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Lindsay sits on the bleachers watching the football team training. Even though Lindsay might be a bit prejudiced, Andrew, Lindsay’s brother, is undoubtedly the best player.
Lindsay’s thoughts
How I envy my big, strong, manly brother. How much easier life would have been if I only had been a little bit more like him. Popular, no doubts at all, no internal struggle!
Well, that was not for me. I’m not like that. I’m “petite” and always looked more like a girl. A pretty girl at that. I was terribly bullied. It would have been even worse if Andrew hadn’t done everything he could to stop the bullies. The overt bullying stopped but all the little things kept going on and on and on. The sly remarks, the cold shoulders, the not belonging. Even the other outcasts shunned me. Oh, how I envied Andrew.
Strong and popular he was one of the “IN” crowd from day one. And then he became first a baseball star and then a football star. He had no idea how I envied him. I cried myself to sleep endless night wanting to be like him. It didn’t help at all that he was the kindest big brother imaginable. I only envied him even more.
I suppose that my envy was one reason I was so reluctant to admit to myself who I am. Once more it was Andrew that brought me out of my shell. He was there to support me when I told my parents. That was no easy thing. It took them months to accept that I’m a girl. Those months were horrible. Not that they beat me or anything like that but the refusal to accept me hurt terribly. Fortunately I had Andrew. Oh, how I wished I was like him instead of this parody of a boy who knew he was girl.
Once our parents accepted me things got better for a while. Until school started again. Once more I wished I had been a big, strong, popular boy like Andrew. That first semester … No I’m not going to think about that!
Slowly, terribly slowly things settled down and now I’m, mostly, accepted as the girl I am. It would have been much worse without Andrew’s support. Even though he’s a boy I still envy him immensely. How much easier life would have been!
Andrew looks up at the bleachers and sees Lindsay sitting there in a pretty dress that sets off the lithe body perfectly. Golden locks framing the beautiful fine featured face.
Andrew’s thoughts
Oh, I envy my little brother. No, little sister, I must never forget that! How I envy her courage and her looks, the way that dress flows around her. On me it’d look absolutely ridiculous
How I wish I had her courage and looks. I wish I was pretty like her. I really wish I was as brave as her. How much easier things would have been. Struggle yes, but an end to torment.
If only I was brave enough to admit that I’m a girl too!
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Comments
I loved the last line.
That took the story from good to magnificent.
Samantha
Kinda...Sorta
Saw it coming. Still nice though. We all have our crosses to bear.
Envy
Unlike alot of your stories I saw this one coming, but sometimes the story is more important than the twist. This story is right as it is.
Time is the longest distance to your destination.
Wow.
I am seriously stunned. This is a truly awesome story.
Yes indeed
I enjoyed it enormously.
The grass is always greener...
But how soul killing is it to have everyone admire your mask?
Big brother was always there to protect little brother
[CAUTION: THIS WHOLE COMMENT IS A MAJOR SPOILER]
Now hopefully little sis can be there for big sis to talk to...
Beautiful, sad sweet story. ~hugs, Veronica
Well shit, I guess it really CAN happen here..,
.
Needed a Bru story (desperately)
There are a few writers who make the whole world go away. It's been a rough. savage month. My JD lost it's transmission after putting nine thousand into trans repairs last year. The shop can't help, they are two months behind with JDs stacked out the door.
My window time frame of getting the seed in the ground is closing. David is in ND harvesting wheat and loaned me his 4430 JD (big tractor). Overkill to pull a fourteen ft wheat drill but I was tickled pink for his offer and I used it. Finished up last week and I'm still unwinding from stress.
I needed Bru's story. It isn't only her stories but knowing she's still there doing her thing. It's like having a comfort blanket. Just knowing as I think of her. I read on the comments where a couple readers figured out the possible twisted ending. I just enjoyed the read. If big brother is as big as little sis claims then he will need to live his life vicariously via little sister.
