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by Angharad
The rest of the afternoon seemed to drift away, I fell asleep in my car after eating my lunch. I had locked the doors so I was reasonably safe. I hadn’t intended to, I just drifted listening to some debate on the US Presidential thingie. It didn’t feel important, and the black guy seemed to be in the lead in the opinion polls–so I nodded. I woke up, stiff necked and feeling worse than I had before I went to sleep. I got out of the car and went for a quick walk to wake me up a bit more, then I drove home.
I had the evening meal on before Tom came home, some grilled salmon would soon decorate his plate, with watercress and pepper salad, new potatoes and cherry tomatoes.
Tom looked very stressed when he came in. “What’s the matter?” I asked him.
“Your little friend has revealed a bit more about himself.”
“Who are we talking about?”
“I think you already know that.”
“Oh, him.”
“The very same.”
“So what do we know now, that we didn’t a few hours ago?”
“He’s an evangelical.”
“So evolution doesn’t apply to plant biology, or is that just botanists?”
“Worse.”
“Worse, I don’t Adam and Eve it?”
“It is, he went to see the Dean.”
“What about me slapping him?”
“Not officially, although that may have been part of the cause. No, he found out about your previous history.”
“Oh, is that a problem?”
“The Dean, actually defended you, telling him that the university had been aware of the situation and had no problem with it, in fact had supported you through it. He thought it was disgraceful, ’ contrary to God’s plan, and unnatural,’ amongst the repeatable bits. He’s threatened to go to the press.”
“Did you tell him it was old hat?”
“The Dean did, he also suspended him on the spot as he contravened the uni’s policy on discrimination and diversity. So he’s got nothing to lose by stirring up a shit-storm.“
“I wish I’d hit him harder.”
“So do I luvvy, but we need to plan for what might happen next. I hate these bigots.”
“Have you warned Simon?”
“Pippa did, she overheard the whole conversation, the arrogant little pipsqueak actually came into me and demanded I sack you.”
“What for?”
“Being an unsuitable influence on young minds.”
“I passed the police check, and the university seemed okay with it, so what’s his gripe?”
“I’m on your side, Darling, remember he’s full of hate and bile, so that probably gives him indigestion.”
“Have you got his application?”
“Not here, it’ll be in the office.”
“Oh, never mind, let’s eat this before the spuds go cold and the salad gets warm.” I dished up and as we tucked into it, Tom asked me what I wanted to see his application for?
“I just wondered where he was educated and where he’d taught before. I wondered if he had a history, surely he must.”
“Nothing outstanding, as I recall, but I’ll go and get it if you like.”
“No, we’ll go and get it while the machine does the dishes.” Which is what we did. I read through his CV and it looked glowing, too much so. “This guy could give Jesus an inferiority complex, it’s too perfect.”
“His referees were okay, as far as I know.”
“And the police check?”
“Yeah, as far as I know, Human Resources do that bit.”
“So what am I feeling is wrong with it?”
“I have no idea, female intuition–it wouldn’t be the first time.”
“He did his degree at Edinburgh, that’s your neck of the woods.”
“Mine was a very long time ago.”
“Yeah, but it’s your Alma Mater, surely you know someone there now?”
“I know several, what good is that supposed to do?”
“Call them up, ask if they remember Montgomery, and what sort of student he was.”
“What time is it?”
“Seven thirty,” I replied looking at my watch.
Tom picked up the phone and dialled. A moment or two later he said, “Hamish, hello, it’s Tom, Tom Agnew. Yes that Tom Agnew, hush, I’ve got my daughter here, she blushes easily…”
I sat down and looked through the CV again, there was something bugging me about it. MSc at Southampton in Marine plankton, well they do such things there, so do we, but at the marine biology department. Doctoral degree started at Sheffield, on hold due to lack of funding. It can happen. Taught at Bristol Grammar School, 1995 to 2003. My old school, I don’t remember him there, so did he lie or is my memory at fault?
