felt his hand on my arm, which was good because I opened my eyes and nearly fell over.
“Bloody hell, what happened?”
“For some reason, you regressed to age six.”
“You’re joking.”
“He’s not, Cathy, you really did.”
“Geez, really?”
They both nodded.
“How the hell did that happen?”
“I’m not sure, kiddo, but I think we need to make some notes and have a chat with Dr Thomas.” Tom sounded a bit concerned.
“Yeah, okay.”
“Oh, and Cathy, about this afters.”
“What about it?”
“I was wrong, you were a girl, I just met her.”
Comments
WOW!
Now that was very different and showed another side to our girl. The child she always seen herself as when young. It also showed Stella that she had always been a girl inside. A very interesting and cerebral chapter.
Well done, Ang.
Gabi
Gabi.
Interesting
I wonder if and how many are going to grouse at the impromptu change in behaviour of Cathy, it was quite strange. It makes me wonder if you, Angharad, are writing these -and more in the future maybe- sudden and rather irrational changes by ways of extra entertainment for yourself or just as an extra. Maybe it is as an overture to some sort of medical mayhem for Cathy's future, I sure hope not.
But it was entertaining, only now it will need some additional explaining. No one regresses so spontaneously in such a short order. It worries me. I hope for good things only. Yes, and I'll try to be prepared for the worst. * I hate that. *
Jo-Anne
Catherine Girl
This chapter is the wildest yet. My guess is that Cathy needed this after all of the bull she's been through.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Hmmm
Begs to question though. How many of us were that obviously, stereotypically transsexual at age 6 ? Not all of us were like that. I never considered myself growing up as having a gender, per se, though I understood how I was suppose to behave in my birth gender.
I was not really a girly girl type that kids would beat on for being fem. In a lot ways I was a typical boy. So did I make a mistake being post-op ? Am I less TS than my boy crazy, knew from age 2 sisters that they were girls ?
I do not believe I am alone though. It took a lot longer for me to finally do the surgical switch and I have no real regrets other then how it has affected my birth family.
I have to laugh though since as all of us know, to function in society, we have to pass with regard to our appearance, body movement, social functioning, and my hobby horse, voice. But, my sister transwomen, how many of you can pass while under HYPNOSIS ?
Kim
Ummm.. What happened?
Cathy's biological dad would NEVER have called her Catherine. How did she have a "female" 6 year old experience (like that) to regress to... (I could use some of that regression - in controlled circumstances... It might let me recover some of my missing years.)
Cathy's reaction to Stella's slip was not surprising. She tends to over react to accidents. Sadly, we have to expect even our dearest friends/relations to make mistakes once in a while. That Stella realized her mistake so quickly was good.
Glad they're talking about Dr. Thomas.
Thanks,
Annette
Great chapter
With all that Cathy has been through, she had to snap sometime. This was another thought provoking chapter Ang.
Hugs
Sue
Cathy
Cathy has not been seeing her shrink lately. She is still the same vulnerable person that tried to take her own life at one point. Stella really used to be the stronger of the two till she met her private hell, but Cathy has also gone through the same courses.
Here they go again, Cathy is super sensitive to Stella
Tom is in the wrong business if he can hypnotize someone with a word. Unless he had put her deep under in the past, and set a trigger word.
A little surreal chapter.
Cefin