Here I was stuck with Mr Slimeball Maskell, undersecretary at DEFRA, and my father substitute, Tom, who seemed to be in his thrall. I needed some time to think about things, either with Tom alone or by myself.

“Can I think about it?” I asked.

“But this is such an outstanding offer, not only will you be a household name, but you’ll be well paid for it too.”

“While I watch my academic credibility slide down the drain.”

“On the contrary, loads of top academics make documentaries.”
“Not at the price of self-sacrifice you want. I have been quietly supported by colleagues because there hasn’t been a song and a dance about my change of life. The statement I made on television was handled carefully and only because the tabloids were about to break it. To appear to take advantage of it, will bring down the ire of academia, and I’m not sure I want that.”

“I doubt it, even if it did happen, it would be short lived; they’d soon go back to their little ivory towers.”

“I don’t want to risk it. I’m an academic not a television presenter.”

“You are a very good communicator.”

“If that’s the case why aren’t you hearing me? I’m a researcher, a field worker, not an exhibitionist.”

“What about the Youtube clip?”

“I didn’t post it.”

“You haven’t tried to take it down either, have you?”

“I didn’t know I could, an it’s probably a bit late now.”

“You need to do this, Cathy, to help save your precious dormice.”

“I don’t know, I really don’t.”

“Tell her,Tom, she needs to do this.”

“I can’t do that, Don, she has to make up her own mind.”

“Tom, for Pete’s sake, tell her it’s a wonderful opportunity, probably the most amazing of her short life, so far.”

“You know little of her life, Don, all of it is amazing. She is a very special young woman, but she has to make her own decisions.”

“Geez-uz, what have I got to do to convince you?” Maskell turned to look at me. “I know you’ve done a lot so far to protect dormice, and it’s very creditable. But you could do ten times as much with one short film, and in a fraction of the time. Think about the other critters we have in mind, we’re talking harvest mice and pine martens–not wood pigeons. How many have been lucky enough to see either of those? We could do one on the beaver, since they’ve been reintroduced to Scotland, which would involve going to Canada to film.”

“I thought they were European beavers?” I challenged, this guy didn’t know his beavers.

“Oh yes, of course they are, but I think we would still involve the Canadian aspect, they have so many there.”

“Not Martian ones then?”

“Being facetious does not become you, Cathy.”

“I shall let you know, I have to go.” I glanced at my watch, it was nearly lunch time and I didn’t want the hard sell over food.

I nodded to each of them and left, feeling better to be out in the fresh air. “So who’s the suit?” asked Pippa.

“DEFRA–the man from the ministry. What an arsehole.”

Now, now, Cathy, we’re not allowed to talk about our lords and masters in such terms.”

“Speak for yourself,” I threw back at her, “I’ll say what I think, not what they want me to.”

“Well, Miss Outspoken, are we going for lunch?”

“Yeah, why not?” I pulled my bag over my shoulder and Pippa collected hers and we went off to the refectory. While we ate our rolls, I related what had happened, as I saw it.

“Blimey, he’s quite a slime ball, but you’re going to do it, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know yet, beyond finishing Des’ film, which I sort of promised him. But even with that, I want editorial control, not some idiot in Whitehall. After all, I helped to write the script and discussed the format and so on with Des, we even had some idea of dates about filming in the Forest of Dean.”

“So you’re going to front that one?”

“Yes, because I promised Des.”

“What’s the difference between doing one and doing four or five?”

“Quite a lot.”

“Haven’t you already sold out to them?”

“No, because I’ll make Des’ film.”

“What, on your own?”

“No, I have some names from the Beeb natural history unit.”

“So how do you know that you’ll be able to control it?”

“I think I will. I own the original stuff he shot.”

“Oh, will that make any difference?”

“I think so.”

“I thought he was working for the bank?”

“Yes and no.”

“Oh, what do you mean?”

“Des was a wheeler dealer, he was trying to sell the film to as many companies as he could, maximise profits.”

“But you work for the bank?”

“Yes I’m extremely aware of that.”

“You didn’t object to them using you for a campaign.”

“Oh yes I did.”

“Before my time, I expect.”

“It could be.”

“So whatya gonna do?”

“I have no idea.”

“You sound very prepared.”

“Eh?”

“I was being sarcastic.”

“Thanks for the moral support.”

“Anytime,” she said smiling at me, mocking me with her eyes.