Nice story
I started out life with nothing and I have most of it left.
always
Barb
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
The Worst Situation
Oh my, that's gotta be the worst situation. Being in a manly-man's body, doing manly-man sports such as football, and excelling in them. Yet either knowing in his heart, or wishing in his heart that he was a girl.
Suppose he got SRS (?) and then lived his life as a girl disguised as a boy?
-- Daphne Xu
Underreported
How many trans women are there out there who are facing the same issues? How many simply see no hope in ever successfully transitioning, and therefore refuse to admit their female soul to anyone -- even themselves?
The big brother may be playing football and baseball, but perhaps he would rather be playing soccer, volleyball, basketball, and softball. Girls play sports, too.
When we finally develop bioprinting and the autodoc, we will finally find out how many trans people there really are. I suspect that it's more than double the number of currently reported cases.
Yay! Another great Bru story
I was so happy to see another title with Bru's name underneath. Knew I was in for a quick little treat. Never a disappointment.
>>> Kay
Thank you all for your kind comments!
I appreciate them very much.
Whenever I feel a bit down I have something to re-read to cheer me up:)
As Joannebarbarella and Siteseer noted the twist wasn't very well hidden this time. Usually I just write for for fun. Occasionally I come across a situation I think should be highlighted. Sometimes that leads to one of my dark stories. This isn't really one of those, even if it's a bit sad.
Ray Drouillard highlighted a couple of others, one with a much more positive potential. Not all TG, CD or whatever letter combination you prefer within this vast and varied spectrum turn out to be girly-girly. Have to think about this. There might be a story or two in that.
I beg to differ!
I beg to differ!
It was nicely hidden. Your muse was being sneaky there in the way you wrote it before the narrator switch. It looked almost like you were going for a girl transitioning to a guy but then you switch it around to give us the surprise we didn't expect!
You criminally humble at times, this was a brilliant bit of fluff that melts the reader's heart.
I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime
At least to me, it was pretty
At least to me, it was pretty clear that Lindsay was born a guy with a girly body (and internally a girl), and bullied for it.
-- Daphne Xu
If you usually pitch curve balls ...
Come to think about it if you pitch enough curve balls and then a (relatively) straight one ...
If I understood efin correctly he was considering the possibility that ANDREW had started out with another name like Andie. That's a possibility that someone really twisted (like I) quite possibly could have come up with.
Only thing is that now I worry that my readers are getting more twisted than I am!
Bru
Twisted
It's the company we keep.
Unless I had the names wrong.
Unless I had the names wrong...
Lindsay is a unisex name thus the lack of pronouns could have had it be her transitioning to a boy as it was a fine line you walked until Andie spoke and revealed Lindsay was transitioning to female. Despite Title IX and changing views, a transitioning guy still faces the same issues transitioning women do.
That's really what I meant by my post, your muse was being so sneaky she tricked you there. She gave off a vibe of it being another possible routing that you turned around on us with the bigger reveal :D
I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime
Masks
Who doesn't wear a mask? Lindsey wore one until she came out. Then it's Andrew who wears the mask of who others want him to be.
How many do that, wear the mask of what others want us to be? How many are free to be themselves, free from any social attacks or physical attacks?
How many times has it been wishful thinking to be a little kid again in order to be ignorant about social graces or care what others think?
Others have feelings too.
Wishful Thinking
Even as a little kid, I always cared too much what others thought. And growing up into adulthood, I was all too ignorant of the social graces -- until getting thumped on the head (metaphorically). Life was a terror half the time. I still am ignorant of many social graces. That's Asperger's combined with medical anxiety for you.
-- Daphne Xu
Very few indeed do not wear mask(s)
Actually several, depending on the surroundings.
Very small children may don't care but soon they get extremely aware of the importance of fitting in, barring various conditions.
Then it takes us decades to learn to, probably not completely take off, but to wear less elaborate/thinnner masks.
Bru