Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Angharad.
part 64

When I went back about four, I slept solidly until about ten. The radio was still on and the music was much more contemporary and not to my liking, so I switched it off. I showered and made some tea.

Dressed in jeans and flat shoes, denim jacket and tee shirt I set off in pursuit of the Abba album that had the song I'd heard last night. I hadn't remembered the name of it, so I would have to research it. These days I bought CDs over the internet, they were usually cheaper but today I had to have this album if I could find it. I went to the HMV shop and found they had several Abba albums. I glanced at the names of the tracks and it could have been any one of several.

One or two I could recall because they were so well known, Waterloo, Money Money Money, Fernando and several others. To some extent they all sounded similar, you can tell an Abba track even if you have never heard it before.

I opened the case of 'Abba - number ones' and found the list of songs with the lyrics. I felt that I might just find it. Then after the third page of words, I wasn't so sure. By page five I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever find them. Then on page eight, there they were and the title of the song, 'The Name Of The Game.'

Half an hour later I was standing in my room and slotting the disc into my CD player even before I shut the door of my room. Most of the day I sat about playing with my dissertation and listening to the CD. After a little while I began to know which song was coming next but I couldn't stop listening to it.

I didn't hear my phone ring so when I happened to pick it up I was surprised to have a voicemail from Prof Agnew, asking me to let him see the draft of my dissertation by friday. Bugger! Now I had to get some work done. I turned down Abba and began to read the existing draft on the computer. I found a couple of typos,including 'doormice' and 'mammels' so I was obviously concentrating to some extent.

I added a paragraph to the conclusions mainly of my concerns about the continued existence of a number of small mammals, especially harvest mice and dormice due to the increasing mechanisation of farming and destruction of habitat. The effects of global warming were inconclusive but could prove to be a factor if temperatures rose and crops changed.

I rose to make a well earned cuppa only to realise it was nearly dark and I had been at my task for about six hours. My tummy rumbled and I recognised its need for some food. I drank my tea and checked out the fridge, I had some remnants of a salad. I needed to pop across to the shop.

In the shop I bought a couple of big potatoes and a tin of tuna, I decided I'd have a favourite, tuna jacket potato. I handed my purchases to the owner.

"Did you go to the funeral?" he asked.

"Yes, I did, you were right. I'm now talking to Daddy again." Where did that come from, I haven't called him that since I was about eight.

"I am so glad," he beamed back at me, "and how is your brother?"

"Erm," I had almost forgotten about the yarn I'd spun the first time he met Cathy. "He's getting there, I suppose."

"Did he also attend your mother's funeral?"

"Oh yeah, just a bit disabled." I couldn't remember if I'd said he'd broken an arm or a leg or both so I kept quiet about anything further that could give me away.

"Do you need more milk, you don't seem to have bought any for several days?"

"Oh that's a point, I probably do, thanks for that," for changing the topic I added silently.

I was walking back to my room when I encountered Big Mac on the stairs. I don't know which of us was the more frightened as we both froze. He was standing a step above me and with his extra height he towered over me. I swallowed and glaring at him I pushed past him and to my door. My hand was shaking so much I couldn't get my key into the door but I felt a wave of relief as his rapid footsteps down the stairs faded as he got further from me.

I got in and after dumping my purchases on the table, I sat on my bed and wept, my body shaking with emotion. I think I must have dozed off because I heard my phone ringing in the distance. By the time I found it, the caller had rung off and I had to call my voicemail. It was Simon, I nearly cried with relief.

"Hi Cathy, how are you my sweet? Well I hope, look I have some bad news." My stomach churned. "I have to stay in town for a couple or three days, visiting VIPs from Europe and the States, so I have to earn my brownie points and entertain them. It is so boring, eating too much, drinking far too much, going to the theatre or other events. I wish I was taking you to a concert or even to the cinema. Stella is about some of the time, when she isn't piss taking, if you get lonely give her a bell. I'll give you a ring as soon as I get back. Take care sweetie-pie."

I felt sad, my week was going to be empty. It was true that I had to finish the draft of my dissertation but that was nearly complete and I could conclude that by tomorrow evening. I wanted to get some more rides in before the weather turned too cold or wet. I was by inclination a fair weather cyclist, not one of these real enthusiasts who turn out in all weathers. It probably explained why they were fitter and faster than I was. Some bike rides would be in order I had the time for the next couple of days, although it would depend upon the weather.

It was too late to make myself much to eat, so I chucked all the food in the fridge and made some toast and another cuppa. I went to bed and tried to read. Even Dan Brown couldn't get my attention and I called it a night at about midnight. I was tired and twitchy but not sleepy and I tossed and turned until nearly three o'clock when I must have drifted off.

I dreamed I was in London with Simon, he helped me out of the cab and I stepped onto the pavement, my long dress needing to be held off the ground unil we got on to the carpet. Simon looked so attractive in his dinner suit, we were so lucky to get invited to the premiere of this film and meet one or two of the stars involved in it.

The cameras flashed and I smiled politely as I held onto his arm in near terror and as a help to walking in the heels I was wearing, which were quite ridiculous. We climbed the steps into the cinema and were introduced to others waiting in the foyer.

While we were waiting to be shown to our seats I felt someone's eyes boring into the back of me and someone just to the side of me saying, "Yes, she's quite convincing until you get up close then you can see she used to be a man."

I woke up feeling sick and sweating. Would I never be free of my past? Are we ever free of it, even if others don't know we do, so do we delude ourselves?

I got up and made myself some tea then after drinking it I felt sick and had to rush to the toilet. I brought up my cuppa and my toast and after a drink of water went back to bed, feeling cold and shivery. Was it wind in my stomach, had I caught some sort of bug or what? I went back to bed and was soon asleep.