I was very surprised when I got a call from Philip. He invited me to be his date for the premiere of his sister’s new action movie. I had not expected him to invite me, his old high school girlfriend. Admittedly that was only a couple of year ago but I had dumped him with some very harsh words. Not that he wasn’t a macho jerk fixated on martial arts but, anyway, there was no need for me to be THAT cruel to him. Actually he was a rather pathetic figure always in the shadow of his older, gorgeous and popular sister Anne. Well, Anne really enjoyed putting him down. Partly from guilt but mostly because I’d never been to a big Hollywood premiere I accepted.

I was surprised once again when he picked me up from the hotel (which he paid for). He was actually nice and attentive. At the mingling before the film he did his best to introduce me to the attending celebrities. Well, since he was only the big star’s brother he was not that successful, but he tried. When seated he started whispering to me. Apparently he was about to burst with the BIG SECRET and he had to tell somebody and he trusted me despite everything. Apparently the film we were going to see wasn’t at all what had been the original script, the only thing left was the jungle setting. He swore it was all true. He’d been there himself as an assistant to his sister. To start with Anne had sipped some untreated water the first day and been out of action after that. The film team had found a stand-in for distance shots and had just started filming when the local, supposedly quashed, guerilla had attacked the camp from the river and kidnapped the male lead. They had planned to kidnap Anne but she had staggered away behind some brush for another bout of her personal little hell and was not found. Anyway, the cameramen had managed to keep filming during the attack and after, so everything in the film had actually happened. Not that this was made public. This was just another of her action films. Anne had insisted and her lawyers are good, very good.

Anyway, Philip told me, whispering very silently, that everything was unscripted actual events. The only acting involved was some scenes with dialogue featuring Anne (added when she eventually got better). The rule of thumb was Face=acting, if not = actual events and no acting. Philip swore that it was true.

If I hadn’t known Philip so well I’d have pegged him as a liar after the first five minutes from the attack (the scenes before that were eminently forgettable). The bikini-clad stand-in somehow had got hold of a functioning gun and started shooting at the guerillas escaping in a boat. Quite good shooting too. She hit two of them despite the distance. When the magazine was empty she jumped into a canoe and started pursuing them. Right, I’m not a lesbian but her pert small breast bumped rather alluringly in that tiny bikini top. Though the breast were a bit smaller than Anne’s they had found a good stand-in. Oh, I forgot, apart from the bikini she also wore a knife belt. As the boats disappeared some astute cameraman had got it all on telephoto. Including how she caught up with them and the fight that ensued which ended with her being pushed off the boat but taking one of them with her. The next shot was from a helicopter.

Philip told me that their regular supply helicopter had arrived soon after the attack and the director had commandeered it for the camera crew. You could see how the guerillas steered their boat toward the shore, still shooting at the stand-in in the water. You also saw how she was swept towards and over the edge of a high waterfall.

I looked at Philip and asked.

- Really?
- Really. No acting
- How did she survive that
- Sheer luck I suppose.

This was followed by a scene where she was wrestling an alligator and killed it. How cliché can you get?

- Give me a break. An alligator? You can’t pretend that this isn’t acting.
- No acting. Actually, it wasn’t an alligator. It was a caiman. They are usually a bit smaller, you know, but that’s hard to see when photographed from a helicopter.

At that point the helicopter had to escape since the guerillas started shooting at it. Philip assured me that no one was harmed.

The scene after that was more in Anne’s usual style. She attacked the small guerilla band's base. You could see it was her since her face was visible. In ten minutes she expedited the last four guerillas only using the same knife the stand-in had used against the alligator. Sorry, the caiman.

- Acting?
- Re-enactment, quite faithful at that.

I know Phil. He wouldn’t lie to me but how could he be sure? This was all a bit too much. Even my credulity has got a limit. Then the film surprised me again.

Anne NEVER does sex scenes but here we could see the newly rescued male lead and “Anne” in passionate intercourse when the rescue team finally arrived once all the fighting had already been taken care of. Right, you could only see the back of the female but that scene was HOT. Wait a minute. I had seen that “butterfly” birthmark on that ass-cheek before!

I looked at Philip. He really should have worn a less sheer shirt. When I looked closer I could see the bandage flattening his chest.

- Acting?
- No acting. Absolutely no acting.

Philip answered with a smile and looked fondly over where the male lead was sitting with a very representative date. I felt I had something in common with her. I also understood why Anne was adamant to keep everything secret. She never could take being upstaged by her little brother.