The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2396 by Angharad Copyright© 2014 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

Nearly half way through July already, goodness if it carries on like this it’ll be dark again in the mornings and evenings before I get back on my bike. I decided that I would drop the girls at school and then come home and ride—perhaps pop into the university on the bike.

I showered, didn’t know why as I’d need to do so again after riding. Perhaps I’m more tired than I thought, in which case is exercise a good idea—yes, I need to do something I enjoy which also pushes my heart rate to a hundred plus and sex is out of the question—don’t tell Simon that. I was blushing as I looked at the bed only to realize he’d gone to work already. Why do I get embarrassed talking about things like sex—or worse even thinking about them? Am I that repressed? Could be—well done Mum and Dad, like Larkin’s poem you f%$@ed me up, good and proper. All I can do to deal with it is to try and be more laid back about the children’s lives and relationships in particular.

Thinking about the way things had gone so far I wondered if I’d been a bit tough on Julie and Sammi, and also with Jaquie and her ill fated relationship. Had I put her off having another one—goodness I hope not; her life had been such a traumatic one so far, I had hoped we were helping to heal her damage, it hadn’t occurred to me that I might be adding to it. Life is always so complicated.

I got the girls up and they were fizzing like bottles of pop, several times I had to point out if they fiddled around much more they’d be late and then they wouldn’t get included in the quiz team. Trish challenged me in a very arrogant way, “Of course we will, without us they don’t have a team.”

“Carry on like that, miss, and I’ll rescind my permission and you won’t be able to go.”

“You can’t—we’d lose.”

“So?”

“But you can’t, Mummy.”

“Don’t tell me what I can or cannot do.”

“I think you’d better apologise,” counselled Livvie.

“Sorry, Mummy, I was getting over excited.”

“Right, final warning, any further cheek or arrogance and I’ll stop you going.”

“Yes, Mummy, sorry.”

“I think you’d better say thank you to your sister, it was she who saved your bacon, this time.” I left them talking together while they dressed and went to start the breakfast. I took Lizzie down with me and handed her to Jacquie who took her off to clean her up while I got the breakfasts ready and then started on the packed lunches Livvie and Trish needed for their quiz.

The girls started their breakfasts and Julie and Phoebe came down for theirs, the latter had finished her exams and was awaiting the results. Anything but a distinction would disappoint me because Phoebe is quite a bright spark. They supervised their younger sisters while I completed the sandwiches and drinks. Then Lizzie was returned to feast upon my poor boobs, though I did manage a slice of toast and a cuppa while she sucked my lungs out with Cate begrudging the baby every drop.

I blushed as Lizzie called me ‘Ma ma.’ I didn’t need another daughter I had more than I could cope with already, yet I couldn’t abandon her and Neal certainly couldn’t care for her, he could hardly care for himself. So it looked for the foreseeable future I had another baby.

Despite all the aggro at breakfast—we were all a bit tired after the long drive yesterday—I got the girls to school, Mima and Danielle complaining because they didn’t have a packed lunch. I did try to point out it was only because of the quiz that the other two did, but I’m not sure that held any water for the complainants.

As I was about to leave Sister Maria caught me. She handed me a ticket to get into the quiz at Southampton. I didn’t really have the time to go but this woman makes feel guilty just by looking at me. “Your two are the backbone of the team, I’m sure they’d love to know you were there cheering them on.”

What d’you say to that? Tough, I’m busy. Perhaps I should have said something of a polite equivalent but my treacherous and cowardly mouth simply said, “What time?”

“It kicks off at one pm.”

“I’ll be there.” Why do I do these things? I decided if I dashed straight home I could get in a quick ride pop in to feed the dormeece and get back home to shower and dress again then down to Our Lady of Mercy school and the quiz. I wondered if knowing I was there would make it better or worse for the girls. I’d also have to ask Jacquie to collect them.

On returning home, I discovered Stella had taken the day off to recuperate from the ordeal of looking after Lizzie—which I believe Jacquie did the majority, but that’s Stella, drama queen extraordinaire.

I’ve given up thinking she’ll change, though she is a good mother to her two girls, that’s normally all she does, though she is working: then again, so am I. No point in dwelling on things I only get upset.

Jacquie made a cuppa while I dashed up and changed. My kit felt tighter than it used to be—I think it was trying to tell me something; but then going out on a bike was part of the solution—albeit theoretical. I downed the rapidly cooling char and giving Cate and Lizzie a kiss, I got the bike out and after a quick safety check, rolled out of the drive and on to the road.

I began to wonder about the wisdom of my decision to ride Portsdown hill and it was only the memory of the little ones pedalling up Holme Moss which kept me going. I couldn’t allow them to best me, even if they probably could. I reached the top and my lungs felt like Lizzie had sucked them inside out and I’d just sucked them back in.

I came down a bit further along and overtook cars on the hill which was a little hairy but a girl needs a little excitement in her life. I got to the university hot and bothered only to discover Hilary was in and had fed the dormeeces. I set off back for home.

After the second shower of the day I rubbed in moisturiser and dressed, did some makeup and decided I’d better dress up a little for the occasion, so I did wearing a dress and taking a matching jacket with me in case it got cooler—yeah, like that’s going to happen.

Jacquie agreed to collect the two girls, I’d bring Mork and Mindy home from the quiz depending upon how far they got—probably not terribly far. The motorway was closed through an accident so I had to go non-motorway, hoping it wasn’t my two who were involved in the accident. They were already answering questions and helped St Clare’s trounce their first opponents. Trish and Livvie looked in a class of their own, they also looked well suited to it.