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Chapter 60

Giselle was down for a while with her nap and was flaked out with Dad and Angie and Iggy was sort of doing the same in the big chair in a half curl with her ear-buds plugged into her MP-3 player and a comforter wrapped around her and Taylor went to the kitchens and he came back with all of the things that I asked to staff to get ready.

Six pizza skins all at twelve inches and things from the kitchen that are all pre-done and there’s sausage and ground beef already cooked and deli meats sliced and the veggies too like the onions and the mushrooms and the rest like sauce and cheese.

I stopped for spinach and broccoli rabe and artichoke hearts in jars and some ricotta and fresh herbs.

Hunter’s a kid so her’s is going to be cheese on one half and pepperoni on the other so I take the pepperoni and toss it in the oven on a cookie sheet and get it going until it’s crispy and then it’s sauce and cheese and I sauce it really thick since it’s a pretty simple pizza and on the pepperoni side I mix some of the sauce in with a few of the pepperoni that I oven crisped up and I chopped up so that taste is there under the cheese I put on and then the last of the pepperoni is on after I cheese the pizza. On the cheese pizza half there’s a bit of parmesan and some cheddar too.

I make a white pizza with a béchamel with lots of roasted garlic and the sausage and that I have some of the ricotta spooned and mixed through it all at random and the toppings are the spinach and broccoli rabe and the artichoke hearts with some charred skinned red sweet bell peppers and some chopped basil and thyme and rosemary…just a little and then lots of good mozzarella.

I do two that are just with the works and that then last two skins and I make garlic fingers with them and for mine that’s just the skins and lots of parmesan and I put on salt and pepper and bake them. This has the cheese which is hard sort of stick to the bread and make it rougher. I then brush it with garlic butter and then its lots of mozzarella cheese.

And I make donair sauce.

Donairs are from out east but with all the people out here from there we have a few places and it’s sort of like this gyro but not an like souvlaki but not it’s ground beef and sometimes lamb and it’s got tones of garlic in there and oregano and black pepper and some other spices but it’s rolled into this big log and cooked like that and then the whole thing is spit mounted like for swarma.

Well there’s this sweet sort of sauce that’s condensed evaporated milk like you use for desserts and mayonnaise and then there’s garlic and vinegar.

Mine I use our house mayo and I use roasted garlic and the oil I roasted the garlic in and salt and pepper plus I use some regular vinegar but I give mine a squeeze of lemon juice. Kind of the same but not, it’s all still this creamy sweet and sticky and garlicy and savory thing.

No, I didn't do the anchovies.

I send a pizza with the works and a garlic fingers down to the staff with sauce and then we gather around to relax after it all and eat and watch A Dolphin’s Tale on Netflix.

Apparently Iggy can do the garlic fingers and a little sauce without it being too hard on her.

And Giselle tries and few little noms of everything like little micro-bites and Dad is beside himself when she wants bites and not cuts off of grampies “Izza…”

And she likes more than anything to get someone a slice just to see the stringy cheesy effect.

And almost always with her little “Heeeee…” and the big grins and “Cheeze!”

And wow yeah I kind of love being a wife and a mom.

No I do love it really, I do.

And after the movie the food is hitting and Dad and Angie and Hunter are leaving and hunter gives me the biggest hug. “I had like the best day.”

“Good I had a great day too.”

“I want this too.”

“Yeah well you’re on a good start kiddo.”

She looks at me and she nods. “Someday maybe this isn’t gonna be a thing y’know. Someone’s going to find out that we’re really like real and with science and stuff and girls like us will just be able to be fixed and be the girls that we’re supposed to be.”

I hug her. “I hope so too.”

She squeezes me tight. “Thanks for sharing Jenna.”

“Hey, we’re family, we’re sisters.”

“Yeah but I really loved this ‘cause it all went away today…it was all possible and it was all like real.”

I hug her tight. “It is real Hunter and for you it’ll be even better you’ll see.”

We share another hugs and she leaves with Dad and Angie and Iggy’s already bedding down for the night and Giselle is with her. Which just leaves Taylor and myself and we quietly do the dishes together and he’s doing that thing that he does with the dishes that I love and it’s romantic as heck.

