Cathy fields questions on her field work. See what her answers were.

Easy As They Come.
by Angostura Bitters
part: eleven dozen and ten.

"I can't believe I let them take photographs without asking what they were for," I told Simon as soon as I got back to my room.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you looked stunning."

"What I looked like is the least of my worries, no, let me rephrase that, what they do with it is the most of my worries, how I appeared is a partial worry. If I look like a dog, then I'd prefer they don't use any of them."

"I didn't think you could photograph angels anyway."

"Well I have one on my drivers licence."

"Ah, maybe it's a likeness of someone similar to you."

"Nice try Si, I'm not in the least angelic. Try Stella."

"If Stella didn't come out on photos it's because she's a vampire!"

"She's your sister Simon, have some respect."

"What, she used to be before she got bitten by the worst sort of vampire."

"What one's that?" I enquired knowing I was setting myself up.

"The shopping vampire, feeds on credit cards and charge cards. Sucks 'em dry in minutes."

"That's a dreadful thing to say," I chided him.

"It's true though, just make sure she doesn't bite you."

"Okay Simon, I'll try and wear a crucifix or some sort of protection."

"Just keep away from shops and the internet. That's the best protection."

"Okay. I have to go back into the department, so I have to go lover."

"Oh, that's unusual."

"Yeah, gotta show some students the ropes."

"You're going out to those woods again aren't you?"

"Erm,"

"You are, I can smell it."

"No that's my deodorant, Eau de Dormouse, Spike tinkled on me."

"Don't change the subject."

"I have to go."

"Call me when you get back, I won't be asleep."

"Don't be silly, it could be two or three o'clock before I get back, depends on how quick this lot are to pick it all up."

"Ring me." He put his phone down and I felt myself blushing. My autonomic nervous system was obviously in fine fettle.

I drove the Mondeo into the university and they were sat waiting for me outside the department. I had already loaded the equipment and checked it all. We had torches and two lots of night vision equipment. I held up the new hardback book.

"I've made columns and all we have to do is make the measurements and counts and write them in here. Then I'll stick 'em on the 'puter. When you do them on your own, just follow what I did before, it's straightforward enough. The hard part is taking the measurements in the dark. You need a red light to see what you're doing without dazzling yourself or scaring the animals. For some reason, red doesn't seem to worry them."

They giggled, "Okay, I know, it's the red light district. Let's go play zoologists."

We chatted as I drove to the woodland. I'd arranged for them to get a spare key for the foresty gate. I showed them how to open the gate and move the pole aside, then we drove through and up the woodland track.

"Gosh isn't it dark?" said Zoe.

"Yeah, it's cos the sun went down," quipped Nick.

"Yep, Appollo is driving his chariot somewhere else, okay let's get started. Keep the noise down, and you'll be surprised what you see and hear."

Using only red lights we walked to site one and I showed them what to do, it was slower going than usual as I had to repeat things, but they seemed to be enjoying it.

Site two and three were equally slow as I let them do the recording and measuring. By site four, they had some idea and two hours later we'd done the lot. I was shattered and they looked to be quite tired.

"It's harder work than I thought," said Denise.

"You used to do this on your own didn't you?" asked Nick.

"Yes I did, but because of what happened, we won't allow anyone to go on their own, so it has to be at least two of you. If you want to recruit others, that's fine as long as I have met them and agreed. It's a serious bit of work and it could get you a chance to work in survey stuff after you graduate. It's also about the most prestigious project going on in Europe at the moment, and just to say you were part of it, will look good on your CV."

"Weren't you scared out here on your own?"

"No, I knew the area in daylight before I came out here at night. I've combed practically every square metre looking for signs, so I think I can say I know it intimately. Some time in the next month or so, before Christmas, I'm going to be surveying some additional areas in daylight. If you want to come along to see what's involved, let me know, or anyone else you think might be interested."

"You enjoy your work, don't you?" asked Zoe.

"No, I love my work. For me, this is what biology is all about, not chopping up things in labs, although that is necessary to see how things work, but communing with nature out of doors. Seeing it as it is, being a part of it."

"You're quite a romantic, aren't you?"

"It shows does it Denise?"

"It's a bit unusual for a woman."

"Oh we're back to that are we. Okay, I used to be a man, end of story, so now you can tell all your friends. But before that think about Jane Goodall and Diane Fossey and tell me women don't do this sort of stuff!"

"I'm sorry," said Zoe, "but they told me to check."

"Check what?"

"That you were female."

"Why, for God's sake, what difference does it make."

"My friend says the most beautiful woman I'll ever see will probably be a man, a drag artist because they do everything down to the smallest detail."

"They possibly do, but like most other women, I have neither the time nor the inclination. Do you?"

"Course not."

"Okay, are you wearing any make up?"

