“So what happened next?”

“According to Tom and Stella, I told them I was six years old and my father beat me.”

“Your father did show violence towards you, didn’t he?”

“Yes,” I stared at the floor rather than at Dr Thomas.

“So what happened at six years of age, that would draw you back there?”

“I don’t know, nothing as far as I remember.”

“When did the incident with the doll happen?”

“I think I was younger than six, I can’t remember exactly. Maybe I was in school.”

“You used to dress up in girls’ clothes in nursery?”

“I did at any opportunity.”

“What did you call yourself?”

“Catherine, I think. The name seems to have been with me as long as I can remember.”

“Who else knew this?”

“Anyone could, I made no secret of it.”

“So would your father have beaten you for wearing a dress?”

“He might have done, but I have no recollection of it, so it can’t have been that traumatic,” I said feeling relieved.

“On the contrary, it may have been so traumatic, you’ve either expunged it from your memory or hidden it so deep, you no longer have access to it.”

“Why would he have called me, Catherine?”

“I don’t know, possibly to deter you from using the name again. He might have said something like, ’I’m going to beat you Catherine, every time I hear you call yourself by that silly name.’ Or words to that effect…. Catherine?”

“Please don’t let Daddy hurt me, Mummy,” I whimpered.

“All right, Catherine, I won’t; nobody will hurt you, do you understand?”

“Yes, Mummy.”

“You’re a big and clever girl, can you tell Mummy how old you are?”

“I’m six, Mummy.”

“You are a clever girl. Now tell me, has Daddy hurt you before?”

“Yes,” I sobbed, “he beats me with his belt.”

“Oh you poor dear, why does he do that?”

“He calls me a sissy, but I’m not, I’m a good girl.”

“I know you are, Catherine. You’re a big and brave girl. Now I want you to close your eyes, you are perfectly safe. Just close your eyes, now I want you to look in a mirror and see yourself, can you do that?”

“Yes, Mummy.”

“Good girl, now I want you to see your reflection grow up and become the beautiful woman it is now. Can you see it?”

“It’s turning into a boy–oh, no it’s not, it’s a beautiful lady.”

“That’s you, Catherine, as a grown up, at age twenty three. Can you see her clearly?”

“Yes, she’s nice.”

“She’s a very caring and beautiful lady, just like you only bigger.” At this I giggled.

“She is also very strong and brave. She is going to look after you, are you happy with that?”

“Oh yes, Mummy, she looks very brave and strong.”

“Now will you trust me, Catherine?”

“Of course I will, Mummy.”

“Okay, thank you, you’re a good girl. Now, I want you to step into the mirror.”

“I can’t, silly Mummy, it’s a mirror.”

“Oh, yes I am a silly Mummy, I forgot to tell you it’s a magic mirror and you can step into it. So you step into it and I want you to hug and kiss, big Catherine.” Dr Thomas paused for a few moments, “Is she hugging you?”

“Yes, Mummy, she is very pretty.”

“So are you sweetums, now, this is the magical bit–I want you to hug big Catherine and feel her arms holding you and protecting you, can you feel them?”

“Yes, Mummy, she is so big and strong.”

“Now, I want you to feel yourself becoming absorbed into her, it won’t hurt and she’ll be able to protect you for always. Can you do that, for me?”

“I’ll try, Mummy.”

“You are a good girl. Now when big Catherine has absorbed you into her body, I’d like her to step out of the mirror and tell me that she has.”

“I’m here, Mummy.”

“Good girl, Catherine. Now I want you to sit in the chair and close your eyes, and go to sleep. While you sleep, the angels are scattering a magical dust upon you, so you won’t remember any of this trauma again, unless Dr Thomas or a suitably qualified therapist requires you to. Little Catherine is now part of your past, she is protected by you and doesn’t ever need to feel threatened again. You are as big and strong as your Daddy, so he can’t hurt you because you won’t let him. I want you now to let the angel dust take away the memories of all this trauma and for you to wake feeling happy and contented, without any ill effects from your recent experiences. When I count to three, you will remember you are Cathy Watts, biologist and teacher, who is engaged to Simon. One, come back to real time; two, come back to now into this room; three, be aware of who you really are and awake feeling refreshed and happy. How do you feel?”

I yawned and blinked at Dr Thomas, “Thank you, I’m fine. I know I came here with a problem but it seems to have disappeared.”

“It was a little one, but she’s gone somewhere safe now.”

“She?”

“My little joke.”

“Oh, okay. Goodness, is that the time, I must go and make some dinner for Stella and Tom. Maybe you could come around for a meal one evening?”

“I can’t, Cathy, in order for me to help you most, I have to retain my professional boundaries, which means I have to stay aloof from my clients.”

“Yes, I can see that. How can I thank you, you’re always saving my life?”

“I think that’s a slight exaggeration.”

“You know what I mean, can I send you a bottle of wine?”

“I think that would be most acceptable.”

We shook hands and I left, I called into the local wine-shop on the way home and arranged for a mixed case of wine to be sent to my favourite shrink.

Stella was sitting reading when I got home. “How’d it go?”

“Yeah, fine, why?”

“I just wondered.”

“Apparently she suspects my father beat me when I was six years old for wearing a dress and playing with dolls.”

“Wow, so you remembered it?”

“Not really, but she did some of her usual sorcery and I feel great now.”

“Oh good, I have some other good news for you.”

“What’s that, you’re cooking dinner?”

“I said good news, not miracles.”

“Okay, “ I chuckled, “So what’s the good news?”

“Jemima’s mother called to say she’s out of the coma and breathing by herself. She’s still in intensive care, but it’s looking more hopeful.”

“That is good news.”

“So after dinner, you’d better start making that dormouse for her.”

“Oh bugger, I’d forgotten about that…”