I love it when he wraps his arms around me and he’s doing this hugging thing as we’ll do the dishes together and there’s these sudsy little touches between our hands and with fingers and him close and holding me sort of and sort of pressed to me both and there’s kissing over my shoulder and then there’s Taylor doing those little nibbles to my neck and my ear.

And I can feel his hardness pressed to me and settled to me and pressed through his clothes and it makes me blush and smile at first and it makes me giggle a little in a trying to be quiet way and then it’s making me feel wanted and romantic and sexy.

That’s some of his magic really making the whole thing of doing dishes like that with him.

And feeling and knowing that he wants me…finds me attractive and that he loves me.

Guys don’t do stuff like the dishes things unless they want to.

And his hands wander once we’re done and that feels good too.

I turn around and I look at him and we kiss and he lifts me up and sets me on the counter top so I can sit and he starts to kiss me again.

I use my height advantage to peel off his shirt.

God he’s good looking, handsome and I really do love him. The way that he looks and smells even the soft sort of blonde patch he has going on with his chest. It actually never fails to get my trans part of my brain going either as I’m touching him and running my hands over his warm skin and those muscles and over his arms and shoulders.

Shoulders that make me sort of bite my lip in a good way.

Trying to get the attraction thing is always a semi playing thing in my head and yes it is as simple as I’m straight and it’s a boy girl thing but there’s always that trans overthinking part of me that wonders just how I can hate things so much in myself about myself that I love in him?

It’s not even a bad thing it’s just sort of a thing.

My odd strange trans fascination thing.

My taking off his shirt leads to mine coming off and then there’s the feeling of Taylor’s touch on my and the good thrill-shiver and intake of breath and I feel all of this right through the bra.

God I love my breasts…not just as the right weight in the right place or the way that they make my appearance so right too but I’m a married woman and I really, really am enjoying all of those things that come with being happily married.

Taylor picks me up in his arms and carries me off to bed making it all even better too…I know there’s all of these stereotypes the haters put out and honestly I don’t care.

I like being pretty sometimes, I like Taylor’s attention and enough of the other that I feel like I fit in at least and I like stuff like these times when he’s carrying me to our room and I feel small and pretty and I feel really, really special.

And I’m not small not really so it’s really appreciated and sexy all the more really.

There’s times too like this that are that really, really having a home sort of experience too when you’re getting undressed to be together and it’s hands and fingers touching and teasing and pleasing and kisses and more shared between sweet lips and the skin from each of us.

But it’s the fun and loving way he’s getting my pants off and me with his and it’s not slinky wear or sexy, sexy clothes it’s jeans and just normal clothes. It’s Taylor taking the time to make it fun when he rolls my tube socks down and off my feet like a stocking.

And that he makes me feel like this on a regular basis is really such a huge gift. I love that he can do that and sometimes, sometimes I wonder who saved who.

We get back to kissing and then we get undressed more and more and I’m getting better about my bottom zone and everything even naked.

The ori surgery really did help with the dysphoria down there.

But something I had been thinking on has helped me too. And that’s love and people and who we love and how we love comes in so many forms. Being trans is just a part of being and one that we let decide so much of ourselves, that we allow others to define too.

In a way we’re like disabled folks, not to be taking from them in any way but it’s like there is something off for us, and it’s something fundamental but that doesn’t really limit us past what we usually end up letting us.

What we think about how we are as trans people.

And just like how really someone’s disabilities shouldn’t be ‘The’ thing that defines them inside or out well I’m thinking a lot more lately that my birth gender and being trans shouldn’t define me.

And it’s helping too really even slipping into the bathroom to get ready for bed and being intimate. Sure there’s things that I wish were done and all but looking at it like this getting clean and getting ready and so it’s really just a thing that I have to do that only has some of what I’m about.

And after all of that it’s about me, completely non-standard me and all…naked and leaning in the doorway and Taylor looks at me and there’s that smile, that same sweet guy smile and he opens the bed sheets for me.

“Hey beautiful.”

It’s really nice to not feel like he’s talking about someone else and yeah I blush a little, bite my lower lip some and head over and slip into our bed.

“Hey Handsome…” and I kiss him really deeply.