"Yeah. So what?"

"To come out and walk through a forest in the dark?" I asked her. Denise and Nick seemed very quiet, presumably watching what was going on.

"Have you got any on?" Zoe asked me.

"Nope, just some moisturiser in case it gets cold later, that dries my skin."

"I think you're very brave."

"What coming out here with three body guards?"

"No, changing sex."

"Thank you, as far as I'm concerned I always was female, it's just my body didn't know, so I changed my body."

"Where did you change it, and do you think they'd change mine for me?" asked Zoe, her tongue deeply embedded in her cheek.

I was tempted to say all sorts of nasty things, but didn't. I needed to learn how to cope with this sort of thing without it blowing up and apart from anyone else, upsetting myself. I was sure it would stand me in good stead.

"Right before I close this topic for ever, are there any more questions on my gender identity disorder?"

"You're engaged, does your fiance know about you know?"

"Yes and no he isn't gay, he sees me as a normal woman who can't have children. His family are okay with it too, and so is my father. My mother is dead, so I can't ask her. The university is okay with it and apart from one or two exceptions, it seems so is the whole world. If you're not, then say so now because we're going to have to work together quite a bit."

"Have you had plastic surgery done on your face?"

"No I haven't," I felt quite irritated.

"You must have been a very pretty boy, were you gay?"

"Yes I suppose I was, although I didn't think so at the time. I thought I was a nothing that people ignored, and no I wasn't gay, I wasn't anything until I got kissed as a woman and that seemed to unlock the door."

"Wow, so you were what, celibate?"

"I think asexual, or I thought I was. I changed my mind, maybe the hormones helped, I don't honestly know. But living as a boy, I had no sexual feelings at all, just a sadness that I couldn't be who and what I wanted to be."

"That's awfully sad, I've never thought about it like that before." Offered Denise.

"I wasn't too worried about being a pretty woman as long as I was acceptable as a woman."

"You're not pretty Cathy, you're beautiful." Nick hadn't said much at all.

I was blushing and went all dithery, I still had a problem with compliments. "Erm, that wasn't a question Nick, but shall we finish it there."

"Why do you have a problem with compliments Cathy? That was a question." He was pressing his initiative.

"Do I? Okay, I do. I was brought up in a very strict household. I was expected to always do my best and not expect praise. When my father found out what I was, he beat me badly. He nearly killed me and I then tried to finish the job, you still with me Nick?" He nodded.

"I was saved only because some electrician who was testing appliances came into my room and found me. I can't use paracetamol ever again. My consultant psychiatrist, then gave me back my life and taught me not to be ashamed for what nature or life had made me. Since then I haven't looked back, well not too often. Life doesn't aways go smoothly, but I seem to cope.

Three weeks ago, I was out here with my fiance, doing the survey, he came because he didn't like the idea of a woman out here on her own. I'd always felt safe, never thinking about danger other than falling over a tree root or in a hole. He got shot by poachers and was very lucky not to have received lethal injuries."

"And you came out here again?" asked Denise.

"Yeah, my dormice need me, or now us."

"You said your dad now accepted you, yet he beat you before, what changed?"

"I did, and so did his circumstances, he had a stroke. He now needs me, that meant he had to eat humble pie."

"Gosh you are brave," Denise changed the subject.

"No, the risk of getting shot is higher in town than out here at night. It's a nature reserve, a protected area. The poachers should get long sentences for all sorts of offences. My fiance's dad also has some clout, so it should happen. Provided you don't fall over something or walk into a low branch, hence the hard hats, you are pretty safe. But only in groups of two or more."

They all agreed. "So now you've done a real life test, what do you think, good fun or what?"

"What about bad weather?"

"Do it as soon after as you can, it's important then because very cold weather can kill those animals with insufficient bodyweight. Strong winds can bring down trees and disturb colonies, they can also kill you, so that's a no no. Snow, not usually a problem. Rain, you get wet the department has waterproofs you can borrow, they're horrible, I have my own Gortex stuff. Expensive but excellent. But then, this is my priority, I spent my money on field kit and a bike, not flashy clothes."

"Wasn't that you we saw earlier, with the visitors?"

"Yes, why?"

"In the YSL suit."

"Yes it was."

"You don't splash on clothes?"

"No I told you I don't."

"That was over a thousand quids worth of stuff." Denise was obviously well up on her fashions.

"Well I was given it, I didn't actually pay anything for it."

"What for Yves Saint Laurent?"

"Of course, that's what YSL stands for. I knew it was rather nice, too nice for work, but it did the job. I'm sure Next or Topshop, would have done just as well."

"Can I have your friends name, Cathy in case she chucks out anything else?"

"Who is KC and DK...." I was just winding them up, but well they'd asked for it.

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