Tom put the handset down, “He was a pain in the arse, according to Hamish Hewish, especially about evolution–preferred Intelligent Design, which he suggested was as valid a theory as Darwinism.”
“Did he not know Darwin went to Edinburgh?” I asked enjoying the irony. Tom shrugged his shoulders. “I have a query, I went to Bristol Grammar, I don’t remember him, and I practically lived in the biology labs.” I showed Tom the CV.
“Is there anyone we could contact?”
“I think Beeston is still the headmaster, hang on.” I switched on his computer and went to directory enquiries of British Telecom. I soon found a number, which turned out to be correct.
Tom gestured for the phone, I handed it over to him. “Hello, is that Dr Beeston of Bristol Grammar School, no I’m not selling anything. It’s Tom Agnew, Professor of Biological Sciences at Portsmouth University. I’m very well. Yes I know I should call during the week but I have a little problem which I hope you might be able to help me with. Thank you, yes it is quite urgent, it’s about…..”
I couldn’t listen, it was too upsetting. I went for a little walk out into the foyer by Pippa’s office. I paced up and down, my heels clicking on the ceramic tiles. Tom came out a few minutes later.
“Who’s a clever clogs then?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“They have never had anyone by the name of Montgomery, teach at your old school.”
“Curiouser and curiouser, said Alice,” I probably misquoted.
“Exactly. So I called John Arthurs at Southampton, he has no recollection of anyone getting an MSc by that name, and he has a phenomenal memory, so never play poker with him.”
“I’ll try not to. So is this guy a fake?”
“Seems like some of his CV, could be.”
“Isn’t it a criminal offence to claim qualifications you don’t have or to lie on an application form of this sort. I mean it could corrupt young minds, be a bad influence.” I quite enjoyed this train of thought.
“I have phoned the Dean, and he is very concerned, more than he was before. He is asking for an investigation to begin on Monday.”
“That needn’t stop him going to the press and winding them up, remember it’s always open season on trannies.”
“I know, oh don’t I know it.” A very sad expression crossed his face, then he looked at me and smiled, “That’s a long time ago. If he creates trouble, we go for the jugular, we let slip he’s under investigation for academic fraud.”
“Isn’t that going to be less of a story, I mean I have the looks and body of a model, according to my agent.”
“What sort of model?”
“A cat walk model, you know haute couture.”
“I thought they were all over six feet tall, so what would you be modelling, junior miss, or pigmy sizes?”
“Gee thanks, Dadd–eeeee, whatever, it’s got to be better than a balding psycho, like our little problem.”
“Oh yes, compared to him, you make a much better looking psycho.”
“Thank you, what did you say?”
“I said, you make a much better looking model than him.”
“You didn’t, you said something else, Tom Agnew, I heard you.”
“In which case, I needn’t repeat it. Come on, let’s go for a drink on the way home.”
“What about Mr Montgomery, if that is his name?”
“I’ll get Pippa to fax his picture up to Edinburgh on Monday, maybe it is someone else, impersonating him.”
“He knows a bit about his botany, his wretched plankton, so he’s either done a degree or been a very keen amateur.”
“Hmm, we’ll see, let’s find out what he’s planning first. Come on, a pint is calling me.” Tom put his arm on my shoulder and we switched off the lights as we left.
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Comments
Why is it that many, many
Why is it that many, many evangelicals seem to miss or should I say ignore the part in the Bible where Jesus says "Love your neighbor as yourself"? Possibly because they don't love themselves? Go figure. Let's hope Cathy and Tom run Montgomery up a flag pole and see who salutes.
J-Lynn
Their faith ...
... centres on fear not love. It's easier to control people that way. Love asks awkward questions.
Angharad
Angharad
Isn't that the truth?
I know too many people, in our community, allied communities, and outside, in the 'normal' world whose lives have been negatively affected by these people.
