As you puke - so you clean it up, hangovers don't help the cognitive processes!

Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Angharad.
part 35.

It was now nearly two thirty in the morning, my head was pounding as I bent over to clear up the sick - doesn't it stink? How come we don't smell so strong with all this stuff floating around inside us? My room was likely to stink for weeks, I resolved to get some strong disinfectant when I went out.

I stripped off the skirt and top and washed them in Fairy Liquid, well it always got the dishes clean, and left them to drip in the shower. I hoped the mark would come out. Doing things had stopped me feeling sorry for myself, but sleep would have been better. At about three, I set the alarm clock for seven and hoped I would hear it.

I was riding away as fast as I could but Big Mac and the others were catching me on their powerful motorbikes. I was getting into such a state, my legs just wouldn't go fast enough. "C'mon catch the bloody queer," they were shouting and I pedalled as fast as I could, but it wasn't fast enough. Mac grabbed me as his motorbike came past and I felt myself falling.

I hit the ground with a bump and heard the sound of a bleeper, somebody had a bleeper. It continued to bleep and I realised I was lying on the floor by my bed, the alarm was beeping at me and my head ached. I rubbed my tired eyes and pulled myself up off the floor. If I was lucky, I'd had four or five hours sleep no wonder my head and eyes hurt. I walked into the bathroom, well shower room, and the smell of puke still lingered - just what I needed!

My dripping clothes I hung above the washbasin and I started the shower, its warmth and wet helped to ease my aching body, but not my head. I would take an aspirin with my coffee.

After drying and finding a clean pair of pants, the ones Stella had sent me I switched on my kettle and dried my hair. She had done a very good cut so even I could make it look respectable. Coffee and an aspirin were next. I put bread in the toaster while finding the bra to go with the pants, then donned the black tee and skirt she'd given me. I looked at the boots and although longing to wear them, thought better of it, then changed my mind and zipped them on.

I strutted about the room while eating my toast, probably scattering crumbs everywhere. The boots were awkward but not too uncomfortable. It was nearly seven forty five, "Shit!," I needed to get a move on, I told myself.

No time for makeup, but I did throw my mascara in my bag as well as my keys and purse, then a quick coat of lipstick, squirt of smellies and I went to the door. Taking down my door lock was harder than putting it up and I wasted precious minutes, when I got the door open, someone had scrawled, 'Frigid Fanny, The Ice Queen!'in felt tip on the door. I shook my head, but that wasn't a good idea. I banged the door shut hoping to wake them all up, but all it did was reverberate around my still aching head.

The boots were a mistake, I staggered and trotted towards the clinic, but I knew I was not only going to be late, but also foot sore assuming I didn't break an ankle as well. It was ten past when I got there, I was hot, bothered, sore and irritable. My head was still someone else's or maybe just somewhere else, but I was here. The reception wasn't open, so I by-passed it and went straight to Dr Thomas' room. I smoothed my hair, my skirt, licked my teeth in case any lipstick had marked them and took a deep breath - then knocked.

"Yes," called a familiar voice and I entered.

"Hello Cathy, I'm surprised you're only ten minutes late and you don't look like the 'morning after'. Coffee?" She was pouring herself one and I gratefully accepted a cup.

"Crikey, you managed to walk here in those heels, 'you're a better man than I am Gunga Din'. She finished her Kipling quote and sat down. "So how's it going?"

"I'm still not sure about this," I said in between sips of coffee.

"Well if you can survive a hangover and still look tidy, you're doing okay."

"That's the easy bit," I offered.

"Yes but still important, if you look and sound the part, people will be less hard to convince that you are who you say you are."

"Yes I know, and I understand what you're saying but it's all happening too fast."

"A fact of life Cathy, we can prepare for ever and life still takes on its own momentum and direction. Those who survive best are those who are most adaptable and prepared to move with the change, go with the flow."

I nodded and sipped my coffee. We talked for another half an hour, and I told her about the flash back to my beating, she talked me through it and told me I was my own person able to do what I wanted, not others. We'd worked through it before and she was slightly concerned given my response to the original, but I assured her I wasn't going to kill myself over a memory.

I talked about how Mac had got me to go out and that I'd become annoyed at his possessiveness. She nodded and asked about the drink, I explained what had happened.

"So you actually told him where to go?" she asked.

"Yeah, I suppose I did."

"See you can make decisions." She gave me a warm smile and I felt much better.

"So when do you speak to Prof Agnew?"

"He told me to speak to him today."

"Have you decided what to say?"

"I don't know. I spent hours last night trying to work out what was best."

"And?"

"There was no clear answer."

"Listen to me, I want you to go inside yourself," she gave me a moment to relax and centre myself. "Go deep inside yourself and find your heart, tell me when you are with your heart."

I felt myself shrink into my body and I wandered about looking for my heart, which I found and indicated this to her.

"Now I want you to have a quick chat with your heart and ask it what it thinks you should do."

I looked at my heart and it became suffused with a lovely warm pink light, I asked the question and received a reply.

Then she sent me up to my mind and did the same. Here I met a white light and conversed with it.

Finally she bid me step outside my body and talk with myself, which I did. Once I indicated I had done all she asked me to, she bid me tell her the answers.

"What did your heart tell you?"

"To be true to myself."

"Good, and your mind?"

"To trust my own judgement."

"Excellent, now what did Cathy have to say?"

"She isn't going back in the wardrobe."

"Right," she chuckled, "So does that help you make your decision?"

"No it just confirms what I had already decided."

"Which was?"

"I'm going to see the Dean and ask to change my records." My stomach jumped and released a flock of giant condors, who soared and collided with the squadron of pigs that were already occupying the space. I felt quite sick.

"Oh Cathy, I am so pleased for you, I think you've made the right decision." She came over and hugged me, "I'm not supposed to touch patients, but this called for a congratulatory hug."

"I won't tell anyone," I said winking at her.

"It will be our little secret," she smiled and added, "Okay, well off you go but make an appointment to see me next week. Any problems, don't be afraid to call me."

I thanked her, and left feeling much better, and after visiting the loo where I freshened up my lipstick and put on some mascara, I left the clinic feeling that I wasn't at the mercy of Fate, I was marching to meet it head on. I hadn't felt this good for days.