Images 63

*Before…

Ingrid actually comes down too during it all and she takes over just doing the cash for me actually doing a good job and knowing how to use the debit machine and all that stuff and I smile at her.

“You okay to do this?” I ask.

“Yeah, I need to do something to get off my ass instead of just feel sick and being stoned to get by.”

“That’s helping you though.”

“I want to try okay, I don’t want to be a freeloader and I’m lonely.”

Taylor says. “Good, welcome, you have customers!”

She and I laugh and we keep going.

We have to get her a stool after a bit but she’s good after that and Giselle ends up sticking close to both of us and out of the way. She looks at me and at her mom like she’s trying to get what changed, what got better or how.

I know Iggy sees it, feels it too and I can see her trying.

Trying’s all I can ask for.

It’s a start.

*And Now…

We have a good lunch rush and it’s definitely took a bunch out of Iggy and she looks tired and I check with her. “You okay?”

“Yes ma, I’m fine.”

“Want to keep going?”

“Sure.”

I give her a hug. “I’m still going to check in y’know.”

She sighs...it’s just like that sigh our daughter has.

Yep, right in the feels there.

Which has me heading off to the kitchen and using my phone to send myself an e-mail. [Iggy sighs just like our daughter.]

Yeah I’m going to make something, a scrapbook, something with videos maybe. I want there to be a connection they have together.

And that gives me an idea and I go to the office and get the things that Nona gave me and then slip to the laundry room.

I find a couple of the kids there. “Who wants to make some money?”

A couple of heads turned and one Heaven a native girl says. “Sure what’s up?”

I set the stuff down. “I’ve got these things from a really sweet lady and I want to make them into a real book, with the pictures in it and all the recipes too.”

She and others look at the stuff and Heaven nods. “I can do that as long as you have a scanner for the pictures.”

“I think there’s one in the office.”

She nods and I go with her and we have one as parts of our photo copier and I look at heaven and ask. “Three hundred?”

Her eyes go wide and she nods. “Uhm...sure, definitely!....are...are you serious? Are you for real?”

“Yeah I’m for real, it’s a lot of work and typing.”

I offer my hand and we shake and I’m getting looks from Kendal and Dad.

“I’m putting all the things Nona gave me into a book and then I might send a copy or two to her family that’s out there.”

Kendal’s nodding and Dad smiles.

“I like that maybe we should do that with our family cookbook and things?”

I grin. “I’d love that honestly.”

Heaven’s still there and blinking. “I’ll do it, seriously if you like the job I do on this I’ll do it.”

Dad extends his hand to her and they shake. “Done and you can work here with us while you’re doing them both and instead of the flat fee how’s fifteen an hour?”

Heather’s looking at him and me and I shrug. “I don’t mind?”

Dad get’s up and he gets Heaven to sit as he starts hiring her under his gallery to get her real work experience and everything to go with it.

I think she’s stunned but that does give me ideas that we should be helping with things like resumes and giving the kids here that have worked for us references.

School, regular homes don’t happen for a lot of us, And it’s really hard to get enough experience to get a decent job or any job even.

Edmonton’s a nice city, it’s a great city but we have a lot of gaps here that folks don’t want to see. We’re supposed to be a pretty and a successful city when you see things on television.

And that’s true it really is but there’s still cracks here...and with the cost of living, the cracks are deep ones.

I wave later to them as I head down to the baking kitchen again and watch the others cooking then slip to the main kitchen as Taylor’s doing short order cooking but teaching the kids with him about how he makes his fried chicken from the brining to seasoning and the special buttermilk marinade and other things.

I bet some buckets and a corner and start watching both places while I’m peeling potatoes. We always need potatoes and there’s no one too good to do something here and honestly we I need the practice.

And we have different kinds too that are for fries or mashing and tonight that’s what are we going to do tonight with the fried chicken is calling for both. Fries are easier but we’ll be doing loads of mashed too.

Taylor’s starting the gravy already with him roasting carcassed from some of the chickens and that’s going with herbs and our stock and cooking slowly and he’s even making this rioux that he’s cooking really slowly and bringing it up to a three parts brown.

He has some other secrets to his gravy too but they’re secret and it is amazing stuff like pretty much it’s own food group.