The problem is, ( problems are? ), that there isn't a whole lot we can do about them. Their speech is protected, and you can't teach them anything. And they won't let you ignore them.
One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness.
It usually comes back to you.
Holly
One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness.
It usually comes back to you.
Holly
And true love...
And true love will answer those awkward questions...
hugs Ang!
Diana
ps Great story, I still don't know why the networks haven't snagged it up
TV Series
Yeah Diana I thought so to.
It would make a great early evening series.
Its funny, entertaining, teaching and would help make transsexuals look more like the normal people we are.
Ten times better fight for our rights and against discrimination than any law could ever make on its own.
Maybe someone should pitch it to them if Ang is not going to. ;)
Thanks Ang for this fantastic story
hugs
Holly
Friendship is like glass,
once broken it can be mented,
but there will always be a crack.
Religions which consist
of institutionalized faith are more often not about believe in some benevolent higher order with its' message of love and compassion, but about control. Control of the flock and there within control of their positions and the appropriate emoluments.
The message is only the lure, but you have to have some control so scaring with, and segregating of, those smaller obviously different factions from the main body keeps the flock manageable. It's an old roman wisdom 'Divide and conquer'
Politicians use similar tactics, now for instance with the focus on terror and a flood of questionable regulations and rules which are suddenly imposed while you could reasonable question the practicality and usefulness against any marginally determined terrorist.
The majority of people adhere to rules, and this goes as well for many of the clergy who simply do as they are told.
Luckily there will always be people who have an independent mind and dare question the rule, think outside the box, and won't be bullied.
I'll step down my soap box now, thank you.
By the way.. Still awesome writing Angharad, I don't know how you do it, but I am for ever grateful. Just be easy on yourself, you don't _have_ to write one every day. You're welcome to it, but.. well, you know.
Jo-Anne
I Agree With You
Jesus even called the Chief Priests out on the the things they were doing to control the masses. Most evangelicals have forgotten that Jesus spent most of his time with the outcasts of society.They also forget the part where he says Judge not, lest ye also be judged. I am a woman of faith and I have learned to filter through the static that some churches have put out there.They make themselves seem like they are better than anyone else. I have always known that there was more to this than what the Churches have been telling the people.
Hugs,
Jen
Curiouser and curiouser
where are we Alice. Is this just someone trying to get one up and suck out some bucks, or is this something more sinister? And what is the idiot going to do now that he has been suspended and the whole thing is gonna blow, all because of Cathy. Better get that archery stuff out again Girl.
Okay, I'm glad...
"I read the comments before comenting for a change... I was going to use the same "subject" but probalby spell it wrong. (the "and" of course).
Things DO seem curious... Did "Montomery" show up JUST to cause trouble? Or, maybe, is he one of those that pretend" to do the job. There was one "Plastic Surgeon" I recall hearing about out on Long Island... That I don't recall if he went to Med School even... Some of his "patients" even complimented his work... Making it up as he went along.
Fun story,
Annette
Religious Scum!!!
What a hypocrit that scum is!! is he even a citizen? He makes Cathy's dad look tame by comparison,
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Violent types
Many of these types can justify anything, including violence. Things like killing people are OK in their book (even if it isn't) because it is God's will. Come to think of it, this isn't the first time Cathy has run into it, thinking about her parents. Her parents really were decent people though, even if they were opinionated, but this guy may be something else. It may be a good time to keep the bow strung and the arrows ready.
Liar,liar,pants on fire
Even though I'm a Christian (small C),and believe in a higher authority, Aliens, Gods, God. These evangelicals for the most part, are hateful, and narrow minded. just opposite the teachings of Christ. Are you scratching your heads yet ? This is basically the belief of Charlie's father, who almost beat Charlie to death, because he was different.
Is it any wonder Cathy went off on him. To commit fraud by lying about degrees in order to obtain a job is a felony in the US, and prosecuted.
aggressively.
Cefin