I drop the potatoes off in large buckets of water and do a lot of them to get us ahead and then slip out to check up on Ingrid who’s talking to folks as she tends the cash and she does a few other little things too like making fresh coffee or getting things from behind the counter for the waitresses instead of making them come around. I smile and laugh when she passes Giselle a order ticket and Giselle gets to yell out. “Numba too!” I know Iggy’s telling her what it says because she can’t read well enough to get some of the shorthand or henscratch the girls use and she’s just doing the numbers and the “Spesul!” orders because she can’t remember the big orders but they’re both having fun and Taylor’s yelling out in the cook kitchen “Numba too!” and so are the others back there which amuses Giselle all to heck.

I go and get our digital camera and sneak some video of all of them doing this.

It’s going to be important stuff.

Especially when things get harder for Iggy, I want her to see that she’s not as bad as she thinks that she is.

And I want Giselle later on to have these memories too.

I do that for awhile...well actually until I get caught and asked to stop and then I take it to Kendal to put into the computer and we watch it with Heaven and Dad which gets awws from everyone and one that’s all settled I head into the baking kitchen and I start working at dessert.

Cinnamon rolls of course and that’s pretty much a daily thing but it just seems the suppertime ones for some reason get a little more butter and brown sugar and other things that make them even more decadent and gooey.

Like me making a little pot of boiling water and a thick syrup of brown sugar and with that I get it almost to candying and add in some corn syrup, this will keep it from crystallizing and then when I can run a line on the back of the spoon like a sauce it’s ready and I add a knob of butter and stir that in while it’s hot.

I roll out the dough and once it’s flat I pour and paint the sauce on and let it cool until it gets tacky and then butter loads of it and then the layer of brown sugar and cinnamon and a little salt and a dash of all-spice not a lot but just a dash of that and nutmeg in the whole sugar/spice mix and then I spray that with water so that there’s moisture to cook off and turn to steam which actually makes it gooey but makes the dough fluff up.

I roll them up like jelly-rolls and form the log and then slice them off two inches thick before they proof and bake.

I top them when they’re out of the over with cream cheese that I heat until it’s really soft and I loosen with yogurt this time and a shot of lemon juice into it and then I add into it a pinch of salt, a little vanilla because both boost flavors and then powdered/icing sugar. I want it sweet but I want it really this side of that cream cheese flavor.

Lots. and lots of icing too these aren’t diet safe treats and after they’re baked they take up a whole saucer when they’re served.

And well since fried chicken is a sort of extravagance these days really and I have the cream cheese out I go ahead and make cheesecakes. Mine’s dead easy I do the crust which is crushed graham wafers and some salt and butter and brown sugar plus a little vanilla that’s it and I like to mix it all together on top of the stove so the butter melts and the sugar too and that way when i mold it in the bottoms the sugar will re-harden and set and it gets crispy and that’s a good thing because it’s just crispy not hard and it helps keep the crust from getting soggy.

Then there’s my cheesecake itself and I’m not some hardcore purist. I use melty and smooth cream cheese, and Taylor makes stovetop ricotta all the time so there’s that and some buttermilk to thin it out and then egg yolks and a little lemon juice not enough to flavor it just for the tart kick and some salt, vanilla and plain white sugar because you need that for mouth feel.

And I bake them off.

If I’m filling them I literally just scoop and inch out instead of doing something fancy and the scooped out stuff gets pretty much just eaten by the staff and ill make a filling usually like a pie filling and let that set.

The kicker or killer move that I do tonight is a combo of really soft cream cheese and vanilla and powdered sugar and a little yogurt to loosen it and that gets folded into whipped cream which I put on like icing with a piping bag.

Those are all chilled and setting and everything’s in full swing for supper when I go out with a bowl of the scooped out cheesecake filling and some of the new topping and share it with Iggy and Giselle who both look tired and sleepy right after having it and I take the time to take both of them upstairs and Ingrid sort of pushed it a bit too hard and she’s hit that whole wounded animal mode and she just curls up on the couch and Giselle just sort of watches and she likely wanted to climb in there with her but Ingrid literally has her back to us and herself buried into the couch.

Giselle’s world weary little hurt sigh’s kind of heartbreaking.

I pick her up. “C’mon sweetheart you come with me and we’ll take a nap.”

She gives me this sad and hurt and sleepy nod and plants her face in my shoulder.

Her little fingers are wound into my shirt just too hard.

I use my phone and I text Holly to tell Tay because he’ll never look at his phone right now and I set the alarm and slip into bed with my daughter and roll to my side cradling her and pull the sheets over both of us into the best snuggle I can manage.

I love my daughter...I love her so much it hurts when she hurts.

I really want to be the best mom